The Culls
Culls meaning to remove someone or something deemed worthless or inferior.
I am rewriting the first 7 chapters I have published.
A/N: Just incase I didn't mention it in the last chapter, Remus and Sirius are Harry's godfathers, and Dumbledore is Rosie's godfather. I don't think this fact is really important for the plot of the story, but just so you know…
This story was based on and inspired by Silver Angel 7's story The Results of Our Choices. I adopted the story from Silver Angel 7 with her permission and will try to uphold Silver's standards while putting my own twist to it.
Summary: AU. Each choice and decision you make has consequences that can be either good or bad. Like how Rosie was said to be the defeater of Voldemort when it was really Harry's doing. Which lead to Harry's mistreat him that would shape the person and choices Harry made in the future.
Warnings: This story may contain child abuse, violence and gore, coarse language, homicidal and suicidal thoughts and actions, and slash. This story may also eventually contain Grey!Independent!Intelligent!Harry. Currently rated T. I may raise it later, and tell me if you think it should be raised.
Disclaimer: All characters and places belong to J.K. Rowling. I own nothing.
/'Parseltongue'/
"Emphasized words and spells"
"Normal speech"
Chapter 3:
To say it was early when Sirius first heard the clambering of a small set of feet padding through the halls, squealing "It's Christmas! It's Christmas!" would be an understatement. James, Lily, Remus, and himself had stayed up to about midnight the previous night, catching up and chatting about things that were inappropriate for Rosie and Harry to hear, therefore he was tired. A gorgeous man such as himself needed his eight hours of sleep, after all. When he rolled over onto his side, so he could see the green numbering on the digital clock, he was not pleased to see that it was only 5 o'clock in the morning.
After coming to the conclusion that going back to sleep was probably not an option, Sirius decided that getting up was the only other choice. The ebony haired man swung his legs over the side of his bed and threw the sheets off of his torso, while letting out a loud yawn. After rubbing the sleep from his eyes, he got up and made his way to the door, with visions of coffee cups dancing in his head.
After making his way down the stairs and into the kitchen, he was greeted with the sight of three half awake adults and two overly excited children.
"Uncle Siri!" Rosie squealed as she jumped out of her seat at the kitchen table, where she had been indulging in a plate of bacon and eggs, and ran over to her uncle for a good morning hug. "Guess what! Guess what!" the energetic six year old was practically bouncing. Sirius dimly wondered how the little girl could possibly have that much energy at a quarter past five in the morning, but pushed the thought to the background before replying with a smile, "What?"
"St. Nick was here!" At Sirius' mock incredulous look, the child continued, "He was! He really was! And you should see all the things he left! There's a pile this high," Rosie put her hand at first at about half of Sirius's calf level, then slowly raised it to about his knee level, before the child continued in her ramblings, "And there's presents for you and Uncle Remus and Mummy and Daddy and Harry and me! Mummy and Daddy even said that since I was such a good girl this year and was so brave against you-know-who, St. Nicholas may have even brought me more gifts then usual!"
Sirius gave an unsure glance to Lily and James, before returning his gaze and smile to the animated brown-eyed child and stating overenthusiastically, "Wow! That is exciting news, isn't it?"
The six year old smile grew and her bouncing increased somewhat as she replied with, "The best!"
Sirius walked over to the counter and poured himself a cup of his beloved coffee. After adding two spoonfuls of creamer and sugar, he sat down at the kitchen table in-between Harry and Remus, and took a gulp from the cup.
"Sleep well?" Remus questioned with a smirk after observing his friends obviously sleep deprived state.
Sirius gave a noncommittal noise through the coffee cup that was still held up to his mouth, before lowering it and replying, "Like a rock. Until the lovely parade came trotting through the halls," Sirius let out a sigh and rested his head on his hand as he took another swig of coffee.
Remus let out a chuckle, and patted Sirius on the back in a sympathetic way, "I hear you, Sirius, I really do."
After a few minutes of quiet chatter, the six occupants in the kitchen moved their slowly awakening bodies (excluding the children, who practically skipped) into the living room, where they would open their presents. When Sirius saw the small mountain of presents that surrounded the glorious Christmas tree, his eyes widened to saucers. Sure, he had seen James and Lily place them there last night, but it was dark, and Sirius had no idea there were this many. Fatigue completely forgotten, Sirius ran over to the tree and swiftly kneeled in front of the presents and picked one up. After reading the name, and obviously not finding what he wanted, he set it back down and picked up another one. After two more gifts had been examined, he exclaimed a little "aha!" and picked up the gift he had been eyeing and sat down on one of the couches.
Lily laughed, "I swear Sirius, you're as bad as the kids!"
"Hey! I resent that!" Sirius said indignantly as he tore into the package with such vigour, that pieces of wrapping paper flew all over the room. After it was all off, he was left holding a circular Christmas container, which he promptly opened. After emitting a high-pitched squeal, very much like the one that escaped him the day before, Sirius dug into the gingerbread treats Lily had given him, popping two at a time.
