AN: It's been quite a while since I updated this fic. Sorry to the few people who will probably read this. I was planning on doing a Christmas fic at some point, but I haven't been in the festive mood, and I've been working on this for about two weeks, and only wrote the majority of it today, so I'm pretty tired. So, onto the info about the fic. It's based on the anime Shiki, which I have not finished yet, so I apologise for any errors. In this story, Gareki and Yogi basically take the place of Natsuno and Tohru, but the other characters are the same, so yeah. Also, has anyone noticed that all of these fics have focused on Gareki? I can't really write Yogi that well, but maybe I'll try to next time.

Character(s): Gareki, Yogi, Megumi Shimizu (Shiki character, mentioned), Nai (mentioned).

Pairing(s): Gareki x Yogi, Megumi Shimizu x Gareki (mentioned, one-sided).

Warning(s): Shounen-ai, although that should be pretty obvious by now, and spoilers for the anime Shiki.


It's been a while since the incident that sent Gareki to the grave, and he still hasn't got over it. But, what did he expect? Bitten by his best friend, rose again, and everything is just a jumble, a mess, and Gareki has no real idea what's going on.

His fists clench as he his thoughts run wild. Why did that have to happen to Yogi, of all people? Why did it have to happen to anyone? The raven didn't get the Shiki, the one who started it all, the one who stalked him during the day and the night, the one with the brightest smile he'd ever seen, all of them. He just didn't understand.

Coexisting seemed such a hard problem to solve to them. They continued to feed, and feed, and feed, like they didn't even see what was wrong with it. Killing innocent people, destroying the lives of those in the village, tearing apart the village itself, not that Gareki cared for Sotoba, rather the people who stayed there, or at least, the person who once did.

But the person Gareki had once known had disappeared, and all was left was an empty shell, the beautiful and blinding grins gone, replaced with resent and remorse, and it hits Gareki hard how different Yogi was. The Yogi he knew was gone, plain and simple.

It's hard to forget everything they had been through, but he had to. To destroy all the Shiki in this god forsaken village, he had to forget everything about the one person who would make him stop. It was the only way he could go through with everything.

But sometimes, on cold, damp nights like this were his dreams won't stop, visions of a blonde boy fresh in his mind, Gareki likes to think of the way things once were. Before his eyes transformed from beautiful violet to cold black. Before his skin became so pale and lifeless. Before he lost the light that would shine through any cloud. Before all of it. When the boy he loved so much was just an incredibly idiotic, and incredibly adorable and incredibly kind teenager, living his perfectly normal life with his perfectly normal family and his perfectly normal friends, standing by Gareki's side, looking over him with a smile and-

He has to slam his eyes shut, and just stop for second, to remind himself that all of that was gone. The laughter, the happiness, was all gone. The things present in his mind, were all delusions of a damaged mind waiting for the one he loved so much to come back to him. But he would never come back.

Ever since Yogi was bit, ever since Yogi bit him, everything has fallen apart, the raven thinks. No more late nights at the Mutou house, no more refuge from that pink-haired bitch who had bugged him every night, no more escape from his stupid family. And worst of all, no more Yogi.

The blonde was Gareki's whole world. The one thing that had kept him from running away, the helping hand when things got rough, the only person who could even make him smile. He still loved Yogi after everything the blonde had been forced to do. And that was still a problem, no matter how hard one part of him fought against that decision.

The shiki deserved to be taken down, all of them. They were a plague, a disease, that shouldn't be allowed to exist. They caused pain, destruction, horror, grief, guilt and they needed to be stopped. All of them.

But there was Yogi, compassionate and selfless Yogi, who didn't deserve anything that the shiki had caused him, not the agony, not the sorrow. Yogi, who needed to be treasured. Someone who stood out against the plainness of the world, enveloping everyone he touched in his light, and who brightened up his life, and- Gareki slams his fist against the ground. Stop it, he orders.

No matter how hard he tries, Gareki can't fully forget and it kills him inside. Because it's either save one boy and entire vicious race will be allowed to kill as they choose, or destroy the boy he loves and watch that race burn. And he can't choose both.

If he runs off with Tohru - because that's the only way that they could escape, without those bastards coming after them - the village would be left to the picking of the shiki, and if he doesn't the shiki get slaughtered and the world is rid of them forever.

The choice is so, so difficult, and Gareki knows the right answer in the eyes of the world, but he also knows the right answer in his eyes. But, there is only one choice he could make, and for that he is sorry.

I'm so sorry Yogi.

At least, they would meet in another life, right? Well, that's what he hoped.


"Gareki-kun?"

The raven looks up, yawning. In front of him is Yogi, shrugging off a heavy jacket, and he realises that his mission must be over.

"What?" he replies sharply, glaring at the blonde for ruining his sleep. True, he wasn't having the best sleep with that dream, but still.

"Um," the blonde says, looking at Gareki cautiously. "It's just, you were saying some weird things in your sleep."

Gareki raises his eyebrow. "And?"

Yogi twiddles his thumbs, "You were talking about shiki, and I was wondering if you had a bad dream or not?" The last bit comes out slightly squeaky, as if he was scared what Gareki would say back.

"I didn't." Gareki stares up at the blonde's worried face, and sighs. What did he expect? "I'm fine," he states, relaxing against the cushions once more, closing his eyes. "No need to worry. Shouldn't you go see Nai now? He couldn't wait for you too get back."

"Ah, okay, Gareki-kun!" Yogi replies, perking up, before skipping out the door. Gareki smiles at the happy tone he hears in the blonde's voice, cracking one eye open to check if he did leave. He didn't want the blonde to see him break down.

Settling down, falling sleepy as the ship grew quiet, only the sounds of Yogi and Nai playing together in the background, Gareki thought to himself.

If only you could remember, my shiki.


AN: So I decided at the end to also make it a resurrection fic for some reason, although that probably wasn't clear. Despite this, and the fact that it may be disjointed due to the time taken to write it, and the fact that I wrote the middle of the fic before the beginning of it, I think this turned out pretty well, compared to my other fics. Hopefully, another fic will be up for the new year, but probably not.