JPOV
Someone was slapping me. And I didn't like it. Not a bit. Whoever motherfucker was doing that did have a strong hand. It wasn't exactly hurtful, more like uncomfortable. And it stung a little, I had to admit. I swear to God if the guy doesn't stop bitch slapping me I'll have to use my fist. And that will hurt. Fortunately, not me. And I had to thank some angel up there I heard his voice before doing something.
"Dude, come on, wake up!"
I opened my eyes to find Edward's concerned green orbs staring at me.
"Man, you're okay? You scared me there for a minute," he said.
I slowly sat up, wondering what had happened. Had I passed out? It wasn't usual of me, so there had to be a good reason. When the wheels started turning in my head, I thought I was going to faint again. It kept repeating in my ears like a mantra.
"YOU ARE WHAT?" I grabbed him by his shoulders. His eyes widened in surprise. "You just fucking said you're pregnant. How? When? Where? Why? TELL ME!"
"Well, it was actually a while ago I said that. You were out for at least ten minutes."
Was he for real?
"Are you being sarcastic?"
"No," he frowned, confused.
"For God sake, Edward. Just…Is that even possible?"
He started shifting uncomfortably in my grip.
"Jacob, can you…" he swallowed "…can you just let go?"
What's with me and my lack of thinking? I just keep screwing up with him. I quickly did as he asked and hung my arms at my sides.
"Just…tell me," I pleaded.
He got up and extended his hand. I imitated him without his help and raised an eyebrow.
"Are you alright?" he asked, "Are you dizzy? Do you want some water or something?"
I rolled my eyes and he looked down.
"I was just worried," he mumbled.
"Tell me," I sighed.
He climbed his bed and sat in the middle, Indian-style.
"Sit," he ordered.
Shit, this wasn't good. I did as he said, sitting in front of him, in the same position.
"Um, so, you know, Carlisle did some tests. I'm healthy. The last test was a…um…pregnancy test. Weird, I know. I almost freaked out. Still, I made it. And…it was positive. Dad knew all along it had to do with this. He already suspected. I think that's why he was mad at me."
"But it wasn't your fault!" I protested, interrupting him.
"Will you just hear me out?" he said, clearly irritated.
I simply nodded.
"Well, you're probably wondering how this is possible," Hell yeah! "I always thought this was just a myth, but…" he rolled his eyes. "Whatever, vampires and werewolves are supposed to be myths as well," he took a deep breath. "There's this myth that says that among vampires there are a few ones that are slightly different: the Succubus and the Incubus."
"What's that?"
He closed his eyes.
"I swear to God if he doesn't shut up…" he sang.
"Sorry. Go on."
"A Succubus is a female vampire that was a demon before she was changed. From what Carlisle showed me, they seduce human males and have…yeah, you know…with them and get pregnant. An Incubus is basically the same, but they seduce human females and can't get pregnant. Oh, and they're males, by the way."
"Where are you going with this?"
"I'm an Incubus."
I didn't know why I wasn't freaking out yet, but this was fucking confusing. I had a demon in front of me who I hated and then started liking and trusting and now I had no idea what to think of him. Jeez, I wasn't even thinking coherently.
"So," I swallowed. "You're a demon."
"Uh," he shrugged. "Not really, I guess. There's…uh…" he looked down. "I've lived alone, like…completely alone and I…uh…drank human blood."
"What the fuck?" I shot up.
"It's bad, I know it's bad, but I-I…I didn't kill anyone innocent. I know that doesn't erase what I've done, but…I do-don't know. I…please, listen, I used my gift," he shouted the last part. "I only killed criminals, not thieves…more like murderers and…and…" he stared at his lap like it was the cover of his favorite book. "If you want to leave, you're free to go, you have all the reasons to. Well, it's not like you had to be here in the first place, but…I'm not saying I don't want you here, don't get me wrong, but, anyway,…" he paused. "Kay, I'm rambling,"he whispered more to himself than me.
