Read previous Chapter Again before even thinking about reading this one! I re did it. In this one. Kate Is finally back on her feet. Since she was in the hospital being shot in all. She was Itching to get back to the bar. So here she is again! (Look up the song Just Breathe by pearl Jam, and listen while you read)
Just Breathe
Kate walks into the back door of the bar. The heavy metal door hitting her guitar case sending her into the doorway roughly, before it slams behind her. She cringes, and blows a strand of hair out of her eyes. Her hair is much longer, and curled at the ends sort of messy. She sets the case down catching her breath, a little winded from that small task, and stands up straight. Sifting a hand through her hair, she looks around. The back is vacant at the moment, but by the sounds of a piano and cheers, the bar is anything but empty.
"Katherine!" April the entertainment manager walks from another room and spots Kate. "Where have you been?" She asks, giving her a quick hug and letting go but still keeping an arm around her back directing her to the small table in the back.
Kate sets down her case and eases into the chair. "Recuperating." She replies, leaning down to pull her guitar out of the case. She winces. Her wound still hurts just a little.
"Oh dear!" The older woman say concerned. "What happened?"
"I got shot...comes with the territory." She brings her guitar into her lap, hugging it to her.
Aprils eyes widen, then soften. "Well I am glad your okay! Good to see you back dear!" she leans over the table grabbing one of Kate's hands and squeezing. "Now, your up in about Half an hour." She smiles, letting go of her hand and walking away.
Kate remains in the chair. She runs her hand up the neck up the guitar, feeling the smoothness and the strings. Placing her fingers on a chord, she then takes her other hand and glides her thumb over each string. She starts to tune it, since it's been forever since she's played it. Plucking the first string many times with her thumb, she listens, head tilted to the side while she turns a nob with her other hand. She smiles and closes her eyes at the familiarity. She's missed this. Being cooped up in the hospital for longer than she'd have liked, and then at home not being able to work or do much of anything. Gun shots to the stomach will do that. Set her back a bit. Course gave her plenty of time to think on songs to sing here.
And of course she thought about Rick. They've slipped back into their "not talking about it." She heard what he said. He knows what he said. But they haven't talked about it. And he sat by her bed day and night like she knew he would, looking like he's wanted to talk about it. But it hasn't been the right time...Never is. Something is always in the way. She still has Josh. Who did her surgery... He wasn't around as much as Rick, but he tried to show up at least once a day. But With Rick... Either they are both unsure of each other's feelings, there's a boyfriend, or something even more traumatic happens like her mother's case and The Captain taking his stand, and his last breath. How do you bring something up that someone said because she was dieing? Kate would love to think that he said it because it's really true. Not because he was afraid she was dieing. She's sure he meant it. He proves it every single day. He's Always there for her.
Kate blinks a few times, bringing herself back. She gets to go back to work next week. Desk duty but at least she'll be at the precinct. She's missed the guys, even though they visit (and Lanie) but she really misses the Buzz of the bullpen. The murder bored and the crowd of suspects who make their way past before going into holding. And she misses Rick Castle bringing her coffee and sitting in his chair to stare at her in that creepy yet cute way of his.
She misses the old dynamic of the group. It's not the same unless she's at the 12th. Ryan and Esposito and their goofy ways, their fists bumps and silly interactions with Castle. Then theirs Lanie and her sassiness that would seem weird being spoken over dead bodies in the morgue. And of course taking down a suspect, ducking under that yellow tape and walking up to a crime scene amongst flashing blue lights, determined to find justice. Not that she misses killers. Hell no. She just misses the job.
"Kate?"
Kate looks up to see the tech guy peering around the curtain.
"Uh, yea?" She stands up up slowly.
"Your up."
"Okay."
He disappears and she gathers her guitar strap over her shoulder. With a deep breath she walks out and onto the stage. Her heels clacking as she goes. Something she's also missed. Instead of sitting on the stool, she stands in front of the Mic which she adjusts to her height. Everyone is cheering and clapping. Obviously they missed her too. Finally with the mic where she wants it, she raises an arm to block out the light, which dims.
"Hey everyone." She speaks to the audience.
They cheer.
"I've recently had a lot going on in my life...a lot...but now I'm back. I'll be singing some Pearl Jam." She says, and looks down at her guitar, getting ready with the chords. Of course there's some whooping and hollering. She smiles and lets out a little laugh and begins to play.
...
Yes, I understand that every life must end, aw-huh...
...
Her mind flashes to The Captain. Standing in his office where he told her that There are no victories, there are only battles. And in the end, the best you can hope for is to find a place to make your stand.
...
As we sit alone, I know someday we must go, aw-huh,..
...
She's smiling now looking out at the many faces. Loving the way that it feels to be back up here again. To sing her heart out in a way she can never just say.
...
Oh I'm a lucky girl, to count on both hands
the ones I love...
...
Images of her Father, Mother, Rick Castle, The caption, Lanie, Esposito and Ryan, float through her mind.
...
Some folks just have one,
yeah, others, they've got none, huh-uh
...
Stay with me,..
Let's just breathe.
...
She Remembers being down on the ground trying to breathe, Rick over her, pleading with her to stay with him. Not to leave him. His blue eyes strained with tears, his voice shaky and rushed. He sounded so desperate.
...
Practiced are my sins,
never gonna let me win, aw-huh,..
...
Under everything, just another human being, aw-huh,..
...
Yeh, I don't wanna hurt, there's so much in this world
to make me bleed.
...
And then the image of blood on her gloves. And later all over Rick's suit. He never changed. Just sat by her bed side holding her hand while he thought she was asleep.
...
Stay with me,..
...
Again she thinks of the way he pleaded with her. As if his world would come down if anything happened to her. That look in his eyes. She cried for him then. Pleading with herself to stay awake. To stay with him.
...
You're all I see.
...
"Kate," He had whispered "I love you, I love you Kate." She hears in her mind as she sings the next verse. feeling that painful realization in her chest again that she felt the same way. That she wanted to say it back.
...
Did I say that I need you?
Did I say that I want you?
Oh, if I didn't I'm a fool you see,..
No one knows this more than me.
As I come clean.
But she wont. She'll only sing about it.
...
I wonder everyday
as I look upon your face, aw-huh,..
...
Everything you gave
And nothing you would take, aw huh,..
...
Nothing you would take
Everything you gave...
...
Did I say that I need you?
Oh, did I say that I want you?
Oh, if I didn't I'm a fool you see,..
No one knows this more than me.
As I come clean, ah-ah...
With her eyes closed. Kate Beckett thinks back on all those times where Richard Castle showed how much she means to him. And her own words come to her "And if you're very lucky, you find someone willing enough to stand with you."
Nothing you would take,..
Everything you gave.
The two of them have faced so much together. The almost poisoning, The freezer. Where he held her while they nearly froze to death.
Hold me till I die,..
Meet you on the other side.
And then the Bomb. She had looked at him with the clear thought in her head. If she died right then. Well at least she was with Rick. There was no one else on her mind but him as he stared back his hand clasped in hers, the ticking of the clock in corner of her eye. The same thoughts that went through her mind while she bled in the grass. Rick professing something to her she'd never be able to do herself.
Thoughts? Still hoping you all went back and read the other chapter first. anyways. pleaase please review! And thanks to all who have and added me and my stories to your favs!
