Taken me a bit to update, Thank you everyone for sticking with it. I own none of these characters...
Everyone but Bernadette and Amy are gathered at apartment 4A waiting to go out for dinner. Penny and Sheldon are using the time to further their efforts on the present for Amy.
"OK Bernadette and Amy are coming soon so we have to make this quick." Penny tells the everyone handing them each a sheet of paper. "We need for each of you to get them into one of the following poses, then agree to a picture."
"I don't know, I tried some of these angles when I was a bachelor, and believe me saying." How about you put on this cheerleader outfit and let me take pictures of you" has never worked for me in the past." Howard tells Penny looking over the list.
"Yes, but now your a happily married man and not a super creepy loser with a camera." Penny tells him.
"I bet I can get Amy to do some of the under the guise of a fun with flags episode. In fact I think I already have a picture on my computer of her in both a cheer leader outfit and one of her dressed as a catholic school girl"
"Hang on, I remember the cheerleader one, that was from the "Rah Rah, Flags and team spirit" episode. When did she dress as a catholic school girl that not even on the list." Leonard asks him curiously.
"Not important." Sheldon says guiltily "So who else has ideas on how Penny and I can make the perfect secret Santa gift for both our people."
"So you have Bernadette!" Emily exclaims.
"I never said that." Sheldon say trying to skirt the issue.
"You said Penny and I..." Raj begins
"Alright alright, the cats out of the bag, yes I have Bernadette, and yes I decided to piggy back on Penny's idea for Amy after Penny informed me that my first gift choice was inappropriate."
"What did he get her?" Howard asks Penny and she begins to answer but Sheldon cuts her off.
"Its a moot point now, I already returned it to the store! Lets just drop this discussion alright."
"He got her a bra." Penny says laughing, and Howard looks at him angrily and Sheldon throws his hands in the air.
"Its not what you think! Amy told me once that Bernadette would benefit in her career if she could minimize her bosom. I misinterpreted her comments and bought her a bust minimizing brazier. Penny has now pointed out to me what was wrong with both Amy's comment, and my purchase."
"I'll say Bernadette and bust minimizing that's sacrilege." Emily says and the gang all looks at her curiously except for Raj who says proudly.
"Thats just one of the reasons that I love this girl!" and kisses her on the cheek.
"Well I guess that is it everyone knows who everyone has now." Leonard says
"Not exactly, I am not telling who I have and I have no clue who has me and I would like to keep it that way." Emily says.
"Yeah, and I still do not know who Amy has, she wont tell me she says I can't keep a secret." Penny says rolling her eyes.
"Well, you are notoriously bad at keeping your mouth shut." Leonard tells her.
"Agreed." Sheldon tacks on and the rest of the group nods their heads.
Just then the door to the apartment opens up and Amy and Bernadette walk through the door. Everyone tries to hastily hide the sheets of paper in their hands.
"What are you guys doing?" Amy asks.
"They were just helping me rehearse for a play." Penny says casually
"A play, I thought you weren't acting anymore now that you have the new job. I mean do you really have have to dedicate to a play right now with your work commitments.?" Bernadette asks.
"It is not a big play, it is just a small thing I am doing you know so my acting chops do not get rusty in case I ever want to get back into it."
"OOOh a play! Which one and can we help too?" Amy asks hopefully.
"Its Peter Pan, and no, all the roles have been cast already." Penny says shrugging her shoulders.
"You mean you are rehearsing Peter Pan and never once thought of asking me to be Tinkerbell?Small, blonde and bossy? it is the role I was born to play!" Bernadette tells her
"Umm in this one all Tinkerbell does is make tinkling sounds ." Penny tells her
"Can we stop arguing about casting roles in a play that none of us are actually performing in and lets get a move on I am hungry." Penny looks at him gratefully.
Later the group is all assembled at a restaurant eating a meal together.
"Man it is weird having to get one of the big tables to eat at, I remember back when it was just the four of us eating." Leonard reminisces pointing at Howard, Raj, Sheldon and himself.
"Yeah, back when we were dorks without girlfriends." Raj says wrapping his arm around Emily.
"Now your just a dork with a girlfriend." she says smiling him indulgently.
"Hey, I was thinking Christmas is next week and I would really like to host the part at my place." Raj says
"Really? your place is kind of small and you don't even really celebrate Christmas.I mean your place isnt even decorated for Christmas is it?" Penny says.
"Fine, we will have it at Leonard and Sheldon's like we always do. But I should at least get to plan the party and help decorate." Raj says
"Raj, you can plan the whole confounded thing just keep me out of it." Sheldon tells him.
Later in the week Sheldon and Penny are in her apartment looking at pictures on her computer.