The way he was trembling and his quiet sniffs told me something that made me feel almost guilty – he was crying. I lowered, holding myself with one hand on the bed. I used the other to raise his chin gently, making him look at me. His emerald eyes had those brown and orange reflexes I fucking loved, wet and shiny. The tip of his nose was already pink and there were tiny trails of salty water running down his face.
"Hey…"
The air was knocked out of me as Edward's arms circled my neck tightly and rested his forehead in the crook of it.
"I can't loose you," he sounded so broken. "You're the only one that knows. You're the only one that will understand and you're the only one who can help me. And I'm fucking scared and I don't know what to do. I didn't want to admit it, but it's true and I can't deny it anymore. I'm scared as hell and since you've brought me home I've been having the feeling that if you weren't here this would be much worse. So, please don't leave. I…I need you," he talked so fast that I'm sure if I was normal I wouldn't have caught it. But I did. And my smile was so big I thought my cheeks would tear apart. He said he needed me. No problems by me.He sounded so desperate there was no way in hell I could say no. And even if he didn't I would anyway. I longed for him. It felt good to be with him. And I couldn't get enough.
I put my arms around his waist.
"I won't," I said.
He stopped and, for a second, I thought he had stopped functioning all together, but then I heard him quietly asking:
"Really?"
I nodded. This moment had been special and intense and it would be truly awesome to hug him for an entire hour, but we had things to deal with. I still didn't understand how it was possible for him to get pregnant and damn, I was curious. There was so much we had to talk about. I would have to start where we stopped.
"Edward, why did you tell me those things about your past?"
"You asked me if I was a demon," he stated lowly. "I have this theory that all vampires are monsters, biologically, at least. I've always felt out of place in this family, except for Jasper, of course, because I've been one of those my siblings and parents didn't have full respect for. I've always felt like there was a demon inside me…or still do. I don't know what to think right now. But, it's not like those myths. I mean…I don't believe I was such an evil creature before Carlisle bit me. I was just…normal, I think. And I've never seduced a human. I fell in love with Bella, but that's different, I guess."
"So that's it?" I scoffed. "You're not a demon, Edward."
"Whatever."
"So…you didn't say Incubus could get pregnant. I still don't get it."
"I believe there are only a few people who know about this myth. Carlisle showed me a book where it said that if there are…uh…things…between an Incubus and another m-male, the first gets pregnant. And to carry the child the body turns human, in case the baby is destined to be human. Carlisle knew right then the other father had to be…"he gulped. "…a werewolf, because of…the pain I felt earlier. He says it will happen frequently."
I gulped.
"Uh..ok…you're…pregnant, like…you are pregnant."
"I haven't decided if this is a good thing or not yet. What do you think?"
Shit! What was I supposed to say? In those soap operas my sisters usually made me watch, women were always happy when they found out their tits would be massive (I really hoped Edward didn't grew boobs), they would carry a huge bump, they'd be hungry all the time, puking everything they ingested in the first weeks and God knows what else. But I guess those weren't really the reasons they were felicitous. It was because they would be mommies. Maybe Edward was glad he would be a father, but his case was…different. After all the child was his, too.
"I…uh…I don't know. How do you feel about it?"
"I don't consider this baby his," I felt him shiver in my arms. "I do know this will change my life completely: my relationship with Bella, my family, myself, even my body. But, it's all worth it. Everything for this little angel inside me. I'm already attached to him," I felt his smile against my neck. "I've always wanted a child of my own, you know? I wanted it to be the right way, but…this is nice enough."
That was it. If he was happy, I was happy. Nothing else mattered.
I noticed now that we haven't changed our position in a while. I wouldn't be the first to do it. I would plead him not to. This had been there all along and we were so blind with our hate we didn't see it. Home is where the heart is – that's what they say. I felt at home. I felt strong, free, happy. Edward's heart beating against mine felt magic. I decided to take the risk and know if this was mutual.
"Do you feel this?" I asked, breaking the silence.
He nodded.
"It feels nice," he commented.
"Do you know what's also nice?"
