"Kid..that was quite possibly the most disturbing thing I have EVER seen in my life." Zabuba muttered as he looked out over the end result of Naruto's work. A few of Gato's thugs were lucky enough to get away diving over the side of the bridge, The ones left, however, were either unconcious and twitchy or curled up into balls crying for their mothers along with Gato himself, "And I thought you said it was going to be painless"
"Ha, you oughta see what I'm capible of after I have time to plan." The blonde chuckled as the villagers finally arrived, "And it was, but I didn't say for who. Though I think the chicken's gonna need some serious therapy."
"Um, do we even wanna know what happened?" One of them asked.
"If it's why Tazuna was crying about 'fruit being used for unspeakable evil'...probably not." Another responded.
While they proceeded to deal with the businessman and his grunts, Naruto looked over at his so-called team. Kakashi and Sasuke had passed out again and were whimpering in their sleep, Sakura had finally come to, and after seeing her crush's state, immediantly laid the blame for it squarely at the blonde's feet and tried to beat him for it.
That is, until Haku introduced her to the wonders of duct tape.
"I really hate fangirls." She muttered, blushing brightly when Naruto's arms wrapped around her.
"I do believe you and I are gonna get along just fine, Haku-chan." He grinned, and hugged her tight.
"Mmmphhhh!" Sakura fidgeted from her new posistion on the ground
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Once Tsunami managed to get her father out from under the sink, the bridge was completed in a couple of days, with a promise that they'd send the rest of the payment once they got some business coming in. Inari was more curious about Naruto's new look.
"It's a one-of-a-kind job." Was all the boy could get out of him.
Soon the time came for them to go. Gato had already been shipped off to the Fire Daymio for trial. They said their goodbyes and started the trek back to Konoha. Since the two sharingan users were still out of it and Haku had taped up Sakura for the third time in two days after she attempted to pummel Naruto for, as she put it, 'making her Sasuke-kun look bad' after finding out he had delt with Gato himself, they decided to just toss the three of them onto an old blanket and drag them back.
On the way, Zabuza decided now was a good time to ask the question he had floating around, "Kid..Naruto..what happened? I mean, before you were a short oddball. Now..." He gestured vaguely at him.
"Hm? Oh, the suit and everything? It'll be easier if I save it for when we get back and tell the old man too. Just don't wanna have to repeat myself, plus.." he jerked a thumb to their 'baggage', "I don't want those choads overhearing."
"Mmmrree!"
"That's right, Pinkzilla." Naruto replied, not even bothering to look back at her, "Well, technically, Princess Emo and his fanboy there are the choads. You're the gooch."
"Rrrrhhhmmm!"
"Oh, that's simple: calling someome by their actual name is normally a sign that you like and/or respect them. I think all three of you are pantloads, so I'm not even gonna bother."
"Wow, you really don't like them.." Zabuza wasn't sure if he should phrase that as a statement or question.
"Well, considering my 'team' consists of a one-eyed scarecrow who blatenly reads porn out un front of everyone, is two hours late..at the least, even to meetings with the Hokage, and barely hides that he'd rather train only the emo-dick; a broody, self-absorbed, power-mad asshole who thinks everyone should be singing his praise ands runs crying to the civilian half of the council every time he's told no; and a damn fangirl who thinks Kami herself lives in the teme's rectum, attempting to hospitalize anyone who says otherwise, and is completly incapible of talking at any volume below 'nails on a chalkboard...that's putting it rather mildly." Naruto replied, giving the three a glare.
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Needless to say, when they finally reached the village gates the state they were in caused a bit of a stir. Several Uchiha lovers tried to demand what they had done or attempt to wake the boy up. That quickly ended when Zabuza growled and drew his cleaver. Kotetsu and Izumo, the chunin stuck with guard duty, were too busy laughing like idiots when they heard Kakashi whimper, 'Ka-ka be good boy, Clucky-sama' in his sleep.
