AUTHOR'S FIFTH NOTE
This part is freer from the original storyline and tries to fill the gap between the morgue and the scene after. I've written my thoughts on the whole thing in the next author's note. Just want to say that if you don't want to read that, skip it because it ended up quite long. Let's have our daily dose of angst then!
3.
The medics start approaching
They push a sedative into your vein
Maybe they think it makes a difference?
That what they're doing is more humane?
Because they secure you to the stretcher
Strap you to the metal bars by your hands and feet
No, they won't take any risks with madmen
Even those disarmed by a doctor's heat
They bring you to the elevators
Up and into a large patient room
Dress you in standard sterile clothing
Those scrubs in which humans await their doom
Why do they fasten the straps again?
Did he make them keep you restrained?
What if you can't move when he comes?
The killer is going to be so entertained
You're trying to find a solution
Locking yourself up in your consciousness
Trying to discuss with John as usual
But the response is just... silence...
Behind the mask rises the panic
In your head it screams loud and wild
And you hate that you actually understand
What can make a grown man cry like a child
A door is slowly opening
You quickly shut your eyes
This isn't right, it's still too early...
Your alarm becomes even harder to disguise
But the steps are uneven
Of course you recognise their sound
How can you ever forget them?
Two feet and a stick against the ground
John clears his throat
At least he doesn't like what he sees
"It's just a precaution." says the nurse
"Just remove them, will you please?"
She frees you and he takes a seat
Places the chair far away from your side
Does he think about what happened earlier?
In any way regret that he left you behind?
He sits quiet for a long time
Watches you sternly as the daylight fade
You know he has come for a single reason
The decision had already been made
In the end, he rises from the chair
There's just no reason for him to dwell
The stick he leaves by your bedside
His way of telling you his final farewell
And for a second time he leaves you
The door closes and then he's gone
It makes you as irrational as the first time
Please, I don't want to do this alone...
All is silent, the stage is set
You keep your eyes closed and wait
The pain is tiring, can't help drifting off
Just sleep until you have to face your fate
AUTHOR'S SIXTH NOTE
I think this is my favourite part yet, because I got to write something which was off screen and use my imagination a bit. At the same time I hate that it is... Why do I do this to my baby? It feels like a stab to the heart each time I read it!
I have a head canon which is related to what I wrote in the first part too, that Sherlock always talks to John, also in his head when he needs to solve a difficult problem or in general (which they have implied on the show a few times). The head canon is basically that when Sherlock really understood that John didn't want anything to do with him, when he beat him to a pulp, then even his inner dialogue silenced. John didn't talk to him in his head either. It was quiet, he knew he was alone and it made him completely terrified, especially in this situation when he was so messed up on drugs that it crushed his feelings. Also, which I hope was clear, he doesn't show any signs on the outside of his panic (because he's still that good) but he understands how people break down from a situation like this, being unable to move and not knowing what to do, how adults can scream and cry like children.
Finally, I like that John isn't too comfortable with seeing Sherlock being treated as a psychotic madman (also maybe because he might be a bit unsure about who it really is that needs to be restrained?) and saves him without even knowing it. After all, he knows he isn't mad; just different and that's what he has liked about him up until now.
What did you think about this part? Do you like it as much as I do? Please comment your thoughts!