"What?"
"We haven't thought about Bella in a few hours."
"I'm proud of myself for it."
"Me, too."
"I feel relieved."
"Same for me."
"How did we not see this before?"
"Blinded by hate, I guess."
"It was kind of silly," he chuckled softly.
"It was pathetic," I corrected.
"Yeah, it was."
"Tell me what you feel right now."
"I feel protected, safe, like finally someone cares about me, I feel capable of anything, like I'm in heaven. I feel peace. What about you?"
"Are you seeing white?" I cackled.
"Yes, Jacob, I am," he said, with a hint of laugh. "Did anyone tell you that you're amazing? That you just make people's pain and fears go away?"
"No."
"Shame on those jerks."
"Did anyone tell you that you're the bravest and strongest person emotionally they had ever met?"
"No."
"Shame on those fuckers."
It was pure truth. He couldn't be more unique. Not twenty-four hours had passed since he had been…If it was still terrifying me, I had no idea how hard it was for him. Yet his reaction wasn't as bad as common. It seemed like he could block it for a few minutes, but when something reminded him of what had happened he would start panicking. I was afraid that would turn worse soon. Something told me he was holding everything inside and would explode some time.
"What about you, Jacob? What do you feel?"
"Complete. At peace. Happy. Strong."
"Things changed so much."
"Yes, they did. You have a busy life, man."
He hummed.
Not a nice comment, I get it. We were silent for another half an hour or so, just like that – hugging each other tightly, not wanting to let go. I felt at the top of a mountain, savoring the wind and the sun, receiving the beautiful view's energy. This was heaven for me. I was sure he was the closest I could ever get to such a sweet place.
Fucking shit, why did you have to stop?I thought as he released me.
"I'm hungry."
I couldn't help but chuckle.
"Let's feed ourselves then."
"Will you cook?"
I didn't really think about that.
"I don't know how to," I admitted.
He shrugged.
"Then we're going out."
My jaw almost touched the ground as we entered the garage. How rich were the Cullens really? Why did they need cars anyway? Oh yeah, to pretend they're humans. No matter how stupid that sounds, but whatever. Jeep Wrangler (must be Bear's); Shiny Silver Volvo S60R (I've never liked that one, but it isa good car); Yellow Porsche 911 Turbo (oh la la, whose?); Black Aston Martin V12 Vanquish (fuck, that's my dream car).(AN: I don't know what color the car is, but I think I read somewhere it was silver, but I prefer it black).
I must have looked like an idiot, grinning and pointing to the last car, because Edward made a strange face. He looked at me, then at the car and at me again, understanding on his face.
"You want her?"
Was he serious? I answered by the way my eyes lit up, hopeful.
"Buy one then," he said, matter-of-factly.
My face fell, immediately.
"Can we at least drive it?"
"I usually save her for special occasions, but she's not getting any younger and I've been spoiling her, it's time for her to get to work," it didn't escape me the way he treated the car. Take that, Bella, he loves another one…and she's black! I wonder what her name is. Sorry, but this is just too funny!
Wait, wait, wait: so we areusing it today! Joy! I didn't want to be nosy, but there was still something I wanted to do.
"Can I drive?" my voice sounded timid to my own ears.
He was silent for a few moments, thinking, looking at the car. Seriously, what's the problem? It's a car!
"Uh…alright," he said, finally, "Just be careful with her."
Let's get you started, baby.
I wasn't disappointed at all when we were inside the car. If all, I was glad to be driving it. The white leather seats were comfortable and low, just how I like them. The steering wheel felt perfect in my hands and, before we both knew it, I had already started the car and we were on our way.
"Where do you want to go?" I asked.
"I don't know. I'm not exactly an expert when we're talking about food."
"How did chocolate taste?"
"Pretty good, actually."
"Do you like pizza?"
"Last time I checked it tasted like dirt."
"Maybe this time you'll like it. I think it's delicious."
"Is there a nice place to have lunch in Forks?"
