I was sailing in the ocean with an amazing mini skirt and blue heels looking in a big binocular.
Suddenly I was pushed by someone.

"Anna?" a high pitched voice said. Another push. I fell from my heels and hit my butt. I tried to see who pushed me but no one was there.

"Anna?" she said again. I opened my eyes and saw one of the flight attendant looking at me, holding my shoulders her face was a few inches from my face. Her eyes were big. My heart skipped a beat and a little scream left my mouth. She let go of my shoulder and stood straight.

"God! I thought you fainted or something" she said, "anyway, I was told that the airport is packed." Her voice was so annoying. She was worse than my alarm clock. Then I focused on what she told me.

"How many people?" I asked her. Of course people were waiting for me. It happens every time. It doesn't even matter if we keep it a secret, people always find out about it.

"At least 500 people are waiting for you" she informed me. It made me feel better, knowing that my fans are with me no matter what.

"The workers at the airport will take care of you so don't worry" she said smiling, looking satisfied with herself. I knew how it was going to be. I am going to get out of the plane, people are going to ogle at me, some of them are going to scream, and then the airport workers are going to grab me and lead me through the hallway. Bob is going to be in front of me and Dylan (my other bodyguard) is going to be in the back. After a few hours people will talk about the outfit that I wore during my flight, and whether it was hot or not. This is how things go.

I went to the bathroom, with my carryon bag. I applied a new coat of my lipstick, mascara and eyeliner. I straightened my dress and put on dangly earrings and a necklace. I always need to look my best. Once I came back to my seat I brushed my hair and put it in a twisted side bun. I looked stunning. My dark circles under my eyes were covered with a thick layer of concealer, and my pale lips were disguised with a rich MAC lipstick.

After 30 minutes the captain announced we were landing. A quick look outside the window informed me that the green color was mixed with the big skyscrapers of Seattle. My stomach was grumbling and I could almost hear it yell at me to eat. Although the food that was served looked palatable enough I didn't eat anything, because the tight leather belt tied around my waist reminded me it doesn't look good with puffy tummy. I only ate the fresh vegetables they served.

My thoughts drifted away to my home.

I never had friends, mostly because I didn't have time and they only wanted me for my fame. It never bothered me, mostly because I didn't have time to think about it. I have had boyfriends before but it didn't last more than 3 month. Some of them were too clingy, and some of them were too boring. All of them though were handsome and at least 2 years older than me. Every time I had a boyfriend I believed within all my heart I was in love with them, but sadly enough, right now I can say I was never in love or even liked any of them and I can say that neither did them. They were just fascinated with my beauty, fame and money. They never knew me. The real me. I never opened up to anyone other than my parents, and my grandma. However I am not sorry I never opened up to anyone, since only the best people deserve to get to know me. Only people who can see beyond the materialism deserve to even talk to me. Sadly there are only a few people out there who do.

The walk out of the airport was fast without any interruption. I walked with at least five bodyguards surrounding me. It was quite a challenge not to stomp on their back foot. I could see a lot of people staring which made me walk a little straighter. We couldn't go to the main exit for obvious reasons, so they took me to the "secret" exit of the airport. I knew that my fans are going to be disappointed but I couldn't take the risk of getting crushed by five hundred fanatic fans.

Bob opened a gray door and a big parking lot appeared in front of us. I assumed it was the workers parking lot. I could see my aunt and her family waiting for me. The 3 bodyguards left and I Bob and Dylan continued walking until we reached them. Marry was the first one to hug me.

She was, of course shorter than me, her head reaching my shoulders. She smelled like the Versace Light Crystal perfume. Sour yet sweet and flowery.

"Anna! We missed you so much! We are so excited you are moving with us!" she said cheerfully. I couldn't help but smile. She was such a loveable, energetic person. Her eyes were sunken in and her eyebrows were thick and arched. She had brown hair and tanned skin, like most of the residents at the Reservation. I could definitely tell she was my dad sister.

Then Ava my 13 years old cousin hugged me, she was tiny, barley reaching my chest, her delicate slender arms surrounding my waist. The summer of 2008 came to me all at once, and I remembered how we used to play tag in their back yard. It was about three month before I was told I received the part in Disney channel.

"Ava! You grew up so much! How are you?" I asked her, her subtle appearance made my voice soft and gentle. I haven't seen her since my big sweet sixteen birthday party, and in that night I was so busy with handling the party I don't remember a lot of the guests that arrived. The only proof I met people is in my birthday album. The only thing I remember clearly is my three dresses that I changed throughout the night.

Tom, my 18 years old cousin hugged me without saying a word, looking embarrassed. He was the shy, quite boy in the group. He was tall and had light muscle, which probably meant he was a good athlete. Mary's husband, Richard was the CEO of a Hilton hotel in Seattle so he came back only once in two weeks.

