Monster Hunter Gensokyo: Dogman
-A Touhou fanfic written by Achariyth.
Disclaimer: Touhou Project belongs to ZUN. While this is not a true Touhou/Monster Hunter International cross-over, enough MHI influence exists in the scenario that I will pull this fic if requested by representatives of ZUN, Larry Correia, or Baen Books and I also request that any other fansite that might post this work do the same.
I leaned against the railing of the Scarlet Devil Mansion's balcony and waited for twilight. Behind me, a small bell rang. I looked back to see Sakuya Izayoi set a small tea set on a platter down on a small table shaded by a pink parasol.
"Is it time yet?" I asked, returning to my chair and the stack of delicious pastries on the table.
Sakuya sighed. "You don't have to do this, Nitori."
"After today, I do," I replied, sipping at the tea. Moral support was so hard to find. It didn't make sense that Sakuya would turn it down.
The door opened, and two fairies in maid uniforms led Alice Margatroid onto the balcony and towards a nearby chair. In addition to holding an ornate Shanghai doll, the puppeteer carried a leather attaché case. Pulling out a thick packet of legal papers, she read carefully, taking the occasional sip from a teacup offered by her Shanghai doll.
"Reimu's serious about this?" Sakuya said. The normally elegant maid cringed as she spoke, her hands twisting the rim of a silver platter.
"We are talking about money," the Company's secretary said, scribbling her signature on a page. Alice Margatroid wore many hats in Reimu Hakurei's Monster Hunting company. Whether as a secretary, a shooter, a legal assistant, or an accountant, the puppeteer's unwavering work allowed the rest of the Company to go forth, do good works, and kill evil. Of course, her many puppets allowed her to easily do the work of six people without breaking a sweat.
"She never jokes about that," Sakuya said sighing.
"Welcome back, by the way," Alice said, looking at me. "How are you feeling?"
My last mission had sent Sanae Kochiya and I to Tsukishima island to kill a gremlin infesting a telecommunications facility. We killed it, but I almost drowned, and it took four weeks to recover. Oh, alright, there were other complications as well, but admitting that a kappa almost drowned is embarrassing enough.
"I'm still hungry all the time," I said, munching on a small pastry. "Other than that, as good as new."
"Hungry, eh? So that explains why my chocolate cake is missing?" Alice said.
I sighed. "There's a funny story about that."
Alice turned and asked the maid, "Remilia still won't come out before nightfall?"
"Being a vampire creates certain expectations," Sakuya said.
"Well, well, Nitori, looks like we have time," Alice said, looking straight at me.
"Limitations, don't you mean?" I said. So it was an obvious attempt to change the subject, sue me.
"Not for a master vampire," Sakuya said. A bell rang and the elegant maid vanished inside the mansion.
Idly, I wondered what the bounty for a master vampire like Remilia would be, but I dared not voice the thought. First, I'd be a poor guest to even bring it up; second, the last Hunter who did so got torn apart. Besides, Remilia was the Company's silent partner. I guess but for rare exceptions, the undead cannot stand competition. They're like shrine maidens that way.
"I'd like to hear about what happened today," Alice said, setting her papers underneath Shanghai and looking me in the eye. "And not just about the cake."
"Sanae submitted the report," I protested, gulping down another cup of tea.
"It isn't the same. Besides, we don't have anything else to do while we wait."
I sighed, before starting in the classic opening of soldiers, hunters, and fishermen. "So there I was-"
I had expected my return from Pacifisat's Tsukishima island some six hours before to be a little more triumphant. Before we boarded the helicopter, Reimu had called to say that she would pick us up. Maybe it was selfish of me to expect signs, balloons and cheers.
"They're late," I said as Sanae and I left the terminal. Sure enough, there was no sign of Reimu or anyone else cheering. Not that I really cared about the curbside attention; I just wanted to see my friends again. I dragged my overstuffed sea duffel over to a bench and flopped down on the hard concrete. "Ow!"
"Careful," Sanae chided, dropping her bag next to mine. Sitting next to me, she sighed. "Maybe they're on a mission?"
"Only Team Youmu. They're chasing some nasty spectre. Or one who only thinks he's nasty. We'll see what happens when he runs into Mima," I said, stretching my arms over my head. "My guess is that Reimu's trying to stop Marisa from looting my workshop again."
Sanae looked around and shivered. "I hope they hurry," she said, motioning with her eyes to where two wiry men in leather jackets leered hungrily. For a moment, I thought I could see golden eyes before sunglasses hid them, although why Reimu had mentioned that in training eluded me.
