The following contains: a dangerously sexy alien (side-effects may result in nosebleeds), violence, a made-up representation of gangs, inappropriate language, embarrassing and awkward situations, feats of inhuman/unrealistic strength, speed, and mutant powers that cannot be achieved in real life (sadly) and should not be attempted unless you are an actual alien or mutant. And yes this is an Usui x OC alternate Universe.

DISCLAIMER: original manga and all rights belong to Hiro Fujiwara, who is awesome.

~o0o0o0o0o0o0o~

It had been less than a week of lacey-straight-jacket hell and Saya was already on the verge of manslaughter. She didn't mind cleaning, but doing it in someone else's house and in a skirt that constantly gave you a wedgie…that was just a bit too much, and so was demanding that she dress her "Master" when he came fresh out of the shower (Saya honestly had no idea how she had managed to talk her way out of that one).

She shuddered at the memory as she cleaned the kitchen.

The fork next to the toaster was starting to look reaaaaal friendly.

Especially since Tora had said they were having guests over tonight. Also, her "grace period" for keeping the rich boy at an arms length was running out.

Saya grumbled to herself and went back to polishing the stove. At least she got a break from the rich bastard while he was at school.

"Ohhh look at that SpArkLE!" Saya nearly ruined the product of her elbow grease as she salivated over the glorious kitchen. As much as she was against girly things, sparkly stuff was one of her weaknesses…so were British guys *drool*.

And kitchens. She had always dreamed of being an Iron Chief, but her obligations as a gangster had obviously cast that aside.

Saya hustled to finish and start on the other floors. The rich boy would be back soon and the house was supposed to be spick-and-span by the time the guests arrived.

Thank the Lord they hadn't taken away her IPod.

~o0o0o0o0o0o0o~

Usui pressed the doorbell and waited with Misaki.

"Are you sure the invitation said 5:00? I could've sworn it said 7:00…" Misaki scratched her head.

"It said 7."

"Then why did you have us come so early!?" Misaki exclaimed, angry that he had tricked her.

"I thought that the sooner we got here the sooner we could leave," Usui answered. "Or did you actually want to stay?"

"Oh…" Misaki blinked, "no…good idea…" Misaki hadn't really wanted to come, but as Seika's Student Council President, she thought it would be impolite to decline Igarashi's invitation.

The door opened.

"President Ayuzawa, Usui-san, we weren't expecting you so early."

"Maki? I mean, Vice President," Misaki gawked.

"I guess he really is a butler…" Usui commented.

"Please come in," Maki gestured as he bowed and held the door open, "I will inform President Igarashi of your arrival."

Maki seemed to disappear almost as soon the two walked through the door.

"…Whoa," Misaki looked around at the exterior of the house. "It's so…expensive…and clean. REALLY clean." Everything was arranged, furbished, and polished to perfection.

"Look at the chandelier," Usui pointed in awe, "it's almost blinding."

"You're right," Misaki had to shield her eyes from the glow.

"Being punctual is a good quality, but showing up this early is what most people would call rude." Igarashi Tora entered threshold from one of the spacious hallways, Maki at his side. "You've caught me unprepared."

"It doesn't look like it…" Misaki muttered, her definition of the word "tidy" completely blow away. "This is just insane."

"Sorry for the surprise," Usui said dully, "We were just looking forward to dinner so much that we couldn't wait."

"Is that so?" Tora replied doubtfully.

"How did they even get up so high to polish that?...huh?" Misaki finally tuned in.

"Impressed?" Tora caught her attention. "To be honest I was surprised that my new housekeeper had such…natural talent." Tora smirked. "She's the real deal," he looked at Misaki, "my own personal maid."

Misaki frowned at him.

"Would you like to meet her? You might be able to learn something," he cracked a sharp-toothed smile. Tora was still very interested in Misaki.

"Excuse me President Igarashi, but I would rather you tell us why you've invited us here," Misaki said flatly. "What business do you have with us?"

"So formal," Tora chuckled, "Don't worry, we'll get to that later. But first I want you to meet her. After all, she has a part to play in what I've got to offer you…."

Misaki and Usui followed him down the hall.

