Chapter 3:

It's been a week after that 'Hotaru-never-talked-to-me-ever-again' incident, and that's been my question: What am I going to do now? I made this situation worse! How am I going to tell this to Ruka-pyon? I could hurt his feelings you know… I'm starting to realize that Ruka-pyon is still in love with her, and I'm just nothing to him. I'm really that hopeless

About that Natsume (really hate to say this to you, Diary-san) Well, I haven't even talk to him because of his 'lovey-dovey' thingy with his long time girlfriend Luna, if you want to ask me if I am really jealous of them, sigh… Maybe a little bit. After hurting my feelings, I never forgave him since, with even saying sorry how I could love him the way I used to, but he just being stubborn, ignorant, bastard, ruthless (many negative traits to mention) kind of guy. For all these years I always realize that loving him was the biggest mistake I ever did in my life. I'm really that guilty

Back to Hotaru… I really need a shoulder to lean on (besides Ruka-pyon) I really need my best friend. If we talk again, I really want to say to her that I'm really…really sorry, if I did something embarrassing and annoying to her, I just don't want to lose my best friend. I'm really that regretful

It seems that Amenatsu, Anna, and Nonoko have been my best friends, yet I'm still afraid if someday, I could lose them, turn their backs on me, and never see them again. I'm really that scared

Above all, I'm just being an idiot living in this world of doubtfulness, who deserves NOTHING at all…

-X-

RIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNNNNNNGGGG! WAKE UP, BAKA!

Here am I, always slamming the alarm clock, I looked down from upstairs and saw Amenatsu cooking and whistling happily. Then, I looked around the kitchen, it was clean and radiant. After I looked around, she noticed me, stepping down the stairs.

"Ohayo, Mikan-chan…" she smiled while frying the rice,

"Ohayo, Amenatsu-chan," I smiled back at her. After I sat down the chair, she began scattering the books, "Your grandfather sent you a letter, umm… Here it is!" she handed me an old plain envelope with an addressee written upper left corner:

To my beloved granddaughter, Mikan Sakura

I opened the envelope, and then I opened the piece of paper folded in half, it says:

Mikan,

How are you? I hope that your fine, don't let your old man to see you very lonely. I hope things are going fine with you and Imai-san.

If you try to ask me if I'm okay, well high-blood that is. I always argue with the mailman for not receiving your letters, and even they once sent me to hospital, I was not aware of my medical condition. I can see that you're busy after all, well that's fine… As long you're okay, and don't be scared I'm not angry.

Don't let someone ruin your moment to shine, always keep fighting! Don't lose that chance when your dreams finally came true. Your parents will be so proud of you, and I'm looking forward to see you and your future.

Your GrandFather,
Nonno Sakura

After I read the letter, I almost shed a tear, sigh… It's easy to give up, but it's difficult to take it back once I did. I don't want to see Oji-chan to see me that I lost everything I promised to him. Diary-san, I will keep this letter to you so that I can remember how guilty I was. I couldn't tell this whole truth to him.

Amenatsu noticed me crying she put her hands on my shoulder and said, "Now, now, I don't want to see you cry, I don't want to see your day ruin. Just wipe your tears and eat your breakfast." She said in pitiful voice.

I smiled as I wipe my tears, "Nope. I'm not crying, and I'm not ruining my day at all." I said and she just eyed at me intently. "Uh-huuuh…"

"What?" I was annoyed with that face, and she just look away from me and said, "Well, I don't know if you can tell him what happened between you and my creator."

"So, you've been reading my letter, I hope so…"

"Is it because of Ruka-sama?" she questioned, and I was struck… I paused for a while then I looked down to my lap, "No" I lied, it is because of him, all of these were because of him.

"Look, I know you were lying. You always wi-"she said but I cut her off, "Just SHUT UP okay? I don't want to talk about it! It's not because of Ruka-pyon, it's because I don't deserve to be Hotaru's best friend. Because she always considers me as the big-pain-in-her-butt!"

