I must be dreaming, or

we're onto something

I must be dreaming for

I don't fall in love lawlessly


When Rukia was jerked awake by persistent banging on her bedroom door, she was instantly thrown into a state of utter confusion. When had she gotten back? How? She could've sworn she'd been on the veranda, attempting to sort out her thoughts before…

Oh.

Well, if that wasn't embarrassing. Already it wasn't a good morning to wake up to, despite (or maybe because of) the girl still pounding on the door shouting "Good morning Rukia!" a little too cheerfully for the time of day.

"Ugh…Yuu, I'm awake!" Rukia yelled, one split second from yanking open the door and decking Yuu in the face.

Yuu bounded in, blonde bob and freckles bouncing around the bed like an overexcited golden retriever. Before Rukia could protest, she threw open the shades. Sunlight hit Rukia full in the face, bleaching everything in sight. On any other day she would cover her eyes and laugh it off, but today Rukia wished the sun would just go to hell.

"Goooood morning!" Yuu sang. "It's a lovely…um…are you okay?"

"I'm fine," Rukia growled from somewhere under her pillow.

As much as she wanted to feign illness and regain those precious lost hours of sleep, she did have a soul reaping job to attend to. She threw back the toasty comforter and rolled out into the nippy morning air. "Thanks, Yuu, but you really don't need to do all this."

"You probably already know," Yuu began, ignoring Rukia as she opened up more shades—how many did she need to open? "But everything should be fixed by tonight! Also, I thought you should know there's another dinner tomorrow…"

Rukia's skin prickled. "With who?"

Yuu grinned. "The Taira!"

Great. Another round of old men hitting on her, accompanied by other old men who hated her. Couldn't these pesky people stop bothering her?

"Oh, and Kuchiki-sama is waiting." Yuu glanced away sheepishly. "I was a little late to wake you up—"

"Please, you don't need to wake me up."

"—And, well, you wouldn't wake up, but it's 7:43 now so—"

Crap!

Rukia tore out of bed so fast she nearly tripped over a construction beam and brained herself on the bathroom tiles. She was brushing her teeth and halfway into her shihakusho by the time the headrush hit, while Yuu footled about, fretting on how to help. Forty seconds later she was in uniform, flash stepping through the door. She leapt into her seat—then leapt straight off.

Muffins! Kiyone was going to kill her—and as it was, she was already late to breakfast with Nii-sama. Rukia took one look at him and sank back down. She couldn't disappoint him twice in a row.

She lowered her gaze. "I apologize for my tardiness, Nii-sama. It will not happen again."

Nii-sama was displeased, but he said nothing. It was at times like this that she wished he would curse or yell or do whatever it took to get it out of his system, like Ichigo or Renji. At least then she wouldn't spend the rest of her meal pretending she didn't exist.

Breakfast was fifteen minutes cold, but she ate fast, finishing in record time and bidding Nii-sama good day before bolting out and dialing Kiyone. Of course, Kiyone didn't pick up. With a prickling sense of foreboding Rukia flashed to 13th. No sooner had she stepped in than she heard an irritated Kiyone making a scene in the office, and maybe she should've stayed home after all, because as she tiptoed in, the ground shook with the resounding smash of what sounded like the remains of Ukitake-taichou's desk.

"I have a few souls to reap because somebody stood me up on our breakfast date!" Kiyone shouted, flinging a handful of reports at Kotsubaki.

"Not mine, you dipstick!" Kotsubaki shielded himself with an arm as paper scattered everywhere.

"Monkey man!"

"Booger picker!" Kotsubaki grabbed an inkstone to return fire just as his eyes landed on Rukia.

She half-waved awkwardly.

Unfortunately Kiyone saw her at the exact same time. "You!" she howled. "Where have you been?"

The display was mostly for show, but even so, Rukia sidled in, trying to look as small and harmless as possible. "I am so sorry, Kiyone, I completely forgot—"

"I was waiting for thirty minutes! You didn't even call until after I left!"

"I know, I'm sorry…"

"Don't you know how terrible it is to keep a girl waiting? You're lucky I'm so forgiving!"

"I know, I'm terrible…" An ever-so-slight smile crept up on Rukia's face. "Next time you should just send me to Hell."