"Have you ever heard of the Cutthroat Showdown Gang?" he asked, his back to them as he walked.

Usui's ears perked up.

"Yeah," Misaki answered, confused by the off topic. "We actually had a bit of a run-in with some of them not to long ago."

"We saw the Wildcat stab a guy," Usui elaborated.

"Really?" Tora turned to them. "HAhahah! She stabbed someone?!"

"Why do you make it sound like that's a good thing?" Misaki squinted at him.

"That woman…" Tora laughed to himself.

"You know her?" Usui was calculating. He could hear a voice coming from the direction they were headed. Someone was singing…well, sort of singing.

"Oh yeah, we've gotten very close very recently," Tora replied with a grin. "this'll make things all the more interesting for everyone…"

"…And I'd be dancin' with myse-elf. Oh O-ohh.

Dancin' with myse-ellf,"

Saya mumbled along as she finished up in the dining room.

She had her headphones pretty loud, but she still thought she heard the rich boy calling her.

She ignored it.

If she pretended not to hear him, maybe he'd go away. Plus, it was her favorite part of the Billy Idol song.

"…And I'll sweat, sweat, sweat…"

"Saya," Tora barked for the third time. "Im talking to you!"

Misaki grimaced at how he treated the maid, she was neck deep in sympathy for the poor girl and glad that it seemed like she couldn't hear him.

The dancing and the IPod was a dead give-away to Usui, but it was still a shock to think that the Wildcat and this maid were the same person. He smiled at her idiotic dancing as she sang, and took in every possible detail of the way her shoulders and hips swayed.

"Sweat, sweat, Sweat! Sweat Sweat! Ahhh-ahhOOW!" She threw her head back as she sang, and then went back to sweeping as she bobbed her head.

" Ah dancing with myse-eellf, Uh Uh oh—"

A headphone was yanked out of her ear.

Saya turned in surprise, pretending to have never noticed his arrival.

CANT YOU SEE IM'A DANCIN WITH MYSELF HERE!? V_V

"Oh, sorry Master. Did you call for me?" she said on the outside. It was then that Saya realized they weren't the only people in the room.

…..Fuuudddgggggeee….

Saya recognized the boy immediately, there was no way she could have forgotten those all-seeing green eyes. And she recognized the girl as well.

…Well, There goes my reputation as a badass….Wait! she reminded herself that all was not lost. I had my hood up that time, so they didn't see my face! THEY'LL NEVER KNOW IT WAS ME!

"Our guests are here early, Saya-chan. And though they tell me you've already met, I still expect you to be on your best behavior," Tora wore a superior expression as he grinned.

GOD #$^&*%^^ *#& #%!$^%&* DAMMIT! #$%*#^Q#$%& HE TOLD THEM WHO I AM!?

Saya pictured herself hanging at the gallows.

"Wait," Misaki said, just catching on, "are you saying….thats the Wildcat?"

"You're slow Prez," Usui said.

Guess there's no hiding it now...she thought miserably. Oh well..in the mean time, I have a score to settle…

Saya flashed a poised smile and turned to the boy and girl.

"'Welcome to the Jungle', my name is Saya" she bowed, "At your service." She made eye contact with the boy, and judging by his smartass look, he had caught on.

Tora and Misaki both blinked at the odd greeting.

"Jungle?" Tora questioned what the meaning behind that was.

Saya nodded.

"It's inhabited by wild tigers and cats," Saya explained and Tora smirked.

"Good thing Im not intimidated by jungle cats," Usui was keen on winning their on-going battle. "If I ever came across one Id just charm it with a little 'Sugar, Sugar'."

Misaki face-palmed herself. Not this again….

Saya had to stifle a snort.

"I wasn't trying to intimidate you, Sir," she said cooly. "If I had been, I would've greeted you with something like 'Someone's Gonna Get Their Head Kicked in Tonight'."

"HhAHhaha! Saya," Tora sighed, "I shouldn't allow you to misbehave like that, but in this case …" Tora was rather pleased. "You don't like this guy very much do you Wildcat?"

Sounds to me like YOU don't like him very much, Saya observed.

