I know it's been a little while since I last updated this. I am sorry. But I hope it was worth the wait...
Chapter Three: James and Carlos Figure it Out
"He was just so... sweet," Kendall told James and Carlos on Monday about his experience at church with Logan.
"Do not tell me you are falling harder for him," James said. He didn't want to see his friend's heart get broken.
"I'm not," Kendall said. James and Carlos didn't believe him. Kendall wasn't even sure if he believed himself.
"We just don't want you to start thinking you have a chance with him all of a sudden," Carlos said. "You know, just because he was 'sweet' to you at church, doesn't mean he wants you."
"I know that," Kendall snapped. "God. I hate that you two treat me like I'm some fragile, lovesick, preteen girl. I'm aware that I don't have a chance with Logan."
Carlos sighed. "We just don't want you getting hurt."
"I won't. Can we change the subject?"
"I went out with Cindy Saturday," James told his friends.
Carlos asked, "Did you get lucky?"
James smirked. "Oh yeah." He and Carlos high-fived.
"you're gonna wanna stop doing that," Kendall warned James.
James gave him a confused look. "What?"
"If you want Camille," Kendall clarified. "You're gonna have to stop hooking up with whoever rips their panties off for you."
"How do you know that?"
"Logan."
James squinted at Kendall. "And how does lover boy know this?"
"He and Camille have been friends for awhile. Some man whore broke her heart. That's why she doesn't like you that much."
"How do I know he's not trying to worm his way in there?"
"I'm not," a voice said from behind James. James turned around to see Logan.
"How can I believe you?" James wanted to know.
"Camille's like a sister to me," Logan said. "I could never think of her like that."
"Are there any girls you're interested in?" Carlos asked Logan. He hoped Logan would say yes so Kendall could stop fantasizing about them being together.
Logan quickly glanced at Kendall before looking back at Carlos. "No."
"No girls at all?" Carlos pressed on.
Logan shook his head. "Nope."
"Not even at church?"
Logan sighed. "There are no girls that I'm interested in."
Carlos pondered that while James asked, "So, you'll help me with Camille?"
Logan smiled at him. "Of course. I hear you really like her, and she deserves someone who's really into her." He snuck a peek at Carlos. He could practically see the wheel churning in Carlos' mind. Carlos was about to get it. Crap.
"So what can I do to get Camille?" James asked.
Logan focused on James again. "Well. Stop seeing other girls for starters."
"I can do that," James said. "What else?"
The bell rang and Logan said, "We'll talk about it later, OK?"
James nodded as Logan walked off with Kendall. He looked at Carlos. "Why do you have your thinking face on?"
"Something Logan said..."
"About me and Camille?"
Carlos smacked James' arm. "Not everything is about you. I'm talking about when I asked him if he was into any girls."
James rubbed his arm. Carlos was quite a strong one. "So?"
"He kept saying there aren't any girls he's into. He was stressing the bit about girls. James. What if-"
"He can't be," James said. "He's dated girls."
"So? Plenty of gay guys date girls before coming out. I mean. He's religious. It's probably taken him awhile to admit it to himself."
James thought for a moment. "Huh. We must do some observation and research before coming to any conclusions. And don't tell Kendall about your theory."
Carlos shook his head. "I won't. We can't get his hopes up in case we're wrong."
The bell rang again. "Shit. We're late. Text me with any details you gather."
Carlos saluted James before they parted ways.
...
When Kendall walked into Shakespeare, he noticed Logan frowning into his sonnet book. Kendall sat. "What's up?"
Logan looked up at him. "I, um, have no idea what sonnet to pick."
"You'll figure it out," Kendall assured. "And you'll do a great job performing it."
Logan rolled his eyes. "I'm gonna do terrible."
"You're gonna be terrific."
"I'm not gonna do as well as you or any of the other Twos."
Kendall smiled. "You mentioned me first."
Logan bit his lip and blushed. "Well. I was kinda amazed by you..."
"But half the people in this class are much better actors than me."
Logan's eyes went to his desk. "Not to me," he whispered.
The bell rang. "You really think I was good?" Kendall asked.
Logan nodded. "Yeah."
