Movie Marathon Madness Chapter 3

Hey guys! Here's the next chapter; SkyKhanHunter, Izanagi7, and SuperfluousMan, this is for you guys!

You know, I was wondering, do I make Ichigo sound too girly? I've never written much from the POV of a guy, so I don't know… actually, I think that writing Hitsugaya's dialogue is hardest of all. And he's the youngest and I love his character so much, so I would have thought that it would be easier… did you know, when I first saw him, I thought he was a girl? :D

Back to business:

DISCLAIMER: I do not own Bleach, Star Wars or Star Trek, their respective characters, or anything pertaining to them.

Yes, I did just say Star Trek. Why? You'll have to read and see ;)

There! Please review with any thoughts or ideas you have for the story! Eradona did; Unohana's brainchild actually originated with her. Thanks guys! You are the best!

~ the Kat

BLEACH BLEACH BLEACH

Bright and early the next morning in the in-between world, Ichigo, Orihime, and Rukia, bearing seven DVDs and a monstrous platter full of cookies, were running for their lives. From a cleaner.

"Every… freakin'… time…" Ichigo growled between gasps for air.

After passing through the entrance gate and catching their breath, the three friends split up to fulfill their pre-movie missions.

Orihime took charge of her enormous cookie platter and trotted off to the Thirteenth Division, waving goodbye. Whistling happily and tunelessly, Orihime happened upon the very person she needed to see. "Ukitake-Taicho! Good morning!"

"Good morning, Inuoe-san," Ukitake Juushiro, Taicho of the Thirteenth Division (which held the notable distinction of being Kuchiki Rukia's division), replied, slowing his pace to match hers. "So, are you here for our Kuchiki's movie marathon? Is there anything you need help finding?"

"Yes! Actually, there is something I wanted to ask you. You see, I made cookies for everyone, but I haven't had time to frost them yet - they're so yummy when they have frosting, you have to try them, Ukitake Taicho! – and I was wondering if it would be okay if I used some of your division's ingredients to make the frosting for them."

Ukitake, who had never been informed of the infamy of Orihime's cooking, smiled down brightly on the eager redhead. "Certainly, Inoue-san. Our division kitchen is that way. You may help yourself to any of our supplies and utensils; I hope that you find everything you need. We are planning on having the marathon at the Kuchiki mansion near Sixth Division, however; you can store your cookies either here or there once you have finished frosting them. I'm sure they will be delicious; I can't wait to try them!"

"Thank you, Ukitake Taicho! I'm so glad! And I'll make sure to save some for you; I never try my cooking beforehand when I'm sharing it with people, but Rukia and Ichigo have already tried one each, and they told me that it was the best of my cooking that they've ever had. And I know that they will be even better with frosting!" Orihime exclaimed.

Ukitake laughed at the girl's enthusiasm. "I'm sure they will be. But if you will excuse me, I must go tell Shunsui about the event."

"Shunsui?"

"Ah, I mean Kyouraku Taicho, of the Eighth Division. I am on my way to inform him now."

"Oh, of course! Thanks for all your help, Ukitake Taicho!" Orihime waved as she and Ukitake parted ways.

As she waltzed into the pantry, Orihime straightaway noticed a large supply of confectioner's suger and some semi-sweet chocolate morsels nearby.

"Powdered suger: check! Chocolate chips to melt and make the frosting dark: check! Now, where's the cream cheese and milk?"

BLEACH BLEACH BLEACH

Rukia shunpoed over straight to her home, and entered the front door. Running with loud slaps of her sandals on the polished, empty hallways, she deftly made all the necessary turns - left, then right twice, left again, and one more right - to draw up short directly in front of the twin doors leading into her brother's private office. Smoothing her hair back into place – all except for that one strand of hair that kept landing squarely between her eyes, no matter what she did – she took a deep breath, and rapped a short firm staccato.

"Come in," called a deep yet soft voice. The words appeared to be carried out to the petite girl on the beams of sunlight that radiated through the door's paper panels.