"Bet you that they'll leave when Reimu gets here," I said. A silver SUV drove up, hiding Sanae's admirers from view. "And speak of the devil." The passenger's door slid open.
"You owe me a game of shogi," Momiji Inubashiri said, dropping onto the ground. She scowled sternly, before smiling and opening her arms wide. "Welcome back!" She crushed me in a hug.
"Careful. I'm still healing," I protested, wincing as I stood to my feet. "It's good to see you again."
"In that case, maybe I'll win a game for once," my friend said as she steadied me. "Come on, let's get you home. All that kappamaki I bought isn't going to eat itself."
"Fat chance," I said, smiling. Momiji played a meaner game of shogi than she let on. The thought of a good friend, a good game, and lots of good food warmed my heart. I reached down for my bag only to have my hand swatted away,
"Don't worry. I'll take it," Reimu said, pulling on the handle. She scowled as she struggled to lift it. "What do you have in here?"
"Just my stuff. A few mementos," I said, shrugging and laughing as I inched away from my boss's stare. "You know, shells from the beach and stuff." Plus about twenty kilos of communications gadgets, manuals, and schematics scammed from Tsukishima employees with nothing more than a smile, a kind word, and the phrase "What Would Marisa Do?" as a guide.
Sakuya Izayoi walked around from the driver's side and helped Reimu wrestle my bag into the rear of the SUV. Instead of her normal maid's uniform, she wore a modest set of slacks and a dressy black blouse. Otherwise, the maid fetishists would swarm her. "Good to see you, Nitori," she said. "Marisa's been nothing but trouble while you've been gone."
"She's nothing but trouble even when I'm here," I said as Momiji helped me into the front passenger's seat, fussing over me until I snapped my seatbelt into place.
Behind me, Sanae and Reimu bantered playfully as they hauled Sanae's bag into the trunk. Sanae turned her head and pursed her lips. Growing serious, she spoke. "Not to rain on anyone's parade, but I'd feel a lot better if we got going."
Reimu stared at her rival priestess. "What's wrong?"
"Call it a feeling," Sanae said, slamming the rear door. She looked around, trying to act nonchalant.
Reimu inhaled deeply and sighed, pursing her lips into a moue of disgust. Maybe she was reading the air of the place. I can't say; I'm not a shrine maiden. "Yeah, I think Sanae's right. Well, I guess even a stopped clock is right twice a day…"
"Just get in," Sakuya said before Sanae could open her mouth. She closed her door and turned the keys. "Really, Flandre and Remilia fight less than you two."
Sanae and Reimu slid in on either side of Momiji, blowing Sakuya twin raspberries before giggling.
"I hope your faces freeze like that," Sakuya sighed as she guided our vehicle out of the loading lane and into traffic.
"Yes, Mom," Reimu said laughing. I hid my laughter behind a hand. While it may be a long way to Gensokyo, at least it'd be a fun ride there.
"Look out!" I screamed, bracing against the seat as a black SUV pulled out in front of us. Its brake lights glowed red as it stopped in our path. Sakuya grit her teeth as she spun the steering wheel with her palm. Our SUV swerved into the left lane, missing the obstacle by centimeters. I breathed deeply, holding my chest. In the back seat, the priestesses released Momiji, whose face was paler than her fur. Sakuya glanced to the rear-view mirror, hissing vile and inelegant profanities. The black SUV's brights flashed on. Tires squealing, it lurched forward, growing larger in my side mirror.
"Can't this go any faster?" Reimu said, looking out the back window.
"I'm working on it," Sakuya hissed as the chasing vehicle slammed into our car bumper, jostling us forward in our seats. She kept the wheel still and fed gas to the engine.
The black SUV slammed into our SUV's bumper again. I shrieked, as the seatbelt caught tight against the chest. I was still too sore from Tsukishima to deal with this.
The engine roared as the maid stomped on the accelerator. "Where is he?" Sakuya said.
"I see him, in our seven and closing," Reimu said from behind the maid, using the clock code as a reference to locate the attacker. She leaned forward and ripped the center console open. Two 1911 pistols sat in the glove compartment.
"Hold on!" Sanae yelled, grabbing the back of my seat. I bounced between the seat and the seatbelt, jostled by yet another collision. The rear of the SUV skidded to the right as our chaser tried to shove us off the road.
Gritting her teeth, Sakuya fed the steering wheel to the right. The skid straightened out, and the two vehicles drove down the center of the lane, locked together as we raced along the road following the fence to the airport.
