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The Ace Princess and the Superhero Pirate
By Bren Ren
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Part Three:
Someone Who Loves You
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Summary: Continuing my trek through the Han&Leia/CLois SuperSmallvilleMan/Star Wars parody, picking up where Lois goes to the ends of the earth to save frozen-in-the-PhantomZone-Clark, abandoning the Zod-Rebellion forces until she brings Clark home.

Rating: Silly. I mean All Audiences Approved General Admission

Disclaimer: Still parodying. Still protected by free speech and fair use rights. Still not making a dime. Still wishing you guys would just hire me already!

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"It's only a window, Lois," Chloe bit out in frustration. "It's not a portal. You can't go through it, you can only look through it."

"So tear open the shutters and throw up the sash!" Lois snapped back in agitation.

"I'm working as fast as I can. I maybe be an uber-technophile, but my knowledge of Kryptonian technology is relatively microscopic. And don't forget the fact that I had to hike nearly two dozen miles in the snow just to get here, since Clark couldn't seem to manage more than one passenger on his maiden voyage through the stratosphere." Chloe's patience was running thin with the newest addition to the Super-club. Clark's demands already had her tasked to the max, and now that he was MIA, Lois had taken up the torch and poured rocket fuel all over it.

Movement in the background visible through the Phantom window caught Lois's eye, and she turned to see Clark fast approaching with… something—a very vicious looking something hot on his heels. The non-corporeal creature created a hailstorm of gravel and debris as it lunged into Clark. Literally—Clark's entire body was enveloped in some sort of wispy, smoky vaporous cloud. Big… dark… heavy… black.

"Chloe! Hurry it up! He's being attacked!" Bruises and scrapes and scratches were welting all over his flesh, almost as though he were going rounds with an invisible heavyweight boxer—and losing.

A strange humming began building up from deep within the Fortress, and then the window began crackling with electric surges that showered sparks all across the panels of crystals. "Almost there," Chloe shouted over the rumbling. The ground beneath them began to quake. "Almost there!"

Suddenly the entire chamber, window and all, flashed with a Super-white-out. It only lasted a split second, but it left everyone in the room blinded by the light—Chloe, Lois, and—

"Clark!" Lois cried out his name as she felt his familiarly dense weight crashing into her. The two fell to the ground.

"Where am I?" Clark was barely able to choke out a hoarse whisper.

"You're safe. Back in the Fortress," Lois answered as she gently helped Clark sit upright. Her vision was starting to clear, and she could faintly make out the shapes and outlines surrounding her.

"What happened?" Clark's hands, his arms, and, well, all of the rest of him as well were shaking almost violently.

"Zod hijacked the Fortress," Lois explained. "He used it to rob you of your powers, and banished you to the Phantom Zone so he could try to take over the world."

Clark sat up a little straighter and stretched a clumsy, trembling hand towards Lois's face. "Who…? Are you…?"

Lois held his palm against her cheek as she tilted her head toward him. "Someone who loves you," she answered just before closing the distance in a tender, balming kiss.

"How touching." The noxious voice of tall, bald, and KryptoObsessed-scary presumed-dead Lex Luthor caused both Lois and Clark to break off their kiss abruptly. "True love conquers all," Lex sneered as he advanced menacingly toward the freshly reunited lovers.

"Lex?!? " Clark and Lois spat out his name in unison.

"How the hell— " Lois began, but Lex cut her off.

"You know what they say, Lois," Lex jutted in with that smug little smirk he loved to plaster on. Nobody ever stays dead in science fiction. And what else could you call this world full of alien super-powered super-freaks?"

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