Later that day, in the warm afternoon sun and cicadas singing in the trees, Roxas hurls a stick across the wide field of the backyard of Reno's mansion. Artemis takes off through the green grass like a bolt of golden lightning, so fast that Roxas lets out a low, appreciative whistle. Besides him, Sora clicks his tongue, his eyes on the swift hound.

After receiving his forced bath from Vanitas, he only wrapped a towel around Roxas before leaving the room. Though he wouldn't tell Vanitas, Roxas did enjoy feeling clean, as well as the smooth motions of his hand as Vanitas washed his upper body. When Roxas left the steaming warm bathroom, he merely found a simple green tunic with gold embroidery and brown trousers, then simple brown leather hunting boots.

Roxas didn't do much after getting dressed, simply wandering over to the balcony and sitting on the patio furniture until Sora decided to stop by. Whether it was because of Vanitas' recommendation or because he merely wanted to, Roxas doesn't care. But it was only because of Sora's innocent look of persuasion did Roxas bother to leave his room with Artemis out towards the backyard.

"It's nice to see you cleaned up a little bit. I had forgotten what you normally smell like." Sora tries to amuse. Roxas merely exhales through his nose, the sound barely audible in the breeze that brushes their clothes.

Artemis reaches the stick and trots back to them, her long tail wagging. Even though she still wasn't fully grown, the dog is already abnormally large. Vanitas still never said what breed, exactly, he suspected her mother had mated with. Given Artemis's size, it could have been a wolfhound. Or an actual wolf.

Roxas stares at the dog, stuffing his hands into the pockets of his pants. "It wasn't by choice, if you want honestly. Vanitas quite literally plonked me into the bathtub."

"It seems like him to be that bold. Though highly unlike you to let him ambush you."

Roxas shrugs again just as Artemis returns and demands the stick be thrown again. "Apparently not. Apparently my skills have diminished along with my care. And it would seem that I'm nothing more than a vagrant."

"Who said that?!" Sora's face reddens slightly.

"No one. Well . . . no one directly." Roxas says, throwing the stick as far as he can into the emerald green field. Artemis shoots off, grass blades and small spouts of dirt crunching beneath her hugs paws. "But, between you and me, I was mistaken by a woman for being one of her own."

"How rude." Sora says sharply.

Roxas frowns. "Not like I was a sight to steer her wrong."

"Well I would hope your skills proved her otherwise." There is a tense pause. "I'm sorry. I had forgotten your . . ."

"I still managed to knock her unconscious" Roxas tells. "Though I doubt she'll miss her canteen of fountain water." Though for someone of that vagrant woman's status, anything she owns is a treasure, and perhaps just waking up for another day is either a gift, or a heartache. It pains and severely irritates Roxas on how he can so easily understand that feeling.

And all of this – every day he does nothing, every day he lies impotent and broken – just emphasize show pathetic he has become. But it's not like he wants to go back to the boy who was the Prince of the Underworld.

Sora shakes his head but doesn't reply. Whenever the servant boy or Vanitas or even Reno looks at him like that, it is almost too much to bear. But what else can Roxas do? He's reduced himself to nothing after giving his stupid oath on Ventus' grave. His oath not to kill another person out of smite, but for justice. His oath to not steal, or brawl, or kill or bleed an innocent's blood again. An oath that he is slowly breaking into pieces with every brawl he gets into at the tabernas, with every sip of wine he takes until the world becomes dull and blurry.

He is a pathetic excuse of the boy he had once known.

Sora begins wringing his hands, and his eyes grow distant. Roxas has seen that expression often in the past month. "I still haven't killed a single man since we arrived; and I don't want you to think that I'm substituting that with these fights –"

"I don't." Sora says. "But I still worry for you, Roxas."

"I understand." Roxas' stomach clenches. For some odd reason, Roxas doesn't mind it much when Sora talks about his pathetic state of being unlike everyone else. Roxas knew the reason is there, floating somewhere in his mind but he just can't grasp it. Could it be because Sora is doing more than just stating the obvious and dwindling Roxas' energy? Or could it be that Roxas can sense still genuine concern for Roxas unlike the other who merely give him disappointed expressions.

