Disclaimer: I do not own Animaniacs. Yakko, Wakko and Dot and all of the other characters belong to their own respective owners. I only created Tiger and Caress and other original characters. I claim no rights to any of this. This was made purely for entertainment. No profit is made off of this.

Animaniacs Return

By: Melanie Ray

Chapter Three: The Body Doubles

"Just change your verdict." Porter groaned on the phone with the Warners' Judge, Laos. If he played the game with precision, he should get it overturned.

"The Warners cannot control themselves when they are together," Judge Laos said none-too-gently through the phone, piercing Porter's ears. "I refuse to change my verdict. Yakko Warner and Wakko Warner should turn back, I've repeated this over and over. I don't care what your reasons are."

Porter pulled his cell phone away from his ear a moment. No choice, he had to use his trump card. He brought his mouth back to his cell. "You have a young boy, correct? Graduating soon?"

No words came through the phone, had the call been dropped? Judge Laos' voice revealed itself again. "What about him?"

"I hear he's a fine young lad," Porter laid it on thick. He knew nothing about the kid, he could've picked his nose all day for all he knew. "Hasn't quite landed a job yet. What is it he really wanted to be again?"

"A producer." Judge Laos said, his words unenthusiastic. No, not enthusiastic, perhaps troubled? "If I made this problem of yours go away-temporarily only- not that I will or that I would let the Warners be together again 24/7." Judge Laos stopped again, but Porter grinned as he picked up a pencil and bounced it up and down on it's eraser. "What if I did something for now?"

"Then maybe a nice position at Warner Brothers would be to his liking?" Porter grinned, "It would raise his chances of being a successful producer."

"I warn you, they are hysterical with each other," The Judge warned him. "I will allow one month of freedom for them—one month- but that is it. Afterwards, they shall get an appeal in court. If they don't straighten up, I cannot allow them to be near each other."

"No one is perfect." Porter stopped bouncing his pencil with enthusiasm. "I'm sure they've learned their lesson, don't be so hard."

"Wakko Warner flung my toupee in the air and Yakko Warner shot it with a shotgun like a clay pigeon!" Judge Laos yelled over the phone. "That was right before I pronounced sentence. No, they have to be good in order for me to revoke it fully. Help with my son's career or not, if they are still a menace to society, they will be kept separate. Understand?"

"Fully." Porter picked up the pencil and shoved it behind his ear with pride. "Wakko Warner is on his way, his beeper should have been going off. He has gone by airplane and he should be arriving soon. Yakko should be along shortly; he's already in California. Dot has not been contacted yet." Porter listened for a last minute warning, then hung up his phone to look through papers. Another battle fought and won.

"Mr. Chairman?" One of his team knocked gently on the door and came into the room. "I have almost convinced Minerva Mink to come back."

"What do you mean almost Johnson?" Porter said as he looked up from his papers.

"She wants a partner, like you said she would. And it's Thomas, sir." His employee informed him. "Do you know who we could use?"

"Aroma Therapy, the copy." Porter simply stated as he went back to signing papers. "Have her contracts ready as well as the other two's, so hurry up and go Johnson."

"Come again sir?" The employee didn't understand.

"The studio will make money off of them," Porter glanced up at Johnson, he hated when people lower than him had to ask so many questions. What was he, a teacher? "The Warners are unpredictable, we're changing them out every once in a while. It's in the papers I'll give you."

"Sir?"

"They are body doubles! This way, if the Warners go completely bonkers, we can replace one every now and then," Porter said, paying more attention to his papers than John—Thom—whatever his name was.

"Oh, yes sir, very smart."

"This will get those bums some work too. As for the Minerva costar situation, I have hers ready. She can be a body double when Dot has too 'off' of a day. Otherwise, she'll fit in perfectly with Minerva. Now go, I've had a bad day, and if I hear one negative thing about anything," Porter pointed at Thomas, "I'm not gonna be reasonable. Move."


Thomas groaned as he craned his neck to see the top of the WB tower. It had been a short walk from the chairman's office to the tower, but how was he supposed to get up there? He looked around for some kind of convenient doorbell toward the ground. "Hey, is anyone up there?!"

Suddenly, the door of the tower flew open. He watched as a cartoon jumped down to the ground. He looked a lot like Yakko Warner but he wore shades, a leather jacket and a smidge taller. "Yeah?"

"Zenny Therapy, right?" Thomas looked at his papers on the failed cartoons. "I'm here to inform you Mr. Porter has use for you."

"Really?" The toon chuckled and leaned against the tower. "We're actually gonna be used?"

