Sasuke's entire body slammed into the wall hard and he felt his blood leak from his nose. He looked up to different but familiar angry onyx eyes, his own apathetic and tinged with a dull pain he'd lived with all his life. Hearing the cursed whimpering, that he so longed to stop and turn into a laugh, from his mother coming into the room. This was not so confusing nor was it unexpected. After all his father had come home drunk as usual...
''Well Sasuke, what took you so long to come home? Did you have detention again? You know when your brother was your age we didn't nearly have as many problems as we do with you...''Fugaku said spitefully pulling Sasuke up to gaze into his son's crimson glare.
Sasuke's hand balled into fists and his body,still acting on the testorone flowing through his veins, stiffened. He wanted to make him pay for all the pain he'd caused his mother. Fugaku knew it and he taunted Sasuke with a superior smirk on his face to match the blush on his cheeks. Even though one was drunk and the other was enraged, they both knew that the enraged would not strike... He didn't have the courage to do it, he had faced that road before. It wasn't one he was prepared to go down again...he wasn't strong enough to handle that again.
''I walked home with a friend. It's not as though you actually care about me in the first place.'' He answered earning another solid punch to the face sending him crashing into the wall and Fugaku began to stomp on the boy's chest attempting to break his bones in a drunken and sadistic hedonistic pleasure that played nihilistic in Mikoto's mind. Mikoto having been brought into a mental conciousness seeing her youngest son being beaten and the cries of pain forced from him, rushed towards them. She was a small woman but she used every ounce of strength she had to stop her husband's fist with her body halting the attack, tears streaming down her face as her son gazed at her with worry and about to protest.
''That's enough Fugaku please-'' He pulled her roughly against him and kissed her deeply running his hands over her body.''Fuga- ah-'' She yelped when he bit her tongue and wrestled her down to the floor glaring at Sasuke. He watched her body tremble underneath the giant and the blood fall out of her mouth.Fugaku kept Mikoto from squirming underneath him with his weight keeping her in place. His power exceeded that of Mikoto and Sasuke giving him the right to rule... The history of the world was spelled out every time he gazed into those dark unfeeling eyes.
''Get out of my face.'' He said spitefully and Sasuke ran, not needing to be told twice. His injuries kept him from doing anymore and in the act of self-preservation he pushed his fears out of his head and ran ignoring the pain.The screams of his mother was more than enough to send his mind reeling and his body running out the back door and into the labyrinth of trees in the land Mikoto owned. Why wasn't he... Why couldn't he be stronger?... When Itachi was home, Fugaku wasn't and so there was no need to protect anyone. Even when they were home at the same time, Fugaku dared not try the same stunt with Itachi in the house lest he face the mecenary's rath.The abuse was the same but his mother didn't have to suffer as well.
I don't understand why she doesn't just leave him... She would be much better off without that bastard...she knows that I would leave with her, with or without Itachi... Why can't I protect her? Why can't I be the one strong enough to protect her? Why must it always be Itachi?
The fear, the overwhelming all consumming fear of being inadequate, of being useless, of always being Itachi's little brother had consummed him from the day he had learned of Itachi's prowess... His brother was off on some mission for the military, some covert operation, and when he came home he took all his frustration out on Sasuke... Emotionally and Physically... When his Aniki had gone to the military he was a different man, he came back changed. Sadistic, masochistic... he came back a monster in Sasuke's eyes. The boy was only six years old when Itachi came back the first time...Even though he had several women and men willing to sleep with him at the moments notice... Itachi always came back to see and make Mikoto happy, and to abuse Sasuke physically, psychologically and emotionally.
Now his mother, when she needed him most, he could do nothing to help her.He was weak, he was inadequate, he was useless. He closed his eyes , even from the distance, his mother's screams of pain and protest clawed at him pushing him into a maddening run.
Run. Run away from the pain, the fear, this hell he lived in all his life.
Run...
He couldn't run fast enough. His phantoms caught up with him. Slowing his steps and tripping him into the cool blue moonlit water. He thrashed in the liquid world and suddenly just stopped. Wishing that he would sink, knowing that he wouldn't as he floated to the top of the water and breathed in the cool night air. The thought angered him, that he could not even end his life successfully.He was so angry. Angry enough to scream and destory the night, knocking the stars out of the sky. He was so tired of being weak.
''I'm sorry...'' He whispered hoping that his sorrows and pain would carry them to his mother. His tears flowed down his face and the pain he felt with every scream and protest her heard destroyed his soul.Mikoto deserved better than this...
