The former rivals sat silently in Near's kitchen. Near was folded up in one chair, another cup of coffee cradled to his chest in his trembling hands. He wasn't scared of Mello, no that wasn't the case here. He was surprised, he was shocked, and he hadn't eaten at all today. Grey eyes lifted from the half-empty mug cupped in his hands to the boy across from him. Mello hadn't looked away from Near once. He was shirtless with a towel draped around his shoulders. His mug remained untouched, the coffee inside steaming still.
"I'll ask again: how did you-"
"Find you?" Mello interjected, cocking an eyebrow at the obviously wound up albino boy.
Near swallowed with difficulty. "Yes."
"I followed you home from the grocery store and then double-checked your address with Rodger; I went to Matt's grave and ran into him there. He's buried with A, B, L, and Watari." Mello explained somberly.
Near cocked his head to the side. "Oh? They buried Beyond there? I assumed they cremated the poor bastard."
Mello's eyes narrowed into slits. "Hilarious, Near."
Near shrugged in response and the room cascaded back into a tense silence, only the sound of the storm and the TV in the next room breathing life into this dead tension. It had been a year since the boys interacted but nothing seemed to have changed much between them. Near's hair was longer, he dressed like a normal person, and the dark circles under his eyes were a bit less prominent. To Mello, Near was all grown up and, even then, he still looked like a little kid.
"Why did you follow me home?"
The grating sound of the ceramic mug dragging across the circular, glass dining table made Near flinch, his eyes lifting once again to Mello. Once again, the blond made a note to stare - no, glare - at Near without looking at what he was doing. His intense glare over the rim of the mug made him shift awkwardly in his seat, his own eyes narrowing in return.
"I don't know."
Near paused in his ministrations of taking another sip, his eyes calculating his own expression reflecting in the black coffee. He set down the mug and blinked up to the cloudy blue eyes he didn't think he would ever grow used to seeing again. "What do you mean?"
"Exactly what I said."
"Don't be an asshole."
A smirk turned up the left side - the scarred side - of his face. "It's what I do best."
"Why did you follow me home from-"
"I. Don't. Know." Mello bit out, leaning forward in his seat. Regardless of the dining table with at least a three-foot diameter, Near found himself leaning away, as though Mello was impinging on his space. "I don't know, Near. If I did, I probably wouldn't be here now. I'd be back at Wammy's in Matt's old room trying to figure it out."
Near felt the warm ball of steel in his gut grow hot with guilt.
"Speaking of which," He murmured in such a way that Near felt his muscles spasm with the sudden urge to hit the blond. It was superior and condescending, and it was very ugly for such a beautiful boy. "Rodger told me that you haven't been to the orphanage since giving R L's title."
"That is correct."
Mello's fist collided with the table with so much force, Near feared his would break it. "Why?" Mello asked with a seething rage that Near didn't recognize. It reminded him of a bull still in his cage, ready to break out and throw off his rider.
"Why?" Near echoed.
"Matt was your friend, too!" Mello snapped.
Near stared at Mello for a breath, controlling himself. "Matthew was a colleague, yes. But, I wouldn't go as far as-"
Mello was very stealthy, very fast, and very, very strong. Near made the mistake of keeping his gaze down, staring back at the reflection in the cooling java. His words stopped when he felt a hand wrap around his neck. He dropped the mug on the table, the coffee spilling and making the clear glass table a frosted brown. Mello dragged Near back to the wall and pinned him up, leaving him to reach for his breath on the tips of his toes.
"Well, well, well. Look at you, all high and mighty, but it seems you've lost a lot of weight. You're even more weightless than the last time I saw you. No more baby fat, huh? What's the matter, Near? Can't eat?" Mello left only about half of an inch between their faces as he whispered, "Is it all that guilt?"
Now Near was choking and gasping because fuck Mello was in his space and now he was scared and I can't breathe I can't breathe I can't breathe. "Me… Mello… stop… you'll kill me…" He struggled to say, though it was mostly unintelligible.
Mello smirked and leaned away, raising Near off the ground entirely. The younger boy immediately grabbed Mello's wrist and tried to hold himself up to breathe. His face was past red, slowly growing purple. Mello rather enjoyed the change of pace on Near's stupidly placid face.
"Answer my question and I'll let you go."
Near shook his head, coughing. "Not guilt. Just… not forced… to eat."
Mello smirked, raising Near even higher. The whimper Near made was music to his ears. He wondered if he was going to end up in Hell just for enjoying this. Then, he realized that - if Hell existed - he was going to end up there anyways and he didn't care. This as far too good to not enjoy. Liar, liar pants on fire. "You're lying, sheep shit."
Near made a kick for Mello's head, but Mello squeezed the boy's throat a little tighter and Near cried out, one hand crawling at Mello's while the other one held his wrist for dear life. "Mello, please!" Near begged. Mello observed the colored face for a moment, once he saw the blue peaking at Near's lips, he dropped the boy to the floor. Like a doll, Near limply fell to his knees and then his side.