"Yes, you are going to be body doubles." Thomas brought out some information and handed it to the toon.

Zenny looked at the papers with displeasure. "We get a contract finally and we're body doubles? To who?"

"Yakko, Wakko and Dot Warner. There are three of you, correct?" Thomas asked, making sure his facts were straight. "You, Aroma, and Arni?"

Zenny chuckled. "Uh, yeah. There's three but no Arni."

"Zenny, who is it?"

Thomas watched as two more cartoons jumped down from the tower. One wore a pink dress with a red shawl wrapped around her. The other wore a simple down to earth blue dress and smiled.

"Aroma and Arni?" Thomas was not the least bit happy, the information was incorrect. "You're not male."

"Brilliant deduction." The toon with the blue dress laughed. "I'm Iridescent," she gestured to the toon next to her, "that's Aroma."

Thomas looked closely at them. "You're both females?"

"We're gonna be body doubles," Zenny said to the other toons as he handed him the informing papers. "I'm supposed to be Yakko. One of you has to be Wakko and the other's Dot."

"What?" One of the girls scratched her head. "Are you serious Zenny? I thought the Warners were too hard to control."

"That's why you are their body doubles," Thomas explained. "The Warners have...good days and bad days. The Warners are more unpredictable the more excitable they are. If one is too excitable for the day, you'll replace that toon."

"Well, not the best gig," Zenny shrugged his shoulders, "but at least we got a contract."

"Actually, contracts." Thomas handed Aroma another piece of paper. "You on the other hand, are a character in the show."

"I am?" Aroma looked down at her paper. "I'm supposed to play with Minerva Mink?"

"She's supposed to what? " Zenny's cool exterior disappeared as he heard the news. "No way."

"It's only acting, and you'll be paid well," Thomas made a circular motion with his finger. "You are attractive for a toon, with a push in wardrobe, we should be able to make you a great partner to her."

"Well, she better be getting paid really well." Zenny's voice was none too friendly.

Aroma looked at the paper and her eyes became wide. "Actually Zenny, this isn't bad pay."

"Wow..." Iridescent looked over at it. "Nice." She smiled at Aroma. "It's okay, I'm sure you'll do fine."

Thomas smiled at Iridescent. "You look quite nice in blue."

"Oh? Thank you," Iridescent smiled, then she frowned. "What?"

"Red cap, blue shirt. Perfect. Just hide the essentials," Thomas insisted. She was a cartoon, she could do anything.

"I really have to look like Wakko Warner?" Iridescent asked again.

"More than that. Mr. Porter has the contracts ready," Thomas said gently, "Could you just pretend to be a boy? Always?"

"What?" Iridescent's voice sounded undignified as her jaw hung open.

"Well, the contractor must have forgotten it's two females and one male instead of vice versa," Thomas explained. "Look, if the show's a success, we'll fix the problem. I will handle it personally. If it's a flop though and I bother Mr. Porter with such a minute detail-"

"I'm a girl," Iridescent interrupted. "That's not a minute detail last time I checked."

Zenny chuckled at Thomas, "If 'girl' is minute to you buddy, I don't want to see the bars you go too."

Thomas gave Zenny an unhappy stare then turned his attention back over to Iridescent. "Mr. Porter sees opportunity in this. I should not give my own personal opinion, but I do not see a long-running success to this show. If I bother Mr. Porter to make a separate contract because of something so small, and this show does not last...Mr. Porter said if he heard one negative thing he would not be reasonable, and he only uses those words when-"

"We get it," Zenny interrupted him. "Easy fella! Mr. Porter would blame it all on you. You'd be fired. We know."

"He's such an ass," Iridescent crossed her arms. "Fine, I'll be a 'boy' for now. If this series does not go too long. I won't spend years being a boy."

"Two months, at the most." Thomas assured her, "We should know whether it will be a hit by then."

Iridescent sighed, "I'll still get paid though? For the work, even though it's technically a different name?"

"I assure you, I will look over the contracts myself. It will be included in the second one." Thomas sighed in relief. "Thank you. Really, you are saving my job." He smiled awkwardly "And there's just one more thing we need to discuss." He looked at the tower. "You're getting some new roommates."

"Oh no." Zenny groaned, "I knew this was coming. I knew it, I knew it."

Thomas shrugged his shoulders. "I'm sorry. It was their tower, and if you don't share, they won't be the ones leaving."

"I have to play a sex object."

"I have to be a boy."

"We have to share our tower with complete maniacs?"

They all had one big final groan together. Just how crazy would these Warners be?