"Not really. But we could always go to Port Angeles."
"Uh…fine," he didn't sound so sure of himself.
I casted him a glance. He was staring out of the window, as we passed a green blur. His fists opened and closed nervously.
"Something's wrong?"
" Why would it be?" he turned to me. "Everything's great," he didn't fool me. But if he didn't say it I couldn't do anything. I wasn't a fucking mind-reader.
"Eyes on the road, Jacob."
"Maybe it was a bad idea."
"No, we're having lunch in Port Angeles," the way he said it was somehow too strange, he spoke firmly, like hehad to do it, like it was some kind of task. If he really wanted to, I wouldn't stop him. "Uh…Jake, can you drive faster?"
"I'm driving fast."
"Please," he scoffed. "My grandma would get there before you did. On foot!"
"You don't have a grandma."
"I did."
"Are you talking about when she was young or when she was old enough to be your grand-mother? Was she a good runner?"
"Probably when she was young. I don't think she got to be old. She died before I was born."
"I'm sorry."
"Why? I never met her."
"I'm sorry if I'm being slow."
"Don't apologize. Drive faster."
I smirked, remembering something.
"What?"
"You called me Jake."
The drive to Port Angeles lasted much less than I expected, due to Edward's protests of my slowness. Each time I got faster it wasn't enough. If he drove a car while I was in it, I had a feeling I would have a panic attack. How fast was he used to drive? He must be a demon…on the road!
We were now entering a not so known small restaurant called "The Mullet". It would take a lot of my time trying to understand what kind of drugs the owners are on, so I won't even bother. I want to see the waiters with the hairstyle though. Oh, the eighties!
Edward got in first and I couldn't help but watch and admire the way his ass moved in front of me, in those dark-wash jeans. I had borrowed Emmett's jeans and a black V-neck T-shirt. Edward's clothes wouldn't fit me, that was for sure. He had a slim, yet defined, body, mine was more like bulky. And I was much taller than him. Bear's stuff was a little bit large for me, though. Just a little bit, ok? Don't exaggerate. Edward was covered upwards with a white sweatshirt. He really looked good in sweatshirts. I don't know what has gone through his mind to start wearing these kinds of clothes, not that I object. He looked like a real teenager. The adult shoes he usually wore were replaced by brand new white Air Force Nikes. What's with the white? I had no idea what kind of sneakers I was wearing, but they were comfortable enough. He was also wearing a black scarf and gloves. For that I was glad. His nose was red enough as it was.
We chose a small table away from the crowded area (our talks weren't exactly what people needed to hear nowadays) and sat. He seemed relieved to be inside. Not that I noticed it, but it must have been really cold outside.
Five minutes later a waitress came to get us our menus. Edward didn't seem to pay much attention to her, but I didn't like a bit the way she was staring at him. Is it possible to fuck someone with your eyes? Not because I wanted her to look at me instead, no. She wasn't even that pretty: brown hair, blue eyes, skinny, nice tits though, but I bet they were fake. Not only it was a disrespectful act, because she was acting like I wasn't even there, but yes, I was fucking jealous. No one should look at him that way besides me…and Bella (they were engaged after all, I just hoped that would change soon). Yep, I was definitely falling for him.
I decided to see what was there good enough to eat, taking a look at my menu. Edward was reading his in pure concentration, his brows furrowed.
I laughed my ass off when I saw that the specialty of the place was their mullet with sautéed vegetables. I was pretty conscious everyone in the restaurant had shut up and was looking at me, but I didn't care. Edward was no exception and was giving me the oddest stare.
"Jacob, are you okay?" he asked, lowly, looking around embarrassed.
"I was really hoping to see the hairstyle! Damn it," I said, dramatically, laughing harder.
Edward smiled, but it looked more like a grimace as he leaned closer and looked around, nodding once to some fucker.
"Jacob," he hissed."What's going on?" he whispered/yelled.
