The next morning Ted walked into the hospital waiting room and sat down. An older homely women introduced herself as Tara and called him into her office. Ted noticed her office was small as closet. Ted sat down in a folding chair.
"You are a good person wanting to learn more about your friends condition" Tara said
"Barney has always been one of my most interesting friends and he is not himself any more" Ted sighed.
"You have a right to be concerned; your friend has developed situation specific amnesia"
"What's that"
"its when a patient cant recall information from certain situations. usually the patient can't remember crisis events"
"Well my friend cant seem to recall anything about his party life or how to pick up women'
"I know, your friend is quite a unique case, its one of the first times when memories blocked out are not of a traumatic event" Tara said looking through a pile of papers
Tara went on to explain more about the disease. She explained to Ted that he could help speed things up by trying to make Barney's life normal.
" But my friend's lifestyle is full of drinking, staying out all night and schemes to get laid" Ted said feeling uneasy.
This was hardly the life style a nurse would recommend. He thought to himself how as much as he did not want to admit it; Lily had a point. Barney sort of was living a healthier lifestyle. He was even eating Teds home cooked meals instead of the take out he usually had. In addition he always left early for work. Lately he had left before Ted woke up.
" Still it is important to keep things as normal as possible, encourage him to party, hook him up with women" Tara said much to Teds shock.
Eventually Ted left to go home; he had a lot to think about
Later that day the phone rang.
"Oh hey marshal!"
"Hey Ted"
"Bad news, Barney does have amnesia !"
"Ted that's why I called. I don't get why you are all making a big deal, Barney is fine"
"Marshal he is not fine he is not himself he has Situation specific amnesia"
"Sorry bro but he is just confused or maybe he is acting this way because he thinks Lilly and I are still
mad. Either way he is not suffering from anything"
Ted felt like the conversation would never end but it did.
"Barney!" he called. Ted was not up for a long night of partying but he figured he would at least get some numbers. "Barney!"
When no one answered he walked into the living room. He saw Barneys door closed. Well its 930pm looks like its Barneys new bed time. He thought to himself.
The apartment was eerily quiet. Sure in the past barney had spent many a night at a random girls place. However, somehow knowing his friend was asleep in his room made the apartment more silent. He pushed open Barneys door to see the back of barneys head poking out from a pile of covers. A Lifetime movie was playing on mute.
Ted closed the door and went to the liqueur cabinet. He grabbed a bottle Barney had earlier nicknamed "Panty-be-gone" He chugged a long sip.
The next thing Ted knew he was lying in his bed with a pounding headache and an urge to vomit. Ugh how much did I drink, he thought to himself. He looked over to see a large chested lady in the bed next to him.
"How are you doing Prince Radner? She said loudly.
"Whaaat?"
"You were telling the whole bar you were Prince Radner from Wales. You were so happy to meet a girl who did not want you for your money, You even made up a song."
"Oh god!" Ted grabbed his head in shame
"Yea, I knew you were just trying to score, sadly I have a weakness for guys in suits!" Big chested lady said putting on her Dress.
Ted opened his mouth to speak
"I am not even going to ask who you are!" she continued shaking her head and storming out.
Kids It was then I realized how important barney was to the group. With out him I was the schemer, and an awful one at that. Barney was a much better Barney then I could ever be.
Ted walked to the kitchen and opened a bottle of Gatorade. He grabbed his head and leaned on the counter.
"I still hate wearing these things; I don't see why I need to wear them for work!"
Ted turned to see Barney in the kitchen suited up.
"I am glad I have the day off ! I drank a bit too much" Ted said.
"Ted sit down"
Ted slunk down at the table "What barney?"
"Ted I am worried for you! I saw a ill dressed lady leave your room this morning. Women are meant to be respected. dude"
"Don't worry I wont be doing that again!" Ted said and meant it.
"You should not drink to escape your problems. I heard you fighting on the phone. If you are sad then let yourself be sad. I saw this special on Dr Phil On how men are afraid to express their feelings. Just let it all out and cry"
Ted Looked up at Barney. Maybe it was the hangover talking but he really wanted to slap him.
"Ted I am going to teach you how to live" Barney continued.
In spite of it Ted giggled to himself. Even this Barney thought he had to teach him how to live.
Barney Left for work. A few hours later Ted cleaned himself up and called Robbin and Lilly and asked them to meet him down stairs. He needed his friends help with Barney, but most of all he needed some fatty food.
Robin and Lilly were already at their booth when Ted arrived. Ted sat down next to Robin and filled them in on everything. Robin pointed out that because he had situation specific it made sense that Barneys Amnesia did not seem to affect his work life.
Ted ordered some food while Lilly and Robbin sung along with Katy Parry's newest song.
"Listen I need your help. Tara said we need to make his life as normal as possible. I will need your help we will all need to be barneys wing men" Ted said. "without him knowing" He added quietly.
"Agreed!" said Robin.
Lilly's phone beeped. She looked at it. "I so agree" she almost shouted.
Robin and Ted looked at her in surprise.
"Barney has been sending me corny quotes about love and motherhood. He send me 20 so far. Now he sent me a video of a baby petting a puppy. " Lilly said putting her phone in front of Robbin. Both Ted and Robin cringed. "something must be done lets get barney hooked up!" Robbin said as everyone cheered.
