So I've decided to elongate this story a little bit more. I want to go through almost every step in Ichigo's search for his muse - I can totally relate to him after all... Which only means that the smut will come a little later, yes? :)
Meanwhile, enjoy this shorty short chapter! Oh and thank you for the nice reviews!
Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach or any of the characters.
XXXX
Friday night.
"So... Ya've been well?"
Ichigo looked up from his XXL burger to his red haired best friend, Renji Abarai, who was sitting on the other side of the table. Taking his specialist's advice - Grimmjow... Insert dramatic, love-sick sigh - the oranget had started going out a more and more every day, mostly on his own though. Since Wednesday, he had taken four long walks, visited his favorite bar once and drank a little, but each time he returned to his house, he had to force himself to draw on that sketchbook he bought for that reason and only. He couldn't find anything worth to draw, no matter how hard he tried. He started to feel a little hopeless and depressed, but whenever he thought about his appointment on Saturday, his heart would skirt in his chest and he would immediately get to work.
Tonight, it was Renji's night. Hesitantly, Ichigo had called the redhead and invited him for a burger. Renji had been a little silent at first and Ichigo guessed the man was just shocked to hear from him, however the redhead agreed to meet him quite enthusiastically.
"Yeah," Ichigo muttered after he swallowed, "You?"
Renji shrugged and took a bite off his burger. "Good too, I guess."
"Hn," Ichigo grunted.
Shit, Ichigo mentally cursed. This had never happened with Renji before. He and the redhead had been inseparable when kids and they maintained a stable and close relationship as adults. Maybe the past year Ichigo had stayed inside his house had managed to bring them apart.
What would Grimmjow say in this kind of situation?
"Rukia said you finished yer story," Renji spoke up again, attracting Ichigo's attention.
The oranget blinked a few times, letting Renji's words sink in before he nodded. "Ah, yes. Fuckin' finally, if you ask me."
The redhead cracked a teasing grin. "You really hate it doncha." It wasn't really a question; still, Ichigo nodded and wrinkled his nose in disgust.
"You've got no idea, Ren," said the oranget, "I am so fucking glad it is outta my life."
Renji chuckled and took a sip from his beverage. "Take some time off, then. Go out, drink some and then some more, find a cute little guy or a handsome stud and fuck like there ain't tomorrow. It's the best thing to do during vacation."
Ichigo flashed a huge grin, willing himself not to bust out laughing in such public area. Renji always gave the best advice, even though he was a big idiot sometimes. Heh how about, most of the times?
Ichigo had missed that. He had missed his best friend so much and now that they were talking he came to realize it.
"I agree witcha. I'll figure somethin' out," Ichigo said, his heart already warming up once the ice between him and his best friend started to break. With a sly smirk, he sipped from his drink, staring at Renji with a promising look. The redhead apparently took the hint and raised one eyebrow.
"What?", the redhead asked suspiciously.
"What about you, mister?", Ichigo asked, "How's Shuuhei?"
It gave Ichigo some kind of sadistic pleasure whenever he watched his best friend blush slightly and avert his gaze. "We're good," mumbled the redhead, scratching the back of his head nervously.
Aww, how cute. Renji was so dorkily girly when it came to his boyfriend, Shuuhei Hisagi. They were together for how long now? Four years? It all started back then, when the redhead had accidentally bumped onto the black haired medical student in the campus of his university. It was love at first sight for Renji, not so much for Shuuhei though. The man with the 69 tattoo on his face - Ichigo still teased him about it - made everything possible to get away from Renji.
Karma was a bitch, wasn't it Shuuhei?
After a series of heartbreaks and Renji's never ending support, the cold hearted student fell for the redhead hard like a stone on a brick wall.
They were still together after all.
"Say Ich," Renji muttered quietly, looking down at his French fries nervously, "What do you think about marriage?"
Ichigo quirked one eyebrow at the sudden question. It was certainly shocking for Renji of all people to be asking about marriage, taking into consideration how promiscuous he had been in the past. The oranget entertained the thought into his mind before the utter realization hit him and had his eyes widen like dinner plates. Was Renji...?
Ichigo gasped in shock. "Wait, are you planning to propose- mmmhhhm!"
Renji's hand had shot up to Ichigo's mouth, halting whatever Ichigo was about to say, reducing it into an unintelligible muffled sound. The redhead's russet eyes glanced around the room restlessly, then fell back on Ichigo and his full lips pulled into a snarl.
"Shut yer goddamned trap!", he hissed urgently. Ichigo nodded as Renji's hand unclasped from his mouth.
"Sorry, I was surprised," the oranget mumbled apologetically. Well, that had come out of nowhere. How did Renji expect him not to be shocked?
Renji sighed. "It's okay, just... Just don't tell anyone."
Ichigo licked his lips and supported his weight on his forearms, leaning closer to the redhead. "So you're planing to...?"
It made Ichigo chuckle when Renji blushed so much until he got the same color as his long, red hair. Renji was so cute sometimes.
"I-I was just...", he stuttered, his tattooed eyebrows pulled together in a scowl, "I was thinking about it lately. B-But I am not sure Shuuhei will..."
"He will be thrilled," Ichigo said, soothingly placing his hand over his best friend's, "I am sure."
Renji's smile was slow but it ended up huge, contagious enough to trigger Ichigo's own.
"Thanks Ich, you're a true friend," he said, patting Ichigo on the shoulder.
The gesture was small, insignificant to most people but it was the satisfying enough for Ichigo. He and Renji were never overly emotional with each other however, a pat on the shoulder or a small smile, those subtle actions of affection were enough to let each other know how grateful the other was. Their friendship was as easy as breathing; Ichigo realized it growing up how at ease he felt around his friend. Even after a year, nearly nothing had changed between them after all. No weird silences, no girly "why didn't you call", no nothing.