"When I saw the name of the restaurant I thought the waiters would have that eighties' hairstyle, but…" I couldn't talk. "Just read the menu!" he did as I said. His eyes travelled down the page until he stopped and looked up, eyeing me disapprovingly.
"What?" I said and he simply shook his head.
Leave it alone to Edward to laugh when he's not supposed to and not do it when it is.
Or maybe you're the one who's stupid and he knew all along a mullet was a kind of fish.
"Have you picked yet?" I tried to change the subject.
"No, I did not," he frowned. "Is ice-cream good?"
"Yeah, it is good, but it's a dessert."
"Oh. Am I supposed to eat things like rice and pasta and stuff before eating dessert?"
"Yep."
"That sucks," I chuckled.
"You can have that after soup, for example."
"Does it taste nice?"
"It depends of what soup it is, I think. I'm not very fond of it, but maybe you'll like it."
"Okay. I guess I'll take that first, then."
"I'm picking the mullet," I cackled. "Might at least be healthy just once."
"Me, too."
We ordered our food and Miss Eye-fucker swayed her hips as she walked to tell the cookers what it was. So subtle…Not! What was she trying to show? Her ass bones or the skin that covered them? I didn't respect whores, not a bit, but some of them at least could give some view to a man and make him hard, but holy shit this one didn't have a mirror at home!
We had both ordered coke. Well, I ordered coke for us as soon as the word wine started getting out of his mouth (because he thinks he's a very grown-up man and can drink alcohol, worse: he think it tastes nice) and then reminded him he wasn't twenty-one yet. He answered me by scoffing and informing he was older than my own father. I retorted he had to be careful with his health, then. "But I'm seventeen!" he replied. Do you see my point? How confusing can it be? I could have easily asked for the bottle and drink it, as long as they made sure Edward didn't touch it. I could pass as a twenty-five-year-old, but his physical appearance screamed "I'm a minor!"
Edward practically devoured his soup and much to my surprise he didn't get any on his face or clothes afterwards. He needed to use the napkin though, of course. However, he was making faces as he ate his fish. I really didn't want to think about its name or I would crack up laughing.
"I don't like mullet," he said, quietly and I choked. Man, I'm trying over here!
"Me neither," I choked out between coughs, trying to contain my laugh.
The waitress came soon to take our almost full dishes and ask what we wanted to have then. Guess what? She noticed me! Joy. Now she started an Eye – ménage à trois! She is creepy, she is a slut, she is bitchy, she is a klutz, she's E-Y-E-F-U-C-k-E-R-W-H-O-R-E! Ok, the klutz part was made to rhyme, 'cause I think she walked just fine, not gracefully, but she didn't trip or anything.
As expected, Edward ordered chocolate ice-cream and I chose the same, but mine was strawberry. It was nice to see that finally something was making him at least just a little bit excited. I hadn't seen him react to basically anything since we'd arrived the restaurant. Normally no one distasted ice-cream, but it would actually suck if he did so, because he'd be disappointed. Luckily, the ice-cream was pretty good and Edward let it melt in his mouth, while he closed his eyes. He seemed to be enjoying himself and I smiled at it. Watching him savoring a simple, yet precious, moment made me feel warm inside.
Edward paid for our lunch, obviously. I hadn't brought any money with me and I wasn't exactly a rich prick, so I didn't put up a fight with him. I wouldn't even if I did have money. 'Cause it's fucking stupid when people fight over shit like that. I mean, if someone is offering to pay the bill and being generous, why the trouble? Snooty people are not smart people. Money is more important than pride, that's what I use to say.
It was now almost three in the afternoon. It didn't bother me a bit, but it was fucking cold in Port Angeles. It wasn't a wet cold, thankfully, but the air was truly icy. As I use to say: Antarctic heat. Edward's body didn't react nicely to this kind of weather, that much was obvious. He had already scared a little kid away with the chattering of his teeth and, if possible, his hair had gotten even messier, sticking up to every direction. His lips had gained a purplish color and his freckles were more noticeable. We needed to go indoors before he caught hypothermia.