Rukia smiled and went through immediately. "Good morning, Nii-sama! Oh, hey, Renji," she added to a spiky-red-haired young man waiting upon the signature of a slightly older, sedate gentleman at a desk with stacks of papers.

Abarai Renji, Sixth Division fukutaicho, scowled as he turned towards Rukia. "Oh, it's you. Of course you show up now. Right after I went through all the paperwork to get approval to travel to the real world deliver an updated soul pager to you there. Of course, no one bothers to tell me that you are due back here today, and that you could pick it up yourself. Especially not you, Rukia," he taunted, drawing his elaborate face tattoos together in a meant-to-be-menacing display of animosity.

Rukia only laughed at him. "Oh, so you missed picking on me so much that you tackled all that extra paperwork in order to see me sooner? Or did you just want to antagonize Ichigo again?"

Renji's scowl grew even deeper. "Like heck I did! All shinigami stationed outside the Soul Society need the latest devices in order to save the most souls from Hollows, and I was the logical choice to send the pager with, since I have the most hours spent in the real world recently besides you. It had nothing to do with wanting to see you or Ichigo."

Rukia scoffed at him playfully. "Ha, Renji, you have a lot of experience in the real world? Your knowledge doesn't even come close to mine! I've been studying the real world for the last few weeks, the lives of mortal adolescents specifically – I've tried video games, and shopping, and lots of other things – have you ever done any of that? And now, we are even going to watch movies!"

Kuchiki Byakuya, Sixth Division Taicho and Rukia's elder brother through his adoption of her, raised his head at this. "We? I thought that you were to stay in Sereitei for the remainder of the weekend."

Rukia turned toward him, bubbling with excitement. "Yes, Nii-sama, but as part of my assignment to educate the Gotei Thirteen about the current state of mortal life, Ukitake Taicho gave permission to hold a movie marathon in Sereitei!"

Renji dropped his belligerent act at this news and leaned forward in curiousity. "Really? I've heard of those! What movies will you be watching?"

"Star Wars! And you and Nii-sama are especially invited! Actually, all of the Gotei Thirteen are welcome for the educational experience, but I wanted to invite you two particularly."

Byakuya looked thoughtful. "Star Wars? Are you sure it isn't actually Star Trek?"

Rukia shook her head emphatically. "No, I'm sure."

Byakuya's eyebrows straightened almost imperceptibly. "Ah, that is good. I have never been fond of Star Trek ever since I caught a glimpse of it on a mortal world mission in the sixties. There was this disturbing character, with dark hair, tall, reserved, and quiet, who rarely let emotion show on his face or in his voice. He possessed a number of strange abilities, and always upheld the ideals of his government. The scene I remember most is one in which he says something about the "good of the many" overriding "the good of the one," or some such nonsense. He was named… oh, I can't recall. But he really grated upon my nerves. I was stationed in the real world with Soi Fon Taicho at the time, and she told me that he reminded her of me. I couldn't see any resemblance."

Renji, from his location behind his Taicho's chair, tried, unsuccessfully, to rein in his laughter with a hand stuffed in his mouth.

Rukia covered for him with a slight cough. "No, Nii-sama, from your description, I do not see any resemblance at all."

"I thought not. Well, with regards to your invitation, I think that our presence at your marathon could be managed."

"Oh, that's wonderful! Especially since Ukitake Taicho requested permission to host the event here."

"What?"

"Well, our home has more space in it than the Thirteenth Division compound – we would only need one large room; the rest of the house would be sectioned off and inaccessible to the movie watchers."

"Hmmm… if Ukitake Taicho requests it, and if we do as you suggest regarding the rest of the mansion, I do not see why not," Byakuya responded levelly. Inside, though, he warmed at observing the happiness this simple acquiescence invoked in Rukia.

"Thank you, Nii-sama! I better let Ichigo and Orihime-chan know right away! Oh, and I must remember to tell Ichigo to inform Ishida and Sado, too. Bye!" she called from her already rapid progress down the hall.

