Disclaimer: Lost holiday episodes I wish Disney would broadcast:

A Christmas Carol staring Pim Diffy as Scrooge,
Groundhogs' Day with Lloyd Diffy organizing the party for his children's friends,
Aluminum Siding Week,
Valentine's Day - just because,
Happy Aliens' Day,
April Fool's Day - Pim's own holiday, but Barbara showing off her own pranking past,
Wizrds' Appreciate Week,
Lobster Remembrance Night with a trip to the beach to perform the Dance of the Lobsters,
And, of course, Take Your Daughter and/or Robot to Work Day.

Until then, I'll just have to come to terms with a TV Guide which is sadly lacking, and the realism of not owning Phil of the Future. I asked Disney for it again and again, but I was informed:

"No" Means No.

5

He reminded himself later that it was a no brainer what to do next. He had to do what was best ... for himself.

Coloring his voice with frivolity, "How's the fact-finding tour going, Boss? Where are you now?"

"The Riviera. Can you believe it? Did you know that you can wear one of those micro swimsuits and not stand out here? And the women, they've found a new fashion use for dental floss."

"That's great. Um, the fact-finding?"

"Oh, yes, well, it seems that there may indeed be a correlation between refrigerated water coolers and higher student test scores -"

"Gee, really? That's fascinating, so I guess you'll be coming -."

"- but it still needs more - WOW! Will you look at her!"

"What? WHAT?" hungered the vice-principal saddled with the duty of denying any appearance of teenage bellybuttons on school grounds.

"You'd have be here to believe it, Neil. So, what's this about an assault on my campus?"

"How'd you hear about that so quickly? It just happened."

"I have my sources. That's how I got to be Principal. Keep that in mind and maybe someday you'll have a big office, too."

Neil Hackett scanned the faces of the staff surrounding him. Which ones, he wondered, snitched? And where did Tillywack get off calling this "his" campus? Who could even remember the last time he'd set foot on H. G. Wells's soil? Talk about a total lack of school spirit, about being self-centered, about a complete disregard for the welfare of the students, about ... oh, yeah, "Via".

"I'll remember that. Thank you. SCKRIIZST - SXXKKS - CKUSS - Sorry, Boss. Long distance line -attic on line. You're -aching up. You're aching up. I'll sen- report when - Enjoy the view. Arrivederci!" Involving his penchant for sound effects, Neil terminated the bothersome telephone call, but now those office eyeballs seemed super glued to the back of his neck. Spinning around, he challenged his onlookers with the steeliest gaze he could muster, daring them to answer with a single word, "What?"

"I thought people only pulled that in old movies," came the comment from deep in his own office. Snickering erupted, each silenced by Hackett's beady eyes.

"Quiet, Owen."

"Really, really, really old movies."

"Ohh-wen!"

"Maybe silent ones, or ones before telephones."

In a hushed tone, Mr. Hackett begged for a positive answer, "Miss Desmocker, please tell me you've contacted all the parents involved, especially HIS."

"Almost all, Mr. H."

"(Groan) And please, never call me that again."