AN: These are not my characters.

Spoilers: takes place after the tent in Eclipse.

Chars: Bella, Jacob, Edward

Bella, look at me, Edward said quietly, then more forcefully.

You have to tell me what's going on. Ever since that night with Jacob, you haven't been the same, he said.

Bella looked down, then up at the ceiling, then the wall counting the sockets—pretty much anywhere but Edward's glowing amber eyes. She was trying her best not to think of how she desired Jacob pretty much all the time now.

Alice mentioned that she thought you were confused, but she wouldn't say anymore than that.

Thank god for small favors. Alice has to know by now, thought Bella. And if she told Edward, it'd be over. But she knew it was only a matter of time before the truth emerged.

Bella sighed loudly, then took Edward's chilly hand, placing its back against her warm cheek.

You know you're my first love, don't you Edward?, she queried. And that there'll never be a first love like ours again?

Of course, my dear, he whispered. When I met you, I finally knew what love meant. After so long.

And if you truly love me, you'll want what's best for me, right, Edward?, she continued.

He nodded slowly, narrowing his eyes.

Another big sigh. Well I discovered that I really like human love, and that, more specfically, I love love with…

He dropped his head. With Jacob, he finished. You love Jacob. He turned to look at the panorama outside his bedroom window. He suddenly wanted to fly away, above the pine tops.

Bella knit her brow, and tears welled in her eyes. She twisted her bracelet one way, then the other, fingering the heart, then the wolf.

You don't know how much this is killing me, Edward, and not in a good way, she joked.

But I had this vision of me and Jake, and… and our children. Two of them, a boy and a girl. Fast runners. Beautiful. And ours.

She paused, bit her lip.

When I cross over, I can never have children. Right?, she asked, raising an eyebrow, as a tear rolled down her cheek.

He slumped, breaking his normally perfect posture.

No. Of course not. But we could… we could "make" one, if you like. What age is ideal? Eight? Six? Because you'd have to really like the child that age, since it'd be for…

For eternity? God, I would never do that to a child! To deprive them of the pain and agony of adolescence, anyway! She forced a crooked smile, which erased immediately.

And the truth is I'd been denying that besides loving you, I love Jacob. That it is possible to love two at once, even if it's hard. But it doesn't make me love you any less, it's just… a different kind of love.

Go on, Edward said. I'm all ears.

She thought hard. You're like the most perfect person—the romantic ideal, like in some Jane Austen novel, or Wuthering Heights. God, what girl wouldn't totally want to be with you, all dashing and incredibly smart and considerate beyond comprehension?

So my brain wants you with all its might, and then some.

Whereas with Jake, it's like my brain shuts off, and my human body takes over. And it makes me really happy to just be with Jake, breathe the same air, feel his warmth.

Edward pulled away.

It's that, isn't it? He's warm. And you, you're like a cold-blooded lizard to begin with, all skinny and low blood sugar and all. He just keeps you warm. And with that he began to laugh, wanting to believe that was all.

Yes. Well, no. I mean… Bella stammered. That's part of it. The fact is, the love part, the making of the… love… the…

Edward completed her sentence. The sex. You liked the sex.

No, Bella said, taking a deep breath. I didn't like it. I love it. She blushed.

Edward blanched, if it was possible to go even paler.

And even after I change, it will never be like that between you and me, because first of all it will be cold, second of all you may leave holes all over my neck even if I'm already dead, and third, we can never have kids.

Edward slumped even further, lying face down on his unused bed.

Cullen, say something, Bella implored. Anything. Don't punish me.

Nothing.

She began crying harder now, more confused than ever. She lay down next to him, burying her wet face in his corduroy shirt, feeling his cold radiate through the fabric.

Cold to begin with, and now the cold shoulder. Her body heaved with sobs.

He finally rolled onto his side, not looking at her directly. I think you should go. Please, he said.

Don't do this, Edward. I still love you beyond comprehension. My heart is in pain over this. Do you remember what that's like?

They lay there for a good half hour in silence, other than Bella's loud sniffles.

Finally, she spoke, thinking she had nothing to lose at that point. What would you think if we were to work out some sort of agreement where I could be with Jacob and have our children, and then I would change?

Oh Bella, he said sadly. I knew I never should've gotten involved with you, that doing so would jeopardize your normal life. But love hit me like a tornado, and I felt I had to seize it or I'd never experience it again.

NO! Don't say that, Edward, she cried. I didn't have a life before you!

The irony is, if it hand't been for you leaving me for that year, I wouldn't have gotten so close to Jake. He saved me, you know that. I was, like, dead, spiritually. He brought me back to life.

Edward's face relaxed; in a way, he felt relieved that it was finally out. You're right about that. It's all my fault.

She could only stare at him, her eyes rimmed in red, her face blotchy.

God, love, you're a mess. She managed a hint of a smile.

Look I need to be alone, Bella. Need to think about everything. So perhaps you should go home.

She cradled his face, kissing him gently, but not passionately.

Alright, she said. Tomorrow.

She got in her truck, tears still flowing steadily, as Edward kissed her through the open window.

At the end of the driveway, she stopped, wiping away tears until they finally stopped flowing.

She checked her phone. Ordered pizza. U hungry? J., a text said.

She dialed Jake. I'm coming over now, she said, heading toward La Push. I'm starving. Oh, and we need to talk about the future.

She could feel Jake beaming over the phone.