"Sirius!" Lily warned.
With a sheepish grin, the ebony haired man replied, "Sowy!" through a mouth full of cookies, and slowed his pace of consuming the gingerbread delights.
The next hour past by in a blur of excited exclamations, laughs, taunts, and jokes as the group of six ripped through gift after gift until the only one who still had any left was the girl-who-lived, herself.
The fact that Rosie already had a noticeably larger pile of presents than anyone else in the room, including Harry, did not escape the grasp of Remus and Sirius. Though the two may have disapproved of the unfairness of how James and Lily so blatantly favoured their eldest child lately, the animagus and lycanthrope kept these thoughts to themselves. It was not in their place to tell their friends how to raise their children, and they doubted that their observations over the last day or so would be welcomed, even if they were true.
Harry had had a great time opening up his gifts. He had gotten many things from chocolate and magical games to clothes and books. The green-eyed child had only been slightly hurt when he had seen the significantly larger pile of presents that sat beside his sister, but when Sirius and Remus had offered to show him how to play Exploding Snap, he practically forgot about it.
Half an hour later, Rosie had finally finished opening the last gift (a toy snitch that fluttered around the head of whoever activated it until caught). Everyone had then ventured upstairs and back into their designated rooms to get dressed and prepare for the day ahead of them.
After Harry had struggled to slip on a fresh pair of pants, shirt, etc, the dark-haired toddler had walked back down the stairs and into the kitchen, where he took a seat on one of the stools at the kitchen table. He was the first one down the stairs, so he had decided to wait for the rest of his family (Sirius and Remus included) to finish with their freshening up.
Not even a couple of minutes later, a loud commotion, followed by a mirthful outcry of laughter, was heard from the top of the stairs. Harry quickly turned his head to see what all the noise was about. Rosie trotted down the staircase in-between their parents, hands held, as they laughed and swung their daughter from step-to-step as they climbed down the staircase. Their faces were alight with so much happiness and love, that it could have brightened any room. It was the perfect picture of the perfect family. And Harry's heart ached. He looked away.
To see his family like that, so joyful and affectionate hurt him dearly. It wasn't the fact that his family was so happy; it was the fact that he was denied that feeling. The feeling of happiness that could only be supplied with the care of a family. The feeling of love, of being wanted, needed, and protected from the outside world. It was these things that Harry missed most about his life before the attack, it was times like these that he found himself wanting to tell everyone the truth. But Harry would always remain quiet in the end, and today was no different.
A few minutes later, Remus and Sirius had finally shown up downstairs. Just the sight of his Uncles improved Harry's mood quite a bit. He knew that the two men still cared about him even though Rosie was the one who supposedly saved the wizarding world. He could tell by the way they talked to him, like they loved him. Knowing this made the child so happy. He had feared that they would start acting like his parents had, and to know that he was wrong, and that they still truly cared about him relieved the green-eyed child immensely. He really did love his Uncles.
Harry was just about to call the two older men over when James spotted them and called them over to check out his new Cleansweep before Harry could even open his mouth. Sirius had practically ran over to the broom, his what some would call 'unhealthy' obsession with Quidditch kicking in, while Remus gently declined the offer. He had never been one for the sport, most likely because anything more than four feet above the ground gave him the willies.
Seeing that his one of his godfathers had declined his father's offer, Harry quickly called him over. Remus smiled at the invite and walked over to the table Harry sat at and pulled up his own stool before engaging the child in a small conversation.
For the rest of the morning, everyone decided that it would be nice to just relax around the house, enjoying each others company and trying out the new knickknacks that everyone had received for Christmas.
When noon arrived, Lily called everyone into the dinning room for sandwiches and tea (or juice in the children's case). They had all finished up fairly quickly since the meal wasn't a heavy one, and then moved their festivities outside onto the front lawn where a massive snowball fight took place. The teams were Harry, Remus, and Sirius versus Rosie, James, and Lily. The only rule was no magic.
As soon as everyone had gotten outside, the war had begun. At first, the action had been only minimal, with the odd snowball thrown at the opposing team, as both sides made a pile of ammunition and a suitable fort to duck behind. But soon enough, the game began. Snowball after snowball was thrown, pegged, tossed, and hurled across the yard.
Laughter, playful taunts, and the crunching of snow rang through the air like a small orchestra to their festivities. The game went on for what seemed like hours, and Harry enjoyed every second of it. It was like a repetitive task that changed every time. Roll, pack, throw, hide, roll, pack, throw, hide. Harry threw with vigour, pausing only to find a new hiding spot or restock. He did not aim, he only threw, snowball after snowball. Therefore, when a loud cry pierced the air, it took Harry completely off guard.