"-And I know what I like! Energy T! The Energy drink for kids! Wheeeeee!"

"Aaand cut. Nice job, Dot."

"Of course," Dot smiled as she got off her stool. She had grown older since the Animaniacs show, but her voice was still as sweet and cute as before. Which was how she made her living now. No longer being able to even be around her brothers, Dot had found a great career in New York City. Whenever someone wanted anything for kids, for cute singing or for just over-the-top sweetness, they would come to Dot. She was number one in that department now. It might not have pulled as much as the show Animaniacs did, but it pulled enough to be well off.

Dot opened the door to the sound-proof room.

"Can we eat now?"

Dot smiled as she looked at her pals, Rita and Runt. After the sentence was carried out, it was hard not to ever see her brothers again. After she heard Rita and Runt were actually in her area, she went and picked them up. She had never really dreamed before that she would ever own that cat and dog, but it had been lonely without her brothers. "No, not yet. I've got to make sure I've got all the ads done first."

"Now that's important," Rita agreed, "and what we're you doing just now? You looked like you wanted to laugh."

"Energy T!" Dot couldn't help herself as she chuckled, "energy drink for kids? Kids don't need energy. Who comes up with this stuff?"

"Dot?" A man smiled as he came up to her with a piece of paper. "We've got a possible new one. For some tablet called Yummy Pills."

"Yummy pills? What's that?" Dot recited what was on the paper. "Yummy yummy yummy pills. Yummy yummy yummy pills. Eat a brownie then a pill, yummy yummy yummy pills?"

"It's some kind of tablet for overweight people," The man explained, "It's supposed to let them keep eating the way they do now."

"Weight pills," Dot couldn't believe her ears, "for kids?"

"It doesn't say for kids," The man defended the ad. "They are willing to pay you whatever amount you want."

"Dot." Rita looked at Dot knowingly. "Your voice is cute and sweet. If you're singing a jingle for that, you know its true meaning."

"Yeah, it's directed at kids." Dot pushed the paper back. "No way, I might be a little crazy, but I won't do that one."

"Whatever amount you want," the man pushed it back at her, "whatever, they really want you."

"I said no." Dot crossed her arms in a fit. "Now excuse me, I'm going home. My doggy and kitty haven't been fed for awhile."

"Since lunch," Runt whined. "That was a long, long, long time ago."

"I gotta admit," Rita agreed. "Even my tummy's starting to growl."

"Well, let's go home and order a pizza." Dot grinned as she started to walk out. She stopped when she saw a woman in a suit with the WB logo on it.

Kathy Cart smiled. She didn't realize Dot had taken in Rita and Runt. She had only come for Dot at first, until she compared addresses to Rita and Runt's new home as well. If she could bag Dot, the other two would be easy. "Dot Warner I presume? My name is Kathy Cart. I have been sent on behalf of the Chairman, Mr. Porter."

"Who?" Dot frowned. "Why do you have the WB symbol on you?" The toon became defensive. "I haven't crossed any line, I've never shown up near Burbank!"

"That is not why I am here." Kathy handed out some papers to Dot. "We are trying to bring back the show Animaniacs."

"Animaniacs?" Dot Warner didn't seem to know how to react to that. "What about Yakko and Wakko?"

"They've agreed. The Chairman Mr. Porter has worked out something with the judge that sentenced you," Kathy smiled at politely as she could. "You can work with your brothers again if you come back. You will also be paid-"

"I don't care what the pay is!" Dot grinned as she jumped into Kathy's arms in excitement. "I'm going home! Let's go right now. I'll buy new furniture." She jumped down and looked at Rita and Runt. "You two, move it. Our new home is going to be Burbank."

"What about the pizza?" Runt whined.

"Oh Runt," Rita groaned. "Back to the lot then?"

"Yes. You are very welcome too," Kathy smiled. She couldn't give them information; they had no hands to hold it. "10,000 dollars to each of you for showing up at the first meeting."

Dot grinned ear to ear. She didn't have to make corny commercial jingles anymore. She was going home.


"Pinky."

Pinky turned around and saw a strange large man. "Oh, hello."

"My name is Thomas Trellis. I represent Mr. Porter, the Chairman of the Board of WB." Thomas recited once again, "We're offering you 10,000 dollars to show up at the first meeting about the Animaniacs show." So far, Thomas had no problems on his end. It took extra convincing with some characters, but he wasn't prepared for the answer he'd hear from Pinky.

"I don't think so," Pinky smiled.

"It's 10,000 dollars," Thomas repeated, "you just have to show up."

"I don't want to," Pinky repeated.