Mrs. Spalding walked in before Kendall could respond. "OK, class! Today we're going to begin watching Othello." She handed out some worksheets. "I want you all to answer these questions while watching it. You can work with a partner if you want."
Kendall scooted his chair back so he was next to Logan's desk. "Partners?"
Logan smiled at him. "Sure."
Logan had issues paying attention to the movie. Kendall was seated close to him. And he sometimes felt like Kendall's eyes were on him. It made Logan tempted to glance at him, but he didn't give in. Instead he let his mind wander a little too much. He imagined himself alone with Kendall. Maybe in Logan's living room or bedroom. Cuddled next to each other watching the movie. Logan had never enjoyed-or even wanted to-cuddle with the girlfriends he had before. But the idea of cuddling with Kendall was appealing.
Logan let out a breath and tried to focus on the movie. He failed, of course. It frustrated Logan. He'd been attracted to guys before, but he was able to keep them from getting to him. Before Kendall, that is. Logan had noticed Kendall Freshman year. He sat there in homeroom with his wonderful laugh and nice eyes. Logan should've predicted this. He should've known Kendall would be the guy to get under his skin. To wiggle his way into Logan's life. Be the one who ruined his plans.
The bell rang, shaking Logan from his thoughts. "We'll keep watching the movie tomorrow," Mrs. Spalding told the class.
As Logan waited for Kendall to gather his things, Kendall said, "You didn't do much writing."
Logan sighed. "I was having trouble focusing."
Kendall handed Logan his worksheet. "You can use mine to answer the questions you missed."
Logan took it. "Thanks. It won't happen again tomorrow."
They walked out of the classroom. "No problem," Kendall said. "We all have those days."
"I don't. Usually."
Kendall gave him a pat on the back. "Bound to happen eventually, I guess."
They made their way to the cafeteria. They both set their books on the table. Kendall followed James, Carlos and Stephanie to the lunch line. Logan went to one of the fridges they kept in the cafeteria to get his lunch. Then he took a seat next to Camille.
"So I went to the bookstore yesterday," Camille told Logan.
Logan looked at her. "Yay?"
"I got some new yaoi," she said in a sing song voice. She laughed when Logan pretended to not care. "Stop acting like you don't give a shit. You know you're gonna ask to borrow it."
"I almost hate you for being right," Logan said with some defeat. "What's it about?"
"Student and teacher."
"Curse you for knowing my weaknesses."
Camille smiled brightly. "What else are best friends for? You want me to come over after your Jesus club so you can read it?"
"You already finished it?"
"Oh yeah. It's really hot."
"You're one of the reasons I'm going to hell," Logan told her.
Camille tilted her head. "What's the other reason?"
Logan looked across the cafeteria. The other four were making their way back to the table. "Kendall," he said to Camille.
Camille put a hand on his shoulder. "Does this mean you're gonna stop pretending being someone you're not?"
"I'm not pretending," Logan insisted. "I'm doing what God would want."
Camille rolled her eyes. "You don't know if God wants you to pretend to be straight."
"Quiet. The others are coming." Logan thought for a minute then added, "Be nice to James."
Camille looked disgusted. "Why would i be nice to a whore?"
"He has self-esteem issues."
"Gorgeous people don't have self-esteem issues."
Logan smirked at her. "You think he's gorgeous?"
"Shut your mouth."
Kendall was the first to reach the table. He sat next to Logan. Stephanie, Carlos, and James sat across from them.
"So you'll all help me with the activities fair next week, right?" Stephanie asked.
They all nodded and Logan said, "Anything to get me out of being stuck with Mary for two periods." He looked at Kendall. "She tried to get me to do it after you left church."
Kendall chuckled. "She is such an annoying bitch."
Logan bit back a laugh. He nudged Kendall a little. "It's not good to say mean things."
Kendall poked his side. "Like you weren't thinking it."
"But I didn't say it."
"So that makes you a better person than me?"
"Yup," Logan teased.
The two giggled then stared at each other for a short while. Then they let themselves get sucked in by their friends' conversations.
"So, Kendall," Camille said at one point. "You into yaoi?"
Logan almost choked on his drink.