Harry turned swiftly in his spot to see what had caused his sister's tears and came face to face with the scene of Lily holding Rosie in her arms as she held tightly onto her eye while Lily tried to shush her by rocking her back and forth. Instantly Harry felt a pang of worry rush through him and was just about to start walking over to see if his sister was alright, when a piercing yell echoed through the air. "Harry James Potter! Come here this instant!"
Harry was puzzled, but knew not to disagree with his father, especially when that particular voice was used. He quickly strode over to his father. "Why would you do this?" James thundered, "What in the name of Hades possessed you to attack your sister like that? Giving her a black eye, what the hell was that for! That was completely uncalled for! I don't want any excuses, I don't want any complaints. Go over to your sister and apologize, then move that sorry butt of yours up to your room! I don't even want to see a glimpse of you till dinner! Do I make myself clear?"
"Wha…but Daddy, I didn't…I didn't mean…"
"I said do I make myself clear!" James roared. Harry shrank a little in response, but nodded his head quickly, seemingly unable to find his voice at that moment.
Remus quickly intervened, "Now James, I'm sure it was just an accident! There's no need for this, besides its Christmas…"
James shot the lycanthrope a glower, "Remus, you're not by any chance telling me how to punish my child, are you? Because last time I checked you had none."
"James, stop acting like such a dick! Harry did nothing wrong, and nor did Remus! So stop attacking them!" Sirius defended.
"Sirius, Remus, j-just forget about i-it, please," Harry stuttered quietly finally finding his voice. The telltale prickling of tears started to form behind his eyes, but he pushed them away, not wanting to let them fall. He remembered a time when he could cry freely in front of his parents. He would be instantly engulfed in a hug and told that everything would be alright. And it always was. But he knew now that tears would bring no sympathy from his parents and everything was not alright. So why cry when he didn't need to?
Harry walked over to where Rosie was still sobbing her heart out in her mother's arms and whispered a small, "I'm sorry," before walking away and up to the house, trying to ignore the glare his mother was giving him.
He walked into the foyer and struggled out of his hat, gloves, coat, boots, and snow pants, before continuing up the stairs and into his room, all the while pondering about what had just happened, what his father had just said. This only resulted in the prickling behind his eyes to become harder and harder to ignore.
After arriving in his room, he closed the door tightly behind himself and fell onto his bed. He pulled his dragon against his chest and finally let the tears flow.
Harry didn't understand why his father had been so angry. He didn't mean to hurt his sister, it just happened! The whole time he had just randomly thrown all his snowballs, not aiming or trying to hit a specific thing. He just threw. The whole time he had done this and by accident one of the balls hit his sister in the eye. It wasn't on purpose! He didn't mean it! So why had his Daddy been so angry? Why had his mother looked at him that way? Why had they treated him like that? Harry was just so confused.
"James, what the hell is wrong with you?" Sirius yelled furiously. Sirius was angry. No, scratch that, he was beyond angry. He was pissed. And one glance at Remus told the animagus that he was no better off. What James had said to the green-eyed child both men had come to love was completely out of line. You couldn't just speak to a five year old like that; with so much spite and with such an accusatory tone. Harry was such a good kid, and if anyone bothered to look past his title of 'the-brother-of-the-girl-who-lived', they could see what a blessing he really was. Harry didn't deserve this treatment, and it broke Sirius' heart every time he thought of how resigned Harry was to follow his father's orders. But it also fueled his anger, which he promptly took out on his best friend.
"It was an accident, James! And you're acting like Harry planned it all out! Cooked up the whole idea when we were all sleeping last night or something! He didn't do it on purpose; anyone who wasn't blind could see that! Harry was half way across the yard; I'm surprised it even reached you!"
"Are you kidding me, Black? That snowball was aimed! I actually saw him do it! And you're telling me that it was an accident!? Are you crazy? Harry deserved that punishment. He's not going to get away with every goddamn thing he does just because it's Christmas! The boy needs to learn discipline. He had no right in hurting his sister like that," James argued.
"James, I know that Harry didn't purposely hit his sister, and I know you do too. And Harry's not a bad child, he's never been…" Remus was interrupted.
James glared daggers at his friend, "Remus, just shut up! I really am in no mood for one of your rants right now," James spun around swiftly so he was then glaring at Sirius, "The same goes for you too, Sirius! I don't want to hear it! My God, what the hell's the matter with you two? Both of you are acting like it's some sort of crime to defend your own child!" James yelled.
Sirius gave an exasperated sigh at his friend's words. He really couldn't believe how dense he could be sometimes. "We never said anything like that! It's just your acting…"
Remus cut off Sirius with a quiet statement, "Harry is your child, too, James."
There was silence after this as James stared dumbfound at Remus for a few seconds in confusion. He shook it off though, and trying to make up for his short absence of retorts, snapped, "Well no shit, Remus! Of course Harry's my child! What the hell are you talking about? That has nothing to do with anything!"