"Hey, man, do you want to go and watch a movie?" I suggested, fighting the urge to say something stupid like: "If you want to, blink once, if not blink twice." I think he could at least nod or shake his head.
"O-o-o-k-k-k-k-a-a-y," Oh, good, he can talk. He stutters, but he talks.
Once we were inside the theatre, we went to choose a movie. Edward made a face to almost every poster, but stopped, suddenly, as his eyes lit up and he pointed with his thumb. I walked over to where he was.
""Rio"?" Seriously, Edward?"
"We're not twenty-one yet," it was all he said, as he left me standing there staring at his back and went to pay for the tickets.
Although animated films were not really my type (maybe because dad had told me to man up and start watching action movies), I was enjoying myself. A lot. It was fucking hilarious. Most of the people in the room were parents with their kids, which made me think two men watching talking birds was ridiculous, but did I care? Nope. There were a few people our age, too. We were sitting in the back of the room, away from everybody. It was Edward's decision, but I went freely along with it. I preferred it this way, too. He didn't laugh as much as I did, he simply chuckled from time to time and smiled weakly. He wasn't really into it; I could see that, but I guess it's pretty understandable. He's taking this pretty well…too well. This would only make things worse.
When the movie ended, I got up to leave, but Edward's now warm hand stopped me. I looked down at him and, even in the dark, I could perfectly see his puppy-dog emerald eyes, pleading with me, but I had no idea what he wanted. He pushed my arm gently and I leaned forward.
"Wait a moment. Don't leave now. Please," his voice sounded scared as he whispered his plea in my ear and I sat immediately, taking a closer look at him. He seemed to be hiding himself in that spot, sliding down on his seat so no one could see him and was trembling slightly.
Symptom 1.Shit, I knew something like this would happen sooner or later. Until now he had stayed away from big crowds, but there were too many people now, all leaving the room at the same time. Of course he was scared. I was scared myself. I was scared someone just grabbed him and he got hurt. I was scared he simply disappeared. I needed him and I wasn't afraid to admit it. He was an important part of my life now. If some male stranger touched him I'm sure I would slip and carry him over my shoulder all the way home. He didn't trust people. He had all the rights to not do so. It was still early and he was doing well. I didn't expect him to just go back to the same he was before and get over it. I'd actually waited for the moment he would finally freak out, because it seemed normal to me, given the circumstances.
I crouched in front of him and took his hand. I used my left one to put a hand on his shoulder, rubbing it, trying to comfort him.
"I'll wait. Don't worry. It's okay," I said, gently and he squeezed my hand.
"Thank you."
We stayed there and waited until the crowd vanished.
"There's no one here. No reason to be afraid. We can go now," I encouraged him. "Are you ready? Do you want to go?"
He nodded curtly and we both got up. We took a step at the same time and took it back simultaneously.
"Uh…after you," he said.
"No, you go first," I tried to be polite and I could see he was trying, too. But let me tell you: that shit was fucking pathetic, because we were no ladies, so we just shrugged it off and Edward went first. Of course, I joked a little about the awkward situation and I couldn't be happier when he gave me a warm smile in return. I was so proud of him.
It wasn't as cold as before, so we decided to just walk around the city. It didn't have much interesting to see, not in my opinion; it was kind of a commercial place. Not my thing, really. I didn't like too crowded places nor concrete pavements every-fucking-where. This place is sort of useful because it's the closest to Forks where you can go shopping. The damn town not even a theatre has. Oh, but I do know of some bitches that love Port Angeles. We had just bumped into them.
"Edward! What on Earth are you doing here?" a high-pitched voice said and Edward cringed. I saw it belonged to a blonde tall girl. She was average, to a certain point, I guess there had to be some guy interested.
"Oh, hey, Lauren," he greeted, not too enthusiastically. No, Ed, no one noticed you were bored or annoyed. No one. "Yeah, you know, just hanging out…with…" he pointed his thumb at me. "…Jacob."