"Oh, believe me, I will."

Kotsubaki peeled a piece of tape off his uniform. "Well, that was anticlimatic."

Kiyone smacked him over the shoulder. "You started it."

Rukia looked over the sad remains of the office. "I'm sorry I started a war."

"Well, next time show up on time, 'kay?"

"Tomorrow?" Rukia said. "Same time? Seven-thirty at the Soul Café?"

"Fine. And this time you better show up!" Kiyone admonished. She wandered back to her seat, still muttering under her breath. "Thirty minutes, Rukia, thirty minutes…and I was so excited to tell you the news…"

"What news?"

Kiyone huffed. "You don't get to find out because you didn't show up!"

"Oh." Rukia turned around and began fussing with the mess of paper on Ukitake's desk. She started counting from ten.

At seven, Kiyone opened her mouth. "Okay, I'll give you a hint. We're planning another photoshoot—"

Rukia and Kotsubaki groaned.

"Hey, don't groan! This is serious business!"

"Spare me," Kotsubaki muttered.

"Well no one is going to take pictures of you, you ugly toad!" Kiyone snapped. "And cover your ears! You're not supposed to be eavesdropping on our secret girl talk!"

"I'm not eavesdropping you monkey girl! And if it's a secret then stop talking about it!"

Rukia frowned. "Um…didn't we try this before?" And by we, of course, she meant the idiot fangirls running the project nowadays, which was pretty much everyone excluding herself.

"Yeah, but we need funds and the photobook is the best we've got," Kiyone said. "Fortunately for you it'll include Kurosaki this time—not like you haven't seen him half naked already, but whatever." She grinned. "You missed last night's meeting, so I figured you'd want in on the news."

This wasn't really news, Rukia decided. The SWA was a devious fangirl club in disguise, always snapping hot shots for their "photobook" which came off sounding more like a porn collection than a photo directory. They always spent more resources trying (and failing) to get photos than the budget allowed, which meant they were draining funds instead of raising them. Though the girls at the SWA had yet to notice…

"And Taichou!" Kiyone squealed like the not-so-secret fangirl she was. Upon seeing Kotsubaki's sour face, she smirked. "And, of course, everyone except Kotsubaki. Abarai, Hisagi, Kuchiki-taichou…"

Rukia rolled her eyes.

"I really, really want pictures of Kuchiki-taichou," Kiyone teased.

"You always want pictures of Kuchiki-taichou," Rukia retorted.

"Um, who doesn't?" Kiyone laughed. "He's going to be the cover boy of the photobook, I tell you. I don't think there's a woman alive who can resist such eye candy." She paused, taking in Rukia's disapproving expression with a certain amount of pleasure. "I mean, come on. Even you've got to admit he's handsome, right?"

Rukia gave her a hooded look. "In my position, I would think that would be a strange question."

"Not really," Kiyone mused. "I asked if you thought he was handsome, not if you'd hook up with him."

Kotsubaki made a barfing sound from his desk. "That's disgusting, Kiyone."

Kiyone bristled. "Wooow. I asked if she thought her brother was handsome. Why do you think it has to be something weird?"

Kotsubaki rolled his eyes. "I don't know. Just don't."

Kiyone shrugged. "Well, if he was my brother, I'd still think he was hot. There's nothing wrong with finding people attractive—sometimes you just can't act on it, that's all. Like Kidou 101. Remember him, the kidou professor? Saito-sensei was smoking hot and everyone knew it. But no one ever acted on it." Pause. "That I know of."

Rukia snorted. "Yeah, okay."

"Yeah, okay," Kiyone parroted with a put-upon scowl. "Sheesh! You guys act like I'm the devil incarnate. All I'm saying is you were adopted. Not even as a kid. So basically one day this random hot dude just swoops in out of high society and claims you as his own. Two adults. Two strangers."

"So?"

"So is it really so bizarre to wonder?" Kiyone said. "Or did you really never consider it?"

Rukia swallowed. Across the room, Kotsubaki's hand paused on his report.

Gosh, her face was heating up.

"Of course not." Rukia narrowed her eyes. "And Nii-sama is not some 'random hot dude!'"