"But she created me… for you… She created me because she missed you before you came to this academy." She looked down and I looked at her, I feel sorry for her… a bit.

"Just because I'm an idiot doesn't mean I am SOMEONE for her." I said as I look down, I pause there then I walk towards the closet to change.

-X-

RIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNGGGG GGGG!

Finally, lunch… I can just bury my head to my arms and watch Hotaru as she wipes her precious weapon; she seems peaceful…without me…

Well, I don't want to bother her right now… I'm…just….going…to…sl-

"Mikan… You look so bit down…What happened?" Anna came to side, I sighed and said, "Nothing, I'm just tired…"

"Wanna eat lunch with us?" she smiled, but I just simply answer, "No, thanks by the way…"

"Oh…kay… Well, if you change your mind, meet us at the cafeteria, kay?" she giggles.

"Okay…" I answered sleepily, and I looked at her walking towards Hotaru, they talked then she stood up from her seat and follows Anna.

Then Hotaru looked at me, but I just dug my head deeper in my arms, ignoring her.

-X-

At dismissal… I was assigned to be the one of the Thursday cleaners. I took out the trash, I was about to go back to classroom, but I stopped when heard an indistinct voice,

"So, all you're going to say that you want me to let you join my team…again?" the voice said

"Please, Natsume, I've been dreaming about this…" the second voice pleaded.

I moved closer, until I get the first glimpse of Natsume and the person he's talking with…

"Ruka, is it because you want to impress your stupid ex-girlfriend?"

WHAT?! He's joining soccer just because of Hotaru?

"But that's not what I-"he tried to explain but he doubtfully cut him off

"Save it, lover boy, she's not going to be happy if she sees you play with my team. You know she has no interest in saving her time and watching you play soccer, she gets so bored easily, do you remember that last time you played?"

After he said those words, Ruka's eyes were widened, and then he looked down the floor. I'm starting to know that he reminiscing his past… with Hotaru…

"That was long time ago…" He spoke after the short pause.

"And?" Natsume's eyebrows were raised

"And…I don't want… to happen… that again…" he continued as his fists were clenched.

"Good." He just smirked, and I twitched as my eyes were narrowing with anger.

He turned away, but he suddenly stops when he spoke, "It's no use to eavesdrop there, polka."

After he called my nickname, I came out from the shadows, dusting my skirt, and then I looked at them.

"Hehe, you knew it was me…" I chuckled nervously

"Sakura-san?" He saw me with a surprised look.

"Hahaha, nice to see yah again, Ruka-pyon" I scratched my head, "I'm just passing by…"

"Hmph, how much did you hear us, moron?" He asked while looking at me intently.

Terrified by his glare, I began to stammer, "A-a-almost all o-o-of i-i-it" I smiled but, that smile later turned into a frown. "Why? Why you're denying his request? You know this is for his own good!" I bawled. Ruka approached me and touched my shoulder, "Sakura-san, I…"

"It's none of your business, polka…" He turned again and walked a few steps away from us, I tried to follow him but Ruka-pyon just stopped me.

"AND BY THE WAY, DON'T CALL MY BEST FRIEND STUPID!" I shrieked,

"Sakura-san, don't…do this…"

I faced at him, and ask, "Why? Is it because of her? Is it because of my best friend?"

He looked down again, and replied, "Yes…"

I was silent and the same time was struck by his answer, "So…" I began, "Is that true, that you played soccer before?"

"Yes…" He answered, and I continue, "And you invited Hotaru, am I right?"

He looked at me and said, "Yes…"

I asked again, "What happened that day?"

Before he could answer, he sat down behind the wall, placed his hands on his forehead, and sighed, "That was seven years ago, I caught her hanging out with one of the best soccer player in this school, I was so jealous, so I joined Natsume's team, his team was the best! I played more diligently… But one day, there was a competition, like you said, I invited Hotaru to watch me play and she agreed sigh… But she didn't show any excitement at all, she was just sitting there, and I became a lousy player, I looked where she seated, but she left. So I fell down, broke my leg, and made Natsume and his team to lose the game. He blamed me for ruining his reputation. I just wanted to make her smile, but I failed… Just because I made her embarrass in front of the school months ago, and that's where she dumped me. I'm just a stupid, worthless guy for her."

