3. At The Mercy Of The World

Elsa had a lot on her mind as she climbed down the castle steps. Not the least of which was Sebastian; who was waiting for her in the dark at the bottom of the steps. His smile seemed to be lighting the air around him, however, as Elsa could see him perfectly.

She was also aware that she had bigger problems than the man standing before her. She'd had a long day. Even though her horse race with Edvin had felt so short, it took a better part of the morning. They didn't return from their little excursion until late afternoon.

Upon returning, Elsa settled down in her room with a book (a thoughtful gift from Prince Sebastian). Soon, though, her mind began to wander. Something about the day had made her very uneasy. It wasn't Sebastian, or Edvin. Actually, it was Balder who made her stomach tight with anxiety.

There was something she'd realized moments after Balder fell through the ice and began to moan: it was just like Ingrid's dream.

It helped confirm something she already knew: something was...different about Ingrid. This wasn't the first time one of Ingrid's nightmares came true. This information was kept from Ingrid; but it made her parents as afraid of the nightmares as she was. Of course, these nightmares could also be coincidences. But Elsa was starting to worry….

"I have a surprise for you." Sebastian told her when she reached him, his hazel eyes sparkling.

"You have a surprise for me?" Elsa repeated, temporarily shelving her worries. "It's rather indecent, always surprising me in the night, don't you think?"

"This will be worth it." Sebastian insisted. He put his hand on the small of her back, causing her to draw a sharp breath of surprise, and guided her through the courtyard.

His hand was a light, warm pressure on her back. He indicated direction with a light tap of his fingers or the heel of his hand.

He lead her up through one of the guard towers and they emerged on the curtain wall, overlooking the sleeping town. She stopped in shock when she saw what the surprise was.

A small bistro table with two chairs was set up on the pathway. On the table was a branch of candles and two plates of her favorite dish: smoked Northern Salmon with seasoned asparagus.

"How did you…?" She asked, awestruck, as she sat down in the cherrywood chair he pulled out for her.

"Turns out, your niece can be very helpful in exchange for candy." Sebastian grinned. From her chair, she had a perfect view of Arendelle and the fjord. The candlelight cast a warm glow over the table and highlighted his sharp facial features.

"This is gorgeous." She breathed, staring over the curtain wall. The water reflected pinpoints of light from the exceptionally starry night. Luminescent teal streaks lit the sky; weaving about through the stars. Elsa grew up seeing these things through her window, but she had yet to grow tired of the sight.

"Mhmm." Sebastian hummed in agreement. Elsa tore her gaze away from the scenery to look at her companion. His chin was resting on his hand, eyes glistening in the candlelight as he watched her attentively.

Elsa hoped it was too dark for him to see her blush.

She had no idea what made him stare at her so. After a long day she'd traded out her riding outfit for something more casual. She now wore a simple, black dress that ruffled at the knee with a turtle necked. black and gold shawl thrown over it. In her eyes, it was nothing special.

But still he stared.

"I wanted to thank you," Elsa told him, shifting under his relentless gaze, her stomach feeling warm and tingly, "For the book."

"It's another one of my favorites." He smiled softly, "I thought you'd enjoy it."

"I am. Immensely." She gushed.

"You've started reading it already?" Sebastian asked, sounding a bit surprised, but nevertheless delighted.

"I had some down time." Elsa drawled, shrugging one shoulder. "But where did you find the time to go through our entire library catalog?"

"I was...motivated." Sebastian said by way of explanation as he cut into his salmon. Elsa took a bite of her salmon and had to stop herself from groaning with satisfaction.

"How did you get the cooks to help you?" She wondered. Sebastian looked at her quizzically and Elsa felt momentarily foolish: Sebastian was so charming she doubted he often heard the word "no".

He surprised her, however, when he said, "Your staff really loves you."

"Eh-what?" The Queen squawked, caught off-guard.

"I simply informed the cook that I was planning a surprise dinner for you. They were more than happy to help."

"Many of them have worked for me since I was a child." Elsa explained. Although, given her childhood, she didn't understand what she could have done to make them love her so, "They're sweet."