We chatted for a bit, and I texted my parents I arrived safely. Bob and Dylan said their goodbyes and left. Tom loaded the baggage in the back of their Chevy's truck, and we took off from the airport.

Everything was green and undeniably pretty. The sun was covered with big dark gray clouds and once we drove outside of Seattle, it started to rain. Where are some thorny yellow fields? It was the beginning of September for God sake. It isn't supposed to rain until December. What is the point in living in a city beach, where you can't even go to the beach In September? Can someone explain it to me? It doesn't make any sense to me. Tears started to well up in my throat and I fought the urge to cry. I couldn't imagine my life without doing what I love. I couldn't even remember what my life has been before. It's like walking in the complete dark in an unknown path, scouting for my light.

Mary rambled the entire drive of how excited she was, about work, dinner and more unimportant things. Ava announced her full exams schedule for the next week, which led Mary to the next subject.

"Oh god! I forgot to tell you! You are going to school on Monday" she declared excitingly.

This is new. No one told me about it. The only thing I remember from school was that I sat in class, bored out of my mind fighting the need to sleep. This should be interesting. I wondered if the boys could stay focused while I was in the room. Probably not. Maybe I can come with my killer shorts and count how many horny boys winks at me in one day. I suddenly enjoyed the idea of going to school.

"Oh really, this should be interesting" I said in a mysterious voice. I noticed the tears disappeared from my throat. God, I only think about boys and suddenly everything is better. What is wrong with me?

After two hours of driving Mary stopped at the gas station, and we all wanted to stop at Starbucks to freshen up. I decided to change up from my fancy dress to a casual sweatshirt, loose jeans and Adidas snickers. I put my sunglasses and the hood of the sweatshirt on my head, and got into Starbucks. Everyone was already sitting around a table, laughing at something. It was the perfect family picture.

Sometimes I wish my family was more united, and that my sisters who live in Milano and Paris will come more often. It was hard not to be jealous with my dad's sister family, that even though their father is always out, they stay united and together. I sat with them, and Mary told me they ordered me a Cinnamon Dolce Crème Frappuccino. Around 350 calories. I could live with it, plus I didn't eat anything all day. I was lucky enough that we were the only costumers in the coffee shop, so no one noticed me.

We enjoyed our coffee and discussed about random things that came to mind. I felt comfortable around them and didn't feel the need to fake it, like I usually do with my mom's family. After 30 minutes we all got the car and started to drive again.

This time everyone was quite, drifting in their own thoughts. It was already six pm, and I was emotionally and physically tired. I quickly fell asleep.

When I woke up we were driving through the tiny Reservation. The streets didn't have pavements; the road looked old with a lot of small bumps and holes that hardened the drive. Between each house there were unkempt lawns. The utility poles were messed and very noticeable. Overall it looked pretty poor neighborhood.

I remembered how we used to run all around the Reservation and how Richard took us fishing and hiking when I came here as a little girl. It was always so much fun. I was sure that if I didn't have good memories from here I would have been deterrent from this place.

Mary quickly parked the car in their improvised driveway and we all got out of the car. Their house was pretty big compared to the other houses around. Tom took all of my baggage out. I noticed their neighbor is attaching his boat to his truck. He was young and shirtless. From 50 meters distance I could he was hot. He eyed me carefully, probably wondering who is this boy or girl since I wore my baggy sweatshirt and lose jeans.

"His name's Embry. He is kind of weird; he is hanging out with his stoned friends, and he grew up a foot in less than a month. They have this gang when they call themselves the Protectors; it's pretty pathetic if you ask me, since they all they are doing is drugs" Ava told me, after she saw me looking at him.

Maybe his weird but he is defiantly hot.

Everyone grabbed a suitcase and we all entered the house. The house was warm and cozy. The living room was right in front the door. On the left side there were stairways and on the right side there was the kitchen. Pictures covered the peachy colored walls and the house smelled like maple. It was definitely a cute house.

Mary showed me my room and Tom helped carry the suitcases to the second floor. The room was way smaller than my room back home and I was in a serious doubt all of my clothes and shoes will fit in the average sized closet. There was a bookshelf a desk and a nightstand. The walls were painted in an orangey color and the curtains were creamy white. It was a nice room and I was happy with it.

Finally I was alone for the first time today, and all of the tears that wanted to escape finally got the chance to get out of my system. I cried while I unpacked my suitcases and put everything in the closet. It was completely full but I could handle it. I put all of my shoes in a neat line, when I was done it was already eleven pm, and then I heard a knock on my door. I whipped the tears and looked in the mirror. I looked fine without any flaw. Thank god for waterproof mascaras. It was Tom wearing nice clothes. He looked embarrassed and I wondered if there was time when he didn't look awkward. I don't think there is.