"She likes me more than she likes you, pervy bro," Usui said.

She could barely hold it in that time, Saya cleared her throat to keep from laughing out loud.

AAHAHAH! Pervy Bro? BRO?EWW! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

But Tora had noticed her slip up, so she had to cover herself. She coughed and addressed the smartass.

"Usui-san right?"

Usui's eyes flickered to Saya at her use of his name.

"I don't mean to be rude, but you'd be mistaken if you were to think I held you in higher regard than my Master," Saya looked him straight in the eye; it was the most convincing lie she'd ever told.

Usui raised an eyebrow.

Tora smiled wildly, relishing the way Usui was being labeled inferior.

"So you don't like him Saya-chan?"

"He is barely tolerable, Master."

Usui smirked.

"Tell me," Tora was eager for a response, "what would you do if I lifted your combat restrictions and let you do as you pleased with him?" He could just imagine Saya beating and making a fool out of the high and mighty Usui.

"Hey!" Misaki protested, "Don't joke about that kind of thing!"

"Uh…" Saya thought. If she did anything to that guy it'd probably be break his nose… then maybe he wouldn't be so distracting to look at. "Master Im not sure that would be appropriate…"

"Leave it to the pervy bro to ask such a question," Usui said lightly. "You shouldn't put her on the spot like that."

"What are you talking about Usui?" Misaki forehead creased.

"It's bad manners to ask her to disclose dirty details of how she would have her way with me."

"USUI! Are you retarded!?"

"What?" he blinked at Misaki, and then looked at Saya, who was staring at him with a face like thunder. "You wouldn't kiss and tell, would you?"

Saya twitched. What is WITH this guy!?

"Watch how you talk to my fiancé, Usui."

Saya snapped her head in Tora's direction, her mind going blank.

"Fiancé?" Misaki's eyebrows rose.

Usui stared.

"Excuse me? Master?" Saya's bent up rage was reaching its limits.

Oh HELL no. Ive cleaned this guy's toilet LONG ENOUGH! If this is true, IT WILL MEAN WAR.

"Yeah, I guess I should've told you sooner," Tora was enjoying himself. He could see the fury hidden beneath Saya's polite composure, "but I thought it would be more interesting to surprise you…"

Well CON-GRATS! I AM utterly stunned. The vein in her forehead was about to burst at any minute.

"You're father was delighted with the proposal. He thought it would be beneficial on both our sides."

"If you wouldn't mind Master, I'd like to get a confirmation from my Father."

Tora scoffed.

"You don't believe me?"

"On the contrary, I have no doubt my father would agree to this, but I would still like to hear it from him."

Misaki couldn't help noticing the aura of hostility that was starting to accumulate.

"Fine," he pulled out his cellphone and called a number. With a condescending look, he handed it to Saya.

Got my dad's number in your contacts huh? Aren't you two just CHUMMY?

"Thank you, Master," she took the phone and left the room.

Tora turned to Misaki and Usui.

"Please, sit." He pulled out a chair for Misaki.

~
"Igarashi?" her father's voice answered roughly.

"Actually its "Soon-to-be" Igarashi," Saya clarified, her temper rising. "But of course, no one told ME that."

"Did you really not see this coming Saya?"

"No!" Saya shook her head reverently. She really, really had never thought he dad could be THAT much of a jerk. "I was counting on you to get me out of this frou-frou hell!"

"You should be grateful that a boy like that is even interested in you. He's of a noble line with money, power—"

"Well if he's SOOOO great, WHY DON'T YOU MARRY HIM?!"

Usui and Misaki choked on their tea, hearing Saya's outburst from the other room. Misaki's hand flew over her mouth to stop her from laughing. She definitely understood Saya's revulsion with the arranged marriage.

Usui looked at Tora.

"Sounds like she doesn't like you either." :]

Saya snapped the phone shut.

That. Is. It.

Who cares if her father was gonna disowned her if she didn't marry that sissy boy?! She sure as hell didn't!

Since he wont see reason, I'm just gonna have to take things into my own hands.

