DISCLAIMER: You know the drill.... I do not own any part of ALIAS yada yada yada (but I do wish that I did own Michael) All the characters are products of JJ Abram's genius mind yada yada yada So please don't sue cuz I need the money for college
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***Ask and you shall receive.... here is another chapter for all those that asked for it***
Sydney tapped her foot impatiently as Dixon continued to go over the basics of how they should handle themselves in the presence of Lauren. She felt as though all she was hearing was useless information. It seemed ridiculous that she was pulled away from Vaughn just to hear a plan that was so simple a rookie agent would have been able to follow it. All she had to do was make it seem that nothing had changed in the office and make Lauren think that her lie was still working.
Vaughn. That was all that concerned her at that moment. She wanted... no... she needed to go back into the debriefing office and make sure he was okay. She wasn't going to deny it. Vaughn had hurt her in so many ways these past couple of months. From the moment they had kissed just seconds before their execution to the minute he had called her to cancel their coffee date, Vaughn had been nothing but a source of disappointment for her.
So why was she so quick to forgive his actions? Why was she willing to forget everything that had happened to be with him? Deep down, she realized that she already knew the answer. He had always been there for her at her lowest, even when she had tried to push him away. She had turned to men like Noah while Vaughn remained the one constant thing in her life.
He had always put his life on the line for her, even when the rules told him not to. When he sought her out in the train station that night, she knew that he was breaking every single regulation to help her. It was now her turn to return the favor.
Sydney knew fully well that Vaughn was far from perfect, but she knew that she wasn't either.
Once Sydney had placed her attention back on Dixon's lecture, he was on the verge of reaching the end of his meeting. He adamantly urged each one to keep up with the appearances.
"Our behavior should not in anyway deter from its usual routine. Lauren is expected to return to work tomorrow, and I expect your full cooperation in this matter."
With that, he dismissed each of the agents. They all walked in their own separate directions while Sydney knew exactly where she was heading to. Her steps held a certain decisiveness that had not been seen in her for quite some time. Once she reached her destination, she hesitantly placed her hand on the knob and turned it slowly.
"This is only the beginning," she thought to herself.
She opened the door and stepped in only to find the room empty. Her heart sank the moment she realized Vaughn had left the office. She leaned on the doorway and rubbed her forehead. She finally let out a breath not noticing that she had been holding it in this entire time.
"It's going to take time."
She jumped at the voice knowing full well who it was. She turned to its owner and could only manage a small smile.
"I know Weiss.... I just want to be there for him. The other day when you had asked me whether I thought Lauren was the mole or whether I wanted her to be, I realized just how right you were. My head told me that Lauren had to be the mole because all of the signs were there, but my heart told me that Lauren had to be the mole because she was the only thing standing between Vaughn and me. When I recognized those feelings, I felt like I was such a bad person for wishing something like that.... and now seeing Vaughn in the state he's in, I noticed just how selfish I was to have wanted something like this in his life."
Sydney could feel a tear escape her eye as she quickly wiped it away. Weiss looked at his friend and noticed just how hard this situation must be for her. He placed a comforting hand on her shoulder and tried to think of the most comforting thing to say during a moment like this.
"You weren't acting like a selfish person..... you were acting like a person in love. We all know that Lauren was never the one for Mike, even if she hadn't been the mole. It was and will always be you. I guess sometimes you have to go through some difficult and trying times before you can live the life you have always wanted. You should know how it goes by now. The moment you think that everything is fine and perfect is the moment where it stops being that way."
He paused momentarily noticing just how true his last words were. Weiss thought back to how his friend had been experiencing the life he had always dreamed of having when he learned that Mike was planning on proposing to Sydney in Santa Barbara. Of course those plans had taken a turn for the worse.
"Listen, I know Mike, and I know him well enough to learn that he will get through this. Besides, I have seen him get through worse times."
Sydney knew exactly which times he was talking about. She had always heard about how devastated Vaughn was following her death. She remembered how Vaughn himself had described that dark time in his life. Sydney never admitted it to anyone, but she had replayed his words over and over again from that conversation. She didn't know what hurt more.... knowing how much he must have suffered or knowing how he chose to move on from his suffering.
