Mere moments ago, he was completely focused. His mind was clear, all his energy and determination focused on a single task: finding Luke. Then he did find him; realizing what he had to do, he picked up the gun, pulled the trigger, and time froze. For a moment that seemed to last forever, he stared at Col. Mayer's lifeless form, unable to move, unable to think, unable to feel.

"Should have remembered what you taught me," he whispered. "Never leave your weapon unattended."

He has killed his own father.

And then, suddenly, Noah's gaze fell on Luke – tied up, hurt, having clearly gone through a terrible ordeal. His wrist went limp and he carelessly released his grip on the gun, the sound of it hitting the floor seemingly echoing a lot louder than it should have. The paralysis he'd experienced melted away as quickly as it had come.

Noah strode over to Luke, the horror of realizing what had happened to his boyfriend the only thing on his mind now. "Luke, oh my God…" he said shakily, quickly getting to work on the length of rope around Luke's hands. His father tied a strong knot, but Noah had learned the same tricks and was able to undo it within seconds.

Luke used his renewed freedom of movement to throw his arms around Noah as tightly as if his life depended on it. "Noah…" he breathed, obviously stunned, "I don't understand, how did you find me?"

"We can talk about that later," Noah said, gladly folding Luke into his arms with no intention to let go any time soon. "Luke," he pulled back so he could look him in the face, "Are you okay?"

"I am," Luke promised, nodding. "Well, I am now, that's for sure," he added with, unbelievably enough, a smile on his face – the barest of smiles, that was still enough to pull Noah from the deepest pits of desperation.

They clung to each other, and a minute or two passed by in silence. Noah struggled with the knowledge of what Luke had gone through, feeling broken and guilty. "Luke, I'm so sorry…" he whispered into the other man's shoulder, on the verge of tears.

"It's okay." Luke sounded pained and fragile, like he might cry, too. It was clear to Noah that neither of them was really okay, that this sure as hell wasn't okay, but he pushed that knowledge to the back of his mind. For now, he needed them to stay in each other's arms and forget everything else. Just for a little while.

*

Margo had apparently done her job, because they were eventually joined by the police and the FBI in the warehouse. Each of them described the night's events to the officers from his perspective. Luke felt a chill down his spine when they reached the last relevant bit – Noah shooting Col. Mayer. He hadn't spared a thought to how this would appear to the police, perhaps because he hadn't had the strength to deal with it. He was immensely relieved when they seemed to accept Noah's version of events. Luke was also offered medical attention, but stated truthfully that he'd rather just go home as soon as possible.

When Luke had called his family to let them know he was okay, it sounded like his mother might have a breakdown right there on the phone. She promised to rebook them on a flight back to Illinois that very day. He reminisced a bit sadly on how their romantic getaway was completely destroyed, but getting home was really the most important thing to him at the moment.

Noah was unusually quiet – which was saying something, considering he wasn't exactly a chatterbox to begin with – on the way back to the hotel. As they returned to their room, showered, got something to eat and went back to pack their things, they talked very little, and everything they did say was unrelated to what had happened. Luke knew Noah was extremely troubled at the moment, to say the least, but didn't want to pressure him; that was one mistake he was definitely not going to repeat.

The silence between them continued over the flight and on the way from the airport to the Snyder farm, which started to concern Luke. Don't say anything, he told himself over and over again. Give him time. Their arrival was expectedly met with bone-crushing hugs and endless questions of whether Luke was okay. He thought he noticed Lily about to ask him for a more detailed account of what had happened, but stop after a meaningful look from Holden. She practically smothered Noah while kissing him on the cheek and thanking him for saving her son's life, and Luke could tell his boyfriend was feeling distinctly uncomfortable. Though they had some tea and cookies at his grandmother's insistence, Luke then stated that he thought it would be best for them go up to bed. Noah wordlessly followed him, and even as Luke glanced back at Emma, it was clear that the rules were being put on hold tonight.

As they changed, Luke was getting desperate for Noah to say something, anything. He'd settle for Noah shouting that he hates the world and breaking a lamp, or something. But the silent treatment continued. He forgot about that, though, when they got into bed and he felt Noah's arms wrap lovingly around him.

"Good night," Noah murmured into Luke's hair, and as far as he was concerned, these two words would do until morning.

"Good night."

*

The next morning, Luke's beside clock informed him that it was nearly ten when he woke up. He was tremendously grateful that it was Sunday. Thankfully, his sleep had not been disturbed by any nightmares about the warehouse, though he was pretty sure those would come eventually. Sleepily rubbing the crusts out of his eyes, he glanced backwards at Noah, who was still fast asleep. He gently slipped out of Noah's embrace and off the bed.

Fifteen minutes later, Luke entered the kitchen to find a rather bizarre sight: the table was completely set, yet no one was present except his father, who sat down reading the paper. Upon hearing Luke enter, he put it down and offered his son a small smile.

"Morning. How are you feeling?" he asked.

"Morning… I'm good," Luke replied, taking a seat before Holden. "Well, I've been better, but since I didn't spend the night tied up on the floor of some warehouse, I'm not complaining."

This bit of morbid humor earned him a slightly disapproving glare from his father, but frankly, he was the only one Luke could use it with. "So, uh… what is this about?" he wondered, gesturing with his head towards the empty seats around the table.

