I like Nick.

The thought clouded her mind the next afternoon as she scrunched up on the sofa with the guys, pretending to be interested in the game. Beer cans were strewn all over the living room and the game was heating up. All a sudden, their team won, which resulted in an excited scream from Schmidt and Winston. They cussed, screamed, jumped off the wall (Spiderman style, Schmidt explained) and bro-fisted. Nick just grinned and looked at them like the idiots they were.

And Jess liked that about him: the way his head stayed on the ground, the way he was able to stay on the surface. Jess liked the way he rolled his eyes and cussed quietly and grumpily shuffled to his room. She liked him. She liked Nick.

Nick was her exact opposite: grumpy and calm. He balanced her out, almost perfectly. All a sudden, it came clear to her: butt-shaking arguments. Dried tears in the shower. Wine shared in the middle of the night. It had been so obvious to her all along, and yet she had refused to acknowledge it until now. She refused to truly admit it to herself. But now, as she crept quietly to her room, her feet barely meeting the ground, it hit her so hard she almost fell: she liked him. Maybe, someday, could even love him.

But then again, she almost started crying. She remembered the words she heard in the shower. "We're nothing more," Nick had said. Nothing more. Jess was his buddy. Jess was sort of like another bro, a bro who rocked a lot of polka-dots and had checks with baby farm animals on them. Her heart almost ripped open, and she sat on her carpet in order to calm herself. No wonder she had been crying! Why didn't it hit her there and then? But Jess wasn't the type to jump into anything: she gradually figured her feelings out, slowly removed the Band-Aid and suddenly all at once ripped it off in one obvious, painful moment. So Cece had been off. The roles were reversed. Jess had been the one head over heels, and Nick was just the one who had no idea. Suddenly, everything seemed different.

"I'll just get over it," Jess softly told herself. But this felt different. Nick wasn't just any other guy. Nick got her… he was her Matthau. Jess rolled her eyes as she thought back to Cece's words. Then again, this was no surprise. Cece was always right, wasn't she? And Jess was always the last one to figure things out.

Somewhere in her gut, Jess knew Nick was the one. She would never feel this way again. And she needed to tell him. She needed to come clean, because she couldn't turn away, not this time. And if he was disgusted and turned her away, she had a model friend that would let her live with her in a heartbeat. With Nick, it was worth risking her whole life just for the slim chance of being with him. She knew that. This wasn't just a silly crush. This was important.

This time, she wouldn't chicken out.

Quickly, she threw on a pair of pajamas (pajama outfit… she rolled her eyes). She put her hair in a ponytail and tucked the stray tendrils behind her ear, biting her lip. At last minute, she put on a fluffy pair of slippers and crept out of her room, slowly shutting the door behind her. Schmidt and Winston were still lounging in the living room, so she went the long way to Nick's room, not wanting her roommates to assume anything was up. She also knew if her roommates caught her she would use it as an excuse to put herself off the hook.

Rip the Band-Aid off, she thought.

She found herself outside his door, shuffling her feet, biting her lip, smoothing down her pajamas. Finally, she gathered her courage and knocked.

"Come in," he said, gruffly. Her feet locked with carpet, and all a sudden she felt sick to her stomach. Move, Jess, she tried to command to herself. Move. But she stayed frozen in place, and she was almost positive her heart stopped beating.

"Hello… is that you, Jess?"

Sighing, Jess let herself in, her cheeks flushed, and found him on the edge of his bed reading a book. She quietly closed the door behind her and crossed her arms across her chest, hoping he couldn't hear the high volume of her heart hammering in her chest. What was she going to say?

"What's up, Jess?" he said, impatiently, staring at her with focused eyes. Heat, that's what she felt. She was going to start crying. She couldn't lose him. But she knew deep inside, it was worth the risk. Maybe she could play it off as a joke if he said no.

"I… you're busy. We can talk another time," she said, turning away from him, and putting her hand on the knob of the door.

"Jess."

I can't do this, Jess thought. I can't. I love living with these guys. I might ruin everything for everyone. I'm being unfair.

She turned so she was facing him. "Yes?"

"Just tell me."

It was easy for him to stay. Still, she forced herself to turn around and look into his eyes, which seemed to be a different shade than the day before. He patted the space on the bed next to him, which easily made Jess blush and almost trip as she approached him. Her breath hitched and she forced herself to keep steady eye contact as she began to try to tell him how she felt.

"So… Nicholas," she said.

"So, Jess," he replied, blunt. This was not going to be easy.

"Um, so… have you ever heard of the game truth or dare?"

Nick rolled his eyes. "Of course, Jess."

She fidgeted with her fingers. She was not being as coy as she thought she would be in her head. Still, she tried to keep on with her current tactic, because it was probably the least embarrassing. "Um, so, I was playing with Cece… and she, um, dared me to…"

He smiled at her stuttering words. "She dared you to what, Jess? Steal a car? Burn down the loft? Steal Schmidt's sculpting chutney?"

She rolled her eyes at that last one and laughed before she could stop herself. What if he said no? What if things were never this easy between them again?

I want passion. Even if it's harder and it hurts more.

She grinned and bit her lip. "Not exactly," she said. "If that were it, why would I be in you room? Plus, that would be an impossible dare. Schmidt keeps his chutney under heavy guard. I'd bet you $20 he has some sort of camera."

The sound of his laughter pushed her forward, so she opened her mouth and tried to keep her words steady and to the point. "Cece, um, dared me to ask you something."

"And what was that Jess?"

He smelled of Old Spice, like usual. His hair was rumpled, like usual. Stubble covered his chin, like usual. He was making things difficult for her, like usual. His smile mirrored hers and all of a sudden, she thought, he doesn't like me back, he's never going to like me back, and I'm ruining everything. I don't want to live without Nick. What am I doing?

That was when she started crying.

Her lips trembled and her shoulders shook and tears spilled over in painful swiftness as she stopped trying to pull herself together. It was no use. Nick rubbed her tears away with this thumbs and put his hand on the small of her back. He let her lean onto his shoulder, and she welcomed his affections, because this was the last time he would offer them, anyway. She knew he hated seeing her in pain, but still, that did nothing to calm her.

"Jess… do you want some tea?"

She couldn't help but give a small smile. "Don't I always want tea?"

He laughed. "Breakfast, lunch, and dinner," he said. Her heart ached as he lifted himself up. "I'll be back in a few minutes, okay?"

She nodded and stared at his retreating figure. She had an overwhelming desire to lie down, but with her and Nick's current circumstances it just seemed wrong, to lie down on his bed when he didn't even feel the same way. So she forced herself to sit up and listen to the sounds of movement in the kitchen.

When Nick returned, he found Jess sleeping on his floor, rolled up in a ball. He placed the tea on the table and lifted her in his arms, and carried her to her room, ignoring the glances given by Schmidt and Winston. When he steadily put her body on the sheets and tucked her underneath the blankets, her eyes opened a little.

"Nick," she mumbled, sounding weak and quiet. "Nick, I wanted, I wanted to… to tell you…"

He softly stroked her cheek. "There's always tomorrow," he told her, concern showing in his voice. By the time he reached the door, she was snoring soundly. Knowing she was okay, he gave her one last glance and shut the door behind him.