With that, Weiss decided to leave Sydney alone so she could get her thoughts in order. He squeezed her shoulder one last time as a reassuring gesture before walking away. After crossing about half the room, he glanced over his shoulder only to see Sydney still leaning on the doorframe peering into the empty office. Weiss knew that everything was definitely going to be an uphill battle from here on out.
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Vaughn had no idea where he was walking to in CIA headquarters. He just allowed his feet to take him wherever they carried him to. He finally stopped and took in his surroundings. When Vaughn realized where he had gone, he could not think of a more ironic place. He was standing in the shooting range, where just the other day he had come off like such an idiot towards Jack Bristow. Fortunately, the shooting range was empty leaving Vaughn in his own solitude.
At debriefing, Vaughn could not bring himself to make eye contact with anyone in the room, especially not with Sydney. However, he could just imagine the smug look on Jack Bristow's face upon learning that he had been right.
Jack was probably looking back on that conversation thinking to himself, "Well, stupid Vaughn was definitely right when he had said that he wasn't like me because I know damned well I would have taken my advice sooner than he did."
In the distance, Vaughn could hear faint footsteps making their way to the range. He cursed silently to himself realizing that someone must have come down for some target practice. He headed for the exit only to find that the owner of the footsteps belonged to the person he had least wanted to see at that moment.
Vaughn thought to himself, " If there ever was a time for some irony in my life, what better time than now."
"Agent Vaughn, I didn't think I would run into you so soon."
"Well, I guess I could say the same thing for you, Agent Bristow."
Vaughn expected Jack to approach him with an 'I told you so' attitude..... something Vaughn knew he fully deserved. However, Vaughn was surprised to see a glint of sympathy in the older agent's eyes. He must have read his expression incorrectly because it was not possible for Jack Bristow to be feeling sorry for him.
"Agent Vaughn, as you are fully aware, I understand completely what you are going through. I know it all seems a little hard to grasp at the moment, and you want to put yourself down and admonish yourself for not suspecting anything earlier. However, I want you to know that sometimes it is only in hindsight that the signs truly become clear."
Vaughn could not believe what he was hearing. He was anticipating Jack to bash his entire character and take advantage of how careless he had been with his marriage. Vaughn expected Jack Bristow to tell him face to face that it was moments like this that proved how much he didn't deserve to even breathe the same air as Sydney. Despite the logical assumptions, Jack Bristow was standing here in front of him offering his deepest sympathies over the situation. Vaughn knew that the week could simply not get weirder than it already has.
"Jack..... I know that I have not exactly been on your good side most of the time, and I didn't exactly make matters better by falling in love with your daughter. I have made some bad mistakes in my life.... some of which have put some people through unnecessary pain. You and I both know that because of my actions I do not deserve to be forgiven or looked kindly at so easily. I appreciate your attempt at trying to empathize with my situation, but I really do not think I am worth the time or the effort."
Vaughn stopped speaking and tried to compose himself before he continued. His green eyes were misted by emotion as he resumed.
"When I said that I wasn't you.... well let's just say that unfortunately that statement was true, and the reason I say unfortunately is because looking back on it now I don't know how you did it. I don't know how you were able to be placed in such an awkward situation working alongside the woman that had betrayed you and manage to overcome it and still be standing here in front of me in one piece. Granted that some parts of you may still be slightly broken..... you are still standing here intact. I guess what I am trying to say is that right now..... I wish that I was you because at this moment I don't see a light at the end of the tunnel. I don't see how things could possibly get better from this moment forward. I guess all this time you had been right about everything, and I don't just mean about Lauren. You were right about never respecting me and about me not being good enough for your daughter..... you were right."
Vaughn said his last words just above a whisper. He turned his glance to the ground while digging his hands into his pockets. He shifted his weight unsteadily upon his feet sensing how awkward the situation had gotten. Assuming that the silence was a sign that the conversation had ended, Vaughn prepared to walk past Bristow towards the exit.
"Agent Vaughn."
At the sound of Jack's voice, Vaughn came to a slow stop. He turned hesitantly to face the father of the woman he had never stopped loving. He looked at Jack's face unsure of what to expect from him.
"You're right..... you will never be good enough to be with my daughter."
At that statement, Vaughn felt his body sharply intake a breath. He shut his eyes momentarily preparing for the bashing that he had predicted earlier. He reopened them awaiting further insults.