"Weren't you like…ready to kill each other the other day at school…because of…y'know…Bella?" Before, I would have been angry by the way she spat her name, but now I had the weird attitude of internally screaming Go, Blondie!
"Oh, that," he shoved her off. "It was just a misunderstanding. We're good now."
"Well, that's good to hear," she smiled. "Where is she?"
"She's in Seattle with the Chief," I answered for him.
"Mm," she stared at him and her eyes widened. "I swear I've never noticed you had freckles."
"Oh, well, but I do," he said, nervously.
"Hey, are you wearing contacts?"
"Uh…no, this is my natural color," it wasn't a lie.
"It looks awesome on you."
"Thanks."
"I like your clothes," she commented.
"Yeah, me, too," it took me a while to understand I had said it out loud, because Lauren was giving me a funny look, Edward the oddest stare and Jessica, I think her name was, well…I couldn't quite figure out her expression. Her eyes kept travelling from him to me. She looked sort of fascinated with something. We were silent for a few moments, the girls looking at us, as we observed our feet. Hey, nice shoes. Are those Vans?It was actually a cool activity, I liked my borrowed footwear. Awkward? Nah.
"My God, you two are so hot!"
I raised my head to find who had spoken – Jessica, who was smiling like crazy. I guess she couldn't contain it any longer. Oh, women! Lauren was blushing furiously. Edward cleared his throat.
"We should get going. It was nice to see you. Bye," before we knew it he had started walking. I waved goodbye to them and followed him. Behind me I could hear them giggling like the high school bitches they were. Whatever…
We kept walking until we got into a desert place, not far away from the woods. I didn't know where we were going nor did I care, but this place was probably the best area I had seen in Port Angeles. There was no one there at the moment. It had a few houses, but most of them were abandoned. On the other side of the road we could see a small old park. It seemed so dead, but at the same time so alive. Never mind me, I have these confusing thoughts frequently. We had both noticed it so I decided to go there. Edward followed me. We sat immediately on the swings, listening to their squeaking and the hissing of the wind.
"My sisters and I used to go to parks all the time when we were kids," I decided to start a conversation and Edward turned his attention to me.
"Really?" he seemed genuinely interested.
"Yeah. I miss those times," I smiled at the memories. "No matter what people say, the truth is everyone has been a child before, everyone was innocent once."
"Yeah," he agreed.
"What about you? Don't you have good memories of your childhood?"
"I don't remember much," he shrugged, then a small smile slowly filled his expression. "Wait…yeah, I remember when my dad and I played baseball together and when I did something wrong he used to steal my cap so I had to run after him," I laughed when I tried to imagine it. In a few months, I hoped I could see a small version of Edward and eventually play with him. I loved children. I just crossed my fingers so the baby wouldn't be like him, whoever the fucker was. I didn't care if he was good-looking.
"And when Dad invited his friends from work for dinner, Mom always made pie. I loved her pie," it was amazing the adoration he carried in his voice and I realized something. Edward had always been against Bella turning into a vampire and now I had a feeling I knew why. He had probably had a good life. Life in the literal sense.
"You had a good life, didn't you? That's why you didn't want Bella to become like you were."
"Yeah," he confirmed. "In that time, things weren't exactly nice, but my family was an exception. In our house, there was no sign of financial problems. My mom and dad didn't marry because their parents decided for them. No, they were in love. And both loved and cared about me. They always made sure I grew up healthy and happy, not forgetting to teach me good manners and giving me a decent education. Most only children wanted a brother or sister, but I was pretty content with what I had. I had all the love I needed as it was."
"You had money?" Seriously, hadn't he ever been poor?
"My dad was a successful lawyer in Chicago," he explained.
"That's why you have its picture in your room."
"Yeah."
"City boy," I mumbled.
We were silent for the next minutes, just watching the trees shaking and the sun falling. It would have felt good, if it wasn't for the damn metal seat that was hurting my ass. I got up and sat on the floor, Indian-style, instead. The concrete wasn't much better than the swing, but whatever. A few seconds later, Edward came and sat next to me. It mustn't have been nice for his perfect ass (don't even dare to judge my pervert thoughts) either. I noticed he was shivering. It was still cold, but not so much, it was just windy. I approached him.