"Um. I've never read it," Kendall told her. "I usually just, you know, watch pron..." He tried to avoid Logan's gaze. He really needed to learn how to control what came out of his mouth.
"What kind of little kinks do you have?" Camille asked.
Logan glared at her. "Are these questions necessary?"
Kendall laughed nervously. "Uh. I tend to like student-teacher things. And doctor-patient."
Logan's eyes widened for a second. It figured Kendall would be into those things too.
The bell rang and everyone stood. Logan tapped Kendall's shoulder. When Kendall looked at him, Logan said, "Sorry about Camille. She can be... nosy."
Kendall smiled, glad Logan wasn't disgusted by him. "No problem. You should've heard the things Carlos and James asked when I came out to them."
Logan let out a chuckle. "I imagine they wanted all the dirty details."
The two began to walk. "And they wouldn't stop pestering me until I told them everything they wanted to know. But it made me happy they weren't grossed out by me."
"They seem like really good friends," Logan commented.
"They are. I'm lucky to have them. Camille seems like a good friend to you."
Logan smiled. "She is. I was a lonely kid. I mean, I had my church camp friends, but Camille was my first real friend. The first person I ever really clicked with. I can tell her anything. And I know she won't hate me."
"So you didn't make your first real friend until..."
"Sixth grade." Logan stopped walking. "This is my class."
"OK. Bye." Kendall gave him a little wave. Logan waved back then walked into the room. Kendall continued down the hall.
He couldn't believe Logan hadn't made a true friend until sixth grade. He was such a sweet and kind person. Why wouldn't someone want to be friends with him? Kendall had wanted to know Logan since the first moment he laid eyes on him. Kendall now wished he had made a move to do so sooner.
...
"So who wants to volunteer to help with the activities fair?" Mary asked. It was after school and they were at their We Love God club meeting. A few people raised their hands and Mary wrote their names down. "What about you, Logan?"
Logan didn't know why she was asking. He had already said no. He looked around before focusing on Mary. "Uh... I never have before."
"Well, why not this year?" Mary asked.
"I'm, um, helping out with the horror movie club."
Mary dropped her notebook and pen on the desk then crossed her arms. "A club dedicated to killers is more important to you than a club dedicated to God?"
Logan felt really uncomfortable. He hated that everyone's eyes were on him. "Stephanie was in desperate need of volunteers. I, um, don't see what the big deal is."
"Why is that club suddenly more important than this one?" Mary asked angrily.
"Why do you-"
"Is Kendall also doing this?"
Logan nodded. "Along with Camille, James, and Carlos."
"Can't you see that Kendall is trying to turn you gay?"
Logan stood and tried to remain calm. "He is not trying to turn me gay."
"How do you know that?"
"Because you can't turn someone gay!" Logan was getting really tired of this argument. "He even said so himself. You can't magically make someone gay. A person is either gay or not. No one can change them."
"But we-"
"I'm leaving," Logan announced. He grabbed his things and stormed out. This isn't the first time Logan had done so. He had gotten into arguments during club meetings before. If it got too frustrating, he would leave before he said something he'd regret. He didn't want to hurt anyone's feelings or get even angrier. It was always just best to leave.
Logan pulled into his driveway. His parents weren't home from work yet, so he went to Camille's. He knocked on the door.
Camille opened it and looked surprised. "I didn't expect you for another half hour."
Logan walked in. "I got into an argument with Mary. Before things could get ugly, I left."
They went into Camille's living room and sat. "What'd you argue about?"
"She keeps saying Kendall's trying to turn me gay."
"Well, he is into you," Camille told Logan.
Logan rolled his eyes. "He is not."
"He totally is. He wants you Logan. What are you gonna do about it?"
"Nothing."
Camille sighed. "Logan you gotta stop pretending. Do you really think it's OK to trick girls into believing you're straight? Do you actually think it's right to plan on lying to some girl long enough so she'll marry you and have your children?"
"It's what-"
"Don't you say that it's what God wants! God doesn't want you to lie. To hurt people."
"Who would I be hurting?" Logan wanted to know.
"The chick you end up marrying. How do you think she'll feel, knowing her husband doesn't really love her? And you'll probably break a few guys' hearts along the way. And you'll be hurting yourself. It can't be good for you. Pretending. Denying yourself what you really want."