"However, when you become a father, you will realize that...... no one will ever be good enough or perfect enough for your daughter. I am aware of the times that you were there for Sydney, particularly those that I was noticeably absent, and for that I am indebted to you. For this reason, I must learn to accept the fact that you are the closet thing to perfection for my daughter. I highly doubt that I could have settled for anything less."
Vaughn felt his jaw slacken at Jack's obvious words of admiration. He felt his mouth open but was unable to formulate any coherent statement. He could only manage to stare back at the older agent with wide-eyed shock.
"I do, however, have a word of advice for you Agent Vaughn. When I had to handle the effects of Irina's calculated betrayal, I was also unable to see the light at the end of the tunnel. It took me a long time to realize that it was standing in front of me the entire time. The ironic thing is that the light I found is the very same light that you are currently seeking. I hope that you take notice of her sooner than I did."
Vaughn knew full well what or rather who Jack was referring to. However, he highly doubted that she would take him back that easily.
"How can she forgive me for what I've done when I still haven't been able to forgive myself?"
Jack Bristow shot a sympathetic glance at the torn man standing in front of him.
"The only consolation I can give you is that fortunately she will be able to forgive you long before you will be able to forgive yourself."
As those words hung in the air, Jack Bristow walked out of the shooting range allowing the full impact of his words to hit Vaughn. Vaughn soon walked out in the same direction and decided to go to his car. He started the engine and knew exactly where he wanted to go. It was the same place he had been going for the past couple of years to clear his mind. It was the one area where he could feel absolutely calm.
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The waves crashed in the distance as the seagulls flew across the distance. The sun was beginning to set along the horizon giving off a distinct glow. Vaughn leaned on the railing taking in just how important this place was to him.
"You sure are a hard man to find."
Vaughn immediately straightened at the sound of that voice. He turned to face the one person that he wasn't prepared to face just yet. It was apparent that fate had taken away that choice from him, and he had no other option but to confront the individual. He felt himself take a huge gulp before finally saying something.
"Sydney."
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I considered putting in the S/V moment into this chapter but I realized that it would be much more suspenseful if I ended like this. So be prepared next chappy..... definite shippiness is ahead.
______________________________________________________________________________
***Ask and you shall receive.... here is another chapter for all those that asked for it***
Sydney tapped her foot impatiently as Dixon continued to go over the basics of how they should handle themselves in the presence of Lauren. She felt as though all she was hearing was useless information. It seemed ridiculous that she was pulled away from Vaughn just to hear a plan that was so simple a rookie agent would have been able to follow it. All she had to do was make it seem that nothing had changed in the office and make Lauren think that her lie was still working.
Vaughn. That was all that concerned her at that moment. She wanted... no... she needed to go back into the debriefing office and make sure he was okay. She wasn't going to deny it. Vaughn had hurt her in so many ways these past couple of months. From the moment they had kissed just seconds before their execution to the minute he had called her to cancel their coffee date, Vaughn had been nothing but a source of disappointment for her.
So why was she so quick to forgive his actions? Why was she willing to forget everything that had happened to be with him? Deep down, she realized that she already knew the answer. He had always been there for her at her lowest, even when she had tried to push him away. She had turned to men like Noah while Vaughn remained the one constant thing in her life.
He had always put his life on the line for her, even when the rules told him not to. When he sought her out in the train station that night, she knew that he was breaking every single regulation to help her. It was now her turn to return the favor.
Sydney knew fully well that Vaughn was far from perfect, but she knew that she wasn't either.
Once Sydney had placed her attention back on Dixon's lecture, he was on the verge of reaching the end of his meeting. He adamantly urged each one to keep up with the appearances.
"Our behavior should not in anyway deter from its usual routine. Lauren is expected to return to work tomorrow, and I expect your full cooperation in this matter."
With that, he dismissed each of the agents. They all walked in their own separate directions while Sydney knew exactly where she was heading to. Her steps held a certain decisiveness that had not been seen in her for quite some time. Once she reached her destination, she hesitantly placed her hand on the knob and turned it slowly.
"This is only the beginning," she thought to herself.
