While I'm still motivated to write I'll sure that I continue to write this series. So for today we'll look through the mind of our resident airhead; Yuigahama Yui. Here I'll consider the time to be around the days just before they graduated. Sorry for OCCness I'm not use to using Yuigahama.


If so Yuigahama Yui will

Yuigahama Yui side.

March 1st.

It was bright. Really bright. Dazzling even. But even so it hurt my eyes. That day confirmed something that I should have known for all long time. Those two where too brilliant. Yukino could tell me to work hard but even so I'll never attain that level where I'll be equal to them.

Perhaps I could work hard but even so I'll never attain my dreams.

People could refute me all they wanted but even so.

I won't attain my current dreams.

Because my dreams lay with him.

I am normal. That was the reality of my existence. Normal family, normal looks, normal friends, less than average grades. But that's what made me stay with the two of them for so long. I wonder if the two of them realise it but those days are going to be fondest memory of my high school days.

But as a normal person, isn't obvious that I'd normally fall in love like normal person? Although I can't remember when I fell in love with him, I definitely did.

Moreover will I be needed? Isn't it obvious that Yukino has a best friend in Hachiman now?

So is this sadness normal?

Is it because I lost my chance?

Is it because I knew that those two are the best for each other?

Is it because I don't know what to do from here on in?

Is it because my happiness relied on these two?

Will I lose everything I hold dear after this?

Maybe in the future I'll forget my despair on this day. But today I am sad.

I bear no ill will to her or to him but obviously I am sad.


I was graduating soon so I had no reason to pay attention in class.

"That's it class! Class dismissed." Cried out the teacher.

The end of the day. Time to go home.

"Oi Yuigahama."

Hiki had a worried expression on his face. I knew what he was going to ask.

"I'm not going, sorry. I'm rather busy you know, college and all."

"You've been saying that for the past few days as well. Yukinoshita's rather worried too….." Hiki tried to explain.

"No there isn't anything wrong." I replied curtly.

"Look, I don't know people well enough. I could come up with a million ways to explain your actions but none of them would be correct. So I want you to know that if you want to talk to us you can. I guess that's about it. I can't force to come to club but….."

"Thanks Hiki but…." I thanked half-heartedly.

I doubt you or Yukinon would be able to help me.

I ran for it as fast as I could.

I didn't even have a direction.

So I ran.

I ran until I couldn't run any further.

"Was this the station?" I asked as I glanced around.

"Oh it's Yui?" questioned a surprised Hayama Hayato.

"Ah Hayato-kun. Yahallo! What are you doing here?" I asked in an attempt to cover my sadness.

"Have you been crying?" He asked.

I think I must have had a bewildered look then.

"Tears." He quickly pointed out.

So I was tearing up?

"Running away?" He asked again.

I nodded.

"Was it because of the two of them?" He asked with amazing clarity.

"As expected of Hayato-kun." I regarded.

"I don't deserve such praise." He dismissed.

"Yui, you'd better leave. I'm meeting some here."

Hayato's face was clearly distressed, as if the person he was meeting was unwelcome. That I'd never want to get involved with this person.

At that moment a beautiful young lady appear behind Hayato-kun. A female that exuded female dominance and an overbearing sensuality. Her face was so close to his face you'd think that she intended to bite him or kiss him. She mumbled to something to Hayato.

Haruno Yukinoshita. A person even less understood than a normal human. That much I did know. She wore a smile that expressed 'you're the most interesting person here, I'm glad to have met you'. She was the complete opposite to Yukino who struggled to smile. That smile was tested and true.

"Ah, Haruno-san. Hello." I greeted stiffly.

"Ah Yuigahama-san. Nice to meet you! It's been a while right?" She greeted whilst offering her hand.

"Haruno. Let's go, she has nothing to do with this." Hayama pleaded.

"No can do. As I surmise she is in need of a reality check as well. You two are my subjects for the day."

"Ah no need to be concerned about me….I'm fine, you two can do as you please." I urged more out of fear than politeness.

"She isn't that same as me. She has friends, a life to lead." Hayato struggled.

"Well you're right there, Hayato. Okay since you don't want her involved in your problems then I'll deal with her first. You're tagging along Hayato but I'll deal with her now, kay?"

Ignoring the pleas of those under her she continued on her overbearing path. Seeing as there was no point I resigned. Nodding I let her lead me on.

"Well for now we'll all go to that café. You can tell me all about your feelings Yuigahama-san!"

Was I simply far too used to being guided by other people. I think I myself knew that much. After all how would I explain being egged on by Haruno-san? As I delved into all my problems, all the one concerning that night, what happened to be before, what I've done and what my life was like, she sat their looking bored. I wasn't paying attention but after a while she began to lose her happy smile. It was as if she didn't really need me to continue. She had found what she needed, confirming whatever it was she needed.

"So that's about it." I concluded nervously.

She began to smile again.

"Yuigahama-san. Have you noticed a common theme within all of your efforts?"

I shook my head.

"Hayato, notice anything?"

Silently he nodded in response.