Akira arrived home and collapsed on the bed. She was asleep in seconds, her last thought before she slept was: Today was nice...but i have a bad feeling about tomorrow...
She didn't know why thought...
Sasuke made it back into the house. The living room was destroyed. His mother cleaning the broken glass, her clothes in shreds and tears coarsing down her face. He knew what happened, Fugaku was gone for the night going back to his secretary at the office, who was also married with kids, leaving Mikoto alone with a threat: Get this mess cleaned up before I come back Mikoto and you'd better not call anyone.
He approached her. She yelped startled at his prescence as he sank to his knees beside her and helped her clean the mess. They cleaned in silence the blood on the floor, the glass shattered everywhere and pushed the phantoms that haunted their souls out of their house as they did every time, together...
Once the wreckage was disposed of and all evidence disappeared... He turned to her still watching the tears falling from her eyes.
''I'm sorry... Sasuke... I'm so sorry..'' SHe whispered whimpering in pain and hoping for forgiveness. He pulled her into his arms the only thing he could do. She was the only one with he didn't feel inadequate. He was enough... he was the only one that comforted her in these moments and the knowledge of this brought tears to his eyes and joy to his heart. She was the only thing that kept him sane, hopeful and ready to take anything but his own life.
''Shh.. I should be apologizing. I'm sorry. I'm sorry I'm not Itachi. I'm sorry that I-''
''Sasuke, enough. You don't have to be Itachi, you're my son all the same. And I love you... I'm sorry you have to go through this.'' He let his own tears fall, unable to hide them still trying to comfort her. She didn't understand or maybe she did, she just wanted him to say the words... his fears to trust her as he should, she being his mother.
''I'm sorry I can't protect you...'' He whispered, ''I'm sorry I'm not strong enough...''His voice cracking under the pressure of his words. He had never confessed this to her before and everything he was saying , Mikoto knew. It was the things that he didn't say that she worried for. There had always been a distance between her and Sasuke since Itachi had first come back from the Military, even when he would comfort her... Some part of him was always so distant...
''You don't need to. You're my son...'' She whispered, letting him hold her and hugging him back. She loved him so dearly... she would do anything to keep him from this pain, if she could... But there was nothing she could do... He would not let her.
''Come on... let's get those wounds bandaged okay?'' Sasuke said softly lifting her up. She yelped, it never ceased to suprise her how strong her son had been, or how light she was. She closed her eyes letting him carry her up the stairs and into her bedroom. They sat in silence as Sasuke cleaned the scrapes on her hands and legs, and bandaged the bruises left by his rage...
''I've been thinking Sasuke... about sending you to your aunt Hikari's...''
''Why? Are you leaving?'' He asked, she covered his hand to stop him from bandaging her and look into her eyes.''Mom...''
''No Sasuke, I meant for good. It would be just down the street and Fugaku would leave you alone so-''
''No.''
''Sasuke-'' Mikoto broke off seeing the emotion in his scarlet eyes. THe color of blood reflected such determination such protection, she shivered. Where had this Sasuke come from. She would always remember him best as the little boy that would help carry the groceries in and come to her to tell her everything that had happened that day. He would laugh and the house was always filled with his running footsteps. That was before they moved here to Konoha on a bit of land that Mikoto owned and everything changed.
''I'm not going to leave you here with that monster... Even if he is my father...I'm staying right here.'' He said finishing her bandages and pulling the cream colored bed spread over her as if she was a child.
''But-''
''No protesting. We've had this conversation before... If I can... If I can shield you even just a little... I'd gladly take anything he can throw at me...'' She sighed, despite his quiet nature Sasuke had quite a fighting side to him, a protecting side. She supposed that was his Leo side baring its teeth.
''Oh Sasuke... when did you become so strong?'' She whispered resigning herself to the fact that she may never understand her son... Why did he always try so hard to be Itachi? Why did he always put himself in immediate danger? Didn't he know that above all else, above everything he could and couldn't do for her, for himself, he was still her son?
''Sweet dreams Mom.'' He whispered kissing her cheek and turning out the bedside light. She shook her head at the irony of it all.''I love you.'' SHe felt her heart melt... she had never been so glad to hear those words from anyone... she wanted to feel loved just as he had wanted to feel needed.
''I love you too Sasuke. Get some sleep okay?'' He nodded exiting and closing the door behind him. He walked down the hall to his room and closed the door behind him. He released a breath and flopped on the bed. He had to stop this... he had to... he just didn't know how...