Saya snickered to herself, a plot to reap her revenge already brewing…

"President Igarashi," Misaki hesitated, "are you sure its okay for us to be here? Shouldn't this be a more private, uh…discussion between you and Saya?"

"A discussion would be implying that there is something to talk about, President Ayuzawa," Saya re-entered the room, "which there isn't. This is a celebration. And what's a celebration without an audience, right Master?" Saya smiled brightly.

Tora was shocked. It was the first real smile he had ever seen her wear.

"Exactly…" Tora answered. "Dinner is always better with a show."

"I couldn't agree more," she inclined her head gracefully.

Usui watched as he drank his tea, pondering Saya's sudden switch in temperament.

"So, with this being a special occasion, I have a request, Master."

Tora cocked an eyebrow.

"Please do me the honor of letting me prepare dinner for tonight," Saya bowed.

"You cook?" Tora and Usui said in unison.

"You underestimate me, Master," Saya tilted her head up and gave Tora a look that made his mouth water. "I promise you, it will be a feast to remember."

"Alright," Tora conceded, "but make it quick, Im already hungry." Tora's eyes shifted from Saya to Misaki.

"With pleasure," Saya smiled sweetly and bowed again before sweeping out of the room.

Muwahahaha! AAHAHAHAHAMUWAHAHAHAHAHAHHHH!

"Magnificent, isn't she?" Tora gloated. "That's what I call a woman…Clever, independent, strong-willed, and she knows how to play the game…" Tora smirked at Misaki.

"What game?" Misaki said in annoyance.

"Poker," Usui said.

"She definitely knows how to play her cards right…You on the other hand," Tora sighed at Misaki, "…I can call your bluff."

But that was thing about Misaki that rattled him; her intentions were always so straightforward, flat out obvious even. He SHOULD have been able to call her bluff, yet her simple honesty always threw him through a loop.

"Arent we getting off topic, President Igarashi?" Misaki glared.

"Eh alright, I suppose we should get down to business before we enjoy the rest of our evening…"

~o0o0o0o0o0o~

Saya made her way to the kitchen, the head chef and his crew were already starting on the menu.

"Listen up, all of you!" she called their attention. "There's been a change in plans. I will be making dinner, so clear out."

"U-uh M-miss Saya," the head chef gave a nervous bow.

Saya twitched.

"I d-don't mean to over step my place b-but, I don't think y-your allowed near the k-knives—"

"FOOL!" Saya snapped. "Is that anyway to talk to your future Mistress? YOU DARE QUESTION TORA'S FIANCE!?"

"FOR THE LOVE OF SUSHI NO!" the chef squeaked. "EVACUATE!" he cried and dashed out the door.

"CHEF!" the rest followed at top speed.

"Excellent…" Saya evilly drummed her fingers together. She inhaled the scent of the superb kitchen and smiled.

It had always been Saya's job to prepare meals for her father's guest during evening meetings. Well, it actually wasn't her job… but Saya would always kick people out of the kitchen anyway and make it her job. And she was good at it. She loved baking and cooking (and eating), it was one of the few things she was actually proud to show-off.

Saya took the stupid ruffle thing off of her head and replaced it with a bandana, tightening it snug.

And now… Saya drew up her inner chi.

"ALLEZ CUISINE!"

~o0o0o0o0o0o~

"…I'll be becoming the head of the Cutthroat Showdown Gang," Tora was explaining, "and I intend to increase its number of members. Which is where you come in," Tora's eyes glazed over Misaki.

"I want you to start a club at Seika High, a precursor to becoming a Cutthroat."

"You mean you want me to recruit students to participate in illegal activities?" Misaki seethed.

"More or less," Tora waved his hand idly.

"Well I wont do it," Misaki said firmly. "I wont be responsible for enlisting students in a life of crime."

"Oh c'mon," Tora scoffed. "Half of your student body is already on their way to getting convicted, so why not make sure they're at least getting paid for it?"

Misaki was appalled.

"You're their President, you're suppose to be looking out for them. And what better way to do it than setting them up for a future career where they can be free to act like the delinquents they are?"

Usui took another sip of his tea.