"But-"
"And what about Kendall?" Camille went on. "You're gonna do things that will give him hope that he has a chance. Then you're gonna turn him down and destroy him."
"I don't know what I'm gonna do about him," Logan said.
"Do you like him?"
"How could one not? He's funny and nice and great to get along with. It's weird. I've only known him for a week, but it feels longer."
"You should give him a chance," Camille said.
"I'm just gonna let the friendship progress as it will. Now where's that yaoi you were telling me about?"
...
Later that night, after doing his homework, Logan allowed himself to read the yaoi Camille gave him. Logan knew that reading these things were a sin, and that touching himself while doing so was an even bigger sin. But watching gay porn-which Camille also introduced him to-and reading yaoi had kept him from pursuing guys for years. Now that Kendall was in his life, though, Logan didn't know how long that streak would last. Especially since one of the guys in the yaoi reminded him of Kendall.
Logan reminded himself to yell at Camille before he began reading. Camille was right. It was hot. Logan was getting more aroused with each turn of the page. He slid his hand down his pants and began to slowly stroke himself. Eventually, he grew tired of the book and tossed it aside. He shut his eyes and let his imagination take over. Thoughts of a certain blonde boy sucking him off quickly filled his mind. Logan sped up the movements of his hand and soon he was coming, biting his lip so he wouldn't moan out the name of the boy he was fantasizing about.
After catching his breath, Logan went into his bathroom. He took a shower, brushed his teeth, then shoved his soiled clothes to the bottom of his hamper. He went back to his bedroom, put on his pajamas, then fell into bed.
Logan sighed, realizing what he had done. That was the first time Logan had ever touched himself while thinking of an actual person-not a porn star or actor or someone he made up. Logan would definitely be mentioning this the next time he went to Confession.
...
The next week,before first period on Monday, Kendall walked up to Logan. "Can I ask you a question?"
Logan jumped. He still wasn't used to Kendall sneaking up on him. "Um. Sure."
"Is church ever not boring?"
Logan laughed. "For you? Probably not."
Kendall put a hand on his chest, pretending to be hurt. "I can't believe you don't have any faith in me! What kind of Jesus freak are you? You should be laying your life on the line to make me a believer!"
Logan laughed again and shoved Kendall lightly. "You're so weird."
Kendall shrugged with a smirk. "It's part of my charm."
"I bet it makes all the guys flock to you."
"Hell yes, it does."
They stared at each other for awhile, just smiling. Until they heard a throat clear. They turned and saw Stephanie. "Hi," she said awkwardly.
"What's up?" Kendall asked.
"You guys gotta come to the gym after first period," Stephanie reminded them.
"And we gotta stay through second and third?" Logan wanted to know.
Stephanie nodded "Yup. Our table is by the boys' locker room." The bell rang. "See you guys there," Stephanie said before walking away.
Logan and Kendall started to make their way to class. Logan said, "You know, I never helped out with the activities fair."
Kendall faked a gasp. "Not even for God?"
Logan chuckled and gave him a push. "Sometimes I just can't stand a few members of that club."
"Like Mary?"
"She's definitely one of them. I walked out last week because of her."
"Oh? Why?"
"It was, like, the five millionth argument we've gotten into over you."
Kendall stopped walking. "Me?"
Logan turned to face him. "Yeah. She doesn't like that I'm friends with you."
"Why?"
Logan sighed. "She's had a crush on me since we met at church camp. She doesn't even like me talking to girls. And for some reason, since you're gay, she feels really threatened."
Confusion flashed across Kendall's face. "Does... she have a reason to be threatened... by... me?"
Logan bit his lip as the bell rang. "We're late," he said quietly.
Kendall briefly wondered why Logan didn't answer his question. It should've been an easy answer. Something that would help Kendall get over his crush. So that he would know he doesn't have a chance with Logan. Kendall's question shouldn't have given him a surge of hope.
Kendall let out a breath. "Right. Let's get to class." When they began walking again, he decided to lighten the mood. "You must be regretting becoming my friend. I always make you late to class."
That got a smile out of Logan. "You're lucky you're entertaining. Or else I would drop you."
