I own nothing, I don't own OUAT or it's cast, characters, plot, setting, crew, I own nothing and it's physically painful to admit that. Chapter title stolen from Lady Antebellum- Need You Now, one of my all time favorite songs ever.

Note, I've been very x838383 very ill, and so has my family, so posting is a meanie, I'm sorry. :)

If I Ever Crossed Your Mind

3rd Person

On the second of November, Emma was frantic in her search for something to wear, having expecting to be going to a fancy dinner or something like she normally would, but after messaging Killian throughout the week, he keeps telling her to dress down into something casual...she doesn't really know what to do with that information.

She had originally gone to ask Patsy, but soon realised she'd have to tell the woman she's going on a date with the very man she warned her to stay away from, the feelings shes always known to keep clear of, and it kills her to hide it from her friend and almost aunt, but that's the way it has to stay.

Against her better wishes, she likes Killian, a lot, and if his messages are anything to go by, he likes her just the same. For now, he may change his mind when he learns she has his baby inside her, and she's keeping said baby. She's not sure what she'll even say to him, but she wants to tell him, she does.

She really does.

She just never expected to be in this situation, ever, in her entire life she never once considered the possibility of having a family, or getting married, let alone having a one night stand with a millionaire who's quite possibly the sweetest and most generous man this world has ever know.

(Apparently life likes to shit on her that way, as she's also quite petrified to tell said millionaire, no matter how sweet and generous he is, that she's pregnant with their oopsie-one night stand-baby.)

Dress down, one of his only instructions, the only thing he asked for their...date? Outing? Whatever, she's failed probably. She tries not to let her failing bother her, but it does, oh it so does, and she can't help it...

She changes seven times.


Throughout his entire life, even since he was tiny and his mother would make sure he had lunch to bring to school in the morning, Killian has always been told he's too cautious and worries too much.

It's a trait that kept him from asking Emma to go on a date with him from the second he met her, and the trait that makes him stand awkwardly outside a park, scratching behind his ear to show his nervousness.

He can't help but being scared she won't show up, after all, she did leave him alone after a pretty amazing night, and he hasn't seen her in a month, except for when he kind-of-sort-of stalked her online profiles and saw photos, not in person anyway.

He also can't help but be shocked when the blonde beauty approaches him with a nervous smile, not in a dress but a pair of jeans, which he didn't expect, and he grins wide- he can't help that either. "Swan."

Emma grins at him, stopping in front of him and stretching her arms out to show him her outfit. "Good or not casual enough?" He laughs softly and gives her a thumbs up, making her smile wider. "So, what's on the agenda?"

He smiles at her, shoving his hand in his pockets, wondering what she'll think. "Sailing. On my ship."

To his luck, Emma seems excited at the idea, nodding quickly with a giant smile. "Yeah, that's a great idea!"

He quickly extends an arm to her, which she takes, and they descend to his ship, smiles not fading, and his relief doesn't fade the whole way there, but she has this nervous tension practically like an aura around her, and he thinks he should ask, but also knows it's probably best not to.

Killian can settle with smiles for now.


Their date goes well, and they learn more about each other than before, despite the fact they've already slept together (and made a baby, but, details...) and spoke quite a lot that day, but it makes them like the other just that bit more.

Killian's already head over heels with her, he's fairly certain she's not in as deep as him, but he hopes one day she could be, as it doesn't seem like he won't like her any time soon. He's never felt this way for anyone before, ever, and it scares the crap out of him, considering the fact she left him after one almost-kinda-date, she could run now too.

For Emma's part, she's had to bite her tongue every five minutes so she won't ruin their date and tell him her secret, but she knows he can sense something is wrong, especially not after they almost immediately declared it a date within seconds of standing on his ship- the Jolly Rodger, if you wondered, he even brought a fake hook and pretended to boss her around- and she's enjoyed herself for every second of their day together.

Both are pretty much gone, although him considerably more than her, while she mainly thinks of how any affection he had for her will vanish at her news, making her not want to say at all.

So she doesn't.

Not on the Jolly, not when they go for ice cream after, not as he lets her have his jacket when it gets cold, not when he walks her to her door, not even when she drags him in for a nightcap, not even when he leaves the next morning for work- promising to arrange another date soon, exchanging kisses at her door.

If she wasn't totally screwed about telling him before, she is now.


It's a week full of date nights and goodbye kisses at the door before he tells her he wants her to meet Tink, claiming how she helped him find her again, and Emma agrees without a second thought, however she probably should have thought about it- seeing as he still has no clue, too smitten with her and her with him, and his friend may see through her lies about wine and coffee.

She misses coffee more than she missed sex, but now she has one without the other and all she wants is a proper cup of coffee, almost tempted to say yes half the time, but she settles on decaff with a sigh most times.

They have dinner, all three (well four including the baby inside her, but forgetting that detail) have dinner at Killian's ho-mansion, Tink giving Emma weird eyes and she keeps offering wine, but Emma declines each and every time- making the other blonde raise an eyebrow, but doesn't comment.

While Emma goes into the kitchen to grab another glass of water, Tink leans over the table to Killian with a frown. "Okay, what is this?"

Killian, in utter confusion, chews on his food thoughtfully. "This is you meeting my girlfriend."

Tink rolls her eyes, sipping her wine, before looking back at him straight in the eye. "The no wine thing? You told me she's high fly, loves her wine, elegant...you said she's Patsy Wolfe's niece, when has any of that family r-"

"Tink," He warns gently, frowning. "She just doesn't want some wine, leave it alone, can't you just be happy I-"

"I am happy." Tink tells him, not a word of a lie. "And I like Emma, I really do...but she's hiding something. And Killian you're totally blind to it, remember how when we spoke about love and love stories?"

"Yeah..." He raises an eyebrow, not sure where she's headed. "Develop?"

"We said how this could be an awesome love story