Chapter 3: Little Conversations


A/N: I still don't own them.

Song for this chapter is Little Conversations by Concrete Blonde.


They'd retreated to their corners under the baleful gaze of the one constant in Haven. She wouldn't let them say anything. If they were going to act like children, then she'd put them in time-out. It was almost ironic.

"I'm talking now, and if either of you even considers interrupting me, remember that I can get one of those guns in under ten seconds.

"We have to get on the same page here. We've all made mistakes, both before and after William and Mara. We could sit here all night and drag them out, but... they just don't matter now. Not really. We can't change the past."

"Nate can. Or could."

She cut Duke a scathing look and he clamped his jaw shut, pretending to lock it and throw away the key.

"I've been awake every night, haunted by these pictures and memories. Sarah. Lucy. Even Lexie. Others I don't know. But the ones that honestly scared me were the ones of you two... in places that I know I wasn't. When I was still inside her, I was aware of what was happening. I just couldn't do anything about it. These other memories are different. Hers." She shook her head, chewing the inside of her cheek.

"Don't be mad at Duke, Nathan. I... rather, she... was worse than you know. Duke didn't purposely do this. He would never purposely hurt either of us." She laid a hand in the rogue's hair, ruffling the silky waves. He relaxed under her touch.

"Duke, don't be mad at Nathan. You both did the best you could with what you had. You've been two sides of the same coin all your lives. Don't let her keep winning."

She was approaching her grand idea. She steeled her resolve, praying to a god she hardly believed in.

"I feel like the rope in a game of tug 'o war. Nathan wants me. Duke wants me."

"Vince wants you too, for the record." Duke was physically incapable of staying silent. She shook her head and ignored him, determined to plow through.

"This isn't about Vince. It's... about me. My feelings. And the future."

Nathan was anxious, certain that he was watching the death of his personal happy ever after. He cleared his throat and quietly asked the million dollar question.

"What are your feelings, Audrey? What do you want?"

He was serious. He wasn't keeping up at all. She shook her head.

"I want you two to love each other the way you love me."

Both men were stunned speechless, eyes darting back and forth, jaws gaping in identical expressions of astonishment. It would be funny, if the circumstances weren't so dire. She waited, silent and still, while her boys tried to catch up.

Duke, as usual, spoke first.

"What do you mean by that, exactly?"

She rolled her eyes, obvious even with one lid swollen shut.

"I may not be the 'real' Agent Parker, but I have her training. Honestly. Are you telling me there's never been anything between you two?"

Nathan didn't move, but his face went red. Interesting. She'd been betting that Crocker would crack first.

"I don't know what you've heard, but whatever happened..." he glanced sideways at Duke, trying not to meet anyone's eyes- "that was a long time before I knew you. Years before."

Audrey snorted.

"Nobody told me anything. Hell, secrets are this towns stock and trade. I'm glad you didn't just lie and deny it ever happened."

"I concur. The lady does not like being lied to." Duke saluted her with his beer, glad when her lips twist up. He looked at Nathan. "Is it really that bad? You'd rather keep tearing her in two- Sorry, Audrey- than be around me?" His tone was light, but she heard the trace of pain and his eyes were somber.

"I... no. I mean, no, it's not bad and I don't want to 'tear her in two'. Not when we just got her back in one piece." He furrowed his brow. "But... I don't know how it would work. Not with my Trouble."

Ah, that was it. He was afraid. He'd been able to feel back then. She knelt down between her boys, one hand resting on Nathan's denim-clad knee as she reached out to clasp Duke's hand.

"We could learn. Together. We've solved bigger problems."

"She's right. We've definitely solved bigger problems." He set his beer down and grasped Nathan's hand, making sure Nathan could see the touch, even if he couldn't feel it.

Nathan gazed between Audrey at his feet and Duke's hand around his own and he sighed, twisting his fingers around Duke's.

"Is this what you both honestly want? Parker's pregnant with your kid. I don't want to be an albatross."

Duke shot Audrey a jagged grin. "Way I remember it, albatross was a ship's good luck, 'til some idiot killed it."

Audrey grinned back, even though it hurt her face.

"So no more runnin'." She agreed. "I aim to misbehave."

"Shiny. Let's be bad guys." Nathan smirked at them. "What? I watch movies."

"You've got some kind of decoupage 'Serenity' box, I bet. All covered with pictures of Summer Glau. Admit it, Nate."

"A wise man once said, 'If you can't do something smart, do something right.' I'm not sure if it's smart, but... it feels right." He huffed out the residual adrenaline and moved his free hand to cover Audrey's.

As their hands completed the circuit, Nathan jerked visibly, his head whipping to look at his hand that was still wrapped up with Duke's. He flexed his fingers, running them across his oldest friend's hand. He looked stunned.

"I can feel you..." he murmured, then reached farther, pulling Duke closer while keeping his hand on Audrey. She watched in silent glee as Nathan kissed Duke, and as her eyes roamed their faces, she whispered almost silently, truly in awe, "No power in the 'verse can stop me."

A voice whispered in her head, sounding terrifyingly like Mara. 'You can't have it all.'