"How in the world did you get Amy to agree to some of these?" Sheldon asks her
"Same way you get her to agree to things for you, I batted my eyelashes and said please." Penny says drawing out the please and pouting her lips.
"I certainly never made a face like that." Sheldon tells her rolling his eyes "I like this one." He says pointing out a picture of Amy playing her harp wearing a black dress.
"That one was easy to get I just had to ask if she wanted a best friend sing along night. Which is something she has been begging me to do since we became friends anyway. I thought we could photo shop her on a stage, you know like a solo performance."
"Like this?" Sheldon asks working on his computer for a couple of minutes then showing Penny the finished product that makes it look as though Amy is performing at Carnegie hall.
"Right idea, wrong stage, we need something smaller." Sheldon works again and shows Penny the new picture that makes it look like Amy is playing in a puppet theater. Penny just looks at him hard and he laughs breathy.
"I was just kidding you." he says then works again and shows Penny the finish product which is perfect, it looks just like if Amy were playing at a school talent show.
"That is amazing, I must say you are pretty talented with Photoshop." Penny tells him
"Yes, I am pretty skilled at it, although I must tip my hat to Wolowitz he is even better than I am. There was a point in his life where he could use Photoshop to make it look like he as having coitus with almost any actress. He was also very skilled at grafting his face onto muscular bodies. There must have been many a disappointed lady who met him form his dating website."
"I'd wager all the ladies were pretty disappointed Penny says and Sheldon laughs again
"Yes, I would say to which brings me to my next topic of conversation, what do do with Bernadette?"
"Well we have the one of them dressed like cheerleaders, and the one of you and Wolowitz dressed up like foot ball players. Then thee are superlatives I made her and Howard 'Most likely to get married" and you and Amy are "Cutest couple."
"That is very well, but I think we did something to showcases her individual talents like the one with Amy and her harp."
"I got it! we make her "Most likely to rule the world"
"I think Howard would agree that she already rules his world, with her tiny iron fist." Sheldon says looking at Penny out of the corner of his eye.
"You are just full of zingers today aren't you?" Penny says looking at him impressed
"Yes, I have been trying, but in all seriousness, I think we need something that highlights her talents in science or something else she is proud of."
"That is a great idea, so what else is she proud of?" Penny muses taping her stylus on her tablet
"Oh I have no idea, that is for you to come up with." Sheldon tells her and she throws him a look.
"So I have to ask, what is the big surprise that is going to wow the pants off of Emily." Howard asks Raj as they eat lunch together at the university.
"That is for me to know and you to never find out." Raj tells him smugly "Or rather to find out in a few days when I reveal it in front of everybody at the Christmas party." he amends bending down to eat his lunch.
"You sure you don't want to run it by us, I mean even Sheldon caved and ran his gift by us." Leonard tells him.
"No, I do not want to ruin the element of surprise by everyone knowing what is is gong to be before the big reveal." Raj tells him looking guilty and fixing his gaze on his plate.
"He's got squat." Howard says gleefully reading the expression on his face.
"Not squat! I actually had the best idea ever of making it snow right here in Pasadena! Emily has lived her whole life here and has never seen the snow so I was going to bring the snow to her." Raj tells him defensively.
"So what happened with that idea?" Leonard asks.
"Did the snow dance your people do not work?" Howard asks laughing.
"First off, that's wildly racist dude, second wrong type of Indian, and third turns out the machines you rent to make the snow are actually pretty pricey." Raj tells them.
"Since when do you care about money? Your Dad probably takes a bath in tens and twenties to open up his pores." Howard says.
"Ever since the divorce my parents have been tightening my purse strings. I mean I have had to cut my maid down to just once a week, like a savage." Raj says sadly.
"Aww, Poor baby." Leonard says sarcastically.
"I know, and that's not the worst part." Raj says.
"Whats the worst part?" Howard asks.
"Emily was going on and on last night about how with her group of friends this secret Santa thing is all about gag gifts. That she is worried the gift she got her person will be taken the wrong way, in light of the thoughtful one Penny and Sheldon are doing but is too late now to return it."
"Who does she have?" Leonard asks.
"She still wont tell me, she only say that she knows that I will laugh." Raj says shrugging his shoulders.
"I still don't see why that is the worst part." Howard says.
"Don't you see, if I giver her a thoughtful gift in front of everybody knowing that she gave a gag gift, then she will think I was being a jackass on purpose."
"You are a Jackass." Howard tells him.
"Yes, but not on purpose!" Raj moans.
"So just don't give her anything like she wanted originally and problem is solved." Leonard says shrugging his shoulders.
"You just don't get it!" Raj wails getting up and stomping away and angrily tossing his tray into the trash while Howard and Leonard look on bemused.
"You're right he is a jackass." Leonard tells Howard.