"Indeed." Sebastian agreed easily, a grin stretching across his face. "Ingrid refused to leave while they were preparing the meal. They gave her some rolls and let her watch, I got the impression that kind of thing happens a lot."

"Ingrid is...inquisitive." Elsa nodded with a soft smile, "Most people around here like to indulge her."

"She's a rather remarkable child, isn't she?" He asked with genuine kindness and fascination.

"Oh yes, she and Klaus both!" Elsa felt herself relax as she talked about her sister's children. She adored them both; they satisfied her tiny sense of maternal instinct. Honestly, the idea of children made her uncomfortable and afraid. But Ingrid and Klaus won her over. "Ingrid is already learning how to play the harp, you know. And Klaus knows everything about horses, Anna and Kristoff got him a pony for his birthday, he couldn't have been happier if he'd received a palace made of chocolate."

They both laughed for a moment.

"Does it ever bother you that your sister had children before you?" Sebastian asked conversationally. Elsa's face fell instantaneously.

"No! No no no." She denied immediately. Sebastian continued to look at her, waiting for an explanation. Her impulse was to draw back into herself, to cut herself off and not let him in. She'd spent years training herself to resist these impulses.

She told herself that this was part of the getting-to-know-you process. And braced herself.

"I've never been...enthusiastic...about having children." She stated carefully.

"Why not?" Sebastian wondered, leaning closer. Elsa took a moment to evaluate his sincerity before continuing.

"My aunt, Queen Primrose, lost her baby. And by that, I mean physically lost her. She was kidnapped as a child. Eventually they found her," She added quickly, seeing Sebastian's expression, "But Aunt Primrose missed her daughter's entire childhood. She spent 18 years not knowing if her child was dead or alive."

"That's terrible." Sebastian noted gravely. Elsa nodded.

"There are so many things that could happen." Elsa looked away, her breath coming shorter as she went on, "If I have a child, they are completely at the mercy of the world, like Ingrid and Klaus are. My child could be kidnapped or fall ill. I could go sailing and- " Her voice caught and swallowed. Still without looking at Sebastian she composed herself before finishing, "And never come back."

He watched her, eyes full of sympathy.

Elsa couldn't bring herself to tell him about her greatest fear with having children; What if they inherited her curse? What if they couldn't control it? What if people became afraid? What if she became afraid?

Ingrid's nightmares had her parents staying up late at night, talking in hushed voices. Ingrid's ailment both tortured the girl and worried the parents.

Elsa remember how her parents worried, and how that had frightened her even more.

If such a thing happened to her own children…

"Or," Sebastian said finally, her eyes snapped to his, "you could not."

"What?" She asked blankly. She looked down to see that icicles hung from the table where she was gripping it. She quickly peeled her hands away and thawed it before Sebastian noticed.

"I'm just trying to say that one day you could go sailing and be home in time for dinner." He reasoned. Elsa blinked, uncomprehending. He smiled reassuringly, "Elsa, has it ever occurred to you that things might not go wrong?"

"Why wouldn't they go wrong? They always do. " Elsa grumbled, sinking into her seat.

"That's the thing; they don't."

"This is not an argument you are going to win." The Queen huffed.

"Certainly not. Just...think about it."

"You're asking me to believe in happy endings." Elsa pointed out dryly.

"I'm asking you to believe in happiness." Sebastian implored. Elsa's jaw dropped, floored by the accusation.

"I believe in happiness." She informed him stiffly.

"Then what are you so afraid of?"

"I'm not afraid of anything! As much I believe in happiness I know that sadness is real, too." Elsa snapped.

"Why let sadness keep you from happiness?" He inquired. Elsa opened her mouth to argue but snapped it closed.

"You wouldn't understand." She grated at last.

"Oh, I wouldn't understand." Sebastian repeated forcefully, "You're saying I wouldn't understand being unhappy?" He spoke in a cool, measured voice, "My younger brother's a traitor. My oldest brother will be king one day but most of us have no future, and the ones that have chosen their own future are disgraced. We've experience famine and war. You don't have a monopoly on being sad, Elsa. "

Elsa stared, unblinkingly, flabbergasted by his outburst (mild as it was).

