After the clinic hours John was sitting in the break room, absent-minded, browsing through yesterday`s paper. There was nothing of interest there, as the had not been for a while at least mystery-wise. The last time he and Sherlock – well, to be honest mostly Sherlock – had given a helping hand to the police force was nearly a month ago. Even John started to be a bit bored, so he could only imagine how the much more restless part of the duo was doing.

He was interrupted from his thoughts by Sarah.

"John? What are you still doing here, I thought you finished ages ago?"

It was still somehow odd between them, not awkward but it always felt to John there were unsaid words lingering in the air whenever they were in a room alone. He had never been quite able to figure out why it hadn´t worked between them; she was an attractive, intelligent woman who shared many of his interests and seemed to understand him. He liked her, and when they had started dating two years ago, he had gotten the impression she had liked him as well. Of course there was the incident in which she nearly got herself killed, but that couldn´t have been the reason why their dates fell more and more scarce and she more and more distant. Then one day she had told him with a quiet, almost apologetic voice that she thought they should only be friends and nothing more. When John had inquired the reason she had just mumbled something about different priorities, and John had let it be.

"Sarah, hi. I´m just resting my brains a bit, am off soon."

He stopped, not knowing how to continue, He had never been a man of words when it came to women, and the history between them didn´t make it any easier for him.

"How´ve you been, then?"

The question was a bit useless, given the last time they talked was in the morning when organising the shifts for next week.

Sarah looked at him and smiled. She looked tired.

"All good, John. And yourself?"

John was about to answer something mundane, but stopped himself before speaking. How was he, actually? Lately he´d felt restless and like something was amiss; he had chalked it off to lacking interesting things to do. But that wasn´t true at all as he did have those, at least to the extent he was accustomed to. John was not like Sherlock, he didn´t need a murder to keep himself content. So it was something else, but he couldn´t quite put his finger on what. It almost felt he was missing out on something, yearning for something he couldnt quite reach – but what?

"Sarah, I .. You wouldn`t want to have a drink, would you?" He felt he needed to talk with someone.

someone normal

Sarah looked at her and he thought she seemed a bit surprised, but in a good way. He could have imagined it as well, of course.

"Now?" She looked at him, squinted her eyes a bit as if trying to figure out where his suggestion was coming from. "Alright John, we´ll have a drink."


As they sat down in the corner table of the small pub close to the clinic and ordered their drinks, the vagueness John had felt earlier seemed to have dissipated a bit. He felt relaxed, and in the dim light he realized how pretty Sarah actually was. They had a nice night, chatted about light things, shared some laughs and got a bit tipsy. The atmosphere was good, they were enjoying each other´s company, everything seemed all right in the world.

It was John´s abrupt question, thrown in the air in a seemingly nonchalant way which finally shook the smoothness a bit.

"Sarah, what happened between us? Why didn´t we work out?"

She looked at him, surprised look in her face second time that night, and smiled a smile which had a hint of sadness in it.

"Why do you ask this now, John? It has been a really long time."

They both knew he wasn´t trying to recapture an old flame; he was merely interested.

"I don´t know, I guess I.. We.. Well what I mean is that we get along fine, and this is nice.. Was there someone else? I don´t mind, seriously, I´m just intrigued.."

His voice faded off. John wasn´t really good at this kind of conversations, and he scolded himself for starting one in the first place. What did it matter anymore?

Sarah just kept looking at him, smiling that small smile of hers. She took her time to reply, and when she finally did her voice bore the same melancholy as her expression.

"I guess there was John, now that you asked.. I guess there really was someone else involved. That´s why it never could have worked between us."

She looked at him, and her eyes were very clear and calm. They shared a moment like that, John trying to figure out how her confession made him feel – they weren´t serious at the time, but still, it stung much more than he would have expected to hear that she had had someone else.

"Well, that was honest."

He glanced at his watch and cleared his throat.

"I guess I should be going then, it´s getting late.. "

He knew he was behaving childishly he had asked, after all, he should have been prepared for an unwanted answer as well - but didn´t actually care so much in that point. The alcohol in his veins amplified all his emotions, and the sting he felt over the other man got much more emphasis in him than it would have in a normal situation.

Sarah just kept her calm eyes on her as he got up and put his jacket on.

"Well, good night then, I´ll see you at the clinic on Thursday.. Thanks for your company, it was lovely..."

Sarah smiled an odd, gentle smile.

"John..."

"Hm?" A bleep in his pocket informed that a text message had been received.

"It wasn´t me who had someone else, it was you."

John knew he looked confused. "Me? But I wasn´t seeing anyone else at the time!"

Sarah shook her head, got up as well and walked to him. "No, you were living with someone."

She kissed him on the cheek and left, leaving him standing there in an utter bewilderment.

Sherlock? What?

He took his phone from his pocket and looked at the white letters glowing on the dark background.

"Please come.

SH"