"Okay then please me. When you decided to run for presidency a year ago, why did you do so?"

"To protect the service club." I blurted out.

"Quite correct. So the next question then is; why did you want to protect the service club?" she asked with an every growing grin.

"Because, I wanted to protect the place where I thought I belonged." I continued.

She seemed satisfied with her answer.

"Yui-san. Can I call you that?"

I nodded.

"Yui-san. One last question. Why did you belong in the service club?"

That was a hard question. Why did I connect with a detached loner and girl whose standing was far beyond mine? Why was I okay when I was scolded by Yukinon or Hikki? I was the odd one, out so why?

"Let me answer that for you. You find belonging there because that's the place where you're the most 'Yui Yuigahama.' She answered.

"I don't really get it." I answered confused.

"Think of it this way. By being with them you can speak your mind. You certainly don't come off as a person who can easily stand above others. A person like you would likely have their opinions lowered or at least you wouldn't have the confidence to speak your mind." She explained.

I nodded hesitantly.

"Well with those two, there isn't a class hierarchy nor do they expect anything from you. To them you're simply a good friend. Okay I don't really know about him but with Yukino-chan then that's pretty obvious. So you're free to do as you please, you're free to express your own opinions and wills to them. They won't lower them at all. In short the service club is a place where 'Yui Yuigahama' can free express herself as the true 'Yuigahama Yui'.

She took the words straight out of my mouth.

"In short the reason why you protected the club is to protect your individuality. After all their isn't a assurance that you'll find another set of people that let you be 'Yui' if they broke after all. And besides you'd definitely be unhappy if you lost your friendships. You after all are normal."

"That isn't the case. I just want to help…" I protested unhappily

"Yeah, yeah. 'I just wanted to help them'. Please cut the selfless bullcrap." She ordered in a bored expression.

"Look, any human has wishes. Call them wishes or desires it doesn't matter. Look, no matter what any human does, humans will do it for their own sake. Whether they consciously to it or whether they do its subconsciously in selflessness, human will act for their desires and happiness. Even a missionary does it to gain happiness and salvation. In that case you are the same, you fought to protect your own happiness. Of course I'm not blaming you, after all if I did I'd be blaming the entire human race." She explained seriously.

"But here's the problem Yui-chan. A good lot of your desires are fixated on other people. In a crazy form of logic that means that you're existence is tied down to other people. So then what happens when your love conflicts with your desire to protect your happiness with your friends then such conflict naturally occurs. Again that means the thing that forms the basis of your existence is about to be breached. Oh not to mention you're not going to the same college as they are. The rest of your life is on the line." She told me.

"So was I correct?" She asked in a teasing fashion.

There wasn't a way for me to answer properly. How was I supposed to react? Besides my situation hadn't changed in the slightest.

"So what cha gonna do Yui-chan?" She asked in a fun loving manner.

I didn't answer.

"Well I sorta expected silence. Well I don't mind giving you all the answers but that'll go against my beliefs." She explained.

"You have beliefs?" Hayama scoffed.

"Of course. I'm not a will-less monster. I'm a wilful monster. Well I'm not inclined to tell you everything Yuigahama Yui. Perhaps it wasn't your intention but any more than this and you'll be relying on me. And I've had that happen to me more than enough times to know that it gets boring. And on top of that, I'd undone all the work I've done in the past few minutes."

"Now go! Do as you please and hope that it pleases your will." She shooed me out with a hand.


I left the café and with nothing to do I made it back home. I didn't eat despite the protest of my parents. I lay there waiting for something to pass and something to give me reason to move. I'm not logical, I can't think straight. I can't think of convoluted plots. I can't be resolute. I'll sway from one side to the other. You'd think that a person so emotional like me would understand what to do at this point but even at a standstill between my wishes and my friends…..

"Maybe I should disappear." I mumbled.

"Yeah that's right if I disappear, they'd be free to do as they please. Yeah that's right if hadn't appeared…"

"That's right if I hadn't fallen in love with him…"

"Well that's certainly not hard. I've only got a few days right? Two days and then I can fade away. Better now right? I can start the healing process sooner right? I'll get over him sooner right?"

But tears were beginning to fall.

"I can do it right?! I can forget right? It's for the best right. Dammit why am I crying? It's for the best right? To let go is a better option right?"

"This is the correct option dammit!" I screamed in an attempt to justify my own thoughts.

Suddenly a light turned on, coming from my phone.

"A text from an unknown number?"

Yui-chan? It's me Haruno! By this time I'm betting that you're thinking 'maybe I should disappear' right? As a quaint bit of advice that I failed to give you, let me tell you to listen to your tears! But before you do please listen to my bias opinion. I really don't want you to disappear. Why you ask? Well let me say that if you disappear more than one person would be sad, I certainly do not want a regression on my hands."

Oh on another note, I'd be happy if you saved this number of mine. Oh and if you don't answer in a couple of minutes, I'll assume that you're going to do something terrible and I'll stop you whether you wanted to or not.

"I'll hurt more people? By disappearing?"