Kendall let out a loud laugh. "See? It's that charm I was talking about earlier."
...
Kendall didn't pay any attention during first period. He He kept running through what had happened with Logan. Was there any possible way Logan could be gay? Or was Kendall just letting his imagination get to him?
Before Kendall knew it, the bell rang. He gathered his things and smiled at a waiting Logan. "While we work at the activities fair, can I borrow your notes?"
Logan smirked at him. "Were you not paying attention?"
"Not at all."
Logan chuckled as they made their way to the gym. "You really need to work on that. And, yes, you can borrow them."
They entered the gym and quickly found Stephanie and Camille. The two girls were setting up the table.
"Ladies," Kendall greeted.
"Hey," Stephanie said with a smile. "Um. When people come to our table, remember to give them some candy."
James and Carlos arrived. "So, what's the game plan?" James asked.
Stephanie said, "Carlos and I will wait at the entrance to encourage people to visit our table. Camille and James will walk around trying to convince people to visit our table. Logan and Kendall will stay here." She handed Kendall a sheet of paper. "Those are answers to any questions people will ask. And remember, all, we need more girls."
"Do we have permission to bash other clubs?" James asked.
stephanie thought for a minute. "Yes. But in the nicest way possible. Now. Move out!"
Everyone separated. After they sat, Kendall asked Logan. "Did you talk to Stephanie about Camille and James?"
Logan smirked. "Yup. She was all for it. It's a shame Camille looked disappointed about working with James."
"But James looked way excited."
"Poor guy." Logan got a notebook out of his bag. "Here's the notes from Lit."
Kendall took it. "Thanks." He grabbed some candy and started to eat.
Logan opened his sonnet book and glanced at Kendall. "Hey. That candy isn't for us."
Kendall pouted. "But I love Starburst."
"Well, me too. But-"
"Want some?" Kendall held out a handful for Logan.
Logan sighed. "Gimme."
"You pick a sonnet yet?" Kendall asked.
"Nope. Did you?"
"Yeah. But don't worry. The Twos perform before the Ones."
"I know. But still."
"You'll find the right one. Eventually." Kendall paused for a moment, deciding to take a chance. "You can come over to my house on Friday, and we can work on it."
"Um..." Logan grabbed his planner and looked through it. "Looks like I can do that."
"You actually use the planner they give us?"
"Yes. I'm a very organized person when it comes to learning."
Kendall poked Logan's side. "Nerd." When Logan bit his lip and looked down in embarrassment, Kendall added, "It's cute."
Logan looked at him and smiled. "Thanks," he whispered as the Sophomores and Freshmen entered the gym.
Camille had been watching them, a grin on her face.
"Uh. Why are you smiling?" James asked her.
Camille let out an annoyed sigh. "Nothing."
"You're watching Kendall and Logan."
"Yeah. So?"
James looked down at his feet. "You know. Kendall has a huge crush on Logan."
Camille laughed. It was a glorious sound to James. ""Yeah, I know. Kendall kinda fails at hiding it."
James nodded. "Yeah... Too bad Logan isn't gay." When Camille didn't say anything, he went on, "Or is he?"
Camille's head snapped in James' direction. "What makes you say that?"
"Uh... Well. Carlos and I have been watching Logan interact with Kendall. And he... looks at Kendall differently. He even seems like he flirts with Kendall a bit."
"Why do you care?" Camille wanted to know.
"Because Kendall has been crushing on Logan for years. It was sad that he pined over a guy he had no chance with, and who he hadn't even talked to. When they started to become friends, Carlos and I hoped Logan going on about God and girls would help Kendall realize he would never be with Logan. But the way Logan's been acting has been giving Kendall hope, I think. And I don't want Kendall getting his hopes up then end up hurt. So, is he gay or not?"
Camille raised her eyebrows. "You really care about your friends."
"Yeah. I do."
Camille let out a long breath. "You can't tell anyone. Logan is really... conflicted. I'm the only person who he'll kinda talk about it with. I mean, the guy is ready to marry a girl and live a lie because he think God wants it that way. Kendall is the first guy he's letting himself get close to. I'm really hoping Kendall will be the one to help Logan finally accept himself."