"It would be your job, President Ayuzawa and Usui, to train them. Meanwhile at Miyabigaoka, Saya will be in charge of the new recruits there." Tora went on. "You're students respect both of you, I couldn't imagine better leaders to discipline those peasants… And I'll have created the mightiest generation of Cutthroat gangsters," he flashed his teeth maliciously.

"Is that all?" Misaki crossed her arms.

"..hmmm..empty…" Usui poked at his teacup.

"Your efforts would be handsomely rewarded. If you proved yourself, I would be willing to re-establish the scholarship I had offered you and your sister…President Ayuzawa."

Misaki was lost for words.

"How come Misa-chan is the only one getting a VIP scholarship?" Usui interrupted.

Tora threw Usui an aggravated look and was about to respond—.

"Excuse me, Master."

Saya entered the dinning room pushing a cart loaded with delicate bowls and steaming pots of food.

"Dinner is served." Normally she would be serving a dinner like this from behind a counter where she could store all the final touches that needed to be individually added throughout the meal, but she was going to have to make due with the cart.

"That was fast," Tora remarked.

Thats cuz I went Super Saiyan in the kitchen.

"Whoa!" Misaki was blown away. "It..it all looks so fancy!"

"It's Kaiseki," Usui said, analyzing the food. "Traditionally a multi-course dinner, very high class. A kaiseki dinner at a restaurant can cost anything from 15,000 to 40,000 yen per person."

(A/N: I did some research and I guess it really IS that fancy! SOUNDS SO COOL!)

"40,000 YEN?!" Misaki had no idea. "…how do you even know that Usui?"

"Why wouldn't I know that?"

"It looks like you didn't make all 14 courses though," Tora said with a pompous air.

"My apologies Master, I only had time to make 8," Saya said as she began dishing out the appetizer. "I assumed that you would rather not be kept waiting and stuck to the most important dishes."

Boy you are LUCKY you are even getting to LOOK at this masterpiece!...before I KILL YOU!

"I expected better," he said cynically.

"Quality over quantity, pervy bro," Usui said before Saya could even respond.

She blinked.

Did he just defend me?

"Thank you for the food!" Misaki chimed and enthusiastically dug in to the seafood dish.

Saya smiled. No one had ever really given her credit for her cooking before. But the next course was when the REAL fireworks were gonna take off.

She watched patiently as Tora took a bite of the sashimi and ponzu. The Ponzu was the key. In the appetizer it was the white miso marinate that contained her "special" ingredient just for the rich bastard. It would hit him soon.

And if it didn't, there was always the egg yolk sauce in the third course.

"You served the ponzu as jelly instead of a dipping sauce…" Usui chewed his food slowly. (A/N: I read that chilled ponzu jelly "reaches another gastronomic dimension".)

Saya briefly took her attention away from her target.

"Is that a problem?" Her question came out rather cold because she was getting antsy, but also because Usui's knowledge of food was starting to intimidate her.

"Not at all," Usui locked eyes with her, "my compliments."

If Saya didn't know any better, she'd say he almost made her blush.

"But the texture of the fish was a touch to firm for my taste."

V_V** Saya was insulted.

Then that would be the FISH'S FAULT! she wanted to say.

"Shut up Usui!" Misaki butted in. "Don't mind him, he's just a stupid alien. He doesn't know what he's talking about. It's delicious!"

"…Thank you," Saya bowed.

"Yeah..."

Saya looked over at the sound of the rich boy's voice and saw his plate was scrapped clean.

She bit back a smirk.

Any minute now.

"I have to admit that was better than anything my kitchen staff has ever made for me," Tora grinned. "Now, get me the next dish."

"Yes, Master."

Saya was placing the 3rd course in front of him when she heard it.

A low, guttural rumble.

Tora swallowed and put his hand to his stomach.

"Master," she wore her 'concerned' expression, "are you feeling well?"

A cold sweat broke across Tora's face as his innards gurgled.

"…my stomach…" He did not feel well.

"Ohh…" Saya leaned forward, putting her hand on his shoulder, "…Maybe it was something you ate," she whispered in his ear.

Tora glowered in dread as a wicked smile broke across Saya's face.

"..you.. you Poisoned Me!"

