First Love Lost
Chapter 3 - Puppet Master

I arrived back home and was relieved to find the house empty. If Charlie and Emmett kept to their usual patterns, I wouldn't see either of them for the rest of the day. When I first moved here, I was hurt that they took so little interest in me. After a couple of weeks, the uncomfortable silences had become old hat, and I could ignore them for the most part.

After depositing my books upstairs in my room, I moved to the living room to watch television. Not much was on, and I spent several minutes flipping through channels. I finally settled on a home decorating show when I heard a knock at the front door.

I answered the door to find James from study hall waiting anxiously on the front step. Not wanting to invite him in my house, I stepped outside to see what he wanted. He looked nervous and was sweating bullets.

"Bella, I just wanted to apologize for the way I acted earlier. I know I made you uncomfortable, and I am sorry. I wanted to be friendly and tried too hard. When Jasper came in, the animosity between him and I made the situation worse. I must have come across as some strange stalker type," he rushed out in one big jumble of words.

Before James could continue his little speech, I stopped him. "Don't worry about it. After the day I had, I might just take any friend I can get. Stalkers and all."

He closed his eyes and ducked his head. I was a little worried that I offended him but that worry vanished in the next second when he started chuckling. When he looked back up at me, I realized for the first time that he was actually quite handsome. A combination of black hair, light gray eyes, and pale skin gave him an otherworldly appearance. Stalking was definitely not in his repertoire. If anything, he would be the object of someone else's obsession.

"Tell ya what. You and I are going to start over." I offered with a big smile while sticking out my hand. "I'm Bella Swan."

"James Witherdale," he said with a smile. He grabbed my hand and shook it. This time he released it after an appropriate amount of time. It was good to see he had learned from earlier.

"Would you like to stay and talk for a bit?" I asked while indicating we could sit on the front step.

"Sure," James agreed before sitting down with me.

There was an awkward silence between us that stretched over several minutes. For some reason, neither one of us could find anything to say.

"This is stupid," I said. "How about we each get two questions, and whatever you ask you also have to answer?"

I started us off with an easy one, "What's your favorite quote?"

"'Who controls the past controls the future. Who controls the present controls the past,'" he answered without hesitation.

The quote was familiar, but I couldn't place its origins. Rather than admit my ignorance I decided to look it up later. Something about his answer brought back my earlier concerns about James. It was like I was missing something that was staring me in the face. I just couldn't quite figure out what it was. Or, it could be that I was just looking for a reason to not make friends after the day of glares and whispers I had experienced.

James interrupted my thoughts by reminding me that I hadn't given my quote. I didn't really have a favorite quote, but I knew a few memorable ones that were at least interesting. I opted to go with one that I always found entertaining.

"'By the pricking of my thumbs, something wicked this way comes,'" I offered.

"I love that I throw George Orwell at you, and you counter with Shakespeare. You, Bella Swan, are a delightful creature," he said with a wide grin and a twinkle in his eyes.

"Creature. You just called me a creature. Why does that make me think of little green goblins and crazy imps?" I said with a frown.

James laughed at my frown. "If we are going to go with creatures, how about comparing yourself to a siren?"

"Oh, so now I lure sailors to their deaths. I really am special," I said with a laugh.

"Alright, it's my turn to ask a question. The world is in black and white. You have the opportunity to add three colors. Which do you choose and why? And no generic answer like blue. I need specifics."

I took a minute to think of some good colors. I closed my eyes and thought about the way color made me feel. My answers would probably sound random, but the question was random so it didn't matter. Finally, I decided on my three.

"Russet Brown because it makes me feel warm just by looking at it. Corn Yellow because it always makes me smile. And Cobalt Blue because it relaxes me."

He seemed to like my answers and immediately followed with his own. "Burnt Orange, Fire Red, and Indigo. They are the colors from the most beautiful sunset that I have ever seen. Something about that day was magical," he answered wistfully.

His answer left me curious, but it seemed like a very private memory for him. I decided to pencil in my questions about it for a later date.

"What is something about you that is in contrast to your nature?" I asked wondering if the question made any sense to him.