"We thought it would be a good idea to have a family breakfast today," Holden explained, "but obviously, we wanted to wait to you, or the whole exercise would be pretty pointless. Is Noah up yet? We could wait for him, too."

"Nah, he's still asleep and I think he'd feel pretty bad about holding breakfast for that long. We should eat and just save him something. Besides," he added with a slight tilt of his head, "I'm not sure he'd be too keen on a family breakfast right now, if you know what I mean."

The look in Holden's eyes clarified that he did, and Luke was grateful that his father always got him that way. Holden went to get everyone, and once they'd gone through the routine of hugs, kisses and questions about Luke's well-being once more – he appreciated their concern a great deal, but couldn't help feeling awkward – he was happy to just enjoy small talk and Emma's cooking. When Lily wondered how Noah was doing, Luke did his best to give a minimal reply and steer the conversation away. He noticed the tension between his parents, too – they probably didn't have breakfast together too often these days – but for once, he didn't dwell on their marital problems. He had more pressing issues on his mind at the moment.

Not really in the mood for anything, he went to watch some reruns on TV, Faith and Natalie joining him after a while. This provided welcome distraction for a couple of hours, but he eventually decided to go find Noah. On his way upstairs, thinking Noah might still be there, he spotted him through the window. Noah was sitting on the grass before the Snyder pond, looking out at the horizon.

After the briefest of hesitations, Luke exited the house and tentatively made his way over to his boyfriend. "Hey," he smiled, gripping Noah's shoulder as to both show affection and help himself into a sitting position as well. Noah smiled back, though rather thinly, before returning his eyes to the water. "You sure slept in today. Or were you tossing and turning all night?"

"I honestly didn't think I'd sleep at all," Noah admitted. "I kept replaying yesterday in my mind, kept seeing my father's dead body … I thought it was just going to haunt me from now on. But then I thought about you, lying next to me, and I realized he can never hurt you again. And I slept well after that," he said, turning to flash Luke a warmer, wider smile.

Luke thought he was probably blushing. Damn you, Mayer, for making me out to be an eight-year-old girl. Though this comment of Noah's had deeply affected him, he had a feeling they had not said everything yet. "Listen, Noah…" he started awkwardly, not really knowing the right words to say. "I really wish you hadn't had to go through that. No one should have to kill their own father, no one deserves to be put in that position."

"I'm sorry that I had to do it," said Noah, his voice somewhat distant, his eyes still fixed on the pond. "But I'm not sorry that I did. Not because he deserved to die, even though he did… because he was about to kill you. And I would do the same thing a million times over."

Luke honestly didn't know what to say, but it appeared Noah wasn't done. "I just wish there was more I could do, I wish I could make everything right."

"What do you mean?"

"Luke, my father – my father – pushed you down a hill and put you in a wheelchair for months. He tried to kill you with a syringe. He kidnapped and almost shot you. No matter what I do, I can't take that pain away."

"Noah," Luke said firmly, taking hold of the other man's arm. "We've had this conversation. Heck, everyone's had this conversation with you. You are not your father, and the things he did are not your fault."

"Doesn't change the fact that if you hadn't met me, you wouldn't have gone through any of that," Noah muttered. "And it kills me, Luke, because you're the last person who deserves to suffer that way."

Rather desperate, Luke tried a different approach. "How about you look at it this way," he said, "Yes, your father put me in a wheelchair, and you got me out of it. Not just by helping me with these stupid exercises – you gave me hope, you helped me believe that I could walk again. I wouldn't have if it wasn't for you. Your father kidnapped me in San Diego, and you came for me and saved my life. Did you even stop to think about that?"

"What about the times that I hurt you, Luke?" Noah's voice started to shake. "I married a girl I barely knew to help her, and was willing to hide our relationship to do that. I blamed you for my father killing himself, which is even more ridiculous now that we know he didn't really do that. I enlisted after you begged me to stay. Do you really deserve a boyfriend like that?"

"Noah!" Luke protested. "Look at me. Please." At long last, Noah tore his eyes away from the water to meet Luke's. "You need to listen. We've both gone through terrible things, apart and together. We never let them break us, and we're not going to do that now. We were strong enough to make it through everything, Noah, that's what counts."

A quiet moment passed between them, during which Luke did his best to convey the truthfulness of what he'd just said to Noah through the look in his eyes. And then Noah captured his lips in a searing kiss, one that was filled with emotion and intensity and need and want and Luke honestly thought he might pass out before Noah pulled away. He didn't mind in the slightest, though.

When they did eventually pull away, grinning ever so slightly at each other, there was another moment of silence before Luke said quietly, "Just know that whatever you need, we're here for you. Despite everything, despite the fact that he was definitely not on my Christmas list, and that it saved my life, I'm sorry you had to kill him."

"He was a monster," Noah said without a hint of doubt or hesitation. "And you're the man I love. I'm just glad I'm not afraid to say either of these things anymore."

Luke felt his heart flutter in his chest. The literal and figurative darkness of the warehouse and Col. Mayer was gone; the literal and figurative light of the sun and Noah's dreamy eyes was all he could see.

"So am I."

- End