"15,000 dollars." Thomas raised the price.

"No, not at any price. I like it here." Pinky grinned.

"Pinky." Thomas said firmly. "Whatever it is you want, I can try and get. I understand you're with a horse named Phar Fignewton? Right? We could set up the nicest stable for her."

"Umm, no. That won't work," Pinky replied. "We like it here."

"The nicest most gorgeous stable. Plenty of security." Thomas tried again.

"No. I like it here, but thank you." Pinky grinned.

"Why?" Thomas had to ask. Why wouldn't Pinky take any offer?

"Phar Fignewton and I like it here. We're going to raise our kids here, narf!" Pinky smiled.

"You're a mouse," Thomas sighed. "You can't have kids with a horse."

"But we are," Pinky laughed. "She's carrying it now."

Thomas gulped. Pinky wasn't always 'all there'. "She's a horse. You're a mouse. It is physically impossible for her to have a foal with you."

"A foal?" Pinky asked.

"A baby horse." Thomas simplified it for him.

"Oh. Well, but she is," Pinky grinned.

"But she can't," Thomas groaned. "Mr. Pinky, it is impossible for her to have your foal. You are not a horse."

"Oh, I know that." Pinky chuckled. "I'm a mouse."

"You're a mouse. She's a horse," Thomas sighed. How could he make this mouse understand? He pulled out his cell phone and dialed Mr. Porter's number.

"Can't you see I'm busy?" Porter complained through the phone.

"Sir, I have a problem. This mouse thinks a horse is carrying his kid. He won't leave." Thomas said through his phone. "I don't know how to get the point across that it can't be his."

"Ohhh..." Mr. Porter groaned over the phone. "That Pinky mouse is supposed to be too dull witted to understand anything. I need him too though, it's not right without him." The phone went silent for a minute. "Contact The Brain. He will personally have to go and explain what's going on. He was his partner for awhile, if anyone can reach that mouse, it's him."

"Yes sir," Thomas heard the dial tone at the end of his cell. He put his phone back away. "Are you sure you don't want to even go to the meeting?"

"Oh no, Phar Fignewton could have it any day now," Pinky grinned excitedly.

"Well, okay." Thomas gave in, "by the way, an old friend will probably stop by to see you soon."

"Who?" Pinky asked excitedly.

"The Brain," Thomas replied.

"Brain? Brain's coming to see me?" Pinky danced around excitedly. "I can't believe it, poit! We haven't seen each other in years."

"Yes, I'm sure." Thomas sighed and started to walk away. Hopefully, The Brain could explain it somehow.


Yakko waved his tie around as he waited for his escort. Ha! An escort to their old tower? It hadn't been that long.

"Sorry to keep you waiting." Donald Mcalister came up to him and shook his hand. "I trust you got here safely?"

"I trust you bought yourself one heck of a car," Yakko grinned. "Don't forget to pick it up. I kept my word; I gave you the cheapest one we had. It was out back. Wheels are damaged, paint job's real bad, and there's a funny smell in it."

Mcalister wasn't exactly grinning from ear to ear. "I meant price, not condition."

"Oh, that's too bad. See, that one wasn't really priced at all. I kinda had to set the price," Yakko chuckled. "So, let's go already. Is Wakko and Dot at the tower yet?"

"No, your other roommates are," Mcalister informed him.

Yakko's happy-go-lucky attitude vanished. "What?"

"Roommates. They will be your body doubles." Mcalister looked at his papers, "Arni, Aroma and Zenny."

"Body doubles." Yakko didn't like the sound of that or not. It had always just been the Warner trio who lived there. His eyebrow arched oddly as he gave a crooked expression to Donald. "Well, thanks for not letting me know at the very last second because boy, if you would have forgotten to tell me something so obvious at the last second, I think I would have been pretty pissed off." His laugh had a strange creepy feel to it as he lifted his finger. "So, Donald. You know I never did write down the exact pricing on your car yet. Or maybe I did? Did you buy the whole car in one payment?"

"Mr. Porter was the one who forgot to tell me, I just learned an hour ago." Mcalister said in his defense.

"Well, Mr. Port A Potty needs to get his act together," Yakko laughed oddly, "and I want to see my brother and sister. Soon. Got me?"

"Of course," Donald gestured to his car, "shall we go?"

Yakko got in the car with no cheery smile in his face. They had better not be trying to fool him into working with other toons instead of Wakko and Dot! 'Cause it wouldn't work. Wakko and Dot only. Oh, if they are trying to trick me. He folded up his arms in a displeased manner.

He knew how to not play nice.