Usui and Misaki froze in mid bite. They both slowly looked down at their own food.

"ANARCHY IN THE U.K.!" Saya bellowed and punched him right in his face.

Tora reeled sideways and was knocked out of his chair, gasping in pain.

Usui held up a scorecard with '8.5' on it.

"Aren't you supposed to be good at judo or something?" Saya looked down on Tora.

"You damn—" he was about to get back up but then he felt like his rear-end was gonna burst. "uuhg-gAAAHHHHhh!"

Usui and Misaki watched, dumbstruck, as Tora scrambled to his feet.

"t-TOILET!" he shouted without thinking. But before he could even make a second step—

*WAM!*

Saya punched him again, right in his lower stomach.

"OoOHH SSSHH*T!" Tora cried out and fell to the ground, clutching his behind rather than his stomach.

"Hehehehehehehe!" Saya giggled in delight, "Aren't laxatives great?!"

Tora churned in fear and attempted to crawl away past her feet.

"You know," Saya easily stepped on his back, pinning him to the ground with one foot. "Somewhere out there, there's a tree producing oxygen so you can breathe…" Saya looked down on him mercilessly, "...I think you owe it an apology."

Tora clenched his teeth in fear, his eyes shifting to the table.

"Are you just gonna sit there and watch!?" he yelped at Misaki and Usui who were in shock.

Saya looked over at the Seika High students.

"Oh please," her tone completely softened, "Don't mind us, keep eating and enjoy the show," she smiled cheerfully.

Usui and Misaki looked at their plates and back at Saya.

Saya laughed as she caught on.

"No need to worry, I only tampered with the rich boy's food. If I had put something in yours, you would've felt it by now."

Usui tilted his head, then shrugged and took another bite.

"Usui, are you sure?..."Misaki still wasn't convinced.

"It's fine Misa-chan," Usui nommed.

"Now," Saya glared at Tora. "I want to make this very clear. I am done being your god damn pet," Saya snatched off the ruffly thing from her head and stuffed it into Tora's mouth. "How'd ya like THEM ruffles? UNCOMFORTABLE isn't it?!"

Tora started mumbling something.

"Shut up!" Saya smacked him upside the head.

Tora squirmed on the ground, obviously uncomfortable for certain bowel reasons.

"You dragged me here, made me dress up like some FLOOZY. YOU TOUCHED MY HAIR! You made me clean up after you, do your dam laundry," the list went on "You tried to take advantage of me—"

Usui stopped eating.

"—you had me be your personal frickin FOOTSTOOL for a day! IN THIS DRESS FOR PETE'S SAKE!" Saya kicked him in the stomach so hard that he spit out the cloth that she had crammed in his mouth.

"Im a PERSON!"

*kick*

"I have FEELINGS!"

*kick*

"I deserve RESPECT!"

*kick*

"R-*stomp*-E-*stomp*-S-*stomp*-P-*stomp*-E-*kick*-C-*stomp*-T! RESPECT!"

Usui tallied in his head that she had just used another song title.

Tora cried out with every kick of Saya's 6inch heels.

"My sTOMacH!—"

"OHhh SHUT UP!"

*kick*

"NOW kiss my shoe!" Saya ordered as he blubbered on the floor. "Kiss. My. SHOE."

*kick*

"Umm," Misaki whispered to Usui, "…is…is it ok to just let her…?"

"Are you gonna try and stop her?" Usui raised an eyebrow.

Misaki shook her head, wide-eyed. She knew a life or death situation when she saw one.

Tora's legs were trembling and he whimpered to the point of tears.

"Awwh," Saya bend down, making a compassionate face. "What's wrong? Oh, I know!" She flipped him over so he was on his back.

"You're still hungry, aren't you?"

Tora's eyes shrunk in peril. He went to heave himself up and out of the line of fire—But Saya stomped right on his stomach, pinning him back down again.

"OOHHH FFFFFFFF—I CANT HOLD IT!" Tora snarled up at his tormentor.

"Well youre gonna have to," Saya hissed and used her foot to press harder on his stomach. Tora wailed and squeezed his thighs together.

