Silences don't have to be awkward, I'm pretty sure of that. There's such a thing as a simple pause in between lines of conversation, where neither party speaks because neither party really has anything to say. It's the kind of silence where the company of the other person is sufficient in itself, with no need for conversation to maintain a connection. That kind of silence would've been possible between you and me, if not for the fact that we're pausing a conversation on how you can seduce another girl.

You still aren't aware of my hidden affections. Another reason this silence feels awkward to me. Not the best way to break a silence, is it? 'By the way, I totally have a crush on you.' When I see your surprised stare, I realise that I said that out loud. Whoops.

"You… have a crush on me?" And here we were, thinking that the silence was awkward. I just nod; the secret has been revealed, might as well make the best of the situation. You go quiet for a moment, thinking the situation over. Once you collect your thoughts, you ask the most obvious question: "So why are you helping me get Carly?"

"Because…" And then what do I say? Because I wanted you to use those tips on me? Because I needed an excuse to keep you in my room? Because I want you happy, even if it's with somebody else? Actually, they all sound pretty accurate. During my explanation, your confusion gradually fades. However, a second wave of confusion kicks in when I'm finished. You're not sure how you feel about me. Until today, you were in denial about your feelings for Carly and Freddie. Now you're acting on those feelings, a testament to how quickly your mindset can change.

Slowly but surely, your thoughts progress to a conclusion. You realise that we haven't interacted as much as you and Carly, that perhaps your feelings for your best friends has overshadowed your feelings for other people; you also realise that you may have been in denial about other people – other girls, to be exact. Above it all, you realise that you have nothing to lose with me. That alone would make me a much safer option than Carly. You normally love risks, but not when Carly is involved. You don't want to risk what you have with Carly. You pick me, because Carly means so much to you.

Your thoughts translate to actions. You lean towards me, I lean towards you. Just before our lips meet, you look towards the window. You're having second thoughts, you're not sure if this is the right decision. You continue anyway.

We finally kiss.

Your doubt is still present, but not nearly as prevalent as earlier. This may not be what you initially hoped for, but it's still pretty good. You could get used to this. You could grow to love me – you could get over Carly and focus on me instead. Part of you still tells you to follow your heart, but that part is quickly shushed by the voice of reason. You enjoy what you have with Carly; you enjoy what you can have with me. You now have something that will make you happy, which you don't want to risk for an uncertain outcome. Your doubt is still present, but it's pushed away. You've made your choice.


We greet each other in the morning. You apologise for the shirt you ripped open, I easily forgive you. The circumstances made it OK. In fact, anything less would have been a disappointment. We come up with an explanation for why you spent the night (I know my brother is on to something, but if he blabs, you could always beat him with a frozen bra), have breakfast together and head to school.

You're not looking forward to confronting Carly. You know it has to be done, but that doesn't mean you like it. I squeeze your arm ever so lightly, to let you know that we're doing this together.

Freddie's reaction is as we expected – surprised but accepting. Carly's reaction is… mixed. She's relieved, as this development allows her to move on. However, she's also worried that I'll replace her as your best friend. After you convince her that nothing will change, she mostly accepts our relationship. Mostly. There's that slight hint of envy, a leftover of the feelings she used to have. You don't notice, but I do.

In a weird twist, I end up being the one in doubt. I'm not like you. I can't push away my doubt. When I'm in doubt, the doubt only grows.


We talk. You don't understand – isn't this what I wanted? It is. But it's not what you wanted, and I wanted you to want me. So in a way, it's not what I wanted either. You yell, then I yell, then you leave.

I know exactly where you're going. I tell myself that this is how it should be, that to try and change it would be selfish. Yet I silently plead for you to turn around and come back. It won't happen. I know exactly where you're going.


A/N: That has to be the quickest relationship ever. Started and ended in a single chapter. Surely it's not over yet?

Indeed it's not: there's one more chapter. Expect it sometime this week. In the meantime, why not write a review? I do love reading reviews.