"Come here," he did as I said and put my arm around his shoulders. He leaned into me automatically. It was twilight now and if I thought it felt amazing to simply watch it, it didn't compare to how it felt to watch it with Edward in my arms. It had only started a few hours ago, but I hadn't ever felt more at peace my whole life. I stared at the beauty of the vivid green forest as well as the colorful now clear sky.
"It's beautiful," I murmured, since we had both grown to enjoy the silence or the low talking, so we could hear what other wonderful sounds Mother Nature offered. Edward nodded against my neck. "Better?" I asked, referring to his body's temperature. I already knew the answer, he was warm, but I just needed to know how he felt.
"Uh-uh," I smiled and rested my cheek on his head.
We stayed there for an hour or so. Edward checked his watch, saying it was now seven o'clock. He decided it was time to go home so we got up to leave. We had no idea where we were, so it would be better if we went how we came. However, above the mass of the trees, I could see the top of a big building I had noticed when I parked his Aston. Oh, the Aston…Anyway, it would take a fucking long time and would cost Edward aching feet if we went the same way, so I suggested we used a different path, going through the woods. I found a thin trail which we followed and, after a couple of minutes, we reached a small library. Edward eyed it curiously and so did I: there were Quileute books. Now, I wasn't really interested since I already knew all the legends, but he liked reading so I asked him if he wanted to take a look.
"It's getting pretty late. Maybe next time."
We followed a dark alley that lead to a desert street. Edward's breathing was coming in short gusts of air and I became worried. Was he in pain or something? I asked if he was okay, but I didn't get much. It was always the same answer: "I'm fine." Once we reached the street, he had started hyperventilating and I couldn't avoid it anymore. I had to know what was going on.
I didn't get to do so, because the moment I put my hand on his shoulder he jumped and took a step back.
"Edward? What's going on?"
"No, no," he shook his head, his expression of pure horror, as he slowly backed away. "Not again," he mumbled, mostly to himself. And then he started running.
I have to tell you: he's fucking fast even as a human. I ran after him, because I knew he wouldn't stop until he got lost or something happened. But it wasn't needed. This time, I blessed his semi-clumsiness, because if he hadn't tripped I wouldn't have caught him. I kneeled beside him to see if he was alright. Well, of course, he wasn't alright. I was trying to see if he was physically alright. As he turned his face to me, the fear filled his eyes again and, still on the ground, he tried to move away from me.
"No, please," he cried, shaking his head. "Don't. Not again," he sobbed. "Not again."
It didn't take too much to figure out what was going on. At first, it scared the shit out of me not knowing why he was reacting like this so suddenly, but now I had to calm myself and then figure out a way to bring him back. Symptom 2 –panic attack. I had no idea what I should do, I had never gone through this nor had I ever witness it. And as you know, I wasn't a fucking professional in psychology. But I had to figure out a way to end this situation. I tried to take his hand in mine, but he flinched. I knew I was taking a big risk and would possibly make things much worse, but I had to try. I took his face in m hands, obliging him to look at me.
"Look at me," I ordered as he grabbed my wrists, trying to push me away. "Edward, look at me! It's me, man. It's Jacob. I'm not going to hurt you. I'm not going to do anything. It's just me, it's okay."
He refused to give in at first, but slowly he managed to recognize me and calm himself until the point he was barely panting and simply trembling.
"Jake?" he choked out.
"It's me," I hugged him as he sobbed into my chest. "It's just me," I caressed his hair. "It's okay."
But was it really?
AN: It's up, finally *sigh* Thank you for reading and reviewing and also for adding my stories to your favorites. If there is an orthographic mistake or something like that please let me know. This chapter was longer than I expected and I have to admit I loved it. It was more difficult to write than the others though. Next one will probably take a week or so before I post and it will be a lot more dramatic than this one.