But Sora says. "Roxas, please . . . You are my dearest friend. And please know that I worry for you constantly. While I respect your privacy, I need to know – I want to know – what it is that has happened to you?" Artemis again returns, and it is Sora who takes the stick from the dog's mouth and chucks it into the blue sky. "I mean, I know what has happened to you, I know what you have been through –"

"No, you don't." Roxas mumbles softly.

Sora swallows slightly. "I might have only caught a glimpse of what your life was like, but it was enough for me to see that you a patchwork of scars; not just physically, but emotionally."

Roxas clenches his fists and his throat tightens. If Sora keeps this up, he will surely cry. But if he were to try, Roxas just knows he will shatter into the millions of pieces he feels he is built of. Sometimes Roxas always thinks that the veins in his arms are like the fissures that represent how damaged he is.

"I know that what I saw, it was probably nothing compared to the stories and anguish that wail inside you." Sora says, now toying with the nonexistent dirt under his fingernails. "But I still want to help you. In any way that I can please, tell me; what can I do?"

Roxas blushes at the brooding in Sora's voice. Artemis returns again, but when Sora takes the stick, the servant boy keeps it in his hands.

"I hate seeing you like this, Roxas. You seemed so determined to help your father and stop the Guilds; but the something happened. And I don't know what but . . . if this has anything to do with your Elven heritage . . ."

"What do you want from me, Sora? I've been forced to flee my home, my mother was a psychopath, my father is miles away from me. Axel is a in a coma because of me and I killed two of the people who I actually cared about, and who cared about me! And I have a curse set upon me that I fear and can't seem to control. It's all my fault, Sora! It's all me! I'm the problem!"

Sora's lip trembles, and he's about ready to drop the stick and walk away, but the last thing Roxas needs is the feeling of someone else abandoning him.

Roxas swallows hard. "And it's because of this that I am afraid to get close to you, or anyone else in fear that they might die because of me. But if you want to help me," Roxas starts, making sure to keep his voice in check. "then just keep being my friend."

Sora looks to the assassin with a perplexed look. When Roxas meets his eyes, Sora finds the blue gleaming with tears. Artemis sits at their feet, tail wagging as she waits for the stick to be thrown.

Roxas lets out a long sigh. "Just keep treating as you have been, before you found out what I am. Treat me . . . like I'm human." His throat tightens and Roxas coughs as a couple tears fall down his cheeks. "Treat me like I'm not some monster who you saw tear people to shreds; who you saw kill their own friend with no remorse. Whose fire devoured nearly a third of the town without care of who got hurt. Treat like I'm still your friend back at the castle."

His knees quake and Roxas' cheeks are warm with his tears that fall steadily now. He readies to feel the dewdrop grass beneath his knee, as he hears Sora drop the stick on the ground. But the next thing he feels is the boy's arms as they wrap around his neck. Roxas stiffens as he feels Sora shudder slightly.

"Of course you're still my friend." Sora whimpers. "I never did see you any different."

Roxas embraces Sora, but all too soon the boy pulls back and wipes Roxas' cheeks with his thumbs.

"I won't deny, you did terrify me. But you have nothing to apologize for. Your mind was not your own. This was your mother's doing. You had no control."

Roxas sniffs. "No. I could see and feel what I was doing, but I had no control. I was just, floating. Floating in darkness. It was terrifying."

Sora leans in and presses their foreheads together. For a moment, Roxas feels strangely peaceful filling his mind with Sora's scent and letting it eliminate all thoughts of Elves, magic and murder. Roxas takes a deep breath and exhales through his nose.

"I won't ask you to let it go, I have no such right. But I ask that you try to find that determination; that drive that I saw that you had when we left. You had a mission and you were going to seek it out. What made it go away?"

There's a pause and Roxas can only swallow, shaking his head.

And then Sora says, "Don't let that light go out."

The numbness snaps. And Roxas chokes.

Ventus.

Roxas lowers his head and holds back another sob that chokes him. His shoulders sag heavily and he turns his head away. "If you'll excuse me." He barely mumbles before turning away and quickly making his way off towards the mansion. He passes Luxord and Xigbar out on the veranda, the two of them engaged in a game of cards, not sparing Roxas a word.

As Sora watches the young boy disappear into the house, Artemis sits before him, her tail slashing through the long grass. But the hound doesn't whine or bark for the stick to be thrown.

