Ruth

The next couple of months went by fast as the band and I started practicing for the concert we were giving in Glen Oak.

Lizbeth was beginning to get excited about moving back home and painting and decorating her new room.

"Mommy?" she asked as she ran into the living room where I was strumming a couple of chords on my guitar.

"Yes sweetie?"

"May I choose two colors for my new room?"

"You may choose as many colors as you like" I replied as I placed the guitar on the table and Lizbeth came and sat on my lap.

"I'll misth you when you are gone"

"I'll miss you too sweetie, but we will talk to each other on the phone and Daddy will be home with you and I'll be back sooner than you think"

"Good" Lizbeth replied happily snuggling closer to me.

"There are my two favorite girls" Martin exclaimed as he walked into the room. He had his practice uniform on and it was filthy and spotted with mud and grass and who knew what else.

The thing about it was on any other guy it would look unattractive and plain sloppy, but Martin Brewer could wear a garbage bag and still be the epitome of hot. At least in my eyes.

"Daddy smells" Lizbeth cried out as she held her nose and said "yucky"

"Oh wonderful Ruthie" Martin exclaimed in mock anger.

"What?" I asked innocently.

"Another new word for our dear precocious daughter"

"Well yucky is a lot better than the words I was thinking" I replied teasingly as Martin blush a deep red before he swallowed nervously and ask "Do I even want to know what it is?"

"Hmm…" I said as I walked up to him "tempting, dirty, tasty…need I go on" I murmured as I stepped on my tiptoes and kissed him on the lips.

When I stepped back he grabbed my waist and kissed me again.

"Um…guys?" a new voice asked.

"Not now" we simultaneously replied before resuming familiarizing each other with the contours of our mouth.

"Will you at least wait until your daughter is out of the room" Lucy exclaimed exasperatedly as she took Lizbeth's hand and stated "Dinner is ready and we are waiting for you"

"Well" Martin said as we pulled apart "Save by Lucy"

"Yes wonderful" I agreed wryly as I kissed his cheek and said "You are definitely coming to the concert tonight, right?"

"Yes I will be there" Martin promised me as he said "I'll be down as soon I shower"

"Okay" I said smiling as I walked out the door.

Martin

Later that night, Kevin, Lucy, Annie and Eric and I went to the Glen Oak Theater where Ruth's band was playing. There was at least 2 hours to the show and it was already packed. Sam and David had decided they would stay home and baby sit the kids.

"So Martin, are you guys definitely going back tomorrow?" Lucy asked me.

"That's the plan, that way it gives us a week and a half together before she leaves to London and by then it will be Elizabeth's first week in kindergarten"

"I wish you would have stayed here" Annie said wistfully.

"I know" I replied feeling guilty but knowing in my heart that we needed to return "but it is for the best. I mean once Ruth is gone it will be harder for us to stay in a place where we were together for the past couple of months. It is going to be hard as it is when she leaves"

"I know honey" Annie said sympathetically rubbing my arm.

"Welcome Glen Oak and I hope you have a great time" We heard Ruth said as she stepped out on the stage. She looked great in black boots, jeans and white tank top and her hair was straight.

"She is so happy" Kevin whispered to me.

"What?" I asked surprised.

"Look at her, she is practically glowing"

As I looked at her closely, I could see that Kevin was right. Was she happy to be performing or was she happy because of Lizbeth and me?

"You did that to her" Kevin continued whispering.

"No…we..did..not do anything that would lead…"

"Martin please calm down, I'm not suggesting that. I meant you two are so right for one another"

"Oh right" I said sheepishly as I turned my attention to the stage once more as I noticed the lights go out and the music began playing

There's me
looking down at my shoes
the one smilingat the sun
that's you
what were you thinking
what was the song inside your head
There's us
going on about a band
working out how we play our hands
I lay there dreaming
later on alone on my bed

If I was stupid
maybe careless
so were you

Not everything is supposed to come true
some words are best unsaid
some love is not really love at all
I'll keep everything I shared with you
and that's enough
there's us

Freeze Frame
I'm not about to cry
it's too late for us to change
why try
I've got a camera
tucked away inside my heart

If I'm a loser
or just unlucky
so are you

Not everything is supposed to come true
some words are best unsaid
some love is not really love at all
I'll keep everything I shared with you
and that's enough
there's us

Somewhere between there and now
I looked away when you said
we'll never change

And if you think what might have been
you lose today
and we've got songs to play

Not everything is supposed to come true
some words are best unsaid
some love is not really love at all
I'll keep everything I shared with you
and that's enough
there's us

When the last few notes stopped playing everyone was silent before the applause began.

I looked over at Lucy and Annie who had tears in their eyes.

That song was pretty powerful and when I saw Ruth look our way I knew it was about us and the fact that this was goodbye, at least for now. The lyrics were a little troubling though. What did she mean that not everything is supposed to come true?

