"So, what are we going to do for the rest of the night?" Amu smiled at Utau. It was currently only 8 PM and they usually stayed up to at least 12 AM the next day. It was a weekend after all, so they might as well enjoy it.
"Hmm…" Utau stared off into space, deep in her own thoughts. The word played over and over in her head. Cancer. Cancer. Cancer. Cancer. Someone has cancer. Was it Amu's father? Ami? She never got a chance to read the name of the patient because Amu was returning from the bathroom. She looked over at Amu who looked so happy. How could she be so happy when someone in her family was dying? Utau knew how important family was to Amu.
"Utau, are you okay?"
Shouldn't she be the one to ask that? Utau took a deep breath and looked at Amu. She started slowly. "Amu, we've been best friends for more than five years now." She looked up at Amu's face for a reaction before continuing on. "And you know you can trust me about anything. Is there something you want to… tell me? Get off your chest?" She looked at Amu expectantly, waiting for her to break down and confess everything.
Amu looked at Utau for a long time. "What is there to tell you?" She gasped. "F-fine! I have a picture of your brother… b-but I-I swear it's nothing bad!" She blushed. "I-I thought you knew about that too and-"
"Not that." Utau's voice was sharp and she surprised both Amu and herself. She let out a deep breath. "Sorry. But… I know about it. The cancer. I saw the paper in your bag." She looked up at Amu's shocked face. "But you know I'll be with you the whole entire way. Who is it? Is it your father? Or Ami?" There was uncertainty visible in Amu's face as she thought it over. Utau waited for a reply.
Amu looked down for a second. This was the moment of truth. Utau knew that her mother had died from cancer, and that's why she thought it must be tough for her. But if she already found out about it, there was no use in keeping it a secret from her any longer. "Me."
Utau just stared at her dumbly. "What?" She had definitely heard wrong.
"It's me. I have the cancer." Amu looked up at Utau's shocked face. She laughed. "It's nothing Utau. The doctor said I have five months left to live. That's a pretty long time if you ask me. Mama only had three months left."
"Amu." Utau tried to keep her voice even. "How can you take this so lightly? Five months… is a little time no matter how much you think about it!"
Amu laughed. "You should like Dr. Amaya when you say those things. But it's fine." Utau's glare told her that it wasn't fine, and Amu looked down.
"But Amu… why didn't you tell me?" Utau stared at her friend. Was she untrustworthy? Why did she not want to tell her about something this important? Her best friend's life was limited, and she didn't even tell her about it. No matter how she thought about it, it just didn't make sense to her. Did Amu mean to keep it a secret from her? "What if… I didn't find the paper? Would you have told me about it?"
"Of course I would!" Amu looked away. "Just not… yet. Not now."
"But why not? Why wouldn't you tell me about something so important? Something as important as your life."
Amu took a deep breath and looked up at her best friend. "That's why I didn't really want to tell you," she said quietly. She looked up at Utau. "I didn't want you to worry… I-I didn't even tell Papa or Ami yet. I just… don't know how to." Her lower lip trembled. "I-I want to be strong for them. I don't want to tell them because I know I will break down. And Ami… she's only five. She knows Mama died from cancer…" A tear slipped down her cheek.
Utau wrapped her arms around Amu. "Shh, it's okay…" She swallowed the lump in her throat. She felt a bit guilty for pressuring her friend now. She had just wanted to protect her from the horrible truth for a while, that's all. She didn't know how to open her mouth about it, and Utau had still pressured her. "I'll be there for you, okay?" Her own tears fell as she sniffled. She had never thought about death before, never mind the death of her best friend.
"I-I know. Thank you."
Utau sniffled and grabbed her friend into a huge hug. It was the least she could do, be there for her best friend in times of need.
"Oh god, he died!" Amu wailed. She sniffled. "U-Utau, pass me the tissues?"
"H-here." Utau grabbed a couple of tissues before passing the box over to Amu. She dabbed at her eyes and blew her nose. "And everyone's waiting for him to come out alive!" Tears streaked down her cheeks and she blew her nose again.
Amu and Utau were currently in Utau's living room watching The Bucket List. They were up to the part where Carter dies. So far, they had used up three boxes of tissues and had finished lots of snacks. Empty snack bags were scattered around them.
Utau sniffled and stood up. "You want some popcorn?"
Amu nodded. "Yeah." Utau left the room to make the popcorn and Amu cried at every scene, whether or not it was sad. To her, every scene seemed sad. Both her and Utau had cried over the whole movie already. Amu grabbed more tissues and saw that the box was now empty. There went the fourth box. She found another box and tore it open.
"Here's the popcorn." Utau returned and put the bowl on the floor in between them. They ate and watched, crying at everything.
By the end of the movie, there were at least seven empty tissue boxes and snacks were now extinct in Utau's house. The two girls were still crying as the movie ended.
"That was -hic- so -hic- sad -hic-" Amu rubbed at her eyes. They were puffy and red now.
"Yeah," Utau agreed, blowing her nose one last time. "God, what a mess." The floor was covered with litter. "You want to help me clean up now or do it later?" She rubbed her puffy red eyes and sighed.
"Later," Amu sniffled. "I think we need some sleep."
Utau nodded in agreement. She laid down on the floor and closed her eyes. "Hey Amu?"
"Yeah?"
"... I'll miss you."
Amu smiled, but tears still spilled from her eyes. She was glad the lights were off or else she would make Utau cry again too. "Yeah..."