No, Artemis just keeps sitting there, watching the mansion behind them. Waiting for Roxas. Sora stares across the barren field, listening to the sighing grasses. With a sharp intake of breath, he picks up the stick and hurls it as hard as he can, so far it blends in with the tall wheat grass just beyond. He doesn't hear it land.

Artemis turns to look up at Sora, her golden eyes full of question. Sora reaches down to stroke the warm head, the long ears, the slender muzzle. But the question remains.

Sora says. "He's not coming back today."

The dog keeps waiting.

Despite his eyes only aiming at his feet, Roxas already has the entire map of the castle imprinted in his mind. His body brings him to the only room that matches the silence that dwells deeply within him.

Prodding his sore lip with the tip of his fingers, Roxas stares at Axel's sleeping body as it peacefully inhales, and exhales. The thin white sheet covers up to his waist, and his shirt has been removed to allow easier access to the gauze bandages that wrap around his chest and over one shoulder. His features are soft, relaxed and Roxas couldn't sworn Axel has the ever so slightest smile on his lips.

But he sleeps almost like a statue. There's no twitching of his fingertips, no movements of his legs, not even his eyelids show signs of Axel's eyes shifting behind them. No, he merely sleeps peacefully, locked in a dream world where he can escape the troubles of the world.

"If you go, then so will I,"

That's what Axel had said to him on the night he had taken Roxas out for dinner on his birthday. Roxas had asked what would happen if something were to . . . go wrong while they fled. Axel had promised to Roxas that they would run away together; fly away to a place where they've never heard of thieves and assassins. In a way, Axel kept his promise; but this isn't what any of them had envisioned.

Gods, what Roxas wouldn't give to feel Axel's hands on him again; to feel the warmth of his embrace; to hear the beat of his heart and the pressure of his lips on Roxas'; to feel Axel's lips travel all around Roxas' body the way they had on his birthday, the way they had days after . . .

Roxas frowns as he lowers his hand from his lip, the movement causing his mouth to hurt more. He doesn't usually think back to the day he had practically broke Axel back in Twilight Town, the hypnotic serum of his mother's creation turning him into a killing machine . . . But whenever he does, all he feel and all he can hear is the sound of Axel's voice reaching through the oblivion darkness towards him. How many times Roxas had tried to reach it, only to awaken when it is nearly too late.

It feels as if they're still on the run . . . not from his father, but from his mother now. One after another, it never ends. There is no peace. All Roxas wants to do is just wait for Axel to wake, and when they do, they will sail farther out, hell they'll even resort to living on the ocean itself if it means just spending the rest of his life with him.

Roxas has spent nearly every night of the last month every night in Axel's room, keeping a constant watch over him; waiting for him to wake up. In a way, just being in the room with Axle is calming enough that Roxas soon forgets about the world and the trouble he's caused and just how broken and hollow he feels.

Still, the words that Axel had shouted to Roxas still rattle in his skull. "I know nothing of your kind!" The words that Axel had spewed with such hatred that it shook Roxas' bones. Words that Roxas had deserved after he had killed his friend Demyx while under the serum. Even if Roxas' thoughts were not his own, Axel's words seemed to true, so official that Roxas feared that he had lost everything. Still, Roxas doesn't know just how much Axel has forgiven him.

Cruelly, Roxas hasn't even thought about the loss that Axel has faced because of him. Gods, perhaps it's even worse than Roxas'.

What it must've been like to watch Roxas kill his first mate Ventus; that sweet, innocent boy who had seen Roxas for what he truly was and had accepted him as a friend. Not only that, but the fact that Axel didn't even get to say goodbye. He was simply dragged from the room after watching Roxas unsheathe his blade from Ventus' chest. And then to watch the dreadful history repeat itself when Roxas had impaled his sword into Demyx's chest. His blood coating Axel's body and hands.

Everything Axel had to face, and it is all because of Roxas. Suddenly the weight of the gold ring on Roxas' finger grows heavy. The ring with the inscription: "I Love You" on the inner ring.

"I want to give you something to look forward to. I want to give you a reason to fight. I want to give you what you never had, and that is my love, my life, and my dedication to you. Until death do us part, I am in love with you." Axel's words echo through Roxas' thoughts, giving him slight warmth to his chilled core. Roxas rubs his arms as goosebumps travel across his arms.