"But," He continued in a softer tone, "that means you have just as much chance at being happy as anyone."

She continued to stare.

"Despite all of your...difficulties, you're still happy?" Elsa asked finally.

"Once you decide to stop being sad, you realize there's a lot to be happy about." He confided. He jerked his head to the side and Elsa followed the movement. She once again found herself breathless at the sight of the sleeping village, the stars, and the lights. That in itself, she supposed, was something to smile about.

So she did.


"How romantic!" Anna squealed the next day. She was sprawled across Elsa's bed as Elsa pawed through her armoire, taking inventory.

"What?" Elsa asked. She'd been distracted by a loose thread and honestly lost track of what they were talking about.

"All of it! Two handsome, romantic men taking you out in one day?" She sighed dreamily, staring up at Elsa's blue canopy, "One of them is your true love for sure."

"Yeah?" Elsa replied skeptically, cutting the loose thread and inspecting the rest of the dress, "Which one?"

"I don't know that. You're the only one who can know that." Anna answered as though it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"Anna," Elsa groaned, lying the dress down and flopping onto the bed next to her sister, "You know I don't believe in true love."

"I know. But I believe enough for the both of us." The younger sister patted Elsa's hand sympathetically.

"I just don't think there's one true love out there, waiting for me. I think that some people are more suited for each other than others, and that certain combinations produce happier marriages than others. But true love? No."

"How did you become so cynical?" Anna wondered with a frown.

"How did you…" She cut off.

Elsa often wondered how Anna retained her optimism. Sure, she found her "true love"….on the second tr y. But other than those fairytales in their library, what made her so convinced of true love's power? What exactly kept Anna's heart so open and hopeful?

"I've always been closed." Elsa said out loud, stunned by her own realization.

"Huh?"

"I've always been closed. You've always been open." She slowly sat up, eyes still fixed on the canopy above her.

"What are you talking about?" Anna asked.

"Think about it, Anna. You've been waiting your whole life for someone to love you. And for all of my life, I've been hiding from love."

"Well, yeah." Anna scoffed, relaxing again, "You didn't know that?"

Elsa rolled her eyes and laid back down.

"Let's pretend, just for a minute, that you do believe in true love. What would you say?" Anna pressed.

"I would say…" Elsa thought about it seriously. Her first instinct was to say that she knew neither Edvin nor Sebastian well enough to claim either of them as her true love. But, then again, if there was such thing as true love, and if Elsa believed in it, she wouldn't say such a thing.

"Sebastian is so sweet, and he gets along splendidly with Ingrid. And I daresay Olaf is quite smitten with him." Elsa mused, "And Edvin is fun and adventurous and he understands. But Sebastian understands me in a whole different way."

"So…?" Anna urged, inching closer eagerly.

"So...I don't know!" Elsa groaned, closing her eyes and covering them with her arm. Anna giggled and flopped on top of her older sister. This quickly turned into a dog pile as the door swung open and the twins rushed in and pounced. Their nurse, Alvia (a resilient young woman in her early twenties), stood in the doorway, looking frazzled.

"Oof!" Elsa grunted as her giggly family members piled off of her.

"What are we talking about?" Ingrid asked as they all settled onto the bed.

"We're talking about your Aunt Elsa's true love." Anna offered. Ingrid's face lit up, Klaus rolled his eyes.

"It's that Prince Sebastian, isn't it?" Ingrid squealed.

"No no no." Klaus crossed his arms grumpily.

"Oh." Ingrid muttered, bodily shoving her brother off the bed.

"Hey!" He shouted as he hit the ground. He climbed back on the bed and made a beeline for Ingrid, vengeance in his eyes.

Thankfully, Anna restrained him.

"You just don't want Aunt Elsa to fall in love." Ingrid accused him.

"That's not true!" Klaus argued, struggling to free himself from his mother's grasp, "Mama! I promise I'll behave!" Anna took a moment to consider his plea before releasing him. The boy sunk to the mattress and, true to his word, stayed there. "I just think that if Aunt Elsa marries anyone it should be the Horndale prince."

"I didn't realize you knew Prince Edvin." Anna remarked, looking down at her son in surprise.