"Wait – Kurosaki is here? And he's coming too?" Byakuya asked himself softly, staring unfocused at the space where Rukia was standing just a second before.

Renji didn't hear him. "Taicho, you said our presence – does that mean that you want me to postpone completing today's paperwork in order to watch this movie marathon?" he asked doubtfully.

"What was that, Renji? Oh. Yes, I do," Byakuya responded thoughtfully. He forced his now slack-jawed fukutaicho to step back as he rose from his desk. "You will attend, Abarai Renji, and you will keep an eye on young Kurosaki, and will prevent him from stirring up any trouble in my mansion, as he invariably does wherever and whenever he sets foot in Sereitei."

"Of course, Taicho. There is nothing I'd rather do," Renji grinned mischievously.

BLEACH BLEACH BLEACH

Meanwhile, the embodied source of Byakuya's aggravation trudged slowly towards the Fourth Division, hand twitching toward his zanpakuto and a wary eye wide open for any Eleventh Division members. The last thing he wanted today was to be laid up in a sickroom before the movies even started from an unprovoked attack by those battle-crazy monsters, especially their huge fearsome Taicho, Zaraki Kenpachi.

Ichigo still couldn't figure out how to get Zaraki to leave him alone and realize that he did not want a rematch, had never wanted one, and never would as long as his sanity remained. He had tried everything. He had yelled his refusal to fight. He had adopted a policy of running away upon sight or sound of Kenpachi or his perpetual motion machine of a fukutaicho, Kusajishi Yachiru. He had even asked Rukia for help, thinking that her years in the Gotei Thirteen would have given her some experience in reasoning with the berserk man. Ichigo sighed when he remembered that failure. He should have known that Rukia's single method of communicating difficult concepts was to create those juvenile sketches in that ridiculous notebook she seemed able to produce out of her sleeves at the drop of a hat. How she expected that a scrawl of a smiling bunny hopping away in fear from a roaring teddy bear dripping in blood would convince Zaraki to stop bothering him was beyond his comprehension.

Finally, he arrived at the Fourth Division headquarters. He asked one of the healers he found inside which room was Hinamori Momo's, and she pointed him in the right direction, speaking softly, a little in awe of him. Ichigo supposed that he might have become something of a legend in the Fourth Division. He possessed a unique ability to constantly fall down three-quarters dead in the middle of a battle, get right back up, fight some more, then win before succumbing and receiving healing, now seven-eighths dead. After that, he generally defied their orders, snuck out, and battled another enemy days earlier than they told him he would be able to stand. It would make sense that he would become something to be admired and watched, and perhaps a little feared, while inside a hospital.

Ichigo knocked at Momo's door. A gentle voice chimed through the thick wood. "Please come in." Ichigo frowned; it did not sound like Hinamori's voice. He shrugged and pushed open the door anyway.

He found Hinamori sitting down in a cushioned chair, facing Unohana Retsu and Kotetsu Isane, the Taicho and fukutaicho of Fourth Division, respectively. All three women looked at him expectantly. Reflexively, Ichigo backed away. "Sorry about that, I didn't mean to interrupt," he said, heading toward the door. From growing up next to his family's hospital, he knew that it was profoundly rude to intrude upon a patient's privacy during an appointment; they must have thought he was a Fourth Division member when they invited him in.

"Oh, don't worry, Kurosaki-san. I knew that it was you outside the door. We had just finished our little visit with Hinamori-san. You are not interrupting anything," the same sweet voice as Ichigo heard previously assured him. Unohana Taicho beamed at the substitute Shinigami as she finished speaking.

Ichigo smiled back a bit worriedly; it was unsettling that this powerful woman knew so much about him as to recognize his presence and know exactly what he was thinking. He quickly changed the subject. "I just came on an errand for Rukia – the Thirteenth Division is hosting a movie marathon in order for you all to learn about what we mortal teens do in the real world for fun. Rukia wanted to invite you, Hinamori-san, personally."

