AN: Woops. Sorry for the wait, and thanks to the loyal readers. I'm happy about this story. It's getting better. Oh, and expect a twist soon. I'll give you a hint. HasdIasdNsdfAsdfTsdfAsdf'dfgSdfgPdfgRdfgEdfgGdfgNdfgAdfgNasdT. Decipher that!!

Chapter 3: Angel is the Centerfold

"Dammit!! I can't get a fucking break without running into her!!" I shouted into my pillow after running away from the dining room. I sat up, and quickly fell backwards, hitting my head on the wall in the process. I reached over to get my Ipod, and clicked it on; quickly switching it to Angel is the Centerfold by the J. Giles Band.

I looked over and saw my Konoha Babes issue lying on my desk. I got up and walked over to my desk, and threw the magazine to the ground as hard as I could. "GOD DAMMIT!!!!!!" I shouted. I walked over to my bed again, and punched the bed as hard as I could. This was a very hard point in my life, and the only point this harsh in my life was puberty. I hated my life.

I lied back, and sighed, letting out a deep breath. I never enjoyed school, hell; I never enjoyed anything except just reading the magazines I subscribed to. I took out my headphones, and quickly changed to Angel in the Centerfold. I always loved this song, and not just because I like perverse things and because the story is called that.

"Dammit Shika, you broke the goddamn fourth wall." "Sorry Tsubasa-san."

I turned around, and punched my bed again, shouting in my head, but finally stopped, due to the fact that I didn't want to turn emo and angsty, so I fell back, and started thinking of clouds, and I started falling asleep. But then, about ten minutes later, just when I was about to finally leave my reality, and felt something touch my cheek, and I heard a puckering kind of sound.

I opened my eyes narrowly, but began to open one wide, raising my eyebrow in the process. I saw the girl I fell in love with just today sitting right by me, looking at me smiling, "Well that woke ya up, eh Shika! You're being particularly Sasuke like." She gave me an obnoxious smirk, and I opened my mouth and let out a scream. "WHAT THE HELL!!!! DID YOU JUST… NO, YOU COULDN'T HAVE… BUT, YOU!!!!"

"Shut up, crybaby. God, but for some goddamn reason, I'm attracted to you. But nevertheless, I'll be going out with that red headed cutie, Sasori." Temari smirked. "Wha… What, Sasori…?" I stuttered, thinking back. "Because we know you're strong enough to go from the quad to university." "Oh shit, I think that was Fakey's name!!"

"Besides, Shika. You're too lazy to go after someone like me, and you're not into the kind of things I'm into." She smirked. She walked out, and stuck her tongue out at me. I looked at her, and got angry. I flicked off the door, before jumping out of the window with my wallet, my jacket, and my magazine. As I touched down, I walked towards Kiba's house.

A month had passed since the, okay; it had only been about ten days. I was over at Kiba's house, along with our other friends. Naruto was bashing at his DS along with Gaara, Neji, and Suigetsu on their's, playing Jump Ultimate Stars. Shino was throwing a ball at the wall over and over again, gaining some shouts from Kiba's sister Hana. I was listening to Kiba's speakers which were connected to my Ipod, and Kiba had snuck a camera in his sister's room and he was watching it through his TV. She had gone to the bathroom, but she wasn't using the toilet, sink, or shower. "Wrong, wrong, wrong…" Kiba had said repeatedly, falling back from seeing his sister… do something. "Dude, do your parents know you have the Playboy channel?" Naruto asked stupidly. "That's not the Cable…" Kiba said, horrified.

"Oh crap, I forgot to tell you guys that we need to go to the Mall." I shouted suddenly, "Why, so you can hit on girls?" Suigetsu grinned. "I doubt it; he has the hots for the sister." Kankuro grinned, entering the room. "Shut up." I said blankly. "And it's because I need to renew my subscription to Konoha Babes, so I need to go to Spencer's." I explained. "And besides, you can check out your places, ya know, Hot Topic, the cookie place." I smiled.

Well, with the mention of Hot Topic and cookies, Gaara was in, and if Gaara went, everyone had to go. Luckily, Kankuro had a license, due to the fact that he was a year older than most Sophemores, which apparently he was. How does he take classes with us then? We drove over there quickly, due to the fact that Gaara knocked out Kankuro and drove us there personally, due to the fact that "he had to stop the voices of the cookies that weren't in his belly yet." Weird dude, he was.