"Remember when Papa said I could train Bjarni?" Bjarni was a young greyhound that Klaus had taken a shining to. Kristoff was hoping that letting the five-year-old train the dog would develop a bond so Klaus could use Bjarni as a hunting dog. "I was trying to get him to sit but he wouldn't listen! I was out in the courtyard and Prince Edvin saw me. He showed me how to train Bjarni to sit. Now he can sit and lay down on command. Bjarni, that is, not Prince Edvin." Klaus clarified gravely.

"Well, that was very kind of him." Anna observed cheerfully. Elsa felt her heart melt as she saw Klaus' face, the child's face was full of joy and pride at his accomplishment. An accomplishment that was more than a little (she was sure) helped on by Edvin.

"What's everyone doing in here?" Olaf asked, toddling past Alivia into the room.

"We're talking about Aunt Elsa!" Ingrid squealed happily.

"Oh, of course!" Olaf enthused, clapping his stick hands together. He ran across the room and climbed onto the bed, sitting next to Ingrid.

"Did Prince Sebastian give you the salmon?" Ingrid asked, returning her attention to her aunt.

"Yes." Elsa replied simply.

"And?" Ingrid prodded at a nearly-deafening decibel, practically vibrating with excitement.

"And...it was nice." Elsa admitted.

"Nice? That's it?" Ingrid demanded, nonplussed.

"Well," Elsa sucked in a breath as she considered. Obviously, her night picnic with Sebastian was more than just nice. It had been illuminating and breathtaking and, well, really really nice.

"I heard Papa say that Prince Edvin took her horseback riding." Klaus argued, wrinkling his small nose, "That's way better than yucky salmon."

"Aunt Elsa loves salmon." Ingrid pointed out matter-of-factly.

"She loves horseback riding more." Her brother sneered.

"But there's is something special about Prince Sebastian, isn't there?" Olaf giggled. Everyone paused and looked at Anna, who was suspiciously quiet on the matter.

Anna considered for a moment, then shrugged.

"Aunt Elsa's so pretty. That's why so many boys like her." Ingrid announced, "Can you believe that she never had anyone court her before? And now there's two men that like her. It's like...like…" The little girl frowned in concentration, trying to find the right word to describe it. She looked at Olaf for help.

"I believe it's called a reverse harem ." Olaf informed her.

"Yeah!" Ingrid squealed, delighted.

"Olaf!" Elsa shrieked, clapping her hands of Ingrid's ears while Anna collapsed in a fit of laughter. "You know, that term isn't exactly...appropriate." She told the snowman through a locked jaw. Anna was laughing so hard she snorted.

"Oops!" Olaf clapped his little wooden hands over his mouth, looking properly ashamed. He whispered, "Sorry." And Elsa deemed his apology acceptable. She released Ingrid's head. The five-year-old, fearless and used to strange things happening around her, was completely unruffled by her aunt's attack.

"Anna." Elsa warned her younger sister. The princess covered her mouth, trying to suppress her cackling.

"I don't get it." Klaus pouted. Elsa smiled and patted his red-tufted head affectionately.

"Well, Elsa," Anna piped up at last, Elsa looked at her. "The second ball of the New Spring Celebration is coming up. Who will you ask to accompany you? Prince Edvin or Prince Sebastian?"

The New Spring Celebration consisted of not one, not two, but three balls over the course of four weeks. The first was the opening ball, a modest affair that had taken place only a few days ago. The second ball was grander and warmer, and took place two weeks after the first. Finally, there was the Spring Ball, which was nothing short of extravagant, on the last night of the festivities. Small events took place in between the balls, but the members of the royal family and its staff were often overwhelmed with preparing for the balls.

Elsa bit her lip. In a reality, there was no escaping the fact that she'd end up going to the Mid-Spring Ball with one of them. The questions, as Anna had already posed, was which one?

"That is still more than a week away." Elsa replied at last, "I'm not worried about it."

This was a lie.

What if she asked Edvin or Sebastian to the ball, and they rejected her? What if she went with one and offended the other.

Elsa, has it ever occurred to you that things might not go wrong?

Sebastian's voice clanged in her mind.