Would Axel be willing to travel further still? Perhaps, in a way, Roxas has found a new objective: keep fleeing with Axel until no one can find them or even remember their names.

Trailing his fingers along the scar on his palm, Roxas sighs as he turns back to Axel. Rising from his seat beside Axel's bed, Roxas goes over and presses one hand against the headboard, leaning down and placing a gentle kiss on Axel's forehead. He then leans down further towards Axel's ear, "I love you." He whispers.

As Roxas fiddles with the strands of Axel's hair closest to his forehead, Roxas can't help but slightly smile.

"I thought I'd find you here." A voice suddenly speaks behind him. Roxas jumps, careful to hop away from Axel's bed and not disturb him. But perhaps right now not even an armada will wake Axel. The joke both amusing and cruel. Roxas whirls around to find the one person he has, rather rudely, hasn't spoken much to since their arrival to his home.

When Roxas sets his eyes on him, he nearly gasps still at how much he looks like Axel. The same red, spikey hair and the gorgeous eyes and toned features with smooth skin.

"Reno." Roxas breathes. "I didn't hear you come in."

Reno leans on the doorway to the bedroom, a smirk on his lips and his hand tucked into the pockets of his pants. "I don't think that's something you want to say to me, Roxas; given your history and expression of skill."

"I never boasted about my skills to you."

"No, but I've heard your men talk about you. All good things, I assure you." Reno smiles.

"Not like I need to be so cautious around here. I might be a drunk now, but I can still knock a bitch out."

"What do you mean drunk?"

"Never mind." Roxas concludes with a wave of his hand. He goes back to staring at Axel, expecting his eyes to flutter.

Reno has a lanky physique, but bears the exact handsomeness of Axel. His hair is unkempt red terminating in a long ponytail, and two symmetrical red tattoos on his cheekbones; similar to Axel's reverse teardrops. He usually wears goggles pushed up onto his forehead for reasons Roxas doesn't know, as his job – apart from him trading among then cold, ruthless, and the sneaky – he is a host for horse races. Goggles are for diving in the ocean or perhaps even horse racing. To suit his laidback personality, an unbuttoned suit jacket, and an untucked dress shirt.

Roxas hears Reno approach the bed and place a hand on the back of Roxas' chair. Ever since their arrival, Roxas hasn't been able to look long in Reno's eyes; because – gods, they are Axel's eyes – a gorgeous shade of emerald that glimmers in the sunlight. How could he look at the brother of Axel when Roxas is the reason why Axel is now passed out in a coma? The guilt and shame nearly suffocates him every time he sees those eyes.

"Zexion says he's doing well. Heart rate is normal, blood pressure stabilized –"

"– But he still won't wake up." Roxas finishes.

Reno sighs and leans against the chair. "Listen, you don't have to beat yourself up over this. I'm not mad at you, if that's what you're worried about."

Roxas hides his surprise at Reno's sudden words, but forces himself to angle his head up, into those passionate eyes. Gods, help him. His eyebrows furrow with question.

"I'm serious," Reno gently smiles. "I'm not. Remember your crew told me everything, and frankly, and excuse me for saying this, but I actually feel bad for you. That's a lot of shit to take in."

Roxas slightly cringes as he feels Reno's sympathy pool over him like tar. But he remembers the day that Luxord had knocked on Reno's door. It was after they had slipped the officials of the docks and he gave Roxas directions towards Reno's mansion. Some of them were impressed with how Roxas had easily found the place given the minimal description they had given him with many ears around them.

When Reno had opened the door, he had smiled when he saw the familiar faces of Axel's men, but it quickly vanished into confusion at the cloaked men around them, and then to panic when he saw Zack and Xigbar carrying Axel as he still had sever bruising and dried blood on his clothes. Reno hurried them into the mansion and called to the servant woman to prepare some medicine and tonics.

They had locked the door to Axel's room that Reno keeps open just in case Axel ever decided to visit Ivalice. It was one of the longest nights for Roxas. He sat against the wall outside of Axel's room and waited for hearing six hours until Reno came out with his face serious, but calmer than before. "He'll make it." Was all he said before he left Roxas there, the door left open.

Bur Roxas didn't go in. he couldn't with the feeling of intrusion inside of him. This was Axel's home, that was Axel's room, and Roxas was below deserving of seeing memories of his personal life.