"Thanks" Ruth huskily said in the mike as she smiled at the crowd and said "this is me newest song that I wrote this morning. I hope you like it"

If I don't cry, do you think I don't feel?
If I look away
It doesn't mean I don't see
And just because I want, someone when I'm alone
Doesn't mean I'm helpless, and that I can't stand on my own
How far can we go before we break
How long can I wait

As I turned my head I saw everyone looking at me "What?" I irritably asked before turning my attention back to the stage.

How strong do you think I am
How much can I take of this
Am I a rock or a rose or a fist
Or the breath at the end of a kiss
How deep do you wanna go
Cause I'll go there if I can
You make it harder than it has to be
How strong, how strong
Do you think I am
Oh oh

It's so hard to tell
What's in your heart (what's in your heart)
What you keep to yourself
Is tearing me apart (is tearing me apart)
And should I be afraid
To dream about you (to dream about you)
And if you feel the same
What cha gonna do
How far can we go before we break
How long can I wait

How strong do you think I am
How much can I take of this
Am I a rock or a rose or a fist
Or the breath at the end of a kiss
How deep do you wanna go
Cause I'll go there if I can
You make it harder than it has to be
How strong, how strong
Do you think I am

The next thing I knew Ruth had gotten off the stage and was walking into the crowd.

As she came closer, my mouth suddenly felt dry. I couldn't believe that this beautiful woman wanted me, even more wanted to be with me. It took my breath away.

"Martin" Lucy hissed excitedly "meet her halfway."

"What if she is looking for someone else?" I answered back half embarrassed.

My palms started sweating as she reached our seat and the next thing I knew she was singing to me.

Oh
If I, move in any closer
If you let go and give yourself away

Ruth wickedly smile before stepping even closer into my personal space as she continued crooning.

And if we let this happen to us
everything will change

As she whispered the next words, I could hear some cheering around as grabbed my hand and pulled me back towards the stage.


How strong do you think I am
how much can I take of this
am me a rock or a rose or a fist?

Once we reached the front of the stage she turned towards me again and continued

Oh
how deep do you wanna go
Cause I'll go there if I can

And as she sang the next words she punctuated it by lightly jabbing her finger on my chest and as I saw her expression of love and longing and frustration, I felt guilty and horrible.

You make it harder than it has to be
How strong, how strong

Oh
How strong do you think I am
How much can I take of this
Am I a rock or a rose or a fist
Or the breath at the end of a kiss
How deep do you wanna go
Cause I'll go there if I can
You make it harder than it has to be
How strong, how strong
How strong, how strong
Do you think I am?

When the song ended, she dropped my hand and smiled slightly before addressing the audience.

"Let's give a warm thank you to Mr. Martin Brewer, Anaheim Angels Hottie" and the crowd went wild as a couple of girls nearby said "I told you that was him" and tried shouting out their numbers.

By the time I reached our seats, I must have looked at a dozen of different numbers being tossed at me.

"And you thought no one would recognize you" Kevin teased at me as I groaned and slid down my seat further.

"This next song I wrote for my niece and daughter, but also for all young women out there"

The chords of the song started and I smiled as Lucy jumped up to start dancing.

"Luce" Kevin implored "Sit down"

"This is our song!"

You think it's cool, just cuz they're telling you
You gotta have it, then you'll never miss it at all
You need the thrill, just coz it's killing you
You're so close, so don't take it too far

Where there's smoke you'll find a mirror
It's over-rated
I've watched it fade
So please don't give in
Don't forget what you believe in
It's over-rated
It's not worth chasing
Don't you know that
you'll love to love and then you'll hate it

Love and lost and everything between
its perfect, its poison that made me fall
you want it bad
don't want it to skip away
It's too fast
Gonna drag you down

Coming close now, not any clearer
with every breath you're going deeper
but I will pull you back to me

And this point the crowd roared when Ruth took the guitar and played the riff that Johnny had played at the game and when she was done she handed it back and was dancing once more laughing.

It's over-rated
It's not worth chasing
don't you know that
you'll love to love and then you'll hate it

"Okay folks this is our last song for the night. I hope you enjoyed it and I will see you again sometime soon!"