She'd spent her entire life living in fear: fear that people would discover her secret, fear of what they would do, fear that she might hurt someone. Was there really another way to live? Perhaps things weren't as bad as she always feared. Maybe, like Sebastian had said, she could find things to be happy about instead of anxious.

Hm. Maybe. Just maybe…


"Aunt Elsa?" A small voice asked. A finger poked her face as Elsa was started for her sleep. She blinked several times, her eyes adjusting to the darkness of her bedroom. She looked down and saw a familiar shape form in the darkness.

Klaus, still in his nightshirt, straddled her knees.

"Klaus? What's wrong?" She lit the oil lamp next to her bed, the light casting eerie shadows across the floor.

"Aunt Elsa, what's wrong with Ingrid?" He asked gravely.

"What?" Elsa's mind went blank with shock. Ice spread, unbidden, from her hands, freezing the entire mattress. The ice traveled up the banisters of her bed and frost coated the canopy. The nightstand by her bed and the lamp were also covered in spiked, angry-looking ice crystals.

All of which occurred in less than a moment.

Klaus looked around curiously, Elsa tried her hardest not to lose control around the twins. And she'd been very good about it….until today.

"What about Ingrid?" Elsa pressed, trying to master her emotions.

"Well," Klaus sat back, unperturbed, "She cries and says things in her sleep, you know. She comes to find you when she has nightmares. But sometimes, she doesn't come get you. Sometimes she makes sounds, and falls back asleep. Then she doesn't remember it in the morning." He crossed his arms and cocked his head to the side, his wide eyes were more serious than Elsa had ever seen them, "Last night she kept shouting something. It was worse than normal. She just kept saying the sa me word over and over again. But then, today, she acted normal."

"Klaus, there is nothing wrong with your sister." Elsa told him soothingly.

"Then why does she have those nightmares all the time?" He asked, face giving way to sadness. He also was burdened by his sister's malady.

"You know that sometimes people can do things that other people can't do."

"Like you?"

"Yes, like me. And that's nothing to be afraid of. Your sister can see things that other people can't see." She gathered her nephew into her arms and continued, "But she'll be okay."

She didn't want to lie to him. If she was, in fact, lying. She tried to take Sebastian's words to heart. Maybe Ingrid wouldn't experience the same struggled that Elsa had. Ingrid was such a happy child. But, then again, so was Elsa, at one point.

Elsa, has it ever occurred to you that things might not go wrong?

"You don't have to be afraid of her." She continued.

"I'm not afraid of her." Klaus responded forcefully. Elsa held him tighter, a tear making its way down her cheek.

Klaus and Ingrid were inseparable. The twins had obviously been very close since birth, Elsa hoped they would continue to stay that way. They were both resilient and funny and brave. And yet, Ingrid was the only one with nightmares; leaving her twin to watch her suffer.

"It's not fair. For either of you. I know it isn't. But they're only nightmares." She told him. Anna and Kristoff had decided that it was best to keep Ingrid's nightmares a secret for now, there were only suspicions to prove that they were anything more than just dreams. Elsa's intuition, however, told her it was something more. In any case, she wouldn't say anything against her sister's wishes. "What was it that she kept saying?"

"Crow." Klaus croaked.

"Crow?" Elsa repeated. She pursed her lips together and nodded, telling him lightly, "Crows are scary."

"Yeah."

"I know I'd be screaming if I was dreaming about crows." Elsa squeezed him for a moment, smiling.

"Me too."

"But, see? They're only dreams. Nothing to be scared of." She began to rock him back and forth.

"I had a dream I was riding a whale once!" Klaus exclaimed.

"Oh, a whale?" Elsa laughed.

"Uh huh. And it...it was swimming but it could also go on land."

"Oh my."

"Aunt Elsa? I want a whale." He yawned.

"I'll see what I can do. I don't know if your parents will like it."

"As long as I get a whale, I'll be happy. But he has to walk on land." Klaus said quietly.

"Of course." Elsa agreed easily.

Elsa held him to her, rocking gently back and forth, until he fell asleep against her.


Hey there! Link to Elsa's dress is on my profile!

Don't forget to review!

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