"Ears!" Reimu shouted as she scooped up one of the pistols and slammed a magazine home. I slipped the ever-present earplugs from around my neck into my ears and clamped my hands tightly against my head.
Reimu twisted around in her seat, bracing herself with her elbows against the seat and the door. The pistol barked as my boss shot through glass. Next to her, Momiji whimpered as her hands rushed to her ears. We fishtailed slightly as the rammer broke away from us, chased by Reimu's bullets.
"Does this happen all the time?" Momiji shouted as she huddled in her seat, her hands pressing her ears against her skull.
"Here!" I said, handing her my spare earplugs. "And no!"
"He's not getting the hint," Reimu said, reloading. Sure enough, our pursuer was closing the distance.
"Hold on!" Sakuya said, spinning the wheel. I gripped the seat rests as the turn through an open metal gate shoved me into the door. We bounced across loose gravel until Sakuya steered onto a taxiway.
"He's still there, coming up quick," Sanae said before adding her pistol fire to Reimu's.
"Keep going!" Reimu commanded.
"Do you think I'm stupid enough to stop?" Sakuya said, her eyes flashing towards the mirrors.
I turned around and watched as the black SUV drove up on our right side and matched our speed. "PIT!" I called out. The PIT was a technique police agencies used to safely stop fleeing cars. The chase vehicle would place the side of its bumper between the target's rear-axle and bumper. One sharp turn later, and the target would spin out to a complete stop in enough time for another police car to make the arrest. Somehow, I knew that whatever was after us would not be as kind as the police.
Sanae emptied her pistol through the glass and into the SUV's windshield. Red splashed onto the passenger's side of the windshield. "Hold the wheel steady!"
"I've done this before," Sakuya said, fishing the Lunar Dial from her pocket and cupping it in her hand. Reimu had sent us all to a defensive driving course, although one unlike what most people think. Most defensive driving courses don't cover shooting AK-74s and M9s through a windshield, improvised armor, or combat ramming.
The chasing SUV kissed the side of our vehicle and turned into us. We spun around, missing the SUV's front bumper by centimeters as it drove past. I reached for the shifter to push it in neutral, but my hand suddenly appeared in my lap and the gearshift settled into neutral on its own. Light faded from Sakuya's hand as she held the wheel steady. Before the SUV settled to a complete stop, she slapped the transmission into drive and floored the pedal, flashing me a glare at the same time.
We hurtled back the way we came. Sakuya swore an unladylike curse as she checked her rearview mirror. "He's turning around."
I looked ahead, past the gate and to the four-way intersection just outside. "I've got an idea." I pulled a thick cylinder that looked like an oversized aerosol can from the glove compartment. A thick purple band ringed the bottom of the smoke grenade. I pulled the ring off and squeezed the spoon in a firm grip.
"How can I help?" Momiji asked, leaning forward.
"I can't throw this far enough yet," I said, reaching back into the passenger compartment. "Take the pistol from Sanae."
Reimu groaned, her pistol wavering as the rammer settled in a blind spot. "She throws like a girl."
"At least I look like one," Sanae snapped as she took the smoke grenade from my hands.
My eyes snapped wide. "Grab the spoon," I hissed, trying to shove the grenade's safety lever underneath the priestess's fingers.
"Cut that out!" Sanae squealed, slapping at my hand.
I ripped the cylinder from her hands and tossed it underhanded into the cargo compartment. Hissing emanated from the way back, and thick clouds of violet smoke billowed into the cabin.
"Stop the car!" Reimu coughed. The SUV skidded to a stop in a squeal of brakes. Closing my eyes, I shoved my door open and rolled out, dropping behind the wheel as I hacked through the acrid smoke. Sanae and Momiji crouched next to the other wheel on my side. Thanks to one smoke grenade, we were now in the last place one ever wanted to be in a car chase; huddled behind the axles of a stopped SUV.
The black SUV skidded to a halt behind us. Reimu and Sanae trained their pistols at the pursuer's doors. I dropped low to keep the smoke out of my eyes and palmed a spell card. "Where are they?" I said, shading my eyes.
A chill ran down my spine as a low growl escaped Momiji's throat. Half a dozen men in leather walked around from the sheltered side of the black vehicle. Although wiry, they moved with an easy grace and an absolute disregard for safety. If I were them, I would have shot at us from behind the cover of their vehicle.
The lead one sniffed the air and dropped his sunglasses. He unzipped his jacket. In an instant, the wiry man was no more, replaced by some steroid-fueled bestial mix of man and wolf. The werewolf howled, filling the field with its call. I caught a glimpse of golden eyes and hissed, grateful that we always loaded with silver-tipped ammunition. All evil hated silver; werewolves hated it more than most.
