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Author's notes: This is a nice little story song. Unfortunately isn't wasn't long enough so I had to gloss over the end of FotR, all of TTT and RotK in 2 verses, so don't flame me for leaving out your favourite bit. And I also know there are some inaccuracies, but I was going for the best rhymes. So sue me. Speaking of suing me, I don't own Tolkien's wonderful characters or the Irish Rovers who originally sang this song. But they called it "The Unicorn". No one in particular sings this song, just a random narrator.
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A long time ago when the earth was green,
There were more kinds of races than you've ever seen,
They ran around free didn't care about the ring,
But the jolliest of them all were the Halflings.
There were dirty old dwarves and elves over there,
Some beardy-weardy wizards and Isildur's heir,
Some orcs and ents and oliphaunts, but it's a sure thing,
The happiest of them all were the Halflings.
Now Elrond saw the ring and it gave him pain,
And He said "Who's going to take Isildur's bane?"
He said "Gandalf you're the man, you won't take no lip,
You lead the Fellowship. And take some of them...
Dirty old dwarves and that elf over there,
A big tough warrior and Isildur's heir,
You'll meet some orcs and ents and oliphaunts, but don't forget one thing,
The most important of them all are the Halflings."
Well Gandalf took heed and led them away,
And he took them up Caradhras and in the snow there they lay.
They marched back down the mountain through the snow,
The mines of Moria were the way to go. With theā¦
Dirty old dwarf and the elf over there,
Big tough warrior and Isildur's heir,
They met some wargs, crebain and watchers, but they didn't get the ring,
It was protected by a halfling.
Well Gandalf looked around, they were locked inside,
The Fellowship were scared, and all trying to hide.
The Took started a drumming and a splashing down the well,
Oh that silly Halfling.
The dirty old dwarf and the elf over there,
A big tough warrior and Isildur's heir,
They fought some orcs and trolls and balrogs, (that might have wings),
And Gandalf left the halflings.
Well the Fellowship was sundered, they drifted with the tide.
Two halflings went to Mordor and destroyed the ring as Gollum cried.
And the eagles came down and sort of flew them away,
And that's why the Halflings are free this very day.
You'll see dirty old dwarves and elves over there,
Some beardy-weardy wizards and Isildur's heir,
Some orcs and ents and oliphaunts, but it's a sure thing,
The fattest of them all are the Halflings.
