It was 12:30 PM and Rodney was just on his way to the mess hall. No matter how important and often life changing the devices he worked on were, he was never ever late for lunch. A man's gotta do what a man's gotta do, right?

As he was passing the gym, he could hear Teyla working out by herself, which didn't come as a surprise. Rodney knew that exercise was very important to the Athosian. Not that he understood it, how could anybody like doing that to their body? On the rare occasion that he was in the gym (usually because Sheppard forced him to 'stay in shape'), he always felt miserable for the next few days and unable to move..

But it seemed to help Teyla deal with problems. To her, it was kind of like food to him. Whenever he was stressed, scared or nervous, food seemed to help him get a grip on things.

Thinking about his own gym experiences reminded him of Sheppard. He had thought about stopping by the infirmary this morning, but he wasn't particularly anxious to face Beckett again. Of course he was sorry that he had caused Sheppard's cold, but could the man have been any more obnoxious? He hadn't done it on purpose!

oOo

The mess hall was not very crowded, even at lunch time. Rodney picked Chicken with Curry and Rice, grabbed a cup of coffee and sat down on one of the empty tables in the back. He wasn't in the mood for company right now.

When he was about half way through his meal, Elizabeth came strolling in. Rodney couldn't help but notice the exhaustion in her features as she walked over to his table.

"Mind if I join you?" She asked politely.

"Not at all. But aren't you getting any food?" Rodney was somewhat puzzled. Why would she be in the mess hall at all if she didn't want to eat? It wasn't like it was a fun place to hang out or anything.

"No, I already had lunch… Uh, I talked to Beckett this morning." Rodney stared at his plate indifferently. So, that's what this was all about.

"So, how is Sheppard?"he asked nonchalantly.

"Not very good." she replied. That made Rodney look up from his plate to face Elizabeth. What did she mean? His condition wasn't that serious, was it? He was probably just coughing a bit and Beckett had made a big deal out of it in front of her, as usual.

In spite of Rodney's lack of response, Elizabeth continued: "It looks like his lungs developed an infection and Carson thinks it could be very dangerous in his weakened condition. I don't want to fear the worst, Rodney, but he did not look good this morning…. Have you been down to see him?" she asked, already knowing the answer. That was why she had come to talk to him in the first place. And judging by his expression, Rodney hadn't even known about John's condition up to now.

"Uh.. not yet, I was gonna go after lunch…. So, this is really bad?" She had Rodney's attention now. He looked worried, and was right to do so.

'What have I done?' he asked himself. 'What am I, stupid? This is all my fault. '

Elizabeth immediately noticed Rodney's face fall. He kept staring at his half eaten plate of chicken: "Listen, Rodney, this is not your fault. You didn't know it was that serious and you didn't intent to harm anyone."

But McKay's guilty conscience suddenly hit him with full force. He hadn't even been down there to see him, yet. "Excuse me, Elizabeth." He said, shoved his tray to the side and got up, heading for the door. Elizabeth let him go without asking further questions. She knew exactly where he was headed and decided to wait with her own visit until Rodney had had some time alone with the Doctor and the Colonel.

Ooo

McKay hesitated when he reached the infirmary entrance. He wasn't sure how Beckett would react, the Scot had been so mad at him, and as it turned out: for good reason.

He heard rushed noises from inside. 'Maybe this isn't the right time' he thought and turned his back to leave. But Rodney stopped himself. He had to do this now, there was no way around.

When he opened the door to the infirmary, Rodney heard Beckett barking orders that he couldn't quite make out. A nurse rushed in the direction of the noise, completely unaware of him standing there. 'Something must be wrong' Rodney thought and headed to the far side of the infirmary where the voices came from.

He immediately saw the cause of all the commotion around him.

The Colonel was sitting up in his bed obviously gasping for air. He looked completely frightened, fighting for every bit of oxygen.

Beckett was desperately trying to calm him down and get an oxygen mask on the Colonel, but his patient wouldn't stop struggling.

"Get me that syringe already!" he snapped at the nurse. She was filling up the syringe as fast as she could and handed it to Beckett in a matter of seconds. "Now help me hold his arm still!" She followed his orders, but it took them a few moments to get the flailing arm under control.

Rodney stood there, looking perplexed, but noticed that Sheppard's movements slowed immediately after the needle hit its target. However, his breathing didn't seem to relax very much, but Carson was finally able to put the oxygen mask on his patient. He held onto his shoulder supportively and waited for the Colonel's breathing to slow.

After a few minutes, the same Sheppard that had thrashed around in panic was lying very still on his side with his eyes half closed. His breathing was a lot slower, but it still sounded very raspy. Carson was busy listening to John's lungs with the stethoscope and didn't notice Rodney at first. But when he cleared his throat, the Doctor turned around. He too, looked very tired.

"Carson?" Rodney asked unsure of what to say.

"Have you decided to finally show up, huh?" he snapped. "Look at what you've done." He accused, pointing at Sheppard whose glassy eyes seemed to be looking into nothingness.

Rodney was going to defend himself but decided it was better to drop this for now, he was too concerned and needed to know what was going on.

"What was that, Carson?"

The Doctor's expression visibly relaxed. He realized it was not fair to blame Rodney for this mess. "It's not good news, Rodney. His lungs are filling up with fluids due to the infection.. I'll probably have to do a procedure to withdraw some of the fluid. We have to give his lungs some relief…" he shot a glance at Sheppard who still seemed to be in a different world. "But his vitals worry me, BP and pulse are too low, so I can't give him anything to put 'im to sleep and this procedure is very painful."

The thought of Sheppard having to go through a painful procedure without sedation made Rodney swallow, but the most concerning thing about all this was that Carson actually looked lost, like he didn't know what to do. And he had never seen the Doctor act like that, he always knew how to help when it came to medical conditions.

oOo

This first thing Sheppard noticed when he became aware of his surroundings was that he didn't feel like drowning anymore. It was still hard to breathe, but it felt like at least some oxygen found its way to his lungs. He rubbed at the IV needle and was surprised at how heavy his arm was. He didn't know what the Doc had put in that syringe, but it sure did its job. He was surprised though that he wasn't in a drug induced deep sleep by now. Beckett tended to do that to him on a regular basis and this time, he wouldn't even have complained given the way he felt.

Two voices nearby interrupted his thoughts. He tried to lift his head, but didn't have the strength to do so. This sucked!

"Carson?" he asked, surprised at how thin his voice sounded. He wasn't even sure the doctor had heard his call. He tried to take off the oxygen mask to speak more freely.

Carson instinctively turned around to his patient's bed when he heard a noise. He wasn't sure if Sheppard had really tried to say something or if he was imagining things. But the Colonel's eyes were open and more focused, and his hand was pulling at the oxygen mask. Carson gently took his hand away from the mask.

"That's gotta stay on for now, son." But Sheppard shook his head and looked pleadingly at Carson.

"Alright, but only for a minute." He gave in and removed the oxygen mask..

"Are you sure that this is a good idea? I think he needs any help he can get…" Rodney stated matter-of-factly and hesitantly stepped to the other side of the bed. Sheppard slowly turned his head and had to blink twice to focus on Rodney, black dots were clouding his vision.

"I'm…… still here….. Rodney." Sheppard struggled while he felt someone sticking something cold in his ear.

Carson frowned when he read the number on the thermometer: 103.6. The Colonel's temperature had gone up again. He looked at his patient and decided to tell him about the necessary procedure now that he was lucid.

"Ok listen, lad. I'm gonna have to do a procedure to withdraw some of the fluid in your lungs. It's gonna help you breathe easier…" Carson paused, not knowing how to continue. Sheppard frowned. He didn't like the word 'procedure', that never meant anything good and the fact that Beckett looked somewhat lost told him that this wasn't going to be pretty.

"It's… gonna hurt?" He asked weakly.

"Aye, I'm sorry Colonel.. I can't give you anything for the pain, your blood pressure and pulse are too low. I don't wanna risk heart failure. "

Judging by the compassionate look the Doctor gave him, Sheppard knew this was not going to be easy. And the talk of heart failure scared him. As shitty as he felt now, he didn't want to die yet. But anything was better than the suffocating feeling he had experienced earlier, anyway.

"Do it." He replied shortly, breaking out in a coughing fit.

Carson hurried to put the mask back on when the coughing fit subsided. He could tell the Colonel's breathing was getting worse again. He had to do the procedure as soon as possible.

"I'm gonna go prepare my things now, Rodney. Could you stay and help me do this?"

Rodney hesitated. He hated watching things like that, but the look Carson shot him told him that he was gonna be needed. He hoped not for what he thought, but nodded in agreement.

Sheppard was half asleep by then, his lips already turning a more darker shade of blue. The coughing fit had worn him out and it had probably hurt like hell, too. Rodney thought that he might even be unsconcious for the procedure, he sure hoped so for the Colonel's sake…


Wah! Poor Sheppard doesn't get a break, does he? He's gonna have to suffer again in the next chapter

BTW: My medical knowledge is limited to what I've learned by watching ER, so no guarantee…

And thank all of you for the reviews, they really make my day a little brighter