My heart fell as the others burst into their lupine forms, all fangs and claws and muscle. A flash out of the corner of my eye caught my attention. Sakuya's Lunar Dial glowed. In an instant, the belly of a brown ball of muscle and fur exploded in a thick rain of blood and offal. For a moment, as the monster fell backwards, I thought I could see a flash of black reach up into the werewolf's ribcage.
Sakuya appeared suddenly, crouching next to me. One hand held the fading Lunar Dial. Blood fell like water from the piece of raw meat pulsing in her other clenched fist. I recoiled from the maid; covered in blood and blood-stink, she looked more like a vampire than her master.
"One… down…" she panted, as the werewolf twitched and then went still. Dropping the now dead heart, she wiped blood-drenched hair from her eyes. I rocked away from the scarlet mist, cringing as the spray soaked my skin. It seemed like I could never avoid being covered in the stuff.
"Only one?" Sanae quipped.
"I just had my hand up a werewolf's ribcage; do you think I want to do that again?" Sakuya said, shaking gore from her hands. Mercifully, it flew away from me, dotting the pavement.
"Was that the alpha?" Reimu asked from the other side of the SUV. If we had killed the pack's leader, it might take the fight out of the survivors.
"No," Momiji growled, baring her teeth. The wolf tengu's fur stood on end. If anyone could determine lupine hierarchies in an instant, Momiji could.
In that instant, the remaining werewolves charged. A knife caught another werewolf in the throat. The creature fell over, clutching its ruined neck. It pulled the knife out and wobbled to its feet, the bloody hole sealing while we watched. Momiji and I scored numerous hits with danmaku, stinging but not stopping the cascading wall of fur and claws bearing down on us. Reimu and Sanae jerked the triggers in their hands, sending lead and silver flying towards the running wolves until their pistols' slides locked back. Dirt and concrete sprayed from the misses. Blood and bone blew out the back of a werewolf's head; one of the gunners had gotten lucky.
When silver runs out, there are essentially three ways to kill a werewolf; cut the head off, cut the heart out like Sakuya did, or inflict more damage than the creature could heal. All of them meant matching fist and danmaku against claw and muscle; a losing proposition for anyone not an oni or not named Meiling.
A heavy jolt shook the smoking van. My head jerked around and I scrambled out of the way as Reimu slid across the SUV's hood feet first. A claw tore at her giant bow as she dropped next to me, rolling to her feet.
"Anyone-" she began, interrupted by an inhuman scream.
White fire engulfed the nearest werewolf as though it were soaked in pitch. The creature fell to the ground, clawing at the fire and a large paper charm stuck to its chest as it rolled and writhed. Sanae threw more charms at the beast, stoking the fire eating away at the wolf. The monster succumbed to the flames, unable to heal.
How could I have forgotten the golden rule of monster hunting? When all else fails, kill it with fire. With Sanae and Reimu's blessed charms, we might just pull through this without anyone visiting the hospital or a friend's grave.
Charms flew out, forcing wolves to dodge the lethal sanctifying magic. I did my best to confuse the wolves with danmaku, hoping that one would leap out of the way of one of my shots and into the path of a charm, but the creatures just soaked up my magical shots.
Momiji yelped as a claw sunk into her leg. With a jerk, the white wolf tengu fell underneath the SUV; Momiji's hands scratched at the ground. Her eyes grew wide with fright. Sakuya and I dove for my friend, but something pulled her beneath the vehicle first. Teeth snapped shut and something whimpered as the vehicle rocked uncontrollably.
"Tengu!" a voice wheezed in between wet coughs. The two werewolves quit dodging charms. With mighty leaps, they threw themselves over the van and into the smoke.
The van rocked with a bone-jarring crash. I rolled away from the axle, flinging danmaku under the SUV at the growls and snapping teeth. Quickly, the four of us rounded the ends of the vehicle, eager to even Momiji's odds.
An arm like fuzzy rebar clotheslined me. As I fell backwards, gagging and stunned, claws raked at me, ripping my clothes. I screamed, fully expecting to be bathed in my own warm, sticky blood. Instead of laying me open to the bone, the werewolf caught me by my belt and spun me into an embrace. Coarse fur dug into my skin, and the wolf squeezed four claws into the soft part of my neck. I could feel small drops of blood pool where the tip of each claw barely broke the skin. I froze, shivering.