Hinamori Momo, the slight, bun-haired fukutaicho of the Fifth Division, widened her dark eyes in surprise. "Kuchiki-san wants me to come especially? Oh, how kind of her! I'd love to come! At least, I think that I will be available today," she finished hesitantly, glancing at Unohana and Isane.

Silver-haired Isane grinned right back at her shy fellow fukutaicho. "Well, you certainly have no obligations here. Your health is making excellent progress; a little party with your friends will do you good."

"Speaking of friends, Rukia wanted me to tell you that you can invite whomever you like. The more the merrier, she said."

"Hooray!" cried Hinamori, as she elevated herself from her chair with a little bounce. "I'll go ask Shiro-chan if he would like to come; he could use a break from all his division duties. Really, such a little boy deserves some free time. I'll head over to Tenth Division right now!"

As the remaining trio watched Momo scamper off, Isane chuckled to herself. "It's a good thing Hitsugaya Taicho wasn't here; I don't think that he would have enjoyed hearing himself referred to as a 'little boy.' I sure would have enjoyed watching him hear it, though," she shook her head ruefully, her three thin braids swinging.

Unohana smiled placidly, lowering her chin into the base of her long dark frontal braid. "I don't think it would have been terribly amusing to watch, Isane. After all, Hinamori-san is a privileged individual, as far as Hitsugaya-kun goes; she is like family to him." She raised her head and looked Ichigo in the eye. "What exactly are these movies that are to be shown in the marathon? I do not recall you mentioning them."

"Oh, Star Wars, Unohana Taicho. They're really good. I think Hinamori-san will like them," Ichigo replied respectfully. The women seemed to inspire that emotion quite frequently in him and most of the inhabitants of the Sereitei.

"I am glad to hear it. I was sure that you would have informed me if they could contain anything offensive or upsetting to Hinamori-san," she replied gently, but with a heavier undertone that was not lost on Ichigo.

"Uh, well, there is a lot of fighting, sword fighting in fact, but nothing that a fukutaicho hasn't experienced often enough already. And no blood, actually! So it's a lot better than what you guys see every day," Ichigo said cheerily, if a bit forcedly.

Isane looked mystified. "Lots of sword fighting, but no blood? How is that possible?"

"Oh, the swords are a special type of weapon, called lightsabers. They cauterize wounds as they cut, in general. There's only one case where they don't, in the fourth movie. But for the rest, it's pretty bloodless – even when an enemy is sliced in half at the midsection, there's no bleeding," Ichigo explained, recalling Darth Maul's demise at the end of the first film.

"Oh, really?" That was all that Unohana Taicho said aloud, but inside her head, age-old wheels were turning. A weapon that cauterized wounds – even ones as deep as to penetrate the entire torso - that would be a lifesaver in the Sereitei, quite literally! If she could convince Kurotsuchi Mayuri, the Twelfth Division Taicho and the head of the Gotei Thirteen research and development, to work on this, she could only imagine how many fatal injuries could be averted. And if they could be produced in different styles, as she had every confidence that Kurotsuchi Taicho could accomplish if he was motivated properly, perhaps they could secretly replace Zaraki Taicho's zanpakuto with one – he did not even know its name or how to communicate with it, so as long as it actually cut something, he probably wouldn't notice or care about the difference. That would wipe out a significant portion of the Eleventh Division sparring practice patients her division had to treat regularly. Unfortunately, as all these revolutionary ideas were being mulled over, poor Unohana Taicho had no way of realizing that Star Wars was actually a fantasy series and lightsabers currently a product of science fiction, and Ichigo had no inkling of the lofty but groundless plans his words had just engendered.

The oblivious teenager turned to leave. "Well, I hope that you two can make it to the marathon also. I'm sure that you and your division deserve some relaxation just as much as Hinamori-san and Toshiro. Now that I've passed on the message, I better head back to the Thirteenth Division. Rukia's supposed to meet us there and let us know where the marathon will be exactly, and Inoue should already be there frosting her cookies."