"Oh, that's easy. I like to think I'm a calm natured intellectual, but I'm also one of the best outside linebackers in the state." James answered with the utmost confidence.

I smile at his answer. It was obvious that he wanted me to think of him as both smart and athletic. I had no idea what a linebacker was, but it sure sounded good. Maybe if I were fluent in Sports Illustrated, it would actually mean something.

Rather than focus on his answer, James moved the topic along and asked for my answer. "What about you, Bella?"

"I like to think of myself as a caretaker, but I can't keep my own self out of trouble," I admitted before pushing him to ask the final question. "Your turn."

"What's your favorite animal and why?" James asked.

I was relieved to hear the easy question and answered quickly. "I'm going to cheat a little and go with a bird. I like owls. My mother used to tell me that they were the keepers of our secrets. They could see into our souls and reflect what they saw back to us in their eyes. Every time I see one, I wonder what they see in me."

James liked my answer. "Owls. I wasn't expecting that. Mine is kind of lame. My grandmother had a pet raccoon named Liar. I always liked the little guy."

Liar. What an odd name. I smiled at the cuteness of it.

"So, how was your first day?" James asked changing the subject.

Before I could answer, we were interrupted by the slamming of car doors. Emmett had arrived with Rosalie, and the rest of his gang was getting out of a silver Volvo that pulled up behind him. I heard James mumble a couple of expletives under his breath. We both stood up and watched as everyone approached.

"James, maybe you should head home," I suggested. The study hall encounter was fresh in my mind, and I really didn't want a repeat of it, especially with Jasper backed up by my brother and Edward. Judging from the looks on all three of their faces, James was equally despised by each of them.

Before James could respond, Emmett yelled, "What the hell are you doing talking to my sister? And, why the hell are you at my house? I told you not to come back here."

"I just came over to talk to sweet, little Bella. I figured she was worth the risk of running into your ugly face," James growled.

"You don't get to talk to my sister," Emmett stated coldly.

I was not going to let him dictate who could talk to me. Why he would even care, I could not imagine. If Emmett didn't talk to me, he sure wasn't going to make rules about who could. I grabbed James' hand and pulled him in the direction of my car. Leaving was utmost in my mind, and having him accompany me would make everyone mad. In short, it was a brilliant plan.

"Where do you think you're going, Bella?" my brother yelled as I pushed past him.

James quickly figured out my intentions and started leading me in the direction of my car. He seemed more than willing to escape alongside me. We almost made it when my free arm was grabbed from behind. I turned back and realized with shock that it was Jasper who had a hold of me.

"You're not leaving with him, Bella. You don't know him," Jasper stated firmly. "I know you're mad, but just trust me. You want no part of this guy."

Emmett telling me what to do was bad enough, but this guy I didn't even know was now joining in the fun. His words only made me more determined. James must have felt my increasing anger, because he squeezed my hand in support. I returned the gentle pressure, and he tried to pull me closer to him. It didn't work. Jasper had a tight hold on my arm, and I wasn't moving.

I looked up at him and glared. "Don't pretend you people care about what I do or don't do. From everything I've heard, it's all of you that I should be worried about," I hissed.

"I meant what I said. You're not leaving with him," Jasper said harshly.

"Why don't you let her decide for herself, Whitlock." James suggested with a sneer.

I was suddenly tired of the whole thing. Jasper and Emmett were idiots, and James wasn't exactly helping matters with his attitude. Looking around, I realized that I had gotten myself stuck in some kind of sick tug of war between two guys that I barely knew. I was holding onto James with my left hand, and Jasper still had a hold of my right arm.

"You're right. I am not leaving with James. I'm going off on my own. You guys enjoy your little party," I yelled at them both.

I released James' hand and tried to shake off Jasper's hold on me. He responded by pulling me into his chest roughly causing me to gasp. I felt an electric shock run through my body, and my breath caught as our eyes locked.

Jasper tightened his hold on me, and my heart began to race. I watched as his gaze drifted down to my lips. I hated that he was getting a reaction out of me, but I couldn't help it. It had been too long since I had been held by someone, and I needed this contact desperately. Like a predator he could sense my weakness.

Jasper smiled wickedly and slowly trailed a finger along my jaw line causing me to shudder in response. He stopped at my chin and began softly brushing my lower lip with his thumb. I released an involuntary moan that made his eyes flash with need. He knew full well the reaction he was having on me, and it seemed I was having an affect on him as well. I took a ragged breath to try to calm myself.

"It's time for you to leave. Bella and I have things we need to go do," he said with meaning.

I blushed at the thought of what his words implied. From the corner of my eye, I watched as James stomped off with his shoulders slumped in defeat. Between Jasper's words and my obvious reaction to being held by him, we had managed to send out a clear message. Anger welled up inside of me, and I narrowed my eyes at him. All of my feelings from a moment ago left in an instant. This jerk had some nerve.

Before I could tell him just what I thought of him, my brother stepped forward. "You can stop pretending you want to jump my sister. The guy is gone."

Emmett's words brought me back to reality. I glanced around and saw that Edward and Rosalie were watching us with amusement. They had clearly enjoyed the show. Alice on the other hand looked like she was as angry as me. For some reason, her reaction left me worried.

I looked back at Jasper who was watching me with a confusing mix of desire and fear. I pushed away from him and stormed into the house. I didn't trust myself to drive, which left going to my room as my only means of escape.

After slamming my bedroom door closed, I look around for something to throw. My eyes settled on a baseball bat that I kept near my bed in case of intruders. I grabbed it up and gave my bed several good hard whacks. It may have looked stupid, but I knew from experience that it would relieve my anger. Plus, it had the added bonus of not destroying anything.

When I was done with my little temper tantrum, I threw myself on the bed and screamed into my pillow. It was official. This day sucked. Emmett was still ignoring me. Everyone in school looked at me like used toilet paper. My brother's friends hated me, and the only person who had been friendly to me had left my house thinking that I was interested in Jasper Whitlock, which I was. Things couldn't possibly get any worse.

I was wrong. My door squeaked open and in walked Alice, who perched her petite body on my bed like she owned the place.

"What do you want?" I groaned.

"To talk to you, silly," she answered with her trilling voice.

Her chipperness was so annoying that it could make a saint kill puppies.

"Go away, Alice."

"Nope. I think I will just stay for a bit. Bonding with Bella is the new extreme sport in this town," she joked.

I turned my head and looked at her. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"Like you don't know," Alice said with a wink.

"Really. I don't."

"Lauren Mallory wants to eat you for lunch. Rosalie is ready to murder you in your sleep. Edward is willing to offer her an alibi. Jasper wants to rip James apart for talking to you, and Emmett wants to beat Jasper unconscious for possibly having impure thoughts about his sister. So you see, Bonding with Bella is like jumping out of a plane without a parachute."

I frowned at her before turning my face back into my pillow.

"Look. You had a bad day. Just get over it, and come downstairs," she pleaded.

"No," I grumbled into my pillow.

"Why not?"

I turned over onto my back and glanced at the girl on my bed. Alice was without a doubt either the most clueless person on the planet or the craziest.

"Is it the thing with Rosalie?" Alice asked.

"No," I grumbled.

"Edward?"

"Not hardly."

"Emmett?"

"No," I shouted in frustration.

Her smiling face fell into a frown. "Jasper?"

"Maybe," I admitted reluctantly.

"Oh, Bella that's not good," Alice said with all seriousness. "Jasper is someone you need to stay far away from if at all possible. You are completely off limits for him and that makes you all the more tempting. And from what I saw a minute ago, he is already very tempted. I just hope that Emmett keeps putting it off as some kind of act to make James mad."

I couldn't doubt the sincerity in her eyes. Alice was trying to help me by warning me away from the bad influence that was her friend.

"Bella, outside of his friends, the only thing in this world Jasper cares about is finding new ways to amuse himself. He is easily bored and has extremely poor impulse control. If he decides you're his new favorite toy, I don't think he will be able to deny himself. And don't think for a minute you will have a choice in the matter. Jasper will charm you until you give in. You won't even know it until it's too late. He will then use you for a while before suddenly losing interest and moving onto someone new. Once he is done with you, he is done. It will be as if he never even knew you," she explained in a sad voice.