Near passed out for several minutes, and Mello couldn't bring himself to care. Instead, he used the time to clean up the mess he made. He had never liked making messes, and disliked leaving them even less. He was no clean freak, not like Beyond, just cautious. A mess can leave evidence, and he didn't want evidence of this accident in Near's home. He was here for a reason, after all.
When Near came to, he found himself lying on his back with Mello in a chair beside him, elbows on thighs, staring down at him. The kitchen light passed through Mello's hair like an artificial halo and Near felt the sudden urge to hit himself for thinking that. If anything, Mello came from the very depths of Hell, like his own personal demon. A living reminder that you can't save everyone, not even when you're ready to die for them.
"Why are you here?" Near finally asked, voice scratchy and soft.
Mello tucked some of his hair behind his ear, and then offered Near his hand. Near, of course, didn't take it and stood on his own.
"You're legs are stronger." Mello noted.
"No, they're not. I just don't trust you." Near bit out.
Mello scoffed. "Good answer."
"Now give me one."
His words hung suspended in the air, like a god took away their air and left them in its place. Mello stood also, folding his arms across his bare chest. Sometimes, Near felt the urge to ask Mello about all the other scars, curious and intrigued. Then, he realized, he probably didn't want to know how Mello got those.
Mello took half a step closer. "I have a proposal."
Near didn't say anything, letting Mello prepare his words before delivering them.
"I know you don't like doing field work while freelancing, and I also know you don't like going out into town to run errands. You looked annoyed at the grocery store. Am I right?"
Near gave a sigh, his throat still incredibly sore and he wondered why Mello had done that if he now wanted to bargain with Near. "Yes."
That ugly smirk again. It was only there for a second, a twitch of the lips that didn't go unnoticed by near. "Good. Well, I have two different offers to make, then."
"I'm listening."
"I know you are. Offer one: I'll run your errands, all of them, if you give me a place to stay."
Near let the confusion register on his face, his eyes lifting from Mello's sternum to his eyes. "You want to live with me? Why not the orphanage?"
"I need to get a permanent job, and I'd rather not be in the house of nightmares. Do I want to live with you? No, not exclusively, but I do need a place to stay and I can't stand being too far away from Matt." He admitted, and Near saw that bit of vulnerability that Mello was exposing. He was really trying here.
Near licked his bottom lip and then raised his hand to his long hair, curling a piece around his index finger. "I'm not saying I mind, but you are aware that this is a one bedroom apartment, right? As in, I only have one bed."
Mello was entirely stone-faced when he asked, "How big is it?"
Near's eyebrows furrowed, looking back to Mello. "What kind of question is that?"
"An easy one."
"A double, why?"
He shrugged. "It's a bit necessary for the next deal, unless you prefer the floor… or the couch, the wall, the table, the shower, I don't know."
Near was starting to get an idea of where this was headed, and he really didn't like that direction.
"Tell me, Near, what is your sexuality?"
"Are you joking?"
Mello shook his head. "I'm very serious."
He was stalling. "What does this have to do with your offer?"
"A lot, actually."
Near rolled his eyes. "I'm asexual."
"Pity."
"I'm guessing this puts a stop to this deal of yours?" Near asked, keeping the hope out of his voice. He couldn't say no to Mello. Not after taking away Matt's life.
"Not at all." Mello said with a smile in his voice. "Here's the deal: I'll be your field agent if you be my bitch."
Near's eyes widened an impressive amount before he moved out of Mello's way and shook his head. "You're crazy."
"Yeah, I am, that's why I'm asking this. I can't get over Matt, Near. I need this."
There it was again, that steel ball of guilt in his gut - maybe his heart - that was so heavy he wanted to fall to his knees. It's my fault. It's all my fault.
"I'm not Matt, Mello."
"I can pretend you are."
Near froze. No. No. God, please, no. "You want me to pretend to be Matt?"
"Only when we sleep together, yeah. I need him, Near. I need this. I won't be able to move on. You owe me, and you know it. It's your fault he's dead, after all."
There it was. The bomb was dropped. When Matt died, Mello never said it. He didn't want to compromise the case. Now, there were no drawbacks. The worst that could happen would be Near saying no. Mello approached the smaller boy who had his back turned. The shirt clung to the muscle and bones of Near's back and Mello could see that he was trembling.
Good. "So," Mello said casually, putting a heavy hand on Near's shoulder. He took pleasure in Near's jump of surprise (or maybe fear.) "Do we have a deal?"
Words took the place of air again and Near felt like he was being strangled all over again. "Yeah," He said hoarsely. "We have a deal."
- Thank you for reading!
- Please be sure to follow or review.
- Next update hopefully before the end of the year.
Destery 3