"These heels sure are really coming in handy today, don't you think Tiger-kun?"

"Now now Wildcat," Usui approached the scene. "That's just cruel…"

Both Saya and Tora looked at him suspiciously. Usui squatted down on the other side of Tora and they saw what he had in his hands.

"…not letting a guy finish his dinner when the food is this good," he stirred the bowl of dipping sauce that Saya had set at Tora's seat. "That's just torture."

Saya laughed skeptically in surprise at Usui's behavior.

Who IS this guy?

Misaki sat alone at the table, conflicted.

"You…" Tora panted, "..you wouldn't dare…in my HOUSe?!" Tora realized. "MAKI! MAKI! ANYBODY! GET THIS CRAZY B—"

"Maki's gone," Saya informed him and applied more pressure to his stomach. "I sent him on a tampon run—which was a complete lie by the way Ha! The kitchen staff took a vacation, you fired your old housekeeping people, and your parents are never around…."

Tora's breath was going ragged.

"I'll call the police," he panicked and went for his pocket with his cell—

"You're gonna have to GET to a phone before you can call the police," Saya waved the cell phone in front of him, just out of reach. She hadn't given it back to him since she had called her father.

Tora angrily tried to snatch it out of her hand but she was too quick and slipped it back into her apron pocket.

"Ah, ah, ah, you didn't say the magic word," Saya tisked her finger at him. "Ah,ah,ah, not till you finish your dinner," she said with a wily smile, then held her hand out to Usui for the bowl. But he wouldn't give it to her.

"I'll do it," Usui said.

"Why?" Saya narrowed her eyes distrustfully.

"Because I think he'd like it if you were to feed him," he explained and looked at the guilty Tora. "Now here comes the airplane!" Usui mocked in a baby voice and made an obnoxious plane rudder noise.

Tora clamped his mouth shut, it was all he could do since the nausea had turned his limbs into rubber.

Saya studied Usui for a second.

This kid…is a goof.

She knew that Tora didn't like him that much, but why was this guy so willing to humiliate the rich boy?

"Shouldn't you be trying to help him?" she asked in mid chuckle. "Arent you guys sorta friends?"

"Im teaching him a lesson because I care," Usui was jabbing the spoon at Tora's closed mouth.

Saya gave him a doubtful look, but then shrugged. It wasn't like their relationship was any of her business. Plus she could tell Tora was VERY irritated with Usui, a guy, feeding him.

Hehehehe.

Saya plugged Tora's nose so he couldn't breath.

Tora struggled for a few seconds, unwilling to open his airway. His legs jittered in protest.

Finally he gasped and unclenched his jaw, but instead of receiving a spoonful of the toxin, Usui just poured the whole bowl straight down the hatch.

Tora drank it all and then sputtered for air.

"HAHAHAHAHAHAH!" Saya cackled and slapped Usui on his shoulder, "NICE ONE!"

"You…" Tora choked, "You mafia tramp—"

Usui jabbed the spoon with the last of the laxatives back in Tora's face.

"Last bite," Usui chided.

"NO MORE!" Tora shook his head frantically. He was gonna explode any minute.

"USUI!" Misaki jolted out of her chair, finally snapped out of her dazed state. "That's enough! Cut it out!"

Tora was shocked by the voice of reason.

"She's right," Saya gave Tora one last jab in the stomach, "He looks like he's gonna blow."

"mmmm…" Usui pouted.

Tora's eyes were pinched shut with tension.

"Go do your business," Saya shooed him away with disgust, "But that bathroom better be SPARKLING when your done, got that?! For just ONCE in your life you are going to scrub a toilet! And so help me, if it looks like you were slacking in there," she pulled Tora to his feet by the collar, "I'll make you lick it clean."

Tora's eyes widened as her seriousness.

She gave him one last glare and then shoved him out of the dining room.

He broke out into the fastest waddle she had ever seen.

To be continued. . .

I had SO much fun writing that part. ITS SO EVIL! But will Saya escape from the pervy bro before he gets off the can? And just how much more culinary criticism can Saya take from Usui? FIND OUT NEXT!

Next Chapter: Freedom isn't free!