III: Failures
"And that… is the story of my first greatest failure."
The Ashford Student Council looked at Suzaku with pity on their eyes. All of them looks believable, save for Lelouch's. Deep down, he was cursing Suzaku with all his might but unfortunately, it was not enough.
Thunder lit the sky as all of them stayed quiet to ponder Suzaku's story. Whilst they do not know who he was talking about, they still feel sad because of treatment he or she received from Suzaku.
'A betrayal at its finest.' Lelouch thought. He knew all too well that he was the one Suzaku was talking about in his story. 'And I still haven't forgotten what you did to me, Suzaku.'
"Uhm… ugh," Milly cleared her throat, making Lelouch break his train of thoughts. "Okay, your turn Lelouch!"
All of them turned to him with expectant look on their faces and urged the black-haired teenager to share something about his first greatest failure.
"C'mon, Lulu!" Shirley exclaimed. "Tell us something about your greatest failure!"
"Yeah!" Milly agreed, "It will really help you to lose those guilt you've kept for a very long time!"
Lelouch scrunched his face in worry. He does not know if it would actually really help if he opened up to his friends and it would really not help if his enemy was right in front of him when he tells his story.
"Oi! Oi! My brother clearly doesn't want to tell his so don't try to pressure him!" Rolo, his fake brother, defended.
Lelouch narrowed his eyes at the little dimwit. He's really acting like as if they were really brothers and not predator and prey. He knew everything about him and it makes him sick to think that he let someone replace his sister.
"As far as I know, my brother was the type of person to not let a friend go behind. He always helps them whatever they were going through!"
"Oh, yeah?" Suzaku sardonically blurted. "How did you know that he did not failed someone?"
Rolo's lips twitched in anger-a habit he always does when he close to explode in anger.
"I know it because he's my brother! I know everything about him, you nuts!"
Amused was the right word to describe Lelouch's feelings when Rolo blurted that out. Then slowly, as if it was melting like ice, he felt anger.
'Oh, really?' He sarcastically thought. 'You knew everything about me?'
"Rolo," Lelouch mustered a brotherly façade to his fake brother, "it's alright. I think Milly's right."
"What? But brother!" Rolo blurted out.
"I think it would help me to release the guilt I was feeling, Rolo."
"Okay!" Milly suddenly blurted out. "Remember the rules, Lelouch."
"Yeah, yeah, I know, Milly. Not about greatest failure on family or anything that resembles it… just pure greatest failure on friend."
Milly smirked, "Then good! You're all set!"
'You watch Rolo and Suzaku. You two think you know me well?'
"I once had a friend," Lelouch started. "No, I think the correct word is… a brother."
"Remember the rules, Lelouch." Milly reminded, "No family."
"Just let me finish, Milly! Geez…" Lelouch exclaimed.
"Okay, okay! You go!"
Lelouch cleared his throat and continued, keeping an eye on Suzaku and Rolo's reactions.
"As I was saying before I was rudely interrupted by someone," he shot Milly a glare, "I have a friend whom I treated as a brother."
"We rarely saw each other because he always has something to do. When we do, we spent times having fun, doing anything we can before we part once again."
"He was like me," Lelouch became solemn as he delved deeper and deeper to his memories, "Aloof, never cared for anything except family, insensitive, and never afraid to speak up."
"What… what happened to him?" Milly choked out.
'You should know, Milly. He was the first man you've ever loved. Pity you never remembered that.' Lelouch thought bitterly.
"I was helping someone that time…"
"Where do you want me to put these boxes?"
Twelve-year-old Lelouch asked as he balanced the boxes on his arms. "C'mon, Dick! I'm starting to get tired from carrying these!"
"Oh, c'mon, 'Louch! You can bench press several armored trucks and not get tired from it but you're basically whining because you're carrying three boxes!"
Lelouch snorted, "C'mon, I'm hungry!"
"Fine, fine. Place it right there." He pointed at the corner of the room and Lelouch quickly placed it there, arranging it first before stepping away from it.
"There!"
Lelouch was about to get the last remaining boxes when his phone started ringing in his pants' pocket. He took it out and immediately answered without taking a look at the caller ID.
"Lelouch, speaking."
"Have you heard?" Barbara's panicked-laced voice penetrated his ear the moment after he finished speaking.
"Heard about what?" Was his confused answer.
"Who's that?" Dick shouted from the other side of the room they were in.