Kiyone shrugged. "Hot dude, dead fish, I don't care. If Saitou-sensei adopted me today, it'd be too late to deny his hotness. Though I guess I'm already going to hell."

This conversation was doing nothing to make anyone feel better. Rukia shook her head. "You sure like putting dangerous ideas in people's heads, Kiyone."

Kiyone's face brightened like she'd taken a compliment. "Well this was one dangerous idea I thought you should know about. He's evaded us before, but we'll get him." She rubbed her hands together, looking deviously fangirly. If Nii-sama were present, he might actually feel a twinge of fear.

"I guess I should let him know?" Rukia said dryly.

"Actually, we were wondering if you could help us."

Rukia's mouth went dry.

"We were hoping you could—hahaha, Rukia! Don't give me that look. I meant we were hoping you'd be willing to, you know, distract him."

"And what would you like me to do? Pole dance? You make it sound like he actually pays attention to me."

Kiyone laughed. "I mean, don't give him a heart attack, but I'm sure you could find some way to grab his attention."

Oh, she already had. Though she wasn't sure she could employ the stunt with an audience…

"Morning, everyone!"

Ukitake strolled in, effectively killing the conversation much to Rukia and Kotsubaki's relief. Ukitake, on the other hand, took one look at his office and sighed. "Can anyone explain why my office looks like a herd of Vasto Lordes trampled through it?"

Kiyone and Kotsubaki pointed at each other.

"This twerp had a temper tantrum, that's what!"

"Hey, monkey-man! You were the one who started throwing things!"

"Because you wouldn't shut up!"

Ukitake slumped. "Both of you…"

Kiyone and Kotsubaki froze. Then they zoomed around the office, picking up every report and fallen paperclip to spare.

"Don't worry Taichou, I'll clean it up for you!"

"No! I'll do it, Taichou, and I'll do it faster!"

Rukia gave the trio an affectionate, albeit irritated eye-roll. "I'm out."

On her way out, though, she didn't miss the next argument…this time about whether "a certain someone" preferred "Red" or "Orange" …fruits.

She ignored it, as usual.

And as usual, she was scheduled to patrol. The good thing about patrol was that there weren't crazy numbers of hollows wallowing around, at least on days when there weren't last-of-their-kind survivors who had to prove their worth by calling in hordes of hollows they couldn't defeat. So after purifying a few souls, Rukia popped by her favorite window in Karakura.

"I came to check on you," she greeted from the windowsill. "Since yesterday went awry."

Ichigo's trademark scowl melted into surprise. "Ru—"

"Neeeeeeeee-saaan!"

Rukia nearly fell out the window as a sobbing Kon immediately suckered his face to her chest. Normally any male who attached himself to her chest would be sent to the next world in a heartbeat, but she only kicked his face in and sighed. "And you wonder why I never come here anymore," she muttered. "This place is crawling with sexual assault."

"It's not my fault, and—god, Kon, cut it out. I can't have toys molesting people in public."

Ichigo slammed the door before Yuzu or Karin walked by and snatched Kon up by the tuft of his tail. Kon dangled for a second before spinning in circles, gathering centrifugal force while shouting obscenities no stuffed animal should know.

Rukia crossed her arms, watching Kon spin. "Sorry for snapping yesterday." God, she was apologizing an awful lot today. "You still are an idiot though."

"Whatever. It was Renji's fault anyway."

"Yeah, so you say."

Ichigo frowned. "So you aren't here to kill me?"

"That wouldn't be fair, now, would it?" Rukia said. "I'll have to wait till you're together. One job instead of two."

"Oh, great."

She glanced around. His room was the same as ever, and from where she stood, she could see the corner of the street she once walked daily. If only they could live that life again. Questionable cafeteria food, curious, no, crazy classmates, training the fledgling Ichigo… Back then her greatest worry had been what would happen in the next chapter of her favorite manga. No Winter War, no stupid Hougyoku, no inner Hollow eating Ichigo's soul alive…things were so much simpler then.

Out of habit she wandered to the closet and opened the door. The crap (or as Ichigo liked to put it, "camp") bed was still there. Yuzu's pajamas too. And at the far end, Inoue's long outdated magazines.