"Do not interfere with our challenge," the creature growled through a mouth ill suited for speech. He pulled me closer, the palm of his hand crushing against my throat. I gasped, trying to suck down air, the monster's fetid breath hot against my cheek. Behind me, I could hear what sounded like dogs snarling and baying.
Sakuya hissed, her hands filled with stubby throwing knives. I though back to the wolf she slew and shivered; I had no desire to stand in a fountain of blood. The maid eyed my captor as she waited, hopefully for the best time to rescue me without turning me into kappa fillets in the process.
"Let her go!" Reimu said. The werewolf spun me until I could see the priestesses at the ready, drums and spell cards blossoming in their hands. Reimu's Yin Yang orbs hovered next to her, humming. Another werewolf, this one reddish in color, bared its teeth as it stood between the priestesses and Momiji.
"Not a step closer or we feed on the meat," Red said. I screamed as a sticky sandpapery tongue ran up my neck to my cheek. I hung in the wolf's arms like a limp Shanghai doll as he set his back against our dented SUV.
For the first time, I could see Momiji as she fought. My friend had transformed into something between a wolf and a woman. Scarlet tendrils flew from her snowy fur as her claws tore into her silvery foe. She hissed and growled as her open jaws sought a way around her enemy's as each sough the other's throat. Cringing, I watched as the werewolf's claws tore deep into Momiji's arm. Blood flowed freely from the wound.
An old song about a snow dog ran through my mind as I watched. Hey, stress does funny things to the mind…
Momiji shattered the werewolf's knee with a devastating kick. Silver dropped onto his back with all the grace of a falling sack of rice. The tengu fell upon him, her claws ripping furrows into skin and muscle. The werewolf staggered Momiji with a vicious backhand, kicking her away with his good leg.
Bellowing as bone fragments ground back together into one solid mass, Silver stood up and charged. The thick gashes in his chest shrank to nothing more than scratches by the time he sunk his teeth into Momiji's shoulder. The tengu's claws flensed away the werewolf's back as he shook his head wildly. Silver let go, blood running down his jowls as he bit for Momiji's throat.
The tengu grabbed his jaws and wrenched the lower one out of place. I lost track of what happened soon after as the two mortal enemies tore into each other in a whirlwind of fang and claw.
My captor panted in my ear as he watched, the sticky sweet scent driving him quivering to the edge of frenzy. I groaned with each tensing of his muscles as he watched the fatal challenge, his arms crushing against me. Try as I might, I could not reach the spell cards that might have earned my freedom; I was pinned.
Momiji staggered backwards, her white fur stained almost completely red. Silver barreled into her, and she fell on top of him. Spinning around, she climbed on her enemy's back and clubbed him to the ground. Grabbing the werewolf's neck, she wrenched his head sharply to one side. Silver fell limp, his arms and legs spasming as nerves fired wildly before dying. Hooking two claws under the jaw, Momiji tore out the werewolf's throat. As blood tumbled out of the wolf's neck like water over rapids, I closed my eyes. Even as grievous the wounds Momiji had inflicted were, the creature could still heal, in enough time.
Bones snapped and flesh ripped. My blood ran cold as a triumphant howl echoed through the land:
My pack is the greatest!
Momiji stood in a puddle of blood flowing from the now headless werewolf, his head rolling away from her feet. My captor growled, and his claws began to bite through my skin.
Before I could scream, the world exploded in a spray of glass. I found myself stumbling freely towards Momiji, several meters away from the SUV. Tripping to the ground, I triggered my Optical Camouflage and vanished from sight, huddling the ground while I searched for my captor.
The werewolf howled in pain, his arms flopping useless by his side. Knives stuck out from his fur, cutting through key tendons between his shoulders and his arms. He pitched forward as Sakuya teleported, crashing through the SUV's window before perching on his shoulders like a blood-soaked angel. A long knife stabbed towards the monster's brain stem, but bit deep into the shoulder instead.
Red slammed into the SUV next to Sakuya, crushing the passenger door as a Yin Yang orb slammed into his belly. The maid vanished, reappearing inside a rapidly spinning circle of orbs protecting Sanae and Reimu. With a flick of Sanae's wrists, paper charms flew in clouds as thick as danmaku. The two werewolves fled into the treeline, sped along by the priestesses' magic. When they vanished, I dropped my camouflage.
"Nitori!" Sanae shouted as she ran to me. Nearby, Momiji shrank back into her usual form and pulled me to my feet. The priestess pulled my head to one side, baring my neck.