After Axel had gotten settled, Reno called the crewmen into the dining room where they were served one of the best dinners they had received since boarding the ship to Ivalice. He, politely demanded he was told everything if they wanted to stay here. And after the crewmen had exchanged looks with Roxas, Roxas himself too lost in his own apathy to care, simply shrugged his shoulders; waving his hand seemed like the greatest effort then.

So one by one, the crew each told a part of the story, not missing a single detail. Roxas mostly tuned it all out, even when Vanitas had spoken about Roxas' Elven heritage and what it was that his mother had done to him to use the power. By the end of it, Reno simply nodded his head and called a servant over to show everyone to their rooms.

As Roxas hugs his knees, Reno takes the second armchair and sets it next to Roxas'. Reno can be cocky, cynical, somewhat lazy, and can be friendly. Despite his appearance and attitude, he is regarded as a prominent worker; while indulging in illegal smuggling with Axel, he takes his job of horseracing with pride.

"Listen, I also was looking for you, because I just wanted to ask how you're doing." Reno says.

"You wouldn't be the first person to ask."

"I assume that means I'll get the same answer?"

"Maybe, only if you piss me off."

"What would be the difference now?" Reno smirks, lightly poking at Roxas' ribs with his elbow. He has a rebellious temperament and his actions can be sadistic, sometimes contrasting his laid back personality.

Roxas rewards him with a smirk, and Reno throws his arms up. "Gods be praised! I have amused you!"

Roxas can't stop the chuckle that comes next and the smile that spreads his lips wider. He looks to Reno, who still smiles and tilts his head. Roxas then clears his throat when he realizes Reno actually wants an answer to his question.

"Um, I mean I'm doing okay. I guess. Depending on however you define okay."

"I mean," Reno rubs his neck. "I hate to sound creepy, but I was watching you and Sora from my study. And I saw you just left. I just thought . . ."

"I appreciate your concern."

There's a moment of silence and Reno decides to get up from his seat and wander over to the bookshelf located next to the fireplace the wall adjacent to the bed. It's filled, and neatly arranged; and in alphabetical order, if he knew Axel at all. And it probably contained only his most beloved books – unlike Roxas' back in Kingdom Hearts, which houses every title he got his hands on, whether he liked the book or not. All those countless books, not to mention the library of a million books that he had left unread back in Traverse Town of Kingdom Hearts. Stuck in the hands of his mother, who probably burned them all by now.

Sinking further into the cushion, Roxas watches as Reno browses the shelf, but Roxas had a feeling that Reno has probably memorized each and every title there is by now. Maybe he was just stalling, or perhaps going on a nostalgia trip.

"Axel never was much of a reader," Reno suddenly says. "I think reading up about you was the most he's ever done."

"He seems well educated." Roxas defends.

"Hm, only if is benefits him." Reno counters.

Roxas looks up and watches Reno as he turns towards a desk tucked in the corner near the window. There's another chair and two sconces flaking above it. Roxas looks to Reno, who merely smiles and jerks his chin towards it. Not wanting decline his offer, Roxas forces himself to get up and wordlessly saunter over to the desk. It's a gleaming mahogany with scrolls and scrolls of papers with pencil protractors and smaller books of the many seas entrapping Kingdom Hearts and even Ivalice. There are two drawers on each side, and Roxas delicately sits on the edge of the chair and brushes aside a couple of detailed maps depicting the East and West Bugross oceans.

Roxas can feel his chest compress, and realizes he gave a slight chuckle. "His love for maps is like my love for books."

"Yeah," Reno says as his footsteps approach from behind. "Axel loved this stuff. Sometimes I would tease him, saying he should've grown a tail and just jump into the sea. Secretly I think he wanted to. He practically lived for the ocean and exploration."

"And you didn't?" Roxas asks as he finds another map of Ivalice, this one zoomed in more to locate the ports and docks of the cities.

"Nah, I hated whenever the water got choppy. I had terrible sea sickness. That and I liked having clean water at my disposal. But to each their own."

"Well it's nice to see it didn't have a strain on your relationship."

"I don't why it would. I always supported him in everything he did, as he did for me." Reno chuckles. "Well, except for when he insisted we go out during a storm to catch the angle of the north stars. Dumbass."