"I missed these." She scooped them up, tucking them under one arm. "You know I'll be taking these with me."

"Suit yourself. I don't read them."

"I kind of miss my closet."

Ichigo snorted. "The closet misses you."

She threw him a look. "Honestly, I'm surprised you kept everything. I thought I told you I wouldn't be coming back?"

"You should." Ichigo shrugged. "I'm sure Kon can handle one more night strapped to the back of the toilet."

"Hey!"

"I'd love to," Rukia replied in earnest. "Really. But I have a lot on my plate this week. A whole bunch of family affairs, this photoshoot Kiyone is forcing me to take part in—"

"A photoshoot?" Ichigo raised an eyebrow.

Rukia shrugged. "They want me to help them sneak photos of Nii-sama."

He raised the other brow.

"Again," she added.

Ichigo gave an unexpected bark of laughter.

She frowned. "Why are you laughing?"

Ichigo grinned. "Your brother's such an ass. I don't know if it's commendable or just plain weird that he can go fifty years without thinking about a girl when throngs of them are ready to jump him where he stands. I've never met a guy who both attracts and refuses so much attention. Maybe he doesn't swing that way? Or maybe he's just incapable."

"Nii-sama is not gay, and maybe you are just jealous."

"I'm not jealous, I just don't pretend to be something I'm not."

"You pretend to be a prude while peeking at undressing girls."

"What are you implying? I was covering my eyes!"

"Yeah. We noticed."

"Hey, all guys peek sometime! I'll bet you anything Byakuya has too. If he's a guy, he's no different."

Rukia's jaw dropped. "You and Nii-sama, as much as I admire you both, are very different men, and Nii-sama has principles that prevent him from sneaking around peeking at—"

Whoa.

Rukia blinked.

But Nii-sama would never purposefully watch, right? He was just taken by surprise…

"Whoa, sneaking around? I never said that." Ichigo paused, then sucked his lip. "Though I'm not not saying that, I guess."

Rukia flushed. "Whatever," she blustered, annoyed at everyone of the male gender right then. "I'll visit, whenever I get the chance. But I'm technically on duty and a little short on sleep, so I should get going before I screw something else up."

"Yeah, yeah, get out of here."

It was pouring again when Rukia returned with a stack of magazines in one hand and shoujo horror in the other. She shelved away her newfound spoils like a squirrel burying its hoard. Rabu Rabu, Eighteen Magazine, a few old romance manga…who said she didn't have a love life? It was just in print. And…written about other people.

But she was busy. If she had time and freedom and energy, she might take a love life into consideration…but even if she managed to find "the one," the family would be all over her back like ants on a carcass. They'd never allow anything unless it had some greater benefit for the Kuchiki name. It was all part of being in an old-fashioned family; next thing she knew, she'd be assigned an arranged marriage to that old geezer Taira or something stupid like that. Even then, she'd probably resign herself to duty and marry the guy. Everyone would simply expect it.

Nii-sama more than anyone. Even if he'd broken the law to marry Hisana, he'd never allow her to shirk her duty for her own personal fulfillment. When Rukia first learned about his past, she didn't believe a word of it. Afterward, she assumed he'd suffered the faults of the young, because the Nii-sama she knew would never commit such an atrocity.

An atrocity, they called it, when he fell for the one girl he shouldn't and then married her.

Such feelings aren't necessary for shinigami. But if Kaien and Miyako and even Nii-sama had fallen for those feelings, were Kiyone's ideas—the SWA's ideas—really so absurd? If friendship wasn't necessary to duty, why did Nii-sama allow her to circumnavigate the rules and go after Ichigo all these times? If love was a hindrance to duty, why was the family giving Nii-sama time to handpick his mate?

Rukia was so lost in quagmires that she ran into the man in question. Literally.

"Nii-sama!" she squeaked as she bounced off his chest for the third time in 24 hours. Really, this was getting to be a bit much…

"Rukia, I need to speak with you."

Rukia's breath caught.

She'd been outed on her drinking habits. Drink-flinging, tea-spitting drinking habits. Who'd outed her? Kiyone? Taira? That rat bastard? She was going to kill him. Or all three of them. Along with Ichigo and Renji. And Yuu.