They quickly made their way to the Hokage's office (abandoning the blanket after their 'luggage' did an impressive slinky impression down a couple flights of stairs), where he was cussing up a storm about the paperwork
"Can you write a few of those down, Gramps? Especially that last one!" Naruto chuckled, getting his attention.
"Um, who are you, and why is there an A-rank missin-n-n-Naruto!" The man yelped when he saw the whisker marks.
"Yep, it's your favorite wiseass!" The blonde grinned, "As for why Zabs and Haku are here..well, I suggested they come join Konoha. Hell, when we first met, Zabuza was kicking the scarecrow's butt even with his Sharingan out for half the fight. And Haku gave me and the teme hell with that mirror thing of hers. I figured it's an even trade. They get an actual place to stay, and I get a chance to work with people that aren't complete dipshits like these three." He gestured to the bodies on the floor.'
"Well...I'll admit, you do have quite the reputation, Zabuza. Although if I do allow you and..Haku, was it? If I allow you to stay, you will have to be put on probation for a couple of months since you are technically a wanted shinobi."
Zabuza simply shrugged, "Eh, not surprised."
The Hokage allowed himself a brief grin at the reaction before turning to Haku, "However, there's no info about you in the bingo book, so I'm somewhat at a loss info-wise."
"Actually, I 'm not an offical shinobi." She replied, "I trained under Zabuza after he went missing-nin."
"Wait..you mean Prince Emo got his ass handed to him...*snort*..by a girl who's technically still a civilian?" Naruto's face nearly split from the grin, "Oh this is GOLD! Please tell me you'll take a photo of his reaction if you tell him?"
Sarutobi cleared his throat to get their attention, "As interesting as that would be..Naruto, perhaps you could explain what happened?"
"Oh yeah. One sec." Naruto looked over when he heard the sounds of certain people finally waking up. The bloond took a deep breath, then...
BUUUUUUUUURRRRRRRRRPPP!
The pale green mist he expelled wafted over Sakura, Sasuke, and Kakashi. The others in the room watched in shock, and slightly grossed out, as all three froze where they were then collasped in a heap, twitching a little.
"Whoa." Haku said, seeing what else the mist had done. Whatever it was, it was potent enough to scorch off their eyebrows and a good portion of their hair, curling up what was left.
"Don't want them to hear." Naruto muttered before giving a recap of what had happened.
To say Hiruzen Sarutobi was livid at hearing about Sasuke using his own teammate as a shield, and being proud of it, was an understatement. He wasn't too happy with Kakashi after Zabuza's recollection of the masked jounin's statements.
"Incompetent..." He growled, staring at the unconcious trio.
"Oh..there is one more thing."
"Hm?"
"I'm not a jinchuuriki anymore."
Dead silence.
"I..I'm sorry..I must have something in my ear. It sounded like you said that you ..."
"Weren't a jinchuuriki, yeah. I'm not. Fuzzy's gone on the hereafter."
"H-hold on!" Zabuza's attention snapped back and forth between the leaf nin, "You're saying you had a tailed beast in you?"
"Pretty much. Kyuubi, the nine-tailed fox. The Fourth Hokage sealed it into me after it attacked Konoha."
"Wait..if you were the carrier, then..."
Naruto glared at his 'teammates', "Those three were pretty much just a sample of the bullshit I had to put up with in this town. As far as their concerned, I was just the fox in disguise.." He was cut off when Haku suddenly wrapped her arms around him, "I'm all right, Haku." He responded, patting her back, "Just get pissed off thinking about it. Though, this time..." His face twisted into a smirk that screamed 'evil', making the Hokage almost feel sorry for his village's populus. Key word: almost.
"Right.." The Hokage briefly considered the pros and cons of his next question before continuing, "Naruto, if you don't have the Kyuubi anyone like you say, then where is it?"
The suit-wearing blonde scratched the back of his head, "You may wanna pull up a chair. Thi's gonna take a while."
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Took a little longer than I had intended, but Ch. 3 is finally done.