When we finally got there, and after we woke up Kankuro, who apparently now had a slight concussion and thought and he was some Kabuki prostitute for a second, but after I got to smack him a few times, he returned to normal, albeit a tiny bit pissed. We finally entered the large mall, and we decided to split up, and then we would meet later at the giant fountain.

"COOKIES!!!!" Gaara shouted, sporting his new slightly emo clothes and looking at all the cookies and all of the varieties. "Wow, well than, miss, I'll have one of every flavor." Gaara grinned. The cookie lady looked at him like he needed to go to cookie rehab, although, than again, the furry blue guy over there was in the fetal position, crying at all the flavors, and smoking cookie dough. "Silly cookie monster, cookies are for me bitch, so fuck off!!" Gaara shouted at the big blue dude.

"Hey little boy, I have cookies in my van, would you like the see all of them?" the man in black said. "Sure cookie man." Gaara said, ignorant due to the fact that he had smoked off the snicker doodle bong. Gaara walked with the man to the dark van, where, as expected, he was thrown into the trunk, where he sat there in chibi form, chewing on his peanut butter cookie.

Gaara spat the raisin cookie out, "Ugh, disgusting." He smiled, and he suddenly fell over at the van turning in the parking lot. However, he hit the door, causing it to open due to it not being closed all the way, and he, still in chibi form, rolled back to the cookie store.

Kankuro was being "different," and he had gone to ladies section to look for the makeup. Unfortunately, there were a lot of "ladies" there, along with all the emo kids. Kankuro looked at all of the "ladies" and emo kids, and slowly turned away, rubbing off his face makeup and walked away. "Cuz they feel real deep, when they're dressing in drag, they call it freedom of expression, I just call them a fag." Kankuro grinned.

"I'm bored…" Neji sighed. "I know what you mean!" Shino said which freaked out Neji quite a bit. Cuz everybody knows Shino doesn't talk. I personally think he took a vow of silence, like Garu from Pucca. Neji sat up, and quickly noticed something. The cousin of his who was like a little sister to him, walking into a clothes store with Naruto.

"Umm, Naruto-kun." A voice had said behind Naruto, who was looking at all the CD's. "Eh?" Naruto said as he turned around, but as soon as he fully turned around, Hinata kissed him passionately. After they parted, Hinata grabbed Naruto's hand, and led him into that clothes store across from the CD place. She took him into the dressing room.

"Well Shika, where the hell are the pervy mags?" Kiba smiled, with Suigetsu following behind them. "Over here." I replied. "Well, seeing as we both have a girlfriend, we'll leave you to your umm… things, we're going to get some slushies. Want one?" Kiba asked as he turned away. "Yeah, get me a Blue Raspberry Cherry Swirl." I answered. "Kay." Suigetsu smiled, and they both walked away.

I opened the book, and flipped through the pages. The girls were alright, ya know. I became slightly disturbed by the fact that I saw Ms. Tsunade and Ms. Shizune making out in the book. "Gross." I said flatly, flipping quickly to the end. "Wait!" I thought, as the lightning went through my head like to Amuro. I flipped back a few pages. And. There. Was. TEMARI!!!!

I dropped the book and ran out suddenly. I passed by all my friends, grabbing the slushie quickly, and I ran out of the mall, and towards where Gaara's house was.

Gaara didn't live far from the mall, and I got there in about 20 minutes. I opened up the window, and slipped in, walking up the stairs silently to where Temari's room was. I tried to open it, but it was locked. I focused my power in my legs, and kicked the door, knocking it down in the process.

I was met with horror. Fakey, as I called him, had Temari pinned down. She was topless, and as I was sad at first, I quickly noticed he had a knife. "What the…" I thought quicker than my mouth could say it. I ran towards Fakey, or Sasori, or whatever, and drop kicked him in the back, dropping him to the floor. He tried to get up, but I punched him in his face, knocking him out.

"Oh Shika-kun!" Temari shouted, quickly embracing me and crying. "What happened, Temari?" I said sternly. "My dad, he's tired of Kankuro and Gaara and me. He sent some guys after Gaara and Kankuro in the mall. Some blonde guy with a ponytail was sent to the makeup section to lure in Kankuro, and some relative of Uchiha is trying to lure Gaara into his van by using cookies! And Sasori worked for him!" "Dammit!" I shouted. "There's no way I could let Akatsuki get away with this now!!" I shouted.