I feel chained, chained down
you shoved me to the ground
I can't run, I can't shout
Just let me out

So heartless, this couldn't mean less
gonna push it in your face
I'm only human
and I've got something to say

Let me rise, let me fall
Let me breathe
I wanna lose control, I'm not afraid to lose it all
Let me break, let me crawl
Cause I'll get back up again if you let me fall

If I burn down in this fire
Well, I got myself to blame
I can't stop or give it up
I need to feel the pain

Can you hear me?
Don't come near me
you'll just get in my way
I'm only human
and there's nothing you can say

Let me rise, let me fall
Let me breathe
I wanna lose control, I'm not afraid to lose it all
Let me break, let me crawl
Cause I will get up again if you let me fall

Say you know who I am
And what I'm about
Then you'll understand that I feel alone
I live my own life

Let me rise, let me fall
Let me breathe
I wanna lose control, I'm not afraid to lose it all
Let me break, let me crawl
Cause I will get up again if you let me fall

Yeah, yeah, yeah
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
If you let me fall
If you let me
If you let me fall
If you let me fall

I will get up again if you let me fall
Yeah, yeah, yeah
Yeah, yeah
if you let me fall
if you let me fall
let me fall

"Thanks and Good Night Glen Oak" Ruth said one last time and ran off the stage.

"She was so great" Eric beamed as we got up.

Annie turned to us and said "We'll go home and see if the kids are all right. You should all go out"

"Thanks Mom" Lucy said happily as they waved goodbye and left.

"Mr. Brewer?" I heard a voice say behind us. We turned around a saw a young boy holding his mom's hand "May I have your autograph?"

"Sure" I replied smiling before taking his baseball card and signing it.

"You were excellent" Kevin yelled as Ruth came up to us.

"Thanks" she replied beaming as she took my hand and we started walking out.

"Hope you weren't too embarrassed" she inquired lightly as I squeezed her hand and replied "Not too much"

"Good" she replied as we heard Johnny say behind us "So in two weeks we start recording in London?"

"That's about right" Ruth replied without looking back and sighing before confessing "Lately he has been pretty weird"

"Weird as in how?" I immediately wanted to know. I knew that Johnny was a problem.

"All these questions about us, and Lizbeth and where we are moving and just information that is none of his business"

"I could look into his profile if you want Ruth" Kevin interjected helpfully.

"That would be wonderful" Ruth agreed as she leaned her head on my shoulder and I gave her a hug.

"I can't believe you guys are leaving tomorrow" Lucy sadly stated as we waited for our order at the restaurant.

"I know, the last couple of months flew by" Ruthie sighed as well and looked a bit sad.

"Well we will be back when Lizbeth finishes for the summer" I added helpfully hoping to lighten the atmosphere.

The last thing I needed Lucy doing was changing Ruth's mind about staying in Glen Oak before leaving for London.

"Yes that is true" Ruth agreed as the waiter came with our food.

The last week and half we spent with Lizbeth trying to get her settled in our new home and getting adjusted to school.

The new house was about two blocks from our previous home and Ruth had said that she and Lizbeth had some intense talks about what Sandy had done to her.

Lizbeth was a little confused about the details but she always referred to Sandy as the mean mommy and I realized that there would come a time when she would want to know about her mom.

When it was time to say goodbye, Lizbeth cried a little but was secure in the knowledge that her mother would return.

I, on the other hand, was not as sure. It was evident that Ruth was great at what she did and she was so excited to be returning to London.

"I'll call you when I reach my flat" she promised before kissing me on the cheek.

"Your flat where you live alone, correct?"

"Yes dad" she teased as she rolled her eyes.

"Hey" I protested "any guy would ask that of their future wife"

"Future wife, eh? Well as I remember correctly there has to be a question before you start demanding where I'm living"

"You're right" I replied as I knelt down and pulled out the diamond ring my dad had given my mother.

"Ruth Camden, will you be my wife?"

"Martin!" she exclaimed and smiled before kneeling down along with me and saying "yes I will"

I smiled as I kissed her on the lips. We pulled apart and she gave Lizbeth one more kiss and said "I have to go. I'll talk to you later"

"Bye" I replied smiling before adding "I love you"

"I love you too"

Martin

Once Ruth was gone and Lizbeth was settled in watching her favorite TV show. I picked up the phone.

"Did she say yes?" Eric demanded playfully.

"Hello to you as well" I replied smugly before admitting "Yes"

"Well congratulations. If I have to lose my daughter I would rather it be to you than anyone else"

"Thanks, I think" I replied smiling wryly before adding "So I was wondering if you would do me a favor?"

"Anything"

"Would you start looking at houses for sale in Glen Oak?"

"Really?"

"Well Lizbeth loves being near you and Ruthie wants to be as close as possible to everyone and I might be doing a career switch sooner than later, if everything goes right"

"Well I'll start looking"

"Wonderful but there is a second part of this favor"

"Ok" Eric replied slowly.

"Once you find it and we sign everything, would Annie mind sitting it up?"

"Don't you think Ruth would want that?"

"Well I want the house finished once we get there and hopefully she will be so busy with Lizbeth and any other children..."

"You want to get my daughter pregnant that fast?" Eric chuckled grimly as I blushed and stammered "Well no sir. It's just that. You know..."

"Martin, calm down. I was just having some fun. You know Annie and I can't wait to have more grandchildren"

"Thanks Eric"

"Martin?"

"Yes"

"Call me Dad"