(...unWARP!)

Good evening.

PREFACIO

This is an attempt to expand on one of Tiny Toons Adventures most neglected characters: Mary Melody. While most characters were complete in themselves, Mary, and plenty of others, could have done much more in the series. Here, her character will be expanded and developed probably more than in the entire series (and maybe all the previous fanfics put together). Oh, and expect some blatant self-insertion, he he…

There is also plenty of Spanish dialogue here. For those of you who are rather rusty in the language of Cervantes, there is a convenient glossary at the end of each chapter.


"Hiya, Toonsters! I'm Buster Bunny!"

"And I'm Babs Bunny."

"No relation," they chorused.

Buster then continued with, "Today, on Tiny Toons Adventures, we'll take a closer look at one of our classes…"

The two rabbits happily continued their dialogue in the hall of Acme Looniversity. Some distance away, a certain member of the Tiny Toons cast was watching as the stars of the show made yet another dialogue to the camera. Quickly, she turned and walked away.

It wasn't that they were doing it wrong. Not at all, in fact, they had done that introduction so many times they were practically doing it by reflex. It might be that it was getting just a trifle monotonous and annoying, for her, at least.

No. The problem was that they were in the spotlight, and she wasn't.

Again.

Why couldn't the show do an episode on her, just once? Sure, there was one where it was just Furrball, Sweetie Bird, and she, but the focus was once again on the predator/prey team. Not even her pink bikini was able to get the attention off them and onto her. And the way things were going, if she had worn nothing she still would not have got any attention. Today she wore her usual light purple dress shirt and blue jeans, and her ponytail was highlighted by a pink bow, but again, no one noticed.

And why?

Because that was not her role. She was cast as a simple anchor girl, and sometimes as Furrball's alternate owner. That cat switched back and forth from Elmyra to her, and even to living on the street, but even that voiceless cat got his own episodes.

She should have examined her contract more closely before signing. One hundred episodes and absolutely none were exclusively about her. There were exclusives on Sweetie, Furrball, and even Concord, but not her. Just supporting roles at best, and a myriad of cameos, both here and in fandom. She had done so many cameos, in fact, that she was officially crowned "The Queen of Cameos".

And why?

Because she was not funny.

But wasn't that why she was here? To learn how to be funny? That was the reason why she applied. She wanted to make others laugh, but given that she was probably the sanest student in the entire school, the most she could hope for now was try out for wacky newscasts a-la Saturday Night Live. But even then, she would have to heavily rely on other writers, as well as current events. Furthermore, she knew that she would never be able to do stand-up work, much less loony comedy. No one had come up to her asking for a wild-take, not even in Wild Takes Class.

And the reason was because she simply wasn't funny.

Nor crazy.

Nor loony.

And no one needed her to be funny, crazy, or loony.

She would have transferred a long time ago if her contract hadn't obligated her to stay here.

Slamming her locker shut slightly harder than usual, Mary Melody trudged toward her next class, ready to take notes and pay attention, and basically, to sit in the shadows as the animal toons, and Montana and Elmyra, were given the spotlight.

Her secret hope was all but gone now.


"Never underestimate the little people, especially if they outnumber you." — The J.A.M.

Cree Summer Franks

Luke Ruegger

Candi Milo

Kath Soucie as Sneezer

Calamity Coyote and Little Beeper as Themselves

The J.A.M.

lift up

MARY

also starring

Joe Alaskey

Gail Matthius

Danny Cooksey

Cree Summer Franks as Elmyra

and Kath Soucie as Fifi LaFume

with appearances by

Charles Adler

Tress MacNeille

Hadley Kay

and Noel Blanc

Written by The J.A.M. (but please call me J.A.M.)

Edited by Kevin Mickel

Re-edited by Professor Nathaniel T. Freeman

To all who are in search of themselves, and to all who are thrown into the shadows of others, and in memory of Charles Martin "Chuck" Jones.