"I don't smell infection," Momiji asked, wrinkling her nose. Werewolves passed their curse mostly through bites, but sometimes only a scratch was needed. The last thing I wanted was to turn into one of those beasts.
Sanae placed a hand on the oozing scratches dotting my neck. She closed her eyes, and I could feel her hand grow warm. "I agree. She's clean. And as for you-" the priestess turned to my friend, placing a hand on the oozing bite marks. "I can't tell where the tengu ends and the werewolf could begin."
"I'm fine," Momiji said as she looked down at the injury. "Tengu are immune."
A green glow faded into Momiji's shoulder as power left Sanae. "Just in case."
Reimu opened up the rear door. What was once massive billows of smoke now came out in wisps. "Shouldn't be too long before we can leave." She looked inside and whistled. "I hope your bags were fireproof."
I made a moue of disgust at that; some of the toys from Tsukishima would be expense to replace; both in terms of money and dignity.
Sakuya reached inside the black van and popped the hood. Using her knives, she shredded any hose she could find until the van sat in a lake of various fluids and oils.
"Anything interesting in there?" Sanae called out as she seized my arm. Momiji took my other one, and they all but carried me back as we hurried to our battered ride.
"Hurry up," Reimu called out, opening the side doors. "I want to be out of here before those two find their courage again."
Sakuya disappeared inside the ruined SUV. The vehicle rocked as she threw out booklets and a small pack. As she left, she lobbed a cell phone to Reimu. The shrine maiden caught it, slipping the device into a pocket.
After loading the various papers into the van, we piled in, but not before I ran a Water Curtain over the bloodied Sakuya and Momiji. The maid hopped into the driver's seat, turning the key, Sanae fished through the center console, frowning as she pulled out the last full magazine. She popped out five rounds and handed them to Reimu, who loaded her pistol's magazine. One speed load later, and both our pistoleros held their weapons at the ready, trigger fingers against on the side of the barrel.
Sakuya peeled out as we passed through the gate. With a sigh as we hit the open road, I relaxed, slumping into the seat and shaking. Behind me, the priestesses stowed their weapons in the center console.
"What the hell was that?" Reimu demanded, turning towards Momiji. "Since when do werewolves fight in single combat?"
"There's a lot about monsters you don't know," Momiji said, holding her hand over the bite marks in her shoulder.
"Try me. My company is full of monsters," Reimu said, nodding her head towards me.
"I am a wolf. So were they, even though it pains me to admit it. Only one pack could remain," Momiji said, wincing as she worked her shoulder. "The enmity between our two kinds… it's like…"
"Like between tanuki and kitsune?" Sanae asked. Before we left for the island, Team Reimu had responded to a distraught phone call from Chen. Mamizou Futatsuiwa, one of the newer residents of Gensokyo, had almost turned Ran Yakumo into a rather elegant and fluffy fur coat.
"Worse," Momiji said. "Let me rest a bit. The transformation took a lot out of me."
I knew that all too well; a month earlier, my own transformation into my true kappa form burnt away ten kilos of body mass.
My friend slumped over in her seat. "Is she okay?" I asked, reaching for her. She snored loudly before falling onto Sanae's shoulder.
The wind priestess groaned. "She's heavy."
Reimu opened her mouth, probably to utter something as cutting as Sakuya's knives, but the chorus of "Hungry Like the Wolf" interrupted her. She fished around in her pockets before pulling out a blinking cell phone.
"Hello?" Reimu said into the phone. She held the phone in her hand and set it on speakerphone. "Who's this?"
"I see my servants have failed," the voice, cold and animalistic, growled. "You will pay for that. One life for each you've slain, and I happen to have your down payment right here."
"Where are you?" I asked. Deep foreboding welled in the pit of my stomach.
"Your office isn't the fortress you thought it was," the voice said. His laugh grated against my soul. "And what do we have here? Ah, such a pretty blonde girl, waiting for her friend."
"Alice," I mouthed. My blood ran cold. Looking at the pale complexions of my teammates, I was not the only one. Our secretary often worked long hours alone. Still, calling Alice a secretary was like calling Shou a kitten.
"For the memory of my servants, let's play a wonderful game," he taunted, breathing heavily into the phone.
"You touch Alice-," Reimu warned.
"Alice? Not the game I had in mind," he howled.
"I will hunt you. I will find you and I will kill you," Reimu shouted into the phone.
"You may try, but I'm afraid the woodsman will come too late for Little Red Riding Hood," the wolfman said, laughing. "My, what big teeth I have."
