"Dad. Dad. Dad. I dare you to fight Pap."

"...Stop tempting me," Sans scolded, trying not to grin. "No. I'm not- I mean, it's an idea, but I'm probably not gonna go through with it- Oh my god...the fun that could be had, though..."

"Okay. I double dog dare you." Frisk was grinning at him, bending backwards from where she was in Toriel's arms.

"You know what? I'll take that bet." Sans was pushing her up gently, so her head was once again leaning against Toriel's chest. "And stop that, you're going to hurt yourself. Tiny five-year-old body, in case you forgot." Frisk only did it again, sticking her tongue out at him. "Fine. Get headrush and then faint. I'll be there to take pictures and laugh."

"Mooom, Dad's trying to get me sick."

"Toooori, Frisk is being a brat."

"Yeah, but he started it."

"You literally started it all."

"That's a lie. You were alive first. So you started it."

"That's a lie. You did the Run. So you started it."

"Yeah, but you were literally alive first."

"Technically, I'm a skeleton, so I was never alive."

"Technically, you're not though, cause skeletons are nothing BUT bone. You're bone and magic."

"You literally stole that off of Mettaton's quiz show, but just switched it." Sans poked at her side, knowing her weakest tickle spot after many years of being ruthless and vicious. "You cheat." Frisk immediately giggled, curling up to try and defend herself from the attacks. Which was pretty useless, but it should be given credit that she at least tried. "Admit defeat, tiny child."

"Ne- N- Ahahahahah!" The girl was squealing with laughter, Toriel only rolling her eyes and looking fondly amused.

"Children," she softly chided. Sans only let up a little, giving a shrug as he grinned.

"I am not a children. I am a fully grown and mature monster, thank you very much." Frisk, calming down a bit, licked her hand and then wiped it on Sans' cheek, laughing at him. "...What point does that even prove?" Sans didn't even seem bothered as he scrubbed at his cheek, wiping the spit away. "Don't forget you used to take naps on me and drool. A lot."

"You were the one that always drooled."

"Lies and slander. I never, not once, drooled." Sans tsked, flicking lightly at at Frisk.

"You drool," Toriel confirmed.

"...Tori. How could you betray me like this- How do you know if I drool?"

"...I don't know, to be honest."

"Then it can be said that you're unsure, and since I'm the only liable account, it's decided that I don't drool."

"I'm liable," Frisk defended.

"No, you're lieable, because I don't snore."

"We were talking about drooling, but yeah, you snore, too." A sudden pause, Sans looking confused before running over the words he had said.

"...W...Wait..." He needed to stop getting distracted when speaking because that happened. "Okay, so, I can definitely get off-track, but I do not drool. But yes, I do snore."

"Do t- Hi, Pap-Pap!" Aww, she almost forgot she called him that! Sans was trying not to coo in adoration because adorable. Papyrus also seemed slightly startled and emotional, and, yup, scooping her up into a hug.

"Hello, strangely familiar human child!" Frisk leaned up, kissing Papyrus' cheek with a tiny giggle, looking completely at ease. Papyrus looked slightly startled, looking from Frisk, to Sans, and then back. "...Sans. Why do I wish to keep and protect his tiny human child?"

"I dunno, bro. Maybe she's secretly a monster pretending to be a human and you're sensing it where you're just so great."

"Yeah, I'm a monster. I'm his daughter from a different point in time space." She paused. "Both of theirs." Papyrus looked from her, to Sans, to her, to Sans, to her, and then to Sans. Sans only gave him a brilliant grin.

"...I'm an uncle." The tone was rather teary and full of awe. Toriel only looked amused, raising an eyebrow.

Frisk was looking up at the two, and if she had a tail, it'd be wagging. "This is good."

"Sans! Why did you never tell me you had a daughter?!"

"...That's a good question," Sans mused, looking unconcerned as he easily bypassed the puzzle that was supposed to be the multiple tiles. "Eh, best not to linger on the past. Also, we're watching her tonight before we set off in the morning. I wish to make you suffer, so this time you're coming with."

"Pap-Pap gets to come with?!" Oh she loved being a tiny child so much. "And yeah, I'm still human."

"But, if you are human, small niece, how are you Sans' daughter- Sans?! Did you have a child out of wedlock with a human?!" Frisk was suddenly taken from Papyrus' arms, who was suddenly dunked into a snowbank with blue magic.

"Nah. Sorta adopted, but still mine." Sans happily headed to Snowdin, cuddling his cute tiny little daughter.

"...Get dunked on."

"See? Mine."

::

While Frisk ran around the living room, she may have crashed into the couch. And stubbed her pinkie toe. Which was why she was now sitting on the ground, clutching her foot and cursing like a sailor. While Papyrus and Toriel looked on in horror, Sans only plucked Frisk up and set her on the couch.

"Okay, I know for a fact I didn't teach you half of those." A long moment of silence. "I'm impressed-"

"SANS! OH MY GOD! HOW COULD YOU TEACH HER SUCH FILTHY WORDS?!"

"Hey, I only taught half of 'em, the others she probably learned when at college."

"Fucking son of a bitching tit." Frisk was curled up on the couch, looking extremely like she didn't want to be there.

"SANS!"

"What? She said it, not me. 'Sides, I taught her when she was twenty. Last timeline."

"Dad taught it to me."

"That's a lie and you know it, young lady."

"Okay, fine, you taught me 'shit-faced bitch balls,'" she shot back, looking proud of herself as she glanced to Toriel. If she was going down, so was he.

"Yup. That one was me," Sans nodded, still watching television while not even glancing at Toriel and Papyrus. He knew he was dead. "Ya know, you can Load and save us both the pain that's about to come."

"I know."

"Evil child."

"Come, brother! We must wash your mouth out with soap!" Papyrus huffed as he snatched Sans by the shirt, dragging him towards the bathroom.

"...Yeah. Alright." Would at least make a funny story to tell Gaster.

"We must scrub the filth from your tongue!"

"Mmkay."

"Bath included."

"Oh god no I'm so sorry please I'm sorry I swear I'll never teach her anymore swears." Sans was already trying to escape and/or teleport with his powers, Papyrus keeping him pinned with his own.

Frisk only looked to Toriel, blinking innocently and leaning against her. "I promise to do my best to not say that kind of stuff again until I'm sixteen."

"...Fine." Toriel flicked the television off and grabbed the nearby book, settling back with a quiet hum.

"...Mom?"

"No television for the rest of the night."

"...That's fair." From upstairs, there could be heard panicked screeching of the damned. "So, are you gonna help Dad?"

"Hm...no. I believe I will let Papyrus handle Sans, for his punishment." The wicked gleam in Toriel's eyes showed she knew exactly what fate she was abandoning him to. "Retribution."

"Mmkay." Frisk shifted and crawled until she was happily curled up in Toriel's lap, giving the book a small glance before settling down and letting her eyes close. Toriel only gently rubbed at her scalp, happily settling down with Frisk, her book, and the wonderful revenge that Papyrus was getting on Sans.

Teach her child to swear, would he... "Love you, Mommy."

"I love you too, my child." And, yes...the simple familiarity of this scene... It filled her with DETERMINATION to make sure there were more like it in the future.

And she had a very good feeling there would be.