"No, Ruka-pyon…" I bent down and said in a gentle voice," I think you're the coolest, sweetest guy… for me, I guess." I blushed.

"You think so?" He looked up, and I was lost in his beautiful blonde eyes, which made me to blush even darker. "Y-yeah, I-I- mean NO, I-I mean…. Y-yes…" I stuttered, and then I smiled.

"Then what about, Hotaru… What does she think of me?" He asked, and then my smiled faded.

How am I going to tell this to Ruka-pyon? Gosh, he's looking at me! Is it the time for me to tell the whole truth? What will happen to him, I don't want to see that he hates me or leave me alone… I…

I love him…

I waited for them to break up, so I can fill his gap in his heart… But he's still in love with her, and for that, there will be no space for me… He could forget me whenever he likes.

What will I do, Diary-san? All these fears of being rejected on the guy I truly love… I don't how I can solve it or cure it this kind of pain.

"She still thinks you're sweet… too… You had exerted so much effort in impressing her…" There goes my lying again, sigh… I feel so insecure in telling that.

"Oh…" That's the only word came out from his mouth. We paused for a while, then I grinned as I spoke, "Well, I think I need to go now! It's nice meeting you again!"

I was about to run away but, Ruka-pyon just stood up and grabbed my wrist, "Wait, Sakura-san!" he exclaimed.

I faced at him and asked, "What is it?"

"Will you help me?" he pleaded while holding my hands. It was warm and smooth…

"I-in w-what?" My sweat dropped, and my heart began to beat even faster.

He answered, "It's for Hotaru… Maybe you could help me to win the heart of the girl I truly loved for very long time…"

I was heartbroken with those words, my tears started to form.

He noticed me and asked, "Why? What's wrong?"

"Nothing, I'm just happy to help you…" I answered as I wipe my tears, "We'll do our best!"

"Thank you so much, Mikan…" he said politely as he held my hand tighter, but I look down the ground as my heart continued to shatter into pieces and disappear in the darkness.

-X-

RIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIN GGGGGGG! WAKE UP, BAKA!

It's 7:00 am and I'm still awake, sigh… I'm still thinking that reason why would I help Ruka-pyon…

'It's for Hotaru… Maybe you could help me to win the heart of the girl I loved for the very long time…'

That thought still echoes in my mind. Why would I fell in love with the guy who loves my ex-best friend? Is it because he came by my side to comfort me when the guy I loved years ago left me?

"Sakura-san!" a manly voice greeted, I looked up and saw Ruka-pyon running while waving towards me, but what's with that happy aptitude?

"Ohayo… Ruka-pyon…" I greeted heavy-heartedly.

"What's with the long face?" he asked, but I stayed silent, after that he said, "Listen, Natsume finally joined me to his team!"

"Really… That's….greeeaaat…" I said with a depressed tone.

He looked at me and said, "What's wrong with you, Sakura-san?"

"Ah! Nothing… I'm just happy…" I laughed nervously. He leaned down closer, and whispered, "You're weird…"

"Really? Well, I'm sorry about th-"

He cut me off when he continued, "And that's the only thing I like about you…"

"Eh?" I blushed, WAIT! WHAT DID HE SAY?!

He took hold of my hands and dragged me all the way to the hall, "Come on! Let's go!"

I followed him, and this time I am happy… I was like 'Thank you, Lord for bringing Ruka-pyon to me!'

But I had this feeling for the whole time… I was being watched again.


Hello, guys sorry for the late update! Well, I won't be writing for next week because there will be 2nd periodical test, darn it! Sorry for wrong grammars, I'm really into the plot not the grammar. So thanks!