Lelouch never bothered to cover the phone's speaker and shouted a reply. "It's Barbara!"
"What does she want?"
"Dunno!" He turned his attention back to the caller to find out about her call.
"What is it, Babs?"
"Lelouch, Jason's been kidnapped!"
"At first, I felt confident that my friend could escape his kidnapper. He was a warrior, actually. Knew how to fight bad guys to save people and himself. Took down men twice larger than him and he's good at it." Lelouch sighed as he continued telling his story the night Jason was taken.
He never said his name to them, just using the pronoun 'he' as well as using it for Dick and 'she' for Barbara. They reason for it was because they don't know them… and he has no reason to tell their identity to someone he does not completely trusts (Rolo and Suzaku).
"I guess, I overestimated him. I also underestimated his kidnapper."
Lelouch tried his very best to keep the tears at bay and he was successful although someone can already see that he is close to breaking down.
"His own mother gave him to his kidnapper. The fucker beat him with a crowbar and left him bleeding on the cold, hard floor of a warehouse with his mother."
Lelouch stole a glance at Suzaku and Rolo's direction to see their skeptical looks. He immediately knew the things that runs inside their mind: they don't believed him.
"They tried to get out but the kidnapper locked it from the outside. They were scared when they saw that the kidnapper left a bomb."
He heard Shirley's gasped out loud and saw Milly with her head down. Deep down he knew that Milly was feeling lonely despite her memory loss. Jason became a part of her life, for christ's sake. Even if she forgot about him, her feelings would still remember him as if she hasn't lost her memory.
"He protected his mother, you know? Even though she practically shove him to his kidnapper." Lelouch felt angry with Sheila. She was not fit to become a mother to any child nor trustworthy enough around children.
"Anyways," Lelouch inhaled deeply, "My other friend, the one who called me, informed their whereabouts and I tried to go there… but I was too late."
Shirley and Milly did not bothered to hide the fact that they were already crying because of Lelouch's story. Rivalz, on the other hand, tried to but the sniffles coming from him gave him away.
Rolo and Suzaku were a different story.
Their faces displayed no emotion, not even an ounce of empathy for Lelouch's friend. That's okay to Lelouch-after all, those two were just heartless murders and hypocrites that does not even care for someone.
And they have the nerve to call him a demon, a heartless one at that.
"I hunted his killer down in hopes to avenge my fallen friend. I was so close in killing him but he always slips beneath my finger.
"Time and time, I became frustrated. Our mentor wanted to avenge him, too, but he believed that it was not worth it to kill him. He doesn't want to stain his hands with blood, much less the one that belongs to a killer."
"What… what happened?" Rivalz sniffled. "Did you managed to kill him?"
Lelouch shook his head and went in explanation, "I never had a chance. There were some close calls but it was never enough. I did not gave up, I'm even willing to continue hunting him down but I had to."
"Why?" Suzaku said, a serious note on his tone was apparent although left unnoticed by the rest of the Student Council. "Why did you gave up?"
"Because I had to… for Nunnally… and for my friends, whom I neglected for a very long time to focus on my mission."
"I think what you did was right, Lelouch." Milly but in, earning some nods of agreement from Shirley and Rivalz."I think your friend won't like it if you kill to avenge his death. A true friend would never let his friend kill someone."
'That's where you're wrong, Milly. There was nothing on this world that Jason loves more than killing Joker to pay for his crimes.'
"And besides, Lulu," Shirley wiped her tears and made a small smile, "I think it's good that you never killed your father's killer… because I know that you will not do anything to taint your hands with blood."
Lelouch expertly hid the sadness that he felt when Shirley said that. Contrary to her belief, he had already killed thousands (if not, millions) of people, both innocent and sinners, to seek justice for his mother. He did not even pause just to think about and he just kill and kill and he guess he would only stop once he gave his mother's death a justice.
He looked down at his hands and was not surprised when he saw an imaginary blood on his hands. Shouts of help and curses aimed at him clouded his brain, a punishment by those he had killed.
And he knew it would haunt him until the day he dies.
A man looked up at the evening sky of Gotham and sighed.
He now has resources to kill him. The only thing he waits for is the right timing and it is fastly approaching.
His thoughts changed and he remembers his friend.
What was he doing now?
Is he having his revenge?
And his thoughts took into darker path.
Why hasn't he avenged me?!
He doesn't know-he doesn't even have any answers.
But he will find them out.
