AN: Chapter 3 at last... With the Easter Holidays over, these updates may get even more sparse :/


I'm Hoping

"You know I'm hoping you'll sing along, though it's not your favourite song; don't wanna be there when there's nothing left to say…" – Best Of Me, Daniel Powter

John tries to get Sherlock to open up more…


John waited for Sherlock to return. It was dark outside, so he had drawn the curtain and turned his bed-side lamp on, more as a way of keeping himself busy enough to forget the silence though. Sherlock returned from the bathroom, quiet. John could practically see the bubble that had formed around him again.

"Hey, sorry about before…"

"Nothing that you said requires an apology, John." Sherlock murmured in response.

"But- Hey, I told you about all that stuff." He said, changing the subject abruptly. "What about you? Any family outings, or anything?"

"No."

"What?"

"There are none. None I'd care to mention anyway."

"Oh…" John looked down.

"Sorry."

"It's not your fault, Sherlock." John said, with a smile as he sat down on his bed. "So then…" think of another subject… hm… ahha! "What do you do for fun usually?"

"Fun?"

"Yeah… You know, to relax?"

"Re… lax?"

"Do you not just… sit around?"

"Oh… Mother insists I work. Or I do the family accounts. Or similar activities."

"But…" John couldn't think what to say.

"If I'm not doing that, I research." Ahha! Something I can ask about!

"What do you research?"

"Chemistry, Biology, Physics… The odd maths problem if I'm bored."

"I suppose that's… fair enough." John muttered.

"Don't worry, I know it's something freaks do." Sherlock said, thinking he'd hid the sadness in his voice well. He probably had, but not from John. John held up his hands.

"No! I didn't mean that!" he cried.

"But you believe it." Sherlock stated."

"No." John said firmly. Sherlock looked at him, studying him… Confused. "I don't think you're a freak, Sherlock." He said. I seemed Sherlock didn't believe him. "Really, I don't think you're a freak."

"Even the teachers think I am, so why should I believe you don't?"

"Because I'm different…" John said, smiling. Sherlock couldn't stop the small smile that lit up his face. "Hey, have you got a nickname? Sherlock is a bit of a mouthful sometimes…" he asked, taking advantage of Sherlock's sudden happiness.

"Uh… Mycroft calls me Sherly… But I hate that." Sherlock explained. John thought for a moment.

"Hm… What about… 'Lock?" he asked.

"Okay." Sherlock said. Nobody had ever given him a nickname other than Mycroft. Myscroft only did it to mock him. Sherlock hated being called 'Sherly'…

"Okay, 'Lock." John grinned. "So what do you want to be?" he asked, trying to find something to talk about.

"I want to make my own profession." Sherlock said, quietly. He'd never told anyone else about this before. When he'd told Mycroft, he'd thought Sherlock was joking, and laughed.

"Oh?"

"I want to be a Consulting Detective…"

"What's that, like a Private Detective?"

"Sort of…"

"So, what's the difference?" John asked, genuinely interested.

"Private detectives are… well, private. But I want to be the one the police go to when they're one of their depth. Which is… well, always." Sherlock explained, earning a little chuckle from John.

"That sounds great!" John exclaimed.

"What about you?"

"Me? I want to be an army doctor."

"Oh?"

"I just want to… you know, help people." John said, with a grin. Sherlock smiled, although there was a hint of sadness. "What?"

"You're so kind=hearted John." He said. John blushed a little, looking down. But he looked up again, seeing Sherlock's dejected expression. "I don't have a heart."

"Yes you do."

"No. I don't, John. I don't understand… feelings." He said. John smiled kindly.

"I don't think that means you have no heart, 'Lock. Here…" he said, and he leant his head against Sherlock's chest lightly. Thu-thump, thu-thump. It sped up, and John pulled his head away to see a flustered look on Sherlock's face. "Sorry, but you're wrong." John said with a cheeky grin. Sherlock frowned in confusion. "You do have a heart, 'Lock. I can hear it."

"But…"

"But I think your heart is locked away, though." John cut him off, placing a hand on Sherlock's chest. "I guess it's kind of ironic, cause of your name, 'Lock. But I think that's why you don't really understand emotions. Your heart has been locked away."

Sherlock just stared at him. John moved forward a little, do they were now inches apart.

"I want to help you unlock it." He said. Sherlock felt a slight increase in his heart-beat again, but suppressed the blush rising to his cheeks. "But you have to try…" John sat back again. "You have to try and open up, yeah? Otherwise, nothing will change."

"O…kay?"

"Think of it like this… I we were a duet, and only I was singing, it wouldn't sound right. I'd need you to sing along too. Otherwise, the song wouldn't sound right. Even though it's not your favourite song, your input is needed. I know you don't want to open up, but it you don't we won't get anywhere." John explained. "Sorry, that was long-winded." He laughed. Sherlock didn't even smile. He just looked puzzled. "What?"

"Why do you want to help me?" he asked. "I'm certainly not worth the trouble."

"Is that what you think?" John asked. "You really don't think you're worth it?" Sherlock shook his head. "But you are. Why don't you think you're worth it?"

"Because I'm not. I'm a heartless freak. I don't deserve help. I don't deserve anything."

"Is that what your Mum's said?" John asked, his voice raising a little. Sherlock looked down. "It is isn't it!?" Sherlock stayed silent. "You can't listen to her, Sherlock!" he yelled finally, and Sherlock flinched. And as John saw a tear silently roll down his cheek, he realised… Sherlock may be a genius, with the intelligence of a 40 year old scientist, but he was still a child, held back mentally by his Mother's lack of love for him. And John yelling like that had been just like her slapping him…

Sherlock ran from the room and into the bathroom. DAMMIT! John cursed under his breath as the door slammed shut. He really wasn't doing well…


There we go, yes John upset Sherlock... Well done John XD I hope to get the next one written out soon-ish x Watch this space!