Disclaimer: We don't own HP or any of the copyrighted stuff.

A/N: Well, I guess it's my turn again! So sorry it's taking so long, but I've just finished my senior year of high school, and I do have my own stories to update on my account apart from mine and Reneey's adventures here. :)

Oh, shut up, I have stories on my account, too...

Then how come you don't UPDATE them?

I do!

WITHOUT my co-authoring/betaing?

... Shut up.

rolls eyes Anyway, it's the story you're here for, not to hear us banter. Oh, and by the way; if you want to flame, go ahead. We'll make a joke out of it and move on with our lives. XD

And they will be used to roast people! ... And/or food... Most likely food...

Yeah, no reenacting of the Salem witch burnings. Or I shall poke you with my newly polished scythe! :D

Things You Should Never Do at Hogwarts #005: Practice Curses in Potions Class

"I'm bored."

"Me, too."

"I'm bored more!"

"No, you're not. You can't be more bored than I am."

"It's easy to be more bored," Lyn objected, whacking Reneey in the head for no apparent reason. "If I were to stop talking, I would be more bored because I wouldn't have talking to you as a distraction."

Reneey looked confused. "Yeah, well.. I have a skull plushie!"

"And I have a perfect O average, that totally trumps your skull plushie any day of the week."

"Oh, yeah, after a couple of days at school. Anyway, you don't have to throw the fact that you're a genius in my face, you know..."

"I'm not a genius, I just actually try to do my schoolwork. When's the last time you did that, Rea?"

"Hrm.. never."

"Exactly."

Suddenly the bell rang and interrupted their conversation. Lyn's eyes widened. "We shouldn't be standing here and being bored!" she cried, pulling Reneey up from where they had been sitting in the courtyard. "We should be in our first Potions class!"

"But I don't wanna go to Potions class," Reneey objected.

"I don't care," Lyn said, dragging her into the castle and down the steps to the dungeons. "I'm going because I like Potions and you're going because I'm dragging you!"

"Then quit dragging me!"

"NO!"

"But Lyn, class has already started! Snape already hates me, he'll kill me!"

"No, he won't. We'll sneak in."

"How?"

"By being loco loony," Lyn said simply. However, their usual coming-into-class-late distractions weren't even required this time, because there were a couple of Slytherin boys coming in late at exactly the same. Thankfully, they were built like refrigerators, and the two girls slipped in behind them without being noticed. At least, they thought they had.

"You!" Snape hissed suddenly, and Lyn looked up.

"Yes, sir?" she asked politely.

"What are you doing there?" he asked suspiciously.

Lyn glanced around and suddenly realized that she was the only Gryffindor on this side of the classroom. She blinked at Snape and said slowly, "Er, I'm sitting with my friend, sir."

Snape gave her a suspicious sort of look, but then went on with the roll call. Thankfully, he hadn't passed the E's yet, or else Lyn would have been toast when he called for "Elumo, Lyndotia." Reneey was at the end of the list, so she only had to worry if she was so late that she missed the roll completely. When Snape called "Umbra, Irina," she hissed something inaudible that made Lyn laugh silently into the back of her hand before saying that she was present.

"How did he know my first name!?" Reneey demanded as Snape's eyes slid to the next person on the list, a "Weasley, Ronald" who was sitting on the Gryffindor side of the dungeon.

"Dunno, I guess the same way he knew mine. Maybe your parents?"

Reneey grumbled something about her parents being stupid jerks for giving her such a stupid name, and Lyn resisted the urge to roll her eyes because Snape was looking in their direction again, toward the boy sitting next to Reneey whose name was now being called.

Snape finished the roll call and went on to teach class, and to badger Harry for no apparent reason. Lyn didn't like it, but she wasn't about to blow her top and end up with detention for it. At least, not yet.

"So, what are you really doing here?" a quiet voice asked, and Lyn turned to see the boy whose name had just been called looking straight at her with those slanted eyes. "Zabini, Blaise," she recalled; a strange name, especially since the only Blaises that Lyn had ever known before were girls.

"I believe I've already said why I'm here, thanks," she answered coolly.

Blaise's eyes narrowed, but before he could think of a witty answer, Reneey turned around and glared at him. "You calling Lyn a liar?" she demanded, somehow managing to seem threatening despite the fact that she was speaking in barely more than a whisper. Maybe it was the fact that all of the Slytherins knew by now that the Umbra girl had already managed to get four detentions in her first week at Hogwarts -- one of them even before she had ever made it to Hogwarts, in fact; but that was a story for another day.

Then there was the matter of her anonymous accomplice. Naturally, the Slytherins assumed that it was another Slytherin whose name they had yet to learn. However, they didn't know yet that the Gryffindors were thinking precisely the same thing about Lyn and her unknown cohort -- and the truth began to hit Blaise just then.

"Your friend," he said slowly. "The one you got all those detentions with. Was that her?"

"Guilty as charged," Lyn said with a forced smile.

Blaise stared, and suddenly he couldn't take it anymore. "Your great partner in crime is a godforsaken Gryffindor!?"