"Want to see mine?" a childish voice said, like the sound of crystals clinking together. "Ahhh…"
"What the-" the wolf shouted. Whatever he said next was lost in a cacophony of crashing furniture, primal screams, and the high, pure laughter of a child at play. Someone choked through a series of gurgling wet coughs until even that ended in a death rattle. The signal died soon after.
We endured the drive to the office in silence.
I stared at Sakuya as I stood on the opposite side of our office doorway. The sole company building outside the Hakurei barrier, this office served as nothing more than a way for those who lived outside Gensokyo to contact us. Behind her, huddled against the concrete wall, Reimu and Sanae stood clumped against the maid, their pistols pointed at the ground. We had stopped only long enough to arm Sakuya and myself and grab enough ammunition to kill a rampaging zombie horde or one ill tempered wight.
Sakuya slapped Reimu's thigh, waiting for the signal that Reimu and Sanae were ready. The maid nodded, and I reached up and opened the door with my free hand. Light flashed, Sakuya vanished, and the door crashed inwards, bouncing against the inside wall. First Reimu and then Sanae rushed inside. I followed Sanae, my pistol up and ready. A wall of blood stench hit me moments before the nausea.
The room had been painted in blood. Walls, ceilings, desks, chairs, you name it, it was all covered in a thickening spray of the drying coppery liquid. I couldn't see any flies hovering inside, but I knew it was only a matter of time. Wriggle's little friends just loved the sickeningly sweet smell. Sakuya blanched and Sanae gagged. Remarkably, Reimu seemed unfazed.
"What happened?" I asked, swinging my pistol through my assigned field of fire, searching for anything not covered in blood. "Rampaging blood beast?"
"No," Sakuya said, pulling her pistol's grip back into her chest. A flash of white and yellow bounced up behind a desk. It moved far faster than I could track with my pistol.
"Sakuya!" a pleasant, childish voice called out as the blur careened into the maid, sending her pistol bobbling in her hands. Sakuya grunted as Flandre Scarlet gave her a huge bone-crushing bear hug.
"Flandre? What're you doing here?" Reimu said, not quite training her weapon on the child vampire. "Did you see Alice?"
"No," Flandre said, releasing Sakuya and dropping to the ground. ""There's no one here but me." I relaxed slightly, but still kept my pistol at the ready.
"Little Mistress, was there anyone here earlier?" Sakuya asked. She had holstered her pistol and was now rubbing her throat.
Flandre shrugged. "Just some bad doggies. I had to scold them, but they went away." The young girl actually seemed confused. She held out her hand and it filled with a sphere of something that turned my stomach to even look upon it. "All I did was go 'kyu..." The sphere vanished with a loud crack and a puff of acrid smoke.
I dove to the floor, grinding cold bloody ooze into my clothing. Looking around, I saw Sanae huddle underneath a now maroon desk. Reimu still stood, but her face paled unnaturally, as if she had looked once again into the face of death. Only Sakuya seemed unaffected. Laughing nervously, I stood back up.
"Good girl, Flandre," I said, trying to keep the shaking out of my voice.
"Don't encourage her," Sakuya hissed in a low tone as she glared at me.
"Let her have her moment," I said. "She did make the bad monsters go away."
"Just like you, Sakuya," Flandre said, beaming.
Sakuya sighed. "Good work, Flandre. When we get home, I'll make you a special treat."
"I already had one," Flandre said, spinning around and laughing. Sure enough, a slight bit of chocolate frosting was smeared on her cheek. "Can I have another if I make more bad monsters go away?"
I glanced over at Reimu nervously. My jaw dropped; that crazy shrine maiden actually looked like she was thinking it over. For the first time, I reconsidered working as a Monster Hunter. Following a boss trying to corner the market on crazy was sheer foolishness.
"Little Mistress, you can help me out when you grow up," Sakuya said, kneeling down in front of the eternal child, a strained but friendly smiled upon her face.
"Okay!" Flandre said, nodding timidly.
"Let's go home," Sakuya said, producing a parasol with a flourish. The little vampire smiled toothily and clapped.
Sanae stepped away from her hiding spot, trying to scrub her hands clean against her ruined skirt. "Ugh, how are we going to clean up this mess?"
I looked at the scene from a horror movie gone wrong and sighed. "Not easily. Maybe with bleach. Liters and liters of bleach."
Reimu sighed. "Honestly, I think we might be better off just tearing the building down." As frugal as she was, the suggestion shocked me.
"I can help with that!" Flandre's voice rang out.
