A/N: Third Chapter…I like this one [:

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter. It belongs to J.K Rowling… --My Hero 3


It was just less that a month on from when Remus had Shouted at Tonks, and the full moon was approaching. Tonks tried not to worry, she really really does. She had kept her distance from him since the kiss. Okay. So it wasn't a full on kiss. But it meant something special to her, and she was sure it meant nothing to him. Nothing. Or he would have talked to her about it. He obviously wanted that awkward moment forgotten.

This is the reason that every night, Tonks waits until everyone is asleep, she closes her bedroom door and weeps. Crys her heart out. She has never felt anything towards anyone else before. Everyone had thought she was a freak, because Metamorphagus's were rare when Tonks was at school. She was bullied all her life, even at the Ministry of Magic, because she was so clumsy. That was untill she met Alastor 'Mad-eye' Moody, because He led her to Remus John Lupin. She used to Hate Remus. He was shy, quiet. And an exceptional Wizard. He was intelligent, young, and quite attractive. But he never spoke to Tonks. Or noticed Her. Or even looked at her. She tried so hard to be noticed in the order, maybe too hard. But in the end she finally accepted that the only way she could get noticed is to either fall over, or seriously hurt herself.

Like she found out within her first month of working with the order.

Her, Remus and Moody were assigned to a mission when Voldemort was 'alive'. A Wizard was selling Dark objects to muggles, and it was Tonks, Lupins and Moody's job to catch him in the act. They acted as muggles, muggles interested in a vase. Tonks had the time of her life, sharing a room with Remus Lupin. Yes, Okay, Mad-Eye was there aswell. On the last day of the mission, the accused Wizard offended Tonks and her Hair colour changed. Mad-Eye and Remus didn't notice this, but the accused wizard did. He dissarmed Her and then performed the Crucio Curse on her. It was awful. She just sat there screaming in pain until Remus Lupin came to her rescue. He disarmed the accused wizard and the next thing Tonks could remember was her lying in bed with Remus leaning over her. But as soon as she awoke Remus sat up. Over the next few weeks after that, they were back to normal.

She hates Remus. So much that she loves him. Love And Hate are so close together. But that kiss, brought back the painful memory of having Remus lean over her. But she needed to focus on now, was Remus's transformation. She was scared. She always had been. Since the day Fenir Greyback had nearly attacked her Mother. She knew how awful werewolves are. Once they transformed, they were not themselves anymore. She had never seen Remus transform, but she knew it would break her heart to. She loved him through and through, but she is not sure she would love his transformation. And to love someone you would have to love every part of them, she would hate herself.

Every full moon Remus would be locked up inside the cellar of number 12 Grimmauld place. Tonks uses all her love and energy for Remus not to go down there and see him. Mad-Eye Knows this, he trys to hide the date of the full moon from her. But it usually slips out some how. So once a month she goes through pain which no-one can imagine. Every month she thinks to herself: 'Just go Tonks. You will still love him. No matter what.'

Shes too scared. Too scared. Too scared to love him for what he is.


A/N: This chapter may be a little bit boring, but means alot. Please Review [: