This chapter is going to revolve around Cecil and his feelings around the whole dispute between Kain and Golbez. Lot's of inner dialogue and Cecil trying to get his own voice across the playing board.
Warnings: Angst, mild violence, a teeny bit of self hatred, sexual references.
Song: Love Letter- Gackt
Dont forget this promise were making,
Because you're more important to me than anyone else.
"I only hope Kain can remember that. Marriage or not." Cecil drew a breath into himself and shook his head. Out of all of the troubles that still lingered in Baron, it was still surprising that a simple rejection upset the dragoon so much. There was so much more that would be an irritation to an already troubled mind from war. And it was bothering Cecil beyond all belief. Even now he was struggling to read and sign off on important documents for trade and law within the walls of Baron. As the paladin thought harder about the current squabble between his love and brother, he tried harder to keep concentration on the parchment in front of him which soon turned into a headache that lingered in his forehead area and temples. Pressing his fingers to the throbbing areas in an attempt to sooth the pain, only to fail and push the papers aside. When the door creaked open, right away a groan from his pain uttered from his lips with a plea, "All I ask is that you do not slam that door when you close it..."
A deep chuckle came from the only man who could produce such a thing and resonated within the echoing of his heavy footsteps. Golbez had shut the door behind him, and had made his way to stand by the ailing king, "If it is that much of a hindrance, you should have one of your mages tend to it, Cecil, and then get some rest. It seems to me as if this cruel test of fate called paperwork is working you."
"Oh my dear brother, thank you for your concern but I would rather not trouble my finest to something as small as a headache." A smile crossed his face before it faded again as soon as the pain returned. If just talking was going to be this much of a struggle, it was a wonder he was rejecting help from a mage. Had it been anyone else with Cecil's problem though, he would have given them the advice that was just given to him. Just another one of the little quirks that the king had. And besides, this was definitely not the worst pain he had ever experienced in his years of living. He was a Dark Knight after all, and those years of war and even minor battles had take their toll by returning in the form of night terrors which came to visit at least once a month. Not often, but often enough to even bring emotional turmoil to his lover who suffered through the same thing if not more so than the king.
There were days when we hurt each other because we were still too young.
But now they're memories we can laugh at together.
Ah, that was right. Speaking of hurt, there was one who was hurting more than he. Kain. As if denial from his brother already did not mix well in the dragoon with the fact that his love had made amends with his older sibling. Touching his index finger to his lower lip and thumb to his chin, he then fell into deep thought about whether or not he should bring up the subject of Golbez's rejection to him. But there was this tingling in his brain that was telling him that it would not be such a good idea. He loved his now fiance yes, but he loved his brother too. To upset either of them would be absolutely ail him in one way or another. Ah... Where was Rosa when he needed her? The white mage was always useful when it came to situations such as this and with picking Cecil's brain for him and deciding what words were appropriate for the situation. She would know how to bring up this very sensitive subject of marriage, and in a neutral way so it would not seem like only one side of the playing field was being looked at. With or without Rosa here though, the subject would have to be brought up. With that last thought, Cecil ignored the pounding in his head and took a wild shot in the dark.
"Brother, why did you refuse Kain your blessing?"
Golbez, said nothing and let a covered hand pat the back of his younger brother's head using cure to begin removing the headache. In response the white haired male leaned back against the hand caressing him with a light sigh. 'So pure still, Cecil. So...innocent,' The black mage thought to himself, 'You would never understand. Being all I have left, I can not simply surrender you to someone who is so easily tainted. Someone who could not quiet their mind laden with the thoughts of how badly he wished to bed a holy creature such as yourself.'
As the question went unanswered, the younger man began growing a bit impatient. He wanted this solved, and now. There was no way he could marry Kain without his elder brothers blessing, even if it broke the dragoon's heart. But he could not just go behind his brother's back and marry under the two moons. In this situation Cecil was wishing Bahamut would burn a nearby village just so he could run to the rescue and hide away from the two most powerful forces within his life. Hell, even a request for his holy presence for an old dying man for prayer sounded much more heavenly than this. Taking another dare to fate, he swallowed his pride and asked again in a bit more of a demanding tone, "I am not in a joking mood. I would like to know why you refuse to bless our wish to marry."
Now it seemed as if the elder male actually listened and was giving thought into the question asked of him. Unusual, seeing as how Golbez was usually quick to put in his two gil with a silver tipped tongue that could easily be laced with poison. Just remembering the words of the past had the White Knight shuddering a bit at his brother's touch. Fingers tapped at his shoulder as if trying to prod the words needed to explain his rather harsh behavior to the blond male. Would he even tell Cecil? If he had decided not to, the smaller male had plans anyways on how to extract the information from Golbez. If alcohol was needed, it would be u-
"I feel he is not quite worthy for someone as beautiful, wise, and strong as yourself. Even if he were the last being on this planet for you to choose, I would still force you onto an airship to search even the moons for someone better than he." A breath was taken as if it were needed to allow him a moment to calm from all of his hatred towards Kain, "I'd rather not think of the thought of you two sharing rings, let alone a bed."
"Golbez..." Those words stung. Since the moment peace was made between the brothers, Cecil had been under the impression that his beloved elder brother had approved the match he had made for himself. Countless nights the two siblings had spent with Cecil fawning over the flaxen haired love of his life. Now... He saw where Kain stood in the grey eyes of the king's older brother. No where. That was not a place the paladin felt his lover deserved to be. If anything he should have been right there next to the knight, hand in hand in his brother's mind. Sapphire hues narrowed and he stood to face the taller male with determination strewn about his face and frustration pulling on the blue lips,
"I love you both brother, but no matter what I will always choose Kain as my beloved. And I will marry him. Just tell me, how can he earn your blessing as well as your respect?"
This love I clutch close to my heart
Will never change, this one unique
I love you.
Agh! Sorry this is so late everyone... I started working and hit a MAJOR FFIV block... I'm replaying the game so I can get this fanfic done. Later this week I will also be uploading the first chapter of my Kefka x Kuja fic. Please rate and review! :)
-Kou