"Yes…Nii-sama?" Voice of total innocence, total I have no idea what you're talking about

"As you asked whether we would have another meeting, I assumed you would want to know." His gaze was about a foot above her as he droned to the wall. "We will be guests at the Taira residence at six o'clock tomorrow evening."

"But I didn't—I…what?"

Rukia blinked up at him just in time to see him turning toward her. Which, after yesterday's incident, was about the last thing she needed. That not 24 hours ago he'd seen her naked… Rukia's face went hot.

Cover of the photobook, I tell you.

Funny how women everywhere wanted to ogle him to death, but right now Rukia couldn't even look at him.

"Yes, Nii-sama," she whispered, but by then he'd mistaken her silence for acceptance and passed her by. He never even looked at her.

No, he walked right past her, straight to a small corner shelf that couldn't have been any more interesting than the wall behind her. He was ignoring her…but he hadn't actually dismissed her either. She watched apprehensively as he browsed through the random collection of books on the far wall while Kiyone's words churned mercilessly in her head.

She'd never been privy to an unguarded moment, but his deliberate ignorance and her own morbid curiosity got the better of her. She stared him down, waiting, tracing his nobleman's brow to the straight, flat line of his mouth. If he smiled, it would be the end of Soul Society. She followed his sleek jawline, his fair complexion framed by long locks of sable hair and that elusive kenseikan. In the past she'd wanted to touch it to see if it was as soft as it looked, but like Kiyone said, it'd probably be crossing some sort of boundary.

Then Nii-sama turned and something in her died as she haplessly admired his assets.

Kiyone cackled. Well, if he was my brother, I'd still think he was hot.

Of course he was handsome. He was the most handsome thing she'd ever laid eyes on. People gossiped an embarrassing lot about the many attractive death gods Soul Society had to offer, but this was what they meant when the SWA wanted private photoshoots. He was gorgeous. Dashing. Beautiful, even. And suddenly she couldn't quite look him in the eye. Again.

Damn Kiyone and the SWA for this one. Somehow, looking at him felt as voyeuristic as if she'd walked in on his bath.

"Rukia. I asked you a question."

Rukia nearly jumped out of her skin. "What?"

And now she couldn't talk. Because the only thing running through her mind was, Oh my god Nii-sama did not just catch me staring at his crotch, and if she said something now she would just plain embarrass herself. But before she could open her mouth to certain doom, Yuu arrived to save her.

"Good evening!" Yuu exclaimed and Rukia released a breath she didn't realize she'd been holding. "How is your nose today, Kuchiki-sama?"

"…Fine."

Rukia gave him a sideways glance. Usually that kind of thing was said after punching someone in the nose. Did something happen? He looked…fine.

More than fine, actually.

Rukia quashed the thought.

Yuu nodded before turning to Rukia. Her cheery smile faded as her eyes hit the mud slaked over the hems of Rukia's hakama, and as her gaze traveled upward she was clearly not pleased.

Yuu looked up, smiling. "You look like you need a nice relaxing soak, Rukia-san! Would you like me to warm up a bath?"

Rukia's face burned. She flashed Yuu a warning look that said drop it. But apparently Yuu took it to mean something else, because she gasped. "Oh! Don't worry—I wouldn't offer something of Kuchiki-sama without his permission." Then Yuu turned to him with an imploring look on her face. "Kuchiki-sama, sir? Would you mind if Rukia-san bathed in your quarters?"

Rukia nearly facepalmed.

For the first time since the bath, Nii-sama looked at her. She glared at the floor, cursing Yuu for her ineptitude. If she wasn't cherry faced before, she was now. And Nii-sama was looking right at it.

Then his eyes moved away.

"I will be going to division headquarters," he replied flatly, gaze elsewhere. "Do as you wish."

"There you go!" Yuu chirped, bouncing into a bow. "Thank you, Kuchiki-sama! Your generosity is never in vain! Rukia-san will be prettier than a pocketful of daisies when I'm done, I promise!"

Before Rukia could object, she was dragged off to Nii-sama's bedroom as he looked on in silence.