Unohana and Isane froze. As both officers of the healing division and friends of Rukia and Renji, they had heard some tales of Orihime's cooking before. "Did you just say Inoue-san brought cookies?" Isane asked cautiously.

"Yeah... oh, don't worry, Inoue made Rukia and me try them before we headed down here. Inoue said that she and Tatsuki made up the recipe especially for baking when watching Star Wars; she calls them 'dark side cookies.' They're just dark chocolate cookies; they're actually really good. I think that maybe Inoue is finally learning to cook like a normal person."

"Oh, really?" Unohana said for the second time in as many minutes, raising one eyebrow skeptically.

BLEACH BLEACH BLEACH

Meanwhile, back at the Thirteenth Division, Orihime found herself in a bit of a quandary.

"Hmmm… well, there's plenty of milk, but I can't seem to find cream cheese anywhere," she sighed as she peered into the oversized refrigerator fruitlessly. "No butter, either. Sour cream or yogurt would be next on my list of cream cheese substitutes, but they seem fresh out of those, too. Huh, for a division that's so short on dairy products, they sure have a lot of candy – I saw at least three big bags full of all different kinds right beside the chocolate chips. I wonder if Ukitake Taicho knows about that? Oh, but that's not important right now! I need to make my frosting! What to do, what to do?"

She scanned the kitchen shelves, tapping her lip with her index finger, thinking furiously. She had plenty of experience in dilemmas like this; when living on a minimal budget as she did, one learned to make do with what came cheapest. With this limitation and her active imagination, Orihime's circumstances spawned some very creative recipes. "Well, basically, I need cream cheese to make the frosting creamy or paste-like; therefore, I should use something that's creamy or pasty!" Her eyes lit up. "Bean paste! Of course! I love cooking with bean paste! I've never tried it in frosting, though."

She hummed to herself as she mixed it in with the other ingredients. She allowed her thoughts to ramble subconsciously, as they usually did when she let herself relax and enter into a manual task. "Cream cheese, bean paste. They should be good substitutes. After all, cream cheese, as well as butter and sour cream and yogurt, all come from cow's milk. And cows eat and make milk from grass and legumes, don't they? And beans are a type of legume, right? I wonder why I never thought of that before," she mused idly. However, a new problem interrupted the rhythm of her work. "Oh no! There's not enough bean paste for all this frosting! Maybe there's another container here?"

She rushed back to the shelves, but for the life of her could not locate another bean paste jar. After a long search, she decided upon the closest food item she could find. "Well, fish paste is paste too, I guess… hopefully it will not be too different. I only need to add a little bit after all. But there goes all my nice food symmetry! I'm pretty sure that no cow has ever eaten a fish…"

BLEACH BLEACH BLEACH

"Yeah, I wouldn't worry about the cookies, if I were you," Ichigo affirmed.

Isane giggled nervously. "Okay, that's good to know, Kurosaki-san. I'm sure that I'll look forward to eating some if I have time today to drop by."

Unohana Taicho smiled benignly. "I'm sure Isane will love them, just as long as they don't have any fish –"

"Don't say it!" Isane shrieked suddenly, unable to bear even the spoken name of her greatest fear.

"Paste," Unohana Retsu ended in a whisper to Ichigo.

BLEACH BLEACH BLEACH

Hinamori Momo knocked on the door to the Tenth Division's office.

"Come in!" said a gruff but surprisingly young-sounding voice.

"Good morning, Shiro-chan!"

Without looking at the door, a pure white – haired small boy yelled reflexively, "It's Hitsugaya Taicho to you! Don't call me Shir- oh, it's you, Hinamori. Good to see you. How are you today?"

"I'm feeling very well, thank you, Shiro-chan."

Hitsugaya Toshiro, Tenth Division Taicho, peered at Hinamori observantly. "Good. You look better. Well, what did you come all this way for? Surely it wasn't just to say hello. Did you need to ask me something?"