"NO!" Reimu, Sanae, and I shouted. I turned to the door where Sakuya, carrying Flandre and the parasol, reached for her Lunar Dial. In an instant, the maid and the vampire vanished.
Alice interrupted me, her Shanghai doll scribbling madly while she spoke. "So, any clue as to who sent the werewolves?"
"I'm working on cracking that cell phone, but it's still too early," I said, shrugging as I reached for yet another pastry. "And why do you think that someone's behind this?"
"Do you think that I can't tell another puppet master's handiwork?" Alice said, shaking her head at me.
"It could have been a rogue pack," I said, playing Devil's Advocate.
Alice laughed humorlessly. "Nine wolves? That's a large pack. Most packs stay small; it's easier to hide from Hunters that way."
"They were going up against Hunters."
"When was the last time we fought werewolves?" she said. I stared at her, dumbfounded. We had fought satyrs, gremlins, ghosts, undead of all stripes and sizes, and even a hidebehind, but never a werewolf before today. "Yet they targeted us specifically, and with good intelligence too."
"Maybe they just hate Hunters?" I said, wishing I brought a notebook with me. It helped to think with ink and paper.
"That doesn't feel right," Alice said, staring at the horizon. "Someone had to have scouted when Reimu left to pick you up. And I don't see a werewolf making it past the tengu pickets into Gensokyo. The scout had to be another species of monster, which means there's some form of organization against us. Too bad you couldn't have taken a prisoner."
It was my turn to laugh. "We're not in the business of taking prisoners. Even so, the only living ones ran away. And as for Flandre's…" I mimed an explosion. "Kyu."
"Please don't do that," Sakuya said, appearing out of thin air. "It makes people jumpy; as I'm sure you can understand."
"Can you speed up the work on the phone?" Alice said. "I'm doing everything I can just trying to keep Reimu and Marisa from attacking every single monster they see."
I shook my head. As an engineer, I did very little of the work directly, relying instead on computer programs to do the heavy lifting. "I should get the read outs some time in the morning."
"Well, if you're busy…" Sakuya drawled, pointing to the mansion's front gate.
"And leave this paperwork to you?" Alice laughed. "Hardly. Besides, I sent them into town with Cirno and Wriggle."
Sakuya winced. Chaperoning the youngest Hunters on a night on the town was like riding herd on cats. Of course, instead of reining in her charges, Marisa would be leading the charge into trouble.
"You can't be surprised they're acting like this, though. We just got attacked," I pointed out. "We thought we were going to find you with your throat torn out."
"Oh ye of little faith," Alice said smiling. Shanghai pulled out two wicked cleavers, spun them once, and sheathed them. Unlike Sakuya's knives, Alice had paid to inlay thin lines of silver along the edges of her dolls' weapons. "We just need to be smart. All Reimu and Marisa are doing now is scaring our leads into hiding. We'll never find the puppet master that way."
Sakuya shrugged. "It's worked for us before."
Alice stared at the maid incredulously. "That wasn't a lone wolf you faced. Someone gathered and aimed an entire pack at you. That takes planning and intimidation. Anyone who can do that will have a second, third, and at least a fourth string to their bow. At least that's what I would do in their place. There's going to be another attack."
"More werewolves?" Sakuya said.
"Probably not," Alice said after a moment.
"More money, at least," I pointed out. Hey, the really cool gadgets are expensive.
Sakuya grimaced. "Don't remind me."
"Speaking of which, there's a little matter of two million yen," Alice said, consulting her paperwork. "That's an awful lot of PUFF for a little girl." The Americans had established the Perpetual Unearthly Forces Fund as a bounty system for the eradication of dangerous monsters. Given the success of that program, other nations quickly established their own versions under different names. However, all Hunters called the various bounties by the name of the most famous bounty system of all. With one "kyu," Flandre Scarlet, of all people, had earned her place as the sole recipient for the bounties on three werewolves.
"It's not the money," Sakuya said. I agreed, although the two million or so yen we earned for our share of the dead werewolves was nothing to sneer at either, and Momiji's million for killing the alpha would set her up for life, even a tengu's long one. "It's-"
The door slammed open, rebounding against the wall. A petite girl in a pink dress stormed out onto the balcony, a parasol in her hand. Stopping in front of her maid, the girl planted her free hand on her hip, baring two slender, sharp fangs. Sakuya squirmed under her mistress's intense stare.
"Why does Flandre want to be a Monster Hunter when she 'grows up'?" Remilia Scarlet demanded.
Author's Notes:
Thanks to Kerreb17 for proofreading. All mistakes are my own.