"Umm Ana, there is a party tonight... Do you want to come?" he asked.

Hmm. A party. I loved to party, it was always so much fun, but usually I went to parties where everyone was celebrities so no one really cared about it. I also know that everyone will know by tomorrow where I am if I will go to a party. On the other hand, I didn't hook up with any boy for the three weeks which started to make me nervous. I really feel like I need it. Lately everything has been so stressful, and I really think I could use a good party.

"You know what? I think I will come. Just wait for me a few minutes" I answered him, the excitement starting to kick my adrenaline. I quickly applied my makeup and put a little black Versace dress with nude pumps. I know that everyone is going to freak when they see me, and that my mom is going to kill me for going there without a bodyguard. Whatever, I only live once. I applied some mousse in my which made it puffier. I sprayed some Miss Dior Cherrie perfume.

Tom was waiting for me by the door. I didn't think he was a party person actually. It was kind of weird. Mary and Ava were sleeping on the couches while a movie was playing.

We got in the truck and started driving.

"We are going to stop at my girlfriend house, okay?" he asked. Wow he has a girlfriend. Never in a million years would I have thought that.

"Why are you even asking for my permission, of course we would stop there" I answered. "Wait, do you want me to move to the backseat?" I asked him back.

"Oh no that's ok..." he said awkwardly. God, how he survived the first date with his awkwardness?

After two minutes we stopped at a yellow house driveway and a girl with a floral dress and flats was running to our car. She sat in backseat after she realized someone was sitting in the passenger seat.

The car was filled with sweet florally scent once she got in, and Tom turned around kissed her.

"Hey babe" she said with a bass voice. "Who are you?" she asked me with no shame.

I turned around and saw her face turn into shock; her jaw almost knocked the floor.

"I am his cousin, what's your name?" I said in a sweet fake voice.

"I a-am Rachel" she stuttered, "honey, you didn't tell me Anna Marin was your cousin" she said, with an "I am going to talk to you later about it" voice.

"Actually, I asked him not to tell him about it" I said before he could respond.

The rest of the ride went silence. She tried to asked me a question, but I pretended I fell asleep. After half an hour we finally reached the party. I heard the music blasting before I even got out of the car. I got out of the car and saw Rachel checking my outfit. She looked ridicules next to me. Tom slide his arm around her and they went inside the house. The music made my adrenaline move fast through my veins and I wanted to dance till I die. I went to door and counted to three.

One...Two...Three. I opened the door, the music pierced my ears. Everyone was dancing and making out. Just like a regular party but with cheap alcohol. People started to stare at me and move out of my way as I started to walk. I was in the middle of the living room and then someone stopped the music. Everyone stopped dancing and looked at me, waiting for me to talk. I look at them for couple more second.

"Let's get this party started!" I shouted, yanking a cup from someone, who looked amazed I even touched his drink. I drank it all and felt the burning in my throat. It was vodka mixed with something. The music was back on. And everyone started to dance around me, or should I say grinding my body. I shouted that someone brings me something to drink, and immediately five people obeyed like little pups. After an hour I was completely wasted and I needed to go to the bathroom. I don't think anyone noticed I was gone, because everyone was drunk out of their mind. I suddenly hit someone and almost fell to the floor. I raised my eyes up and saw it was the hot guy from earlier. I think his name was Eden or something like that. He was shirtless again. He of course stared at me. I couldn't stay focused on object for too long and I felt like I was about to pass out so I leaned against him. I don't remember what happened, but the next thing I remember that I was outside laying on grass. He looked at me warily.

"Are you okay?" he asked me.

"Oh yeah I am fine" I said getting up, fighting a headache. My dress was right below my ass, and he stared at my legs. I felt like it was time to make things move.

"Do you who I think you are?" he asked me.

"Yes babe I am" I answered moving the tips of my fingers up and down on my leg. He leant closer to me and I pushed my mouth on his mouth. The kissed turned into the aggressive side very quickly and he hovered over me. I put his right hand on my ass and left hand on my breast and he squeezed them lightly. After a few minutes I wanted to take his pants off but a warm hand stopped me.

"I can't do it" he said groaning. Wow that was a surprise. Every guy I was with wanted to screw me as soon as they saw me.
"Are you gay?" I asked quickly, fixing my dress, which got higher during the make out sash.

"No. I just can't take advantage of you like that" he said. Wow. I never met a guy that said that. Maybe he was gay in denial.

He said something likes "I will take you home" but I was already half sleeping. The next thing I knew was the morning.

Ahh! She arrived la push, and she already went to a party, and made out with Embry! Naughty girl ;)

Pls don't judge her, she is very confused.

Please, please, please review

Bye- bye