I'm baaaack! SO sorry for the delay, I've been busy with other fandoms. Like Doctor Who. And Firefly. And Pirates of the Caribbean. And Sherlock. And lots of other stuff. Anyway, in case this chapter doesn't make it clear, Katriona is normally shy, but occasionally if she's really nervous, she sort of blurts stuff out. Like a mind-vomit. I do that a lot :) Instead of rewriting all the chapters I'm going to edit the three salvageable chapters, guillotine the rest, and then make an appearance from Fury for plot. Cause there really isn't much plot. Well, I've got some of the main stuff in my mental library, but not the in-betweeny bits.
Okay so I was reading over this story and I realized something. I'm a funny chick. Although this is much better than my new little one-shot. Also, I'm cutting Loki, Jane, and Darcy apart from a few background mentions because I'm already juggling eight main-ish characters with distinct personalities not counting the eventual villain. Instead I'm doing Steve/Amber. If you want Loki go read Samhain's Child by... uh... a person? And The Avenging of Natalie Frost by YouLookLikeFOOD. Amazing stories. I love Dark!Loki. If you want Steve/Darcy search for a story called Skipping. Thanks to all of you who gave me sparkly reviews and favorited/followed me :)
Katriona woke up to the sound of an alarm, and immediately got up, glancing at the clock on her bedside table. It was 9:30 in the morning.
"Oh crap, I'm late."
She jumped up and started getting dressed, searching through her closet for the clothes Amber had recommended. Normally she would ask Amber to do her hair, too, but her sister was sleeping off a nasty hangover across the hall and probably wouldn't be up until noon. Katriona settled on a ponytail. She didn't have time to mess around.
She applied some lip gloss, looked in the mirror, and sighed. She looked… okay. Amber would have made her look gorgeous, but... She looked at the clock again. It was 9:55. The interview was supposed to be at 10:00.
"Crap."
Hurriedly she got in the car and drove the twenty minutes to the university, silently cursing herself. Damn it. She'd gone to bed late, because Amber had insisted on having her tell over and over about how Tony Stark had walked into Four and Twenty Paperbacks and asked about some random guy she met at a bar and then Amber had drunk a lot of vodka and rambled on about the Avengers and evil plans to take over the world and how famous Amber was going to be when people discovered her vocal talents, which she'd then demonstrated, despite not remembering any lyrics.
Katriona opened the office door and stopped in her tracks. There was a young woman sitting in her seat, chatting with the principal, who looked up.
"Ah. You must be Ms. Leaf. I'm sorry to tell you that you're too late."
"I know, I'm sorry, but I'm ready to do the interview now," Katriona said. The young woman gave Katriona a once-over and pursed her lips, glancing expressively over the desk.
"You misunderstand. You're too late. Ms. Reilly has already taken the position of creative writing instructor," said the principal, folding his hands.
Katriona's shoulders slumped, and she nodded.
"I understand. I'm sorry for wasting your time."
Slowly, now, she went back down the stairs and through the lobby. The man working at the front desk looked up and smiled.
"Hey, Kat!" he said. Katriona attempted a smile, but the result was so pitiful that it made the man's face fall.
"Oh, come on, I'm not that ugly. I assume they decided not to hire you?"
She nodded forlornly.
"Good. I found something better."
He pushed a newspaper clipping across the desk at her, and she picked it up. It was an advertisement for a lab assistant at Stark Towers. The qualifications started out normal enough: a college certificate, no criminal records. They got steadily stranger.
"Applicant must know at least two languages, including English. Check. Applicant must not have a fear or disliking of animals. Uh… Check. Applicant must not apply for the sake of working in the same tower as the awesome Mr. Stark. Check. Definitely. Why do I get the feeling that Mr. Stark wrote this list?"
The man laughed.
"Well, you do qualify," he pointed out.
"I know. It was nice seeing you, Marcus. When are they interviewing people again?"
Marcus tapped a sentence on the ad.
"Today, from eight to eleven."
Katriona hesitated.
"And, uh, what time is it?"
Marcus glanced at his computer.
"Ten twenty. You better hurry."
She groaned.
"Right. I'm on it. Thanks so much, Marcus!"
Marcus smiled.
"Anything for another homeschooler."
Katriona laughed and waved as she ran to the car. She didn't hear him say, softly:
"Anything for you."
Tony Stark was having an enormous amount of fun. The poor applicants never saw it coming.
"Who's your favorite Avenger? Have you ever wanted to be a supervillain? What's your favorite color? Do you have a tendency to walk into walls?"
All the while he would pretend to take notes, and watch the applicants fidget and overthink their answers. At intervals, he yelled: "NEXT!"
It wasn't just for fun he was doing this though. No, Bruce needed a lab assistant, and he needed one who wouldn't panic every time he Hulked out or made something explode and would remind him to eat and sleep, like Pepper did for him.
So far, none of the applicants came even close to the image Tony had in his head. To be fair, it was an extremely idealistic image. There probably wasn't a person in the world that would joke with Tony, be nice to Bruce, and could speak what Clint called Geekish, as well as be tolerably pretty. He wasn't going to let any eyesores into HIS tower.
"NEXT!" he yelled, not looking up from his notebook. There was a pause, and then the door opened, quietly, just enough to let a girl slip through. Tony gave her a once-over. Pretty, brunette, early twenties, in an outfit that was reasonably fashionable but didn't call attention to her, a ponytail, and slip-on shoes that made hardly any noise as she sat down. So far, so good.
"So, who's your favorite Avenger?" he asked. The girl smiled.
"Um, I can never decide. You're all pretty awesome. It would be really cool to meet the Hulk, though. I wonder if he's smart and is just bad with language. Or maybe those rumors about him having a human alter ego are true, in which case that guy would be cool to meet too."
Tony's eyebrows shot up. One point for the brunette.
He made a note. An actual note. Well, a mental note.
"What's your favorite color?"
"Green. Um, why?"
For fun.
"It's for my statistics."
"Riiight."
She sounded skeptical. Good. She wasn't someone who was easily intimidated by celebrities or awesome billionaire genius playboy philanthropists who were superheroes in their spare time.
"Anyway. Have you ever wanted to be a supervillain?"
"No, but my sister has. Does that count?"
That was an… interesting… answer.
"Do you have a tendency to walk into walls?"
The girl looked at him.
"Are you making these up off the top of your head?" she demanded.
Tony gave her an odd look.
"Of course I am," he said, as if she were an idiot. His face was completely serious.
She laughed.
"I figured. Did you write the ad, too? The qualifications were extremely interesting."
"Hello? I'm the interviewer, here," said Tony. He liked this girl. She would be good for Bruce. "You never answered my question."
"Yes, but only when I'm walking and reading at the same time and I'm not used to the surroundings."
Tony coughed to hide a snicker.
"Do you consider yourself a nerd?"
"I consider myself a cool nerd," she informed him.
That was possibly the best answer he'd gotten all day.
"You're hired."
The girl's eyebrows shot up.
"Um, you haven't even asked me my name yet."
Tony frowned.
"I haven't?"
The girl shook her head.
"Then what's your name?"
"Katriona Numair. Please don't laugh."
Behind the girl Tony saw Bruce come into the room.
"Tony, are you finished yet? It's eleven. Please tell me you didn't just hire the first pretty girl that walked in."
"No, I hired the third pretty girl that walked in," said Tony. He turned to Katriona.
"Can you make lattes? I'm fond of lattes."
"Uh, yeah. My sister likes lattes, too."
She seemed determined not to turn around.
"Katriona?" said Bruce, in a tone of utter surprise. Katriona turned around.
"Oh, so it is you!"
Tony looked from Katriona to Bruce and back.
"Do you two know each other?" he asked, with a grin.
"Briefly," said Bruce. "Remember that nightclub we went to last night?"
He considered the question.
"Not very well, no."
Katriona snickered, hastily choking it off when they both looked at her.
Bruce rolled his eyes.
"Of course not. Anyway, that's where I met her."
Tony stared for a moment, then let out a whoop of laughter.
"Oh my god! I knew I recognized her! She's the bookstore clerk!"
"Wait, Dr. Bruce Banner?" said Katriona, sitting up. She looked admiringly at Bruce.
"I've read some of your papers on gamma radiation. I was going through a physicist phase."
Tony pointed at her.
"See! That's why I hired her."
"Um, if you don't mind me asking, what does Dr. Banner have to do with the Avengers?" asked Katriona, hesitantly. There was a silence, and Tony and Bruce exchanged a glance. Katriona seemed to be thinking about it.
"Wait a minute. Tell me if I'm wrong, but is he the guy who turns into the Hulk?"
Bruce immediately stiffened, looking wary. Katriona looked from Tony to Bruce.
"Okay, so nobody denied it. Oh my god."
Her eyes had gone huge.
Bruce turned to Tony.
"This is why I thought this was a bad idea."
"Nonsense! She's perfectly fine."
Katriona sat back in her chair and watched.
"I don't need a lab assistant."
"She isn't really a lab assistant. She's more of an organizer and professional coffee-getter and Bruce's-pants-finder, but lab assistant sounds cooler."
"It doesn't matter! I don't want anyone in danger!"
"Who says she's in danger? You're always calmest in your lab."
"She could be a spy like Natasha!"
"We'll get Natasha to check her out, make sure she is who she says she is, don't worry."
"She isn't going to want to be a lab assistant for the Hulk."
There was a loud slam, and both boys looked up, to see that Katriona had brought a ruler down on the desk with some force.
"When do I start?" she asked Tony. Her voice was firm.
"Tomorrow. At eight."
"I'll see you two at eight tomorrow. Goodbye."
And with that she picked up her purse and left, closing the door gently behind her. There was an odd, nervous giggle from the other side of the door and then receding footsteps.
There was a stunned silence, and Tony looked at Bruce with one eyebrow raised.
"Ten bucks says she'll be indispensable by the end of the week."
"Done."