"If he's so bad, why are you even friends with him?" I asked.

Alice took a deep breath and let it out slowly. She then laid down next to me on the bed. I watched as she closed her eyes and appeared to think about my question. It suddenly hit me. She loved Jasper. Maybe not today, but sometime in past she had loved him. I was suddenly sad for her. I could only guess at their story and hoped it didn't include a version of what she had just described.

"Jasper is complicated," she began. "He is the best friend a person can ask for. When he cares about someone, he will do anything for them. He is loyal and generous to a fault. Unfortunately, he only cares about a very few people. If you are not one of those lucky few, your feelings don't matter to him. He won't go out of his way to hurt a person's feelings, but he is completely unaffected by it if he does."

"Why is he like this?" I wondered.

"Part of it is the way things come so easily to him. Jasper has never had to work hard for anything, and when you don't have to work hard for something, you don't appreciate it. People flock to him because he is so naturally charismatic. He is a born leader who can take charge in any situation. For example, our group is made up of people with very strong personalities, but we all defer to him. Earlier when James was here, Emmett may have voiced the first objections about you leaving, but it was Jasper who kept you here. It was a situation that Emmett should have handled, but he let Jasper do it."

"You make him sound like some kind of puppet master," I commented.

Alice laughed at the comparison. "He is in a way I guess. We all pretty much dance to his tune while he pulls the strings. The trick is that he lets us think we are in charge of ourselves when we're really not. All of this must sound pretty crazy to you," she said in a return to her earlier cheerfulness.

I sat up on the bed and looked down at her. "I still don't understand why you are friends with him. The good points seem to be far outweighed by the bad."

"I guess it's because he is so good to all of us. No matter what goes wrong in our lives, he finds a way to fix it. Jasper is the glue that holds our little family together. It may not sound like it, but he needs us as much, or more, than we need him. As pieces of his little puzzle, we are fine on our own but become much stronger when we are united. On his own, Jasper is just glue. He needs us to survive," Alice explained with an almost religious fervor.

She then looked at me with speculation in her eyes. I was left wondering if maybe she thought I hadn't gotten her message about Jasper. I did. He was not a good guy, and I should stay away at all cost. It was pretty easy to understand. I smiled at her and tried to convey that I had gotten the point of her little talk.

My smile brought about a reaction I wasn't expecting. Alice sat up quickly. Her face suddenly switched to a look of hard determination. Her posture even changed. She held herself more stiffly, and her eyes were focused intently on mine. Throughout our whole conversation about Jasper, she maintained a cheerful though slightly guarded demeanor. She now looked fierce. The change left me feeling like a tornado had swept through and dropped a different girl in my room.

Alice's voice took on a hard tone. "Emmett may not act like it, but he loves you very much. He is intensely protective of you. Whenever he mentions you, his voice always betrays his emotions. Your brother would do anything for you. If push comes to shove, Emmett would choose you over anything and everything in this world. Even Rosalie doesn't stand a chance. Why do you think she hates you so much? You need to be very careful about the choices you make, Bella."

"Why are you telling me all this?" I asked with curiosity. Her change in topic left me confused, and her change in attitude left me slightly scared. I couldn't understand her motives.

Alice looked at me with a Machiavellian grin. "Because like it or not, you are going to be one of us. Unless, you make the mistake of falling for Jasper. If that happens, you will destroy my little family, and I can't allow that to happen," she said with cold deliberation.

Her words were filled with a deadly promise that sent a nervous tremor through my system. I had no doubt that Alice would do whatever it took to protect her family. For most of the day, she had played the good guy, but the last few minutes showed that she could play the bad guy with equal skill. It made me wonder, which was the real her.

Earlier, Rosalie had come at me like a blunt weapon. She sent her message clearly and without guile. Alice, on the other hand, used her sunny disposition and openness to manipulate me into laying down my defenses. It made her not so subtly disguised threat all the more powerful. This petite girl had managed to succeed where Rosalie and countless other people in my life had failed. Alice frightened me.