TITLE: Through the Dark
DISCLAIMER: I DON'T own Big Time Rush. The only characters I own in this chapter are the ones who are not James and Kendall.
NOTES: Okay, I have not updated for six months, and I have been feeling guilty for putting the ones who read the previous chaps on hold. I'm so sorry, but life just threw me a curve ball and I've been in a dark place these past few months . Anyway, I'm back and ready continue on with this crazy story. I promise the next update won't take very long.
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CHAPTER 3: White Journal
"If you could read my mind,
Then all your doubts would be left behind,
And every little thing
Would be falling into place."
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When James woke up, he found himself lying on an old-fashioned, wooden bed. He is now inside a tiny confinement room, lit with a dim blue light coming from outside a barred window.
Still feeling nauseous from the "catalyst" he was forced to take, he slowly managed to sit up, trying not to throw up for the millionth time. After staggering to get to the iron door, he discovered that it can only be opened from the outside, so there's no way he could possibly escape. Even if he did manage to get out of the cell, where else would he go? This otherworldly forest seem to be miles away from civilization and he'd rather take his chances wherever he is right now than get devoured by something in the wild.
After a few minutes of thinking about his situation, he just remembered the cellphone in his pocket. With a glint of hope, he flipped it open, hoping to call 911 to report his whereabouts, but he doesn't even have one bar, so he ended up quitting after numerous attempts of contacting.
"Fuck you, Verizon", he cursed under his breath.
Desperate for clues, James used the LCD of his phone as a flashlight to search the shadowy parts of the room. In the corner, he found a musty, old white notebook with the name "David" written on the spine. With nothing else to do, he started flipping through the pages.
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July 16, 1891
"It's been a couple of months since I have been locked in this cabin. Out of everyone in the village, I was the chosen one to be the Vessel. We all drank the catalyst and the white flame chose me. The Pillars said that I have a spiritual power strong enough to perform The Burning Ritual. I have yet to learn the full details because only the Pillars and the Vessel are allowed. The only thing I know so far is that I have to be detached from people for one year before I am ready to be taken to a forest somewhere to perform the ritual. The three Pillars would inform me very soon about my duty and what is expected of me. I wish the ritual would be a success so I can go back home. If I fail, they said I would die, and a huge disaster would occur in the future.
I deeply miss my parents and my friends... but not Francis. Francis, my best friend since childhood, sneaks at the back of the temple every other night. I know he's not permitted to, but talking to him in whispers between the bars of my window is the only thing that keeps my sanity in this lonely prison. He is the kindest person I know and I am glad to have him as a friend.
Today is my Birthday and Francis gave me this journal as a present. He said it might keep my loneliness at bay for the days when he could not visit me, and that whenever I feel hopeless and lost, I should turn to the very last page of the journal to help me get through the dark."
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James stopped reading right away and turned to the very last page. Written on it is a poem:
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"Day after day
Time pass away
And I just can´t get you off my mind.
Nobody knows I hide it inside
I keep on searching but I can´t find
The courage to show
To letting you know
I´ve never felt so much love before.
Once again I´m thinking about
Taking the easy way out.
But if I let you go
I will never know
What my life would be
Holding you close to me.
Will I ever see
You smiling back at me.
How will I know
If I let you go?
Night after night
I hear myself say
'Why can´t this feeling just fade away?'
There´s no one like you,
You speak to my heart.
It´s such a shame that we´re worlds apart.
I´m too shy to ask,
I´m too proud to lose.
But sooner or later I gotta choose.
And once again I´m thinking about
Taking the easy way out.
But if I let you go
I will never know
What my life would be
Holding you close to me.
Will I ever see
You smiling back at me.
How will I know
If I let you go?
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"Wow, that was very sweet", James thought as he continued reading where he left off.
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...I read the poem after Francis went home. I now know why he was acting so peculiar today.
His poem made me blush. That was the best present anyone has ever given me. But... why now?
The reason why I was locked up in here for a long time is to clear my mind of any distractions and attachments. I have to be willing to perform the ritual without any concerns if I survive or not.
Now, all I think about is Francis, and the life we could have had if he had just revealed his feelings for me before I was chosen. I, too, should have told him how I feel a long time ago.
The chosen Vessel should not be having these thoughts and feelings. I should never have let him visit me here. If I fail the ritual, not only would I die, but all the people I love, including Francis, would be affected, too.
I don't know what to do.
I just... want to be with him.
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Reading the first journal entry has shed some light in James' head about what's going on. David's ritual somehow failed, and he is now the new Vessel. He wanted to read further into the journal but he's got a massive headache from reading under the dim light.
He went back to the bed and decided to just sleep off this headache. That night, he dreamed about Kendall and the first time he said "I love you".
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~ Sorry for any writing errors.
~ Thanks for reading! The next chapter would be out soon (I promise ^_^).
~ Please review!
