Chapter five of Things I'm afraid to say! W00t! I bet none of you know where I'm going with this story... but please! Don't give up now! I promise that the end will be worth every wince-worthy moment. Love ya~
I warn you ahead of time, there is an OC in this chapter. But he WILL NOT interfere with the outcome of this story. If anything, he is helping. So bare with me guys!
I don't own Pokemon. duh :(
Previously on Things I'm Afraid to Say:
"Ash?" Hurt flashed in his green eyes, and I turned away. I wish I could explain, I wish I could stay, I wish I could tell him that I wasn't afraid. But that would be lying.
I Regret Everything
Three years.
1995 days.
24260 hours.
1576800 minutes.
94608000 seconds.
It was all spent in regret.
I really was planning to visit my mother, I really was. In the end, I was too cowardly to return to my quaint hometown. I was afraid that I'd have to answer questions. You know, those kinds of questions. The ones that you just want to run and hide from? Well, that's exactly what I did.
Jumping. One town to the next. Putting every effort towards becoming a pokemon master, so I wouldn't have to think about him.
For the most part, it worked. I caught every pokemon I would come across. I'd win any battle I was faced with...
Anything to keep him out of my life.
It was the little things that started to bug me. Someone with a similar shade of beautiful auburn hair. Or, sometimes I'd see someone wearing a lab coat. Once, a kid pulled an eevee on me, and I pretty much went insane. It brought back a lot of memories, most of which I'd have rather never thought of again.
Last I knew, his eevee had evolved into an umbreon. Amazing, graceful, full of potential. Just like my Gary...
Gah. I shook my head. He isn't mine. I'd ruined all my chances three years ago, when I left him. Nobody deserves what I put him through.
My life went on like that. Thinking of Gary when I wasn't training, and training when I wasn't thinking about Gary. Two years of pure torture, carting around an obnoxious ten year old with some creepy pig pokemon.
It was just a year ago that I came to stay with Brock. Not like it was my choice, or anything. The National Championship was going great. I was in the top two. I hadn't even spent any of my time thinking about Gary!
Well, not all of it, at least. I don't think I could live without thinking about him for an hour a day.
It had come down between me, and some kid named Duane. He was weird, if not mentally insane. Duane had a tendency to dress... I think the word is flamboyant. But that is a WHOLE different story.
Anyways, the two of us were having dinner the night before finals, a sort of truce between us. I certainly didn't want to be on bad terms with my opponent. That'd just be a death sentence. Duane and his bellsprout were a scary team. I saw what he had done to that poor girl who always hung around him, Alice was it? She tried to dress him in sensible clothes, and ended up with half her hair burnt away by solar beam. So yeah. I don't want to be under this trainer's wrath.
"Hey, Ash~?"
"Hm?" I barely looked up from my sandwich. Damn, roast beef still makes me lose my appetite. That's because it's his favorite kind, next to egg salad. That bastard has SOME nerve, invading my lunch meat...
"Do you have a girlfriend?" His head was cocked to one side, a placid look across his face. You know, if I squint, he looks a lot like Gary. Spiky, un-brushed hair, tanned skin, and a crooked grin. Man, I miss that crooked grin.
"Erm..."
"¡Lo siento!(1) I didn't mean to make you feel awkward. I just wanted to know, and... yeah." Hm? He speaks spanish? Duane shrugged and my heart started thumping. My stomach was tying itself in knots... I know this feeling.
But no. This was nowhere near as intense of an attraction as it was with Gary. He's just... cute. How OLD is he...?
"Nah, I don't. I hope there's no hard feelings, but I'm not into girls, ya know?" Did I seriously just say that?
"I do know!" Duane looked... excited? Hm?
"So... you?"
"Yup." Wow, I should have seen this coming. I mean, the guy wears fuzzy leg warmers...
Then it hit me. Here is a guy, who likes guys. I think he's hot. He reminds me of the guy who's been occupying my mind for years... I crave something that he can give me.
"You want to come back to my hotel?"
He sat up straight, probably in surprise. Poor kid, looked like he was about to turn into a tomato. Heh, so cute.
"Don't get me wrong, I don't want a relationship. My heart belongs to someone else, but I haven't done it in forever... And it'd be a nice break from the tournement!" I hurried to explain, but there was no need. Duane was smiling, nodding. That's a relief.
"Okay. As long as there's no strings. I already have my soul mate..." A blush.
I leaned forward, "Who?"
"¡Qué vergüenza! (2) If you must know, it's my professor." Again, with the blushing? "I call him Mr. C, but he's professionally called Mr. Cottonwood." And that was that. He refused to say anything else on the matter, much to my dismay.
It was a slow, silent walk to my room. I hated it. No words, it felt like he was some cheap whore, and Duane didn't deserve that.
He's certainly bolder than I thought. As soon as we were in, he had me shoved against the wall, his tongue exploring my mouth. Damn he is STRONG. I tried to push him back and change our positions, but the little bastard had me pinned fast. Before I knew it, we were on the bed, panting like we'd just ran a mile.
"H-hey, maybe we shouldn't-mmmf!" HE silenced my complaints with a kiss. Alright. If I close my eyes, it'll be Gary doing this. Not Duane. Not this weird mexican teenager who had is in love with a man three times his age.
"El silencio, mi amigo. (3) No backing out now." He pulled off my shirt with haste. He's nothing like Gary. He'd been slow, deliberate, loving. Duane was the total opposite.
So I took out all my frustration. All the anger I'd built up, all the sadness. In those few moments of paradise, it finally hit me. I mean, I've always wished that I hadn't left Gary, but this was different. The feeling... I just longed to hold him in my arms. Longed to kiss him...
"A-ah! Gary~" I screamed out, holding the other boy's body close to me.
"Dammit..." He fell on top of me, and I reveled in how light he was. Seriously, he has to be no more than 100 pounds.
"Hey, Duane? What are you, like, 17? You weigh practically nothing." I pulled him into a light embrace, too lazy to disentangle out bodies. Mmm, he smelled like apples.
"Haha, I just turned 15." My eyes flew open. I'd just done it with a 15 year old? Is that even legal? More importantly, I'd just been topped by a 15 year old! Oh the shame.
It went on like that for the rest of the night. We'd talk a little, then have sex, and talk some more. This kid had some serious stamina. After the third time, I was ready to collapse.
"Ash." He nudged my shoulder, "Are you awake?"
Nggg... "Yes. I am."
"Who is Gary?"
Gary? How does he know about Gary? Oh damn. I didn't, you know, say his name, did I? Great.
"It's not that I really mind. It's just, if you are screaming his name during sex, shouldn't he be the one you are with?" Am I really going to have to explain this to him? "This tournament has been going on for months, and the only thing personal in here is a picture of the Gary Oak."
"Y-you know him?"
"Ahhh, so that is the Gary you were thinking about. Your alma gemela.(4)" Duane smiled, before kissing me gently on the cheek. "He's nothing special if you ask me."
"I'm going to sleep now."
"M'kay." He wrapped his arms around my waist and wove his thin legs though mine.
Crazy mexicans... This is why I don't like tacos.
(1)-I'm Sorry!
(2)-How Embarrassing!
(3)-Silence, my friend. (seriously, I didn't even have to look up this one! I'm so proud of myself...)
(4)-Soul mate ;)
So, chapter three! After a very, very long wait. Filled with begging, doubt, and lack of trust in my abilities to update. HA! Proved you wrong, didn't I? :)
Please review, it'd make me happy~