"Poor guy," James said quietly.
At the entrance to the gym, Stephanie said to all entering, "Be sure to visit the horror movie club's table."
"So what do you think of Logan?" Carlos asked her.
"Um. He's nice. Why?"
Carlos shrugged. "Kendall has this huge crush on him. And it's obvious that girl Mary likes him. Just wanted to know what's so special about him."
"Well. He's sweet and cute. Too bad he's..." Stephanie stopped herself.
"He's what?" When Stephanie said nothing, he continued, "Logan's gay, isn't he?"
Stephanie nodded.
"How do you know?" Carlos asked.
"I figured it out after talking to him for a bit. It's, like, a family gift. We can all tell when someone's gay. How'd you figure it out?"
"It was something Logan said one day. He kept stressing that he wasn't into any girls. So then I started keeping a close eyes on him. He acts differently around Kendall. Like he's into him."
Stephanie nodded. "I think he is. But you can't say anything to anyone."
"Why not?"
"Camille says he's not ready to come out. Hell, he hasn't even uttered the words 'I'm gay.' It's just kind of an accepted thing between him and Camille."
"How'd she find out?"
"No clue. But she's known him for years. He's her best friend. She must've figured it out somehow."
All of the Freshmen and Sophomores left the gym. Second period was almost over, and once third period began, the Juniors and Seniors would arrive.
Logan and Kendall were glad for the break.
"I think I've picked out a sonnet," Logan said to Kendall.
"Oh? Which one?"
Logan handed Kendall the book. He pointed to the page and said, "This one."
Kendall read through it. "Good one." He smiled at Logan. "I can't wait to see you perform it."
Logan rolled his eyes. "I'm gonna be terrible."
"You'll be brilliant. Especially after we work on it Friday."
"What's happening on Friday?" Both boys jumped at the voice. It was Mary. They had been in their own little world and she ruined it.
"Kendall's gonna help me with my sonnet on Friday," Logan told her.
"You know," Mary said, "I could always help you."
"I'm fine working with Kendall."
"But-"
Kendall jumped in. "Oh my God, Mary. Take a fucking hint. Logan doesn't want to spend any time with you."
Mary slammed her hands on the table. "I know your game, Kendall Knight. You're trying to lure Logan into a life of sin. I will not allow you to turn him into a deviant like yourself."
"Mary, leave him alone," Logan said. "He's not doing anything wrong. And you shouldn't be saying such cruel things to him."
Mary glared at Logan. "You'll eventually see what he's doing." She straightened herself. "Are you coming to the meeting after school?"
"Maybe," Logan told her. Once she was gone, Logan turned to Kendall. "I'm sorry about her."
Kendall offered him a smile. "I've heard worse."
"It's still not cool." Logan was quiet for a moment. "You're a better person than she'll ever be."
"Really?"
"Yeah. You don't pretend to be something you're not. She acts like she's a good Christian, but she's really not. You're just you, and anyone who wants you to be any different can eff off."
Kendall laughed. "Do you ever swear?"
"I try not to."
Kendall poked Logan's forehead. "We're gonna have to chance that, my friend."
Logan grinned. "You're such a bad influence."
"You dig it."
"Only a little," Logan told him.
Finally, the activities fair was over. Logan and Kendall went off to the cafeteria for lunch. Stephanie and Camille stayed behind to clear the table first. Carlos and James went to James' locker to have a quick talk.
"Logan is definitely gay," Carlos said.
"I was just about to tell you that! How'd you find out?"
"Stephanie told me. You?"
"Camille."
"Should we tell Kendall?" Carlos wondered.
"No way."
"Why not? He'd be happy."
"Because," James said, "Logan isn't out. What if Kendall makes a move and Logan turns him down? It'll break his heart."
"So... We do nothing with this information?"
James shrugged. "I guess. I'm pretty sure Camille thinks spending time with Kendall will help Logan come out."
"Alright. So we give it time, and eventually Logan will tell Kendall?"
James nodded. "And then they'll probably get together."
Carlos smiled. "Sounds like a solid plan."
I hope this chapter wasn't bad. I'll try to be quicker with the next one.
