Chapter 3 (control)
Yuri watched a spot of sunlight that had filtered through the trees outside the office dance on the desk. He had stayed up all night when the pain had woken him and stolen his breath. The panic had pumped his adrenaline causing him to be unable to fall back asleep, so he came to the office to complete the work he'd be doing that very day.
With some time left before Conrad would bring him breakfast (and come examine him) Yuri stood and made his way down the hall. He would take some time in the fresh air. Over the last few days the pain had gotten worse and he found that when he was outside, everything felt fresher, and less constricting. And with the work all done, I should be able to spend the rest of the day outside…
He took his first step outside and inhaled deeply. Feeling the crushing weariness that always seemed present ease with the sunlight washing over him motivated him into walking around the courtyard. He found a quiet spot at the corner where a fruit tree grew and sat in the shade under its leafy branches. He felt his eyes slide closed and let himself slump, hoping he'd get some sleep.
{Yuri realized the dream for what it was but still couldn't help the guilt that swirled in his heart. He couldn't help the bile that rose in his throat at the sight of both worlds, overlapping and completely decimated from war. The broken bodies of friends, family, classmates, acquaintances...they all were recognized and their wounds catalogued in his mind. Their faces were all turned towards Yuri and their eyes were wide open and blank, like broken dolls looking at the person who threw them away.
He wandered in the dream, just like he always did. First into Shin Makoku, then into Japan, only to return again, looking for someone.
He wandered past the broken bodies of his mom and dad, past the bloodied Conrad, and finally past a nearly unrecognizable Murata. He kept wandering, kept searching, unable to stop his dreams movements.
Yuri knew what was coming next, but still, when he turned and saw the blond hair bloodied and the green eyes, glazed, his heart stuttered in his chest. His eyes teared and he felt a scream lodge in his throat. He stumbled towards the blond.
"Wolf?"
"Yuri?" Wolfram's eyes turned to stare at him. "Yuri?"
Yuri stumbled away. This hadn't happened before and he found himself struggling to remain calm. "It's just a dream, It's just a dream, It's just a dream…"
As he chanted repeatedly the Wolfram on the ground started yelling his name. Yuri stumbled up and back-}
Strong, hot hands grabbed his shoulders as he jolted out of his dream. He looked up into green eyes filled with worry and fear. The same eyes that just stared dully at him from a bloody face. Sunlight glinted off his shining golden locks. The same golden hair had been stained and matted with blood not just seconds ago. He trembled and gripped onto the front of the blue military jacket Wolfram always wore. "Wolf?"
"Are you okay Yuri?" His quiet voice held concern and shook a bit at his name. His hot hands rubbed up and down Yuri's back in comfort.
Wolf continued to give comfort to the obviously shaken Yuri, his eyes tracking to their surroundings to make sure nothing threatened his fiancee. When nothing caught his gaze he returned his full attention back to the double black. Yuri still huddled on the ground so Wolf picked him up and carried him inside. Their destination was their room.
Walking with Yuri in his arms should have flustered him but his concern overrode his embarrassment and resentment at the people who caught sight of them. Wolfram walked into their bedchamber and quickly slammed the door with his foot, the wince it earned from Yuri made Wolf flinch in guilt. He gently laid Yuri on the bed, moving to his head to gently massage circles into his neck in hopes of easing the headache he'd been told about.
After several long, silent moments, Yuri started to relax under Wolf's ministrations. His eyes fluttered open and Wolfram used this time to study Yuri. His face was pale, and much thinner than before. His black eyes were glazed, and unfocused. His breath trembled in and out as he breathed slowly.
"Yuri, form a link with me." Wolf whispered quietly. He wouldn't tell Yuri, but he had wanted the link between them before he left on the mission. He wanted to be able to sense when something was wrong with him.
Yuri looked slightly surprised. "Wolf...I asked Gisela...about the link." Wolf frowned at both the words and the fact that Yuri panted lightly as he spoke. "She said there'd...be no way...to break it. Only...to block."
"I know that!" Yuri winced again, Wolf felt a wave of guilt. He continued in a whisper yell "I KNOW THAT YURI...I still want to form a link with you. You're my fiancee, I need to know you're safe, I need to be able to help you when I can...I need...to be able to sense you…"
Yuri whimpered "I...c-can't."
"What?"
"You'll feel...my pain...I can't…" Yuri's panting increased as he writhed slightly on the bed. He rubbed his cold forehead against Wolf's arm. "I don't...want to...hurt you."
Wolf felt tears well up in his eyes. He leaned down and did what he would never do in public; he gently laid his lips on Yuri's. "Yuri...can't you understand?" Wolf murmured quietly, "I don't want to see you in pain either…please."
Yuri closed his eyes and forced his breathing to slow. "I can't control anything right now. Not my powers...not my feelings...not my physical reactions...I have...no control."
"You'll regain control. Of everything, Yuri." Wolf touched his nose to his fiancee's "and I can help."
Yuri stayed silent and unmoving for a moment. He then reached up with his one hand and laid it over Wolfram's heart and moved the other up to the pulse point in his neck. Wolfram's eyes widened for a moment before he mirrored Yuri's.
Wolfram leaned down over Yuri for a better connection. Feeling Yuri's heartbeat and breath, hitched his own. "Are you ready?" Yuri took a steadying breath at Wolf's whispered question and nodded.
They both pushed their magic and reached their consciousness out towards the other. Yuri began to tremble from the strain of reaching for magic that was out of his reach, but Wolf felt it and compensated by mentally reaching deeper. If he had to be the one to sustain the link, then so be it. He would do anything for Yuri.
As the link started to form Wolf's breath hitched for an entirely different reason. He'd just felt a sliver of the pain Yuri was feeling. They needed to hurry to complete it. They needed their strength and concentration to complete a solid link that was going to last.
Time passed slowly for them as they wove their magic together to form a mental link that would allow them to sense the other. Both of their breathing hitching at times, from both pleasure and pain. When the last strand of magic was placed they felt the pull of each other.
Opening his eyes, Wolf looked down into the pale face of his fiancee. He felt his heartbeat flutter the same time he saw a grimace form on Yuri's face. A ripple of pain sang through his body and he tensed as he held Yuri closer. Wolf went back to rubbing soothing strokes down Yuri's back. He felt Yuri shiver, then slight embarrassment when he felt the slight arousal from the motion. Is this what Yuri meant when he said he had no control?
He didn't know how they managed to fall asleep tangled up with each other but the pain robbing his breath right now was not a pleasant wake up call. He quickly and clumsily extricated himself from Wolfram's arms and hurried to the balcony. A moment later he was tumbling out onto the cold terrace floor with Wolfram coming up behind him. Yuri clutched at his chest as the pain ripped through him. Wolf crouched down behind him and hugged him to his chest. He didn't say anything but held him and rubbed his back with his hot hands. Slowly, the pain started to ease until it was all but gone.