Roxas chuckles softly as he opens one of the drawers and pulls out a red book with gold bordering and finds many papers tucked towards the middle section. He sets the spine against the table and opens it wide, revealing more papers, wrinkled, folded and scribbled with sloppy writing.

"He sure did have a detailed eye." says Roxas as he finds a smaller note with even more cities and ports tucked behind the section of the map.

"Yet he never put much work into school."

Roxas turns to him. "He wasn't a good student?"

"He kept decent grades, but I would always tell there was something holding him, or like this distant look in his eye." Reno folds his arms as he leans against the desk. "I guess school was merely an act of hindrance. Once we graduated, he spent the next extensive years saving money to buy his own ship."

Roxas heart stops for a moment and his throat closes as his mind flashes back to the sight of the ship sinking. Plunging below the surface of the water after it was set aflame and the crew had to escape. He lost his ship and half of his men that day. Gods, seems like anyone caught with Roxas not only as a low survival rate, but their lives get ruined in more ways than one.

It would seem he truly is a gods-damned cursed creature.

"I've never seen him put so much effort into one thing." Reno continues. "Well except for researching up on you. You're the other thing I've seen him put that same effort into."

"I suppose I should be flattered." Roxas mumbles gazing at the book and rubbing the corner of a crisp page between this index finger and thumb.

"You should. Axel doesn't normally put much effort into anything unless he truly loves it." Roxas jerks his head towards him, his eyes widening. "If it also helps, the guys managed to save some of the more important books that he had used. You're free to browse them, if you want."

"No, but thank you." Roxas denies immediately.

"Well jeez, give it some thought." Reno jokes, but Roxas doesn't smile. Lowering his hands, Reno sighs. "Look Roxas, I know you're scared, but you can't just keep running from this. You shouldn't have to fear what you have."

Roxas fists his hands and clenches his eyes shut.

"Look, there's no need for masks, remember I know what's going on. And what you have, it can be incredible, you only have to embrace it and –"

"You . . . don't know, anything." Roxas suddenly growls, springing from the seat, nearly knocking the chair to the floor. Reno taken slightly aback at how deep the boy's voice had gone quickly. "And neither does Axel."

"I know nothing of your kind!"

"I'm not saying I do." Reno says calmly. The control making Roxas almost want to punch him. "I know better than to tell you what and what not to feel or do. But this is about you; you and your wonderful gift."

Roxas snorts. "I don't have any gifts, just a curse."

"Only if you let it be." Roxas looks up and finds Reno staring at him with those caring and gentle eyes. "Look, I'd like to help you understand, that is if you're interested."

Roxas snaps his head to Reno. "How would you know how my power works? Let alone know how the power of ancient, immortal beings works?"

"I've done my studies." Reno vaguely answers. "And maybe with some training together we can –"

"Look! I don't want any part of this. It's just hard enough for me trying to be normal!" Roxas suddenly yells. "I don't want anything to do with assassins, or Elves, or Guilds anymore!"

"Well then what do you plan to do?" Reno asks, his voice still calm. "You're bored enough so much now that you're nearly drinking away everything, what do you plan to do once Axel awakens?"

"We'll sail farther. Farther out further than Ivalice. We will escape the life that has so carefully torn me to pieces and try to live normal!" Roxas answers. "I don't want any part of what you're trying to do, and I am not interested."

Turning away from Reno, Roxas takes off his leather boots leaving them where he disperses them as he makes his way to the bed. Wordlessly, he climbs onto the plush bed, stretching an arm across Axel's middle, holding him close.

His body still smells so much like Axel. And the cheap soap Roxas had made him use, because he was so selfish that he couldn't let Axel have his lavender soap.

Roxas buries his face in Axel's warm, stiff shoulder. There is the musky scent of Axel's cologne still located in distinct places like behind his hears and on his collarbone – a small that is so distinctly Axel that Roxas nearly starts to cry. It clings to Axle's crimson-red hair, to his soft, pinkish lips.

"Roxas." He hears Reno speak.

Roxas will not leave Axel.

After a sighs of defeat, Reno says. "Dinner will be ready at six o'clock."

Roxas doesn't move. Footsteps heading towards the door – then the snick of it closing as Reno leaves.

Roxas closes his eyes. He will not leave Axel.

He will not leave him.