As they arrived at the tower, Mcalister opened Yakko's back door. "Welcome home, Yakko Warner."

Yakko got out of the car and a grin found it's way to his mouth. The old paint, the giant WB lettering and the rusting metal. That was home. He shut the car door as old memories ran through his head. No matter what apartment he'd had in the last decade, nothing would ever beat the familiar smell of old paint and metal. Wakko, Dot and him running up and into it after a hard day's work...

Inside the tower...

Zenny looked at Aroma curiously. "What's wrong?"

Aroma had morphed into a look alike of Dot without the flower in her ears. Except for the red dress, she made an exact replica. "You have seen their shows, right? I don't feel like being hounded every second. If I look like this, I should be fine."

"I'd kill to only have to do that." Iridescent groaned as she placed a red cap on her head. "How do I look?"

"Don't even want to risk telling them?" Zenny asked her.

"That I'm not actually under contract, but it will be fixed soon?" Iridescent nodded her head. "We don't know them. What if they try to blackmail me?"

"She's right Zenny, what if they want a piece of her next contract?" Aroma asked him. "They are supposed to be completely nuts."

"Point taken." Zenny agreed. "Okay-"

"Hey there, I'm Yakko!" Yakko had swung the door right open for himself and jumped right in. He looked at the three copies, taking in every feature instantly, before turning his attention to the toon guy. "Hey, what's up with that? Shades and leather jacket? Fonzie passed out of style years ago."

"I'm not Fonzie," The toon was less than adamant. "My name's Zenny."

"Should have been Kenny," Yakko continued. "We could have done some things to you to drive the ratings higher." He circled Zenny once. "So you're supposed to be me? Boy, you've got a long way to go." Teasing done with copy number one, Yakko set his eyes upon copy number two. Short, cute to a degree but dull. He watched her a second longer as she finally muttered a word.

"Yes?"

"Are you a Saint?" Yakko asked her. She looked at him confused. "Are you a Bernard?" She shook her head, idiot still didn't get the joke. "Are you a Saint Bernard? " Yakko finally laughed, "Really, did your creator hate you or something?"

The wakko-look-alike stood up next to the dot-look-alike. "Who do you think you are making fun of Aroma like that?"

"I be Yakko Warner!" Yakko pointed at himself proudly, "I already told you that at the door. And you're who again, Arni?" Yakko made a circling motion near his head and moved his eyes around like he was crazy. "So do you pay for your own psychiatry or are you under some plan Mr. Wakko look alike?" Arni's elegant reply?

"Shutup."

"Alright girly," Yakko shook his head, "man, your voice is way too high pitched. You sound like a girl, I can see why you were a flop."

"Hey," Zenny marched over to him. "Who do you think you are? You just open the door and come in without any invitation, and you insult each one of us?"

"Well Kenny, I've already told you, now going on a third time," Yakko informed him. "I'm Yakko Warner, Besides I live here, I don't need to knock. Never have and never will. As for insulting you?" He just chuckled. "It's not like I even had to try."

"My name is Zenny, not Kenny," Zenny tried to argue back, "And furthermore-"

"Boring!" Yakko blocked his pathetic attempt. "Now where's my room? Oh, there it is." He marched into a room covered in pink and red shades. Girl's room? Ooh.

"That is Aroma's room now," Zenny yelled at Yakko. "We'll find you space but, don't touch that-!"

"Whoah, hoah hoah!" Yakko came sailing out of the room. "Saint Bernard knows Victoria's Secret?"

"I am not a Saint Bernard." The plain girl stood up for herself and yanked her Victoria's Secret undergarments out of his hands. "How could you go through my drawers like that?"

"Oh, it's easy, There's no lock it just opens." Yakko thought that was pretty common knowledge, but copies could be stupid. "By the way, you're wasting lots of money pooch. For a girl like you, 99 cent things will do."

Yakko watched as Zenny ran over to him. Finally, took a lot to drive that guy mad. "That's my sister you-"

Yakko instantly moved, seeing his move. "Waaaay too slow Kenny. Do you know how long us Warners have been around?" He laughed at Zenny's attempt to hit him. "What are you, probably not even 10? Slow down, you might get hurt." Yakko jumped over by the couch and hopped down on it, picking up the remote and surfing through the channels. "Boring, boring, boring." He looked back at Arni and Zenny. "What's wrong with you Arni and Kenny, huh, no good channels?" He just scoffed and laid the remote down. "Bummer, you copies need to get satellite or something."

Aroma, Iridescent and Zenny all shared a look.

This was not going to be easy.