"But I'm not important, I biggest claim to importance I have is being in the service club."

Something urged me to dig deeper.

"Service club….Yukinon? Hikki?"

Push on. Go on reach.

"Wasn't I their friend? Yeah I was!"

"Didn't she cry? Didn't she rely on me? Didn't she say 'please wait for me.'?"

"Didn't he want something genuine? Didn't he cry to get there!?"

"Didn't they rely on me to be their friend, no matter what? Didn't I try to save them, so that we could remain there together? Didn't I save them so that we could form something?!To form something that all of us wished for!"

"So what was I doing here!? So what I was doing here attempting to break these things!?"

"Won't they cry if I disappear? If I betray them, then they'll never be able to recover!"

"I'll never be able to live with the guilt! If there is an afterlife then I'll rot! If not then I'll become a ghost!"

"But more importantly I'll be unhappy! I'll lose even more things! Even if I lose his love, I don't need to let go of her friendship nor his either!"

"What kinda crap! Was! I Thinking! About!" I screamed.

I quickly texted Haruno-san.

Thank You.

"Yui, what's wrong?" my mother cried out in concern.

"Nothing ma! I've just realised that I've got to do something!"

I slumped back to my bed. Was this happiness? Was this clarity of mind? In any case, here I was ready to set things right.


"I'm sorry!"

I bowed.

"What I did, it was unforgivable! Yukinon, Hikki!"

"Please raise your head, Yuigahama-san." Yukinon told me.

"I can't. What I did. What I was going to do. I can't forgive myself!"

"Oi, oi enough Yuigahama. We don't need this." Hikki implored.

"We're just happy that you're okay. So we don't need your apology." Yukino explained

"It's just, it's just. Please, don't, don't ever do that again." She conversed quietly.

She wasn't crying, but she didn't need to. That look of relief was all that I needed

"I'm sorry. I made you worry."

I hugged her.

"Stop saying sorry, okay."

I must have clung on to her for a while."

*Cough* *Cough*

"Oi, please save your acts of yuri for a later date, Yurigahama-san."

"Hey this is a touching reunion. Deal with it Hikki." I retorted.

"Yuigahama-san, as much as I agree with you on this matter, please stop clinging to me. It's becoming rather hot."

"Ah sorry."

The sun was just about to set. Was this going to be the last sunset that'll ever see in this clubroom?

"Hey, you two. You'll keep in contact right?"

"What do you mean?" Yukinon questioned.

"We aren't going to the same college right?"

"No we aren't." She replied saddened.

"So that means we should meet up regularly!" I exclaimed.

"Nah I'll be too busy." Hikki shot down.

"At least think about it!" I implored.

"I can't speak for the cretin over there, but I can say that'll try to make the time. I can't make too many promises though Yuigahama-san." Yukinon assured.

"Yeah Hikki you can make some time right? Apart from school you'll have nothing to do right? You don't have many friends right?" I questioned.

"Oi, leave me alone!" He shouted.

"Yuigahama-san, please be more considerate." Yukinon half-scolded.

"I don't need your consideration if it's ending up like that!"

"Hikkineet, just be glad that some took the time to care for your wellbeing." Yukinon retorted.

Hikki scoffed.

"I can look after myself thank you. I'll have you know that I've recently been able to cook curry. I'm all set for independence."

"If that's your version of independence, then I for one feel sorry for Komachi-san."

"Hey all I need is a beautiful woman who'll overlook my flaws! Then I'm set!" Hikki insisted.

"Hikigaya-kun, that'll only happen in the event of a zombie invasion. Which will never happen…Ehk! Ah, Yuigahama-san look! It started the zombie invasion started already." Yukinon exclaimed whilst pointing to Hikki.

"Hahaha very funny. You should get into acting. You'll make the best Yuki-onna in film history!" He replied sarcastically.

I wasn't really paying attention at that point. Did they notice? Did they see that they're eyes grew brighter and brighter? Did they realise their faces would grow wider and wider. And as I gazed I realised that this was meant to be. I was to be their friend and nothing more. The story of Hachiman X Yui must be written in another dimension. That brought tears to my eye. Hot, frustrating tears.

"Yuigahama-san, are you okay?" Yukinon probed as she saw my tears.

"Yeah, I'm just happy that everybody is back again." I lied.

"I'm just crying for all those things that could have been as well. That's all." I added.

I could tell that they didn't get it. But its fine, they didn't have to get it.

*Ring* *Ring*

*Yumiko*

"Oh Yumiko! Yahallo! What's up?"

"Hayato….He." She told me bluntly.

"I'm sorry." I mumbled.

"He was so mad, 'I don't want to hear this again! I don't want to hear from you two again!" That's what he said."

"You two?"

I asked that question but I knew the answer to that immediately.

"SENPAIIIIII!"

My story ends here. But other stories will continue, that's what I learnt on that tear filled day.


That's a wrap folks! Hope you enjoyed it. Please review if you want to.

The next title should be;

Hachiman Hikigaya will not.

I don't own Oregairu at all or else all other ships will be sinking by now.