"Actually, Shiro-chan, I wanted to ask if you were busy today."

"Of course I can help you with anything if you need me."

"Oh, I don't need help – it's just that the Thirteenth Division is having a demonstration of a real-world activity called a movie marathon – it's supposed to be a lot of fun. I was wondering if you wanted to come with me."

"Ah… well, Hinamori, actually, I really do have a lot of paperwork. So I'm sorry, not right now. But maybe, if I can FINISH all this PAPERWORK" - this last comment was directed at the back of a certain flowing orange hair-covered head, that reflexively ducked back over her desk - "then maybe I can join you there later. Is that alright?"

"Of course, Shiro-chan!"

"Good. And, maybe if you don't mind, you could try to convince my fukutaicho to attend the event. However, you should let her know that she's not allowed to go until she FINISHES all her PAPERWORK for today."

"Sure thing, Shiro-chan."

"Alright then. I need to go get something; I'll be right back." Hitsugaya Taicho rose from his desk and left the office.

Hinamori wandered across the office to stand behind the beautiful Tenth Division fukutaicho, Matsumoto Rangiku. She could hear Matsumoto muttering indistinctly as she crouched over and manipulated something upon her desk, but Hinamori could only pick up on a few words, "get him back" and "serve him right" among them, and "stupid paperwork" most often of all. "What are you doing, Rangiku-san?"

"Eep!" squealed the fukutaicho, quickly stuffing a long can down her shihakusho. Hinamori caught the words "Men's Formula – Double Strength!" on the label before it disappeared below Matsumoto's neckline. "You scared me, Momo-chan!"

"Why do you have men's shaving cream in the office?" Hinamori peered curiously over Rangiku's shoulder at the top of the desk. "And aren't those Shiro-chan's socks?"

"Aw, darn!"

BLEACH BLEACH BLEACH

"I'll insert the disc for Ukitake Taicho!"

"No, I'll insert the disc!"

"No, Kiyone, I know he'd want me to do it!"

"But I can do it better than you, Sentaro!"

"Okay, hold it!" Ichigo interrupted the bickering Thirteenth Division Third Seat duo. Everyone stopped all conversations immediately. Ichigo was a bit surprised, but then realized that he was grasping his zanpakuto by the hilt. It was sheer force of habit now when shouting at Shinigami. He silently reminded himself to employ this in future arguments, but removed his fingers from Zangetsu for the time being. "Before we all start watching, we need to decide on some rules."

"Rules?" Renji asked wonderingly. "You mean, for something you do on your free time, you have to obey more rules? How lame is that! That's like saying there are rules when you spar for practice!"

"Wow, Renji. I'm beginning to understand more and more how well you fit in with the Eleventh Division. But that aside, yes, there are some basic rules when you go to the movies in the mortal world. More like etiquette, actually. No cell phones ringing, for instance…"

Ukitake Taicho and Kuchiki Taicho surreptitiously placed their hands into their respective sleeves and fiddled around. A small "beep" came out of apparently their elbows. Then they turned to face Kyouraku Taicho.

"What? You think I actually carry that on me at all times? I started leaving my pager with Nanao centuries ago. My sweet fukutaicho finds me without fail as soon as I get into the swing of a drinking party, and any orders for me invariably come when I'm having a good time, so it's inevitable that my soul pager will be nearby when I actually need to hear it. I have a cursed fate…"

"O-kay, now that that's taken care of, on to the other rules," Ichigo ignored Kyouraku Taicho's lamentations. "Generally, talking during movies is discouraged. But it's not rude if you talk with your friends quietly about the movie a little bit. When you're at home watching a movie with friends however, you can set up the rules yourself. Like girls singing every single song out loud in a musical, for instance; that's popular at girl slumber parties, but definitely not allowed in a movie theater."