Ichigo was still Ichigo and Renji was still an idiot. The idiot he couldn't live without.
Just don't tell Renji he said that, okay?
XXXX
Session number two.
He shifted nervously on the black leather seat, feeling as if his whole being, his soul was being exposed naked before the blue haired doctor's eyes.
Saturday afternoon and Ichigo was on his second appointment with the shrink. He still didn't like it that he had to go to a psychologist of all doctors however, Grimmjow just being... Grimmjow made him forget all about his worries.
What made him even more nervous however was that the doctor, just how they had agreed on their first meeting, was looking at his sketchbook, checking out all of his creations the last three days. It was unnerving at the very least and what drove Ichigo insane was the doctor's face; Grimmjow was fucking unreadable. No emotions were displayed on his features, except from occasional frowns and pursing of lips.
Finally! Grimmjow had just turned to the final page and to Ichigo's utter surprise, twin blue eyebrows shot up to an equally blue hairline.
"Wha-What is it? Did I do something wrong?", Ichigo asked in panic. The doctor's sudden reaction was freaking him out damn it!
Grimmjow didn't even look up from the page, but thankfully shook his head negatively. "No," he muttered with his sexy voice, "On the contrary actually; this is the most amazing picture I've ever seen."
To say that he didn't blush, it would be a lie. To say that his heart didn't flutter enthusiastically in his chest, it would be a lie. To say that he didn't avert his gaze shyly like a teenage girl, yeah you know it, it would also be a lie. Ichigo did this all and then some as soon as the doctor's statement sunk into his brain.
"Th-Thanks, I guess," he stuttered lamely, his foot nervously jumping up and down in his attempt to vent his frustration.
Finally, Grimmjow looked up from the picture and his blue eyes bored into Ichigo's. "Are these people your friends?", he asked.
Ichigo simply nodded, the sudden contact with those mesmerizing blue eyes frying his brain into a useless crisp. Again.
Grimmjow took a few notes on his notepad then turned his attention back on Ichigo. "So, would you like to tell me something more about those friends of yours?"
Ichigo blinked a few times before he took a deep breath. "Uh, the one with the long hair is Renji and the other is his, uh, lover Shuuhei," the oranget began, noticing the doctor putting down the sketchbook and give him his whole attention.
Waaaaaaah!
"So, er, Renji is my best friend since I was a kid and Shuuhei... Well Shuuhei is also, like, a friend but I got to meet him through Renji. They got together four years ago and uh..." Ichigo pursed his lips into a thin line. Should he tell the doctor about Renji's plans of proposing to Shuuhei or he should keep it to himself?
"Our conversation is strictly confidential Ichigo," said the man with a encouraging smile, "Whatever you mention here stays between you and me."
Seriously, Grimmjow's mind reading abilities were staring to give Ichigo a headache. Nodding with his head, the orange haired man continued.
"So, yesterday I went out with Renji... And he told me that he plans on proposing. To Shuuhei that is. It made me really happy, after the initial shock was gone."
Grimmjow nodded and wrote something down once more, before looking back at Ichigo. "Is Renji very close to you?"
"He is like a brother to me, Grimmjow. I've known him all my life."
The blue haired man nodded once more and then smiled. "It explains why this picture is so intense then."
Ichigo's frowned in confusion. "What do you mean?" Ichigo had never expected his drawing to have such an impact on the blunet. He had simply drawn Renji and Shuuhei holding hands and smiling at each other like idiots, much like they usually did.
"I mean, look at them," Grimmjow turned the block in Ichigo's direction, pointing at where their hands were held together, "This is outstanding; the way you've portrayed it, in such detail and such liveness, the smiles on their faces..." The blunet shook his head and chuckled. "I feel as if I am actually watching them holding hands and witnessing their love, even if I haven't met them once. On the contrary, your other pictures," Grimmjow turned the previous page and pointed at the half-smoked cigarette and the nearly finished glass of whiskey Ichigo had drawn, "This is so depressing and vague, so plain and roughly made. I'm not critiquing your art, I want to emphasize that, I am just reading your emotions through your pictures. It is obvious that a few days ago you were depressed but your encounter with your friend has lightened up you mood. Some sort of inspiration has found its way to you."
Ichigo was lost, not to mentioned shocked at what Grimmjow had just came up with. Seriously? Was it so easy to read emotions through plain drawings? Well, it was somehow true that when he drew the previous days he was doing it because he had to, not because he wanted to but he'd never expect that he'd have a flash of inspiration to create something - how did Grimmjow say it? Oh... - amazing.
The excited knot in his stomach twirled. "So," Ichigo croaked, then cleared his throat, "Does this mean that my muse is back?"
Grimmjow chuckled. "No, that is not it." Ichigo immediately sighed in defeat and hung his head. The doctor laughed again.
"However, it means that it is getting better," Grimmjow added. "All you need is to keep trying, find some other stimuli like Renji and Shuuhei which bring out your creative side and not your angry side."
"How do I do that?", Ichigo asked, huffing angrily.
"It is simple," Grimmjow assured him, "Continue going out, with friends or by yourself, interact with people, observe them and then draw what they inspire you."
"And if they don't inspire me?"
"You have to find the inspiration, Ichigo," Grimmjow said with a small smile, "It won't come to you if you don't seek it."
Ichigo wasn't exactly sure he understood what the blue haired God - erh doctor - had in mind but something told him that Grimmjow knew what he was doing. Shaking his head uncertainly, Ichigo flashed one of his sexy smiles to the doctor and then nodded excitedly.
"I shall impress you then."
Grimmjow cocked his head into the side and gave him a fond, breathtaking smile. "I am looking forward to it."
XXXX
I am looking forward to it too. *evil - knowing - laughter*
Queen.