She opened the door and stepped in only to find the room empty. Her heart sank the moment she realized Vaughn had left the office. She leaned on the doorway and rubbed her forehead. She finally let out a breath not noticing that she had been holding it in this entire time.
"It's going to take time."
She jumped at the voice knowing full well who it was. She turned to its owner and could only manage a small smile.
"I know Weiss.... I just want to be there for him. The other day when you had asked me whether I thought Lauren was the mole or whether I wanted her to be, I realized just how right you were. My head told me that Lauren had to be the mole because all of the signs were there, but my heart told me that Lauren had to be the mole because she was the only thing standing between Vaughn and me. When I recognized those feelings, I felt like I was such a bad person for wishing something like that.... and now seeing Vaughn in the state he's in, I noticed just how selfish I was to have wanted something like this in his life."
Sydney could feel a tear escape her eye as she quickly wiped it away. Weiss looked at his friend and noticed just how hard this situation must be for her. He placed a comforting hand on her shoulder and tried to think of the most comforting thing to say during a moment like this.
"You weren't acting like a selfish person..... you were acting like a person in love. We all know that Lauren was never the one for Mike, even if she hadn't been the mole. It was and will always be you. I guess sometimes you have to go through some difficult and trying times before you can live the life you have always wanted. You should know how it goes by now. The moment you think that everything is fine and perfect is the moment where it stops being that way."
He paused momentarily noticing just how true his last words were. Weiss thought back to how his friend had been experiencing the life he had always dreamed of having when he learned that Mike was planning on proposing to Sydney in Santa Barbara. Of course those plans had taken a turn for the worse.
"Listen, I know Mike, and I know him well enough to learn that he will get through this. Besides, I have seen him get through worse times."
Sydney knew exactly which times he was talking about. She had always heard about how devastated Vaughn was following her death. She remembered how Vaughn himself had described that dark time in his life. Sydney never admitted it to anyone, but she had replayed his words over and over again from that conversation. She didn't know what hurt more.... knowing how much he must have suffered or knowing how he chose to move on from his suffering.
With that, Weiss decided to leave Sydney alone so she could get her thoughts in order. He squeezed her shoulder one last time as a reassuring gesture before walking away. After crossing about half the room, he glanced over his shoulder only to see Sydney still leaning on the doorframe peering into the empty office. Weiss knew that everything was definitely going to be an uphill battle from here on out.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Vaughn had no idea where he was walking to in CIA headquarters. He just allowed his feet to take him wherever they carried him to. He finally stopped and took in his surroundings. When Vaughn realized where he had gone, he could not think of a more ironic place. He was standing in the shooting range, where just the other day he had come off like such an idiot towards Jack Bristow. Fortunately, the shooting range was empty leaving Vaughn in his own solitude.
At debriefing, Vaughn could not bring himself to make eye contact with anyone in the room, especially not with Sydney. However, he could just imagine the smug look on Jack Bristow's face upon learning that he had been right.
Jack was probably looking back on that conversation thinking to himself, "Well, stupid Vaughn was definitely right when he had said that he wasn't like me because I know damned well I would have taken my advice sooner than he did."
In the distance, Vaughn could hear faint footsteps making their way to the range. He cursed silently to himself realizing that someone must have come down for some target practice. He headed for the exit only to find that the owner of the footsteps belonged to the person he had least wanted to see at that moment.
Vaughn thought to himself, " If there ever was a time for some irony in my life, what better time than now."
"Agent Vaughn, I didn't think I would run into you so soon."
"Well, I guess I could say the same thing for you, Agent Bristow."
Vaughn expected Jack to approach him with an 'I told you so' attitude..... something Vaughn knew he fully deserved. However, Vaughn was surprised to see a glint of sympathy in the older agent's eyes. He must have read his expression incorrectly because it was not possible for Jack Bristow to be feeling sorry for him.
"Agent Vaughn, as you are fully aware, I understand completely what you are going through. I know it all seems a little hard to grasp at the moment, and you want to put yourself down and admonish yourself for not suspecting anything earlier. However, I want you to know that sometimes it is only in hindsight that the signs truly become clear."
Vaughn could not believe what he was hearing. He was anticipating Jack to bash his entire character and take advantage of how careless he had been with his marriage. Vaughn expected Jack Bristow to tell him face to face that it was moments like this that proved how much he didn't deserve to even breathe the same air as Sydney. Despite the logical assumptions, Jack Bristow was standing here in front of him offering his deepest sympathies over the situation. Vaughn knew that the week could simply not get weirder than it already has.