The three taichos and one fukutaicho turned to him as one when Ichigo let this slip. "Oh really, Kurosaki-kun, and how are you so well-versed on the customs of overnight all-female parties?" Kyouraku Taicho queried teasingly. Even Ukitake grinned a little at this comment; Renji smiled ferally, and Byakuya just stared at him slightly-wide eyed, but his face started becoming colder and colder…

Ichigo gulped. "I'm not. But Arisawa and Inoue told me about their sleepovers. I would never dream of…"

Kyouraku, Ukitake, and Renji burst out laughing. Byakuya smirked a little bit, but his eyes still looked a little dilated. Ichigo made a mental note to watch what he said closer around those four, Byakuya especially. He did not want to find out how scratch-resistant his DVDs were when confronted by an avalanche of blade-sharp sakura blossoms.

"Anyway, along with that comes the decision about pausing. If we decide to allow discussion of the movie, we might want to stop it for a minute so that no one misses anything, or even rewind if something is confusing. Of course, this isn't even possible in a movie theater, but at home it's no problem. What do you guys want to do?"

"Well, we want this to be an educational experience, so what would a normal teenager do?" Ukitake asked.

"Huh, well, if you argue that I'm normal, which is kinda a large leap in logic, then I guess I'd go with the discussion and pausing allowed option. That's what I always did at home, watching movies with my family. And even when I saw the third episode of Star Wars in theaters for the third time with Kiego and Mizuro, we made fun of the movie together; very quietly, of course."

"You made fun of it? I thought you said you liked this movie! And three times, Ichigo! I thought these movie tickets were expensive!" Rukia harangued him.

"I do like the movie! But that's the mark of a real piece of art, that it can survive being laughed at. Some parts are a little silly, but it's still a great film. And it was my birthday, okay? I was turning sixteen, it had been out for two months, and I wanted to do something fun with my guy friends. And the expense was worth it – I want to support good movies! That's how more of them are made!"

"What! You told me the guy who is responsible for Star Wars is one of the richest people in the mortal world! How is your monetary support even going to be distinguishable?"

"Be quiet!" Ichigo bellowed, reaching for Zangetsu over his shoulder.

But Rukia was not phased in the least. "And all the times you laugh behind my back for buying Chappy stationary and collectibles – don't think I haven't noticed! You're such a hypocrite Ichigo!"

Poor Ichigo was cowed by Rukia's explosion. Mercifully, Kyouraku Taicho stepped in to deflect Rukia's attention. "I think that's a good idea too – about talking and stopping the movie. After all, we old Taichos are not as well-versed in the current mortal trends – there might be some things that the film takes for granted as common knowledge that will go right over our heads. Heh, even some things that my sweet Nanao expects me to have understood practically since birth constantly surprise me. Like the concept of substance-free housing."

Kuchiki Taicho felt the time for his input had arrived. "I agree with Kyouraku Taicho – but talking during the movie should be prohibited. Explanations while the film is paused are all very well, but conversation while the movie is playing out will lead to disorderliness," he murmured.

Ichigo just stared at him. He could never quite wrap his head around how Byakuya could mumble so quietly, but still everyone could understand every word he said. It must be his enunciation. A lot of the popular actors could take lessons from him, Ichigo mused.

"It's settled then!" Ukitake proclaimed brightly. "We'll pause the movie when we have a question or comment. Let's begin!"

"Yay!" cheered Orihime and Momo from the floor, a bowl of popcorn and chocolate candies beside them. The entire thirteenth division with assorted other officers settled in expectantly.

"Alright, here it goes!" declared Sentaro, moving the disc towards the DVD player with a flourish.

"Not so fast!" shouted Kiyone, who deftly placed her finger in the disc's hole and flicked it towards the player. The disc spun out like a Frisbee.

"Nooo!" Ichigo cried out in apprehension. Visions of his precious DVD shattering, followed by the loud explosions of both the DVD player and the oversized Sereitei-issue communication screen it was hooked up to, danced before his eyes.

With a gentle "plop," the DVD entered the front loading slot of the player, and the screen flickered to life.

"Ha! I'm so good!" crowed Kiyone.