Remus sighed, "Yes, actually it does." James looked taken aback, but Remus continued,
"James, you and Lily both have been favouring Rosie a lot lately, sometimes it's like you forget Harry is your son all together. Take right now as an example. You won't even consider that Harry hit Rosie accidentally, but if they were to switch places you wouldn't believe anything but it being a small mishap."
"Okay, one, what are you talking about Remus! Lily and I love Rosie and Harry both, with all of our hearts! And two, that's because Rosie would never do something like that!"
Remus shook his head tiredly and raised a hand to rub his temple. He could feel a headache coming on. He ignored his friend's last comment for the sake of saving himself from a full-blown migraine. "James, I've seen the way you two have been lately, and it certainly doesn't seem like the love is shared evenly among your children. Just look at this morning! When I came downstairs Harry's pajamas were on backwards, his toast was burnt and his little hands were covered in peanut butter. This all indicated that he had dressed himself and made his own breakfast at the age of five, whereas Rosie, who is six, was eating a perfectly cooked dish of bacon and eggs made by her mother. Now, it may have been just me, but it certainly looked like you were favouring Rosie, and things weren't like that five months ago when I last saw the children."
Silence filled the air once again as James pondered his response carefully. A few seconds passed by, and finally James let out a tired sigh, and when he responded, he talked in a slow, quiet voice, as if he were considering each word carefully. "Remus, we love our kids equally, we really, truly do. I love Rosie, and I love Harry. And that's all there is to it. It may appear like Rosie is getting a tad bit more attention then Harry lately, but you have to understand; Rosie did something extraordinary a couple months ago and saved countless lives. This girl is a legend and a hero to the whole wizarding world, and there is only a small amount of time left before the world reclaims their hero to be their savoir once again. And until that happens, Lily and I are going to do our damnedest to give this child the best childhood she could have asked for. Unfortunately, we can't spend as much time with Harry because of this, but it is a sacrifice we have to make. We'll make it up to him when he's older."
Remus remained quiet as he studied the man in front of him, for the first time noting the man's weary appearance. Raven locks that had always been messy by nature, seemed to be more so now than Remus could remember. Those hazel eyes that had always been alight with a hidden sparkle now seemed dull, although far from lifeless. Bruises sagged underneath them, revealing the many sleepless nights he had suffered through lately. There was a slight downturn of his lips, which had always been set in a smile, smirk, or that goofy grin for as long as anyone could remember. There was only one word to describe the man's demeanour, and that was tired.
For the first time, Remus realized that the revelation of Rosie's fate was affecting James, and most likely Lily, too, a lot more then they were letting on. While they appeared to be all smiles and the perfect, happy, loving parents they had always been, it was now apparent that it had all been a show, masking their inner turmoil for the sake of the children. He understood that both Lily and James were under a fair amount of pressure right then, and were doing what they thought was best for the current situation. But the lycanthrope also understood that while Lily and James tried their best to go on like nothing was out of the ordinary by lavishing Rosie with affection and the childhood of her wildest dreams, they were denying Harry the childhood that rightfully belonged to him.
Even knowing all this, Remus nodded his head showing that he heard and was not going to retort to what James had just told him. The pressure was high in their lives right then, and Remus wasn't about to add to it by pointing out what they were doing wrong. James didn't need that right now, neither did Lily.
A relieved grin spread across James' face at the inclination of Remus' head, and some of the fatigue upon his shoulders seemed to lighten. He walked over to where his friend was standing and clapped a hand on his back. Remus smiled at the sign of 'no hard feelings' and then looked over to where Sirius stood silently in the foot of snow.
The animagus was unmoving, his face a mask of no emotions. Remus knew that his friend was deep in thought right then and probably thinking about a hundred miles per minute.
He recognized this face from the many years they had spent a Hogwarts together, and he knew that Sirius was really confused on how he should act right then. Was he supposed to take the easy way and act like this argument over Harry never happened? Or was he supposed to take the difficult approach and continue yelling over an issue that would never be resolved? For the sake of everybody, Harry included, Remus prayed that Sirius took the first approach. The animagus would be no good for Harry if he wasn't even allowed to see him anymore.
A few seconds passed and James and Remus watched the man in anticipation, waiting for his response anxiously. Finally, Sirius gave a small shake of his head, almost like he was trying to dislodge thoughts from his mind, and gave a grin towards his friends, his face relaxing somewhat. Remus let out a sigh of relief, but the nervousness still lingered in the back of his mind. He knew Sirius wasn't okay with everything that had just happened, he was just setting it aside to deal with latter.
After the ebony-haired man had walked over and James had gave him a clap on the back, the proposition to go back inside arose, which they all agreed to do, seeing as how Lily had taken Rosie inside sometime ago.