It was impossible to say who was angrier, Lyn or Reneey. Suddenly Lyn had a strong desire to pull out her wand and attempt a Silencing Charm, even though she knew very well that she couldn't work it. That was much more advanced magic than she could master yet. It might do something completely unexpected, like when young children stole their parents' wands and had no idea what they were doing. However, the greatest chance was that it would do nothing at all.

And so, naturally, she tried the next best thing. Or, well, the next best thing that she could actually work.

"Densaugeo!"

Blaise merely blinked at her for a moment, as if he didn't understand what she was trying to do. Then he tried to smirk and say something about her pathetic spellwork -- when his hand flew to his rapidly enlarging front teeth.

The most he could manage was a muffled sort of strangled yell, which was only loud enough to get the attention of a few other Slytherins, since Snape was currently busy deducting points from Gryffindor for something Harry probably hadn't done to start with.

"What did you do to Blaise!?" demanded a Slytherin girl, who was also built rather like a refigerator.

"Nothing," Reneey said with an attempt at an innocent smile that really turned out to be more of a sadistic grin.

"Then what's wrong with him!?" countered one of the formerly mentioned refrigerator-shaped Slytherin boys, pointing to Blaise's rapidly enlarging front teeth.

Lyn smirked and suggested, "He's kin to a beaver and it's just now starting to show?"

And that was when it started. A blond Slytherin drew his wand and Reneey drew her wand and Blaise drew his wand even though it was useless since he couldn't speak, and the next thing you knew, curses and jinxes and charms were flying.

"Locomotor Mortis!"

"Incendio!"

"Petrificus Totalus!"

"Tarantallegra!"

"Alohomora!"

The mayhem paused momentarily and everyone stared at Reneey.

"What? It's the only thing I can pronounce..."

A few seconds later, after everyone had finished blinking and staring, the calamity continued -- until Snape stopped it all by bellowing, "SILENCE!"

Lyn froze, her wand aimed at the blond Slytherin and a curse half-spoken on her lips. The blond Slytherin, on the other hand, turned even more deathly pale than usual and gave Snape a look reminiscent of a deer caught in the headlights. One of the refrigerator-shaped boys actually dropped his wand in fear, but Reneey just kept twirling hers around for no apparent reason, since she had already admitted that she couldn't pronounce any curses.

"What," Snape hissed into the now heavy silence, "is going on here?"

The Slytherins -- all except Reneey -- exchanged glances and then pointed at Lyn and chorused, "She started it!"

"Look at Blaise's teeth, sir!" a whiny Slytherin girl said emphatically, pointing to Zabini's now foot-long molars.

Snape turned a blotchy sort of red, and his gaze turned to Lyn. With bared teeth, he demanded in a whisper, "And what do you have to say for yourself?"

Lyn smiled sweetly. "Well, Professor Quirrell and Professor Flitwick did advise us to practice curses and general spellwork, sir..."

If it was possible, Snape only looked angrier. "Not in my Potions class! Fifty points from Gryffindor and a detention!"

"Hey, what about them!?" Reneey objected, pointing her wand like a dagger at the other Slytherins, the blond one in particular. "He caught Lynni's robes on fire!"

Snape's gaze turned to Reneey then, and his gaze hardened. "Umbra, detention for speaking out of turn!"

Reneey began to object, but Lyn kicked her behind the cauldron and then she switched her death glare to her loco loony best friend, instead.

"Zabini, get to the hospital wing," Snape spat. "And you two, meet me after class to arrange those detentions..."

As Blaise turned to leave, he managed to mysteriously trip over something in Reneey's general vicinity and a stack of parchment mysteriously fell on top of his head while Lyn's wand happened to be swishing and flicking its way back into her pocket.

"Make that two detentions."


A/N: Ah yes, now the exciting question time!

Lyn, you know you're crazy, right?

Yup, thanks!

-raises eyebrows- No morals, have they? -- In This Asinine Existence
Oh, no, they do.
At least, Lyn does.
Reneey's are on a permanent vacation, sadly. -lol- Anyway, they're not committing bloody murder or anything.
Mostly just annoying people, 'cause that's FUN!

A) why does everyone have Remus obsessed with chocolate... i mean i am guilty of it to but do you have any idea why?
B) why did you start out on 459 not that that is a bad number to start. in fact i like that number. -- lilyre and livvyg

Because he's the Candy Man!
Oh, hush, Rea! Well, I guess it's probably because that's one of the things about Lupin's character that sticks in the mind, you know? Probably because we're all chocolate-obsessed, no? :P
And because 459 is an awesomely awesome number!!
You use too many exclamation points, you know that?
So?
So you use too many exclamation points. Anyway.. erm.. because I like the number? XD

Yeah, well, see, we made this whole list of things, only we didn't really feel like starting out with number one.
And because number one was one you wanted to write and you were too lazy to start the first chapter...
Whatever, same difference. But anyway, Lyn picked this story to write first and it just happened to be number 459. -shrugs-

If you have more questions, let us know!
Yeah, questions are awesomely awesome!
And they give us more stuff to write to fill up our mostly boring lives. XD