"Jack..... I know that I have not exactly been on your good side most of the time, and I didn't exactly make matters better by falling in love with your daughter. I have made some bad mistakes in my life.... some of which have put some people through unnecessary pain. You and I both know that because of my actions I do not deserve to be forgiven or looked kindly at so easily. I appreciate your attempt at trying to empathize with my situation, but I really do not think I am worth the time or the effort."
Vaughn stopped speaking and tried to compose himself before he continued. His green eyes were misted by emotion as he resumed.
"When I said that I wasn't you.... well let's just say that unfortunately that statement was true, and the reason I say unfortunately is because looking back on it now I don't know how you did it. I don't know how you were able to be placed in such an awkward situation working alongside the woman that had betrayed you and manage to overcome it and still be standing here in front of me in one piece. Granted that some parts of you may still be slightly broken..... you are still standing here intact. I guess what I am trying to say is that right now..... I wish that I was you because at this moment I don't see a light at the end of the tunnel. I don't see how things could possibly get better from this moment forward. I guess all this time you had been right about everything, and I don't just mean about Lauren. You were right about never respecting me and about me not being good enough for your daughter..... you were right."
Vaughn said his last words just above a whisper. He turned his glance to the ground while digging his hands into his pockets. He shifted his weight unsteadily upon his feet sensing how awkward the situation had gotten. Assuming that the silence was a sign that the conversation had ended, Vaughn prepared to walk past Bristow towards the exit.
"Agent Vaughn."
At the sound of Jack's voice, Vaughn came to a slow stop. He turned hesitantly to face the father of the woman he had never stopped loving. He looked at Jack's face unsure of what to expect from him.
"You're right..... you will never be good enough to be with my daughter."
At that statement, Vaughn felt his body sharply intake a breath. He shut his eyes momentarily preparing for the bashing that he had predicted earlier. He reopened them awaiting further insults.
"However, when you become a father, you will realize that...... no one will ever be good enough or perfect enough for your daughter. I am aware of the times that you were there for Sydney, particularly those that I was noticeably absent, and for that I am indebted to you. For this reason, I must learn to accept the fact that you are the closet thing to perfection for my daughter. I highly doubt that I could have settled for anything less."
Vaughn felt his jaw slacken at Jack's obvious words of admiration. He felt his mouth open but was unable to formulate any coherent statement. He could only manage to stare back at the older agent with wide-eyed shock.
"I do, however, have a word of advice for you Agent Vaughn. When I had to handle the effects of Irina's calculated betrayal, I was also unable to see the light at the end of the tunnel. It took me a long time to realize that it was standing in front of me the entire time. The ironic thing is that the light I found is the very same light that you are currently seeking. I hope that you take notice of her sooner than I did."
Vaughn knew full well what or rather who Jack was referring to. However, he highly doubted that she would take him back that easily.
"How can she forgive me for what I've done when I still haven't been able to forgive myself?"
Jack Bristow shot a sympathetic glance at the torn man standing in front of him.
"The only consolation I can give you is that fortunately she will be able to forgive you long before you will be able to forgive yourself."
As those words hung in the air, Jack Bristow walked out of the shooting range allowing the full impact of his words to hit Vaughn. Vaughn soon walked out in the same direction and decided to go to his car. He started the engine and knew exactly where he wanted to go. It was the same place he had been going for the past couple of years to clear his mind. It was the one area where he could feel absolutely calm.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The waves crashed in the distance as the seagulls flew across the distance. The sun was beginning to set along the horizon giving off a distinct glow. Vaughn leaned on the railing taking in just how important this place was to him.
"You sure are a hard man to find."
Vaughn immediately straightened at the sound of that voice. He turned to face the one person that he wasn't prepared to face just yet. It was apparent that fate had taken away that choice from him, and he had no other option but to confront the individual. He felt himself take a huge gulp before finally saying something.
"Sydney."
______________________________________________________________________________
I considered putting in the S/V moment into this chapter but I realized that it would be much more suspenseful if I ended like this. So be prepared next chappy..... definite shippiness is ahead.
