"It's been three days and she hasn't complained about being cooped up in there," Liara stated as she sat down at the mess table next to Doctor Chakwas.
Everyone knew that the Commander hated being out of the action, bargaining with the Doctor the second she was conscious or simply leaving of her own free will against Chakwas' advice.
"Liara she's been barely been conscious at all."
"Why is the medi-gel not working? She should be healed and up and about bossing everyone around," Liara knew her words were slightly harsh, she preferred to say that the Commander 'led' rather than bossed, but her anger was all that kept her from falling apart at the severity of the situations reality.
"The medi-gel is working T'Soni but in case you didn't notice the woman is missing quite a chunk out of her side and I don't about you Asari, but humans don't just grow back ribs and a few vital organs overnight."
"You're exaggerating."
"Barely."
The two stared at each other until Doctor Chakwas spoke again, elaborating on her previous statements, "The particle beam that shredded Shepard's armour broke two of her ribs in several places, decimated her liver where it made contact and perforated her right lung which is why she started choking on her own blood," The Doctor could see Liara's muscles tightening as she explained, "And that's just what the particle beam did to her."
"There's more?" Liara's head fell into her hands.
"That's the worst of it," Chakwas added quickly to alleviate any extra panic, "She did manage to catch quite a number of bullets too. Her armour did take the brunt of it but some of them still made it through her skin, though not far enough to be of… vital importance."
"But Shepard's going to be okay?"
Chakwas hesitated, "We've been given orders to take her to Earth."
Behind Chakwas a gasp caught their attention. The two turned and found Kelly standing in the kitchen with a steaming mug in her hands, "Earth? We're going to Earth?"
Liara looked back at Chakwas, "I do not understand, why is this significant other than it being your home planet?"
Kelly moved towards the two to join the conversation properly, "There's only one reason why they send soldiers home."
Liara was still perplexed, "Shepard is not Earth born, she was born on a ship and has told me a few times that she has no specific location that she identifies as 'home'… Except for maybe the Normandy."
Kelly and the Doctor looked at each other for a moment and then Chakwas stepped up to fill Liara in on the Alliance's protocols, she began speaking a gentler tone than before, "When a soldier is… facing their mortality, they are relieved of duty, discharged, and sent home. Shepard's mother is currently on Earth."
Liara didn't respond immediately, it took a moment for Chakwas' choice words to sink in with her, "You're saying Shepard is dying?"
"I am saying that the Alliance does not foresee the Commander coming back from this one and they want to have her body at home base for burial depending on Captain Shepard's requests."
"Captain Shepard…? Oh, her mother. Right," Liara was shaking, she didn't realise it until Kelly pushed the warm mug in between her hands.
"You don't have to drink it, but holding it will help, just focus on its warmth," She moved to Liara's side, crouching down and instinctually moving into her role as a 'support officer' as she was unofficially dubbed by the crew when they found out about her credentials as a psychologist. It was not so bad, there were worse titles that previous crews had come up with. But her credentials aside, she genuinely wanted to help the Asari in distress, or anyone else in the crew, especially after the traumatic experience they had all been through. I must talk to Miranda about her betrayal of Cerberus and her plans for the future at some point. She noted to herself.
"How did she even walk?" Liara asked quietly, staring into the depths of the warm brown liquid in the mug.
"Pardon?" Kelly asked.
"Shepard, if Shepard's injuries are as severe as you say they are, how did no one notice and how was she walking at the end of it all?"
Chakwas answered for Kelly, "Adrenaline. Adrenaline does some crazy things to humans, there are stories of people lifting cars or walking on shattered legs or not even feeling vital injuries because of it. I suspect though that the Commander wouldn't have lasted much longer on adrenalin alone if she hadn't made it back to the Normandy."
Liara nodded, merely an indication that she had heard the Doctor speak, "Adrenaline… You think because of this hormone Shepard was able to keep going? Keep fighting even though her body was breaking apart…" The devastation of Shepard's injuries was sinking in.
"Truthfully," Kelly spoke up, "I don't think the Commander cared for her wellbeing at all, I think she was focused on saving the rest of the galaxy and believed the price to pay for achieving that was her own life. I don't think that the Commander believed she would come out of the other side-"
"No," Liara cut in, shaking her head and pushing the mug away, "No. I was with Shepard before she went groundside, she was so calm despite everything, so grounded, she… she wanted to come back."
"Then that's why she fought so hard, pushing the boundaries of her physical limits so she could make it back to you."
Liara paused, realising how Kelly had set the conversation up for her be receptive of her final assessment of Shepard's mental state.
The crew had all been thinking about the attack on the Collectors, no one could prevent themselves from thinking about it for very long no matter how hard they tried. The day kept repeating over and over in their heads, pondering different scenarios, wondering if they could have saved more or would they have lost the entire crew if things had gone differently.
Being the only medical adviser on the ship, Doctor Chakwas had spent a long time thinking about her actions and the consequences they had for the Commander, she questioned if she had done everything correctly or if there was more that she could do, "Liara, you asked how Shepard was able to keep going? Aside from adrenalin, I would also like to add that Shepard's armour acted as a compress to her wounds and when she took it off, she effectively took reopened her wounds. A necessary evil for her to get treatment but a risky decision I wouldn't have let her take had there been time to find another solution."
Liara nodded, "What happens if Shepard lives?"
Kelly and Chakwas looked at each other a moment but it was the latter who spoke, quietly as the serious nature of what she was about to say dawned over her, "She'd be taken into Alliance custody, imprisoned until she can be tried and court-martialled for treason and most likely, discharged from the military."
Liara frowned, "The Alliance would fire her for saving the galaxy? I do not understand."
"The way the Alliance sees it, Shepard betrayed them by working with Cerberus. To them it doesn't matter that she was working towards the greater good, only that she disobeyed orders and worked with their sworn enemy."
"Wait, Shepard is a Spectre though?"
"Who knows what the council will have to say about Shepard's actions, she saved the galaxy again but they weren't too thrilled about her working with Cerberus either. They might revoke her Spectre status."
"They'd do that?! After everything Shepard has done for them? For the galaxy?"
"We've all seen how the council has reacted to the Commander, they didn't believe her until Sovereign was right on top of them."
Having heard most of the conversation, Tali stepped forward, "Shepard's not alone though, we'll fight for her if they try anything."
"Yeah, we could have been at Earth yesterday but Joker's been stalling them, saying we needed to make emergency repairs or gather supplies before going to Earth… We can't keep that up for long though," Chakwas added.
There wasn't a whole lot to do on the ship, there were repairs to be done however all the major issues had been resolved and no one could focus on the minor details long enough to get much done. While it wasn't shore leave, the crew was grateful for the break, for a chance to sleep, breathe, talk to each other and really reflect on the trauma they'd been through together and come to terms with it all.
Liara handed the mug back to Kelly, "I want to see Shepard."
"Liara-"
"I know we've been through this before, but I need to see that she's going to be okay," Liara started out strong, but the further into her sentence she got, the lower her voice got, almost breaking at the end of it as her emotions threatened to overwhelm her. Her dependence on Shepard's wellbeing was made abundantly clear in that moment.
Chakwas thought about it for a moment before responding carefully, "Okay… I'll let you know when she's next conscious," The doctor then got up, taking her mug of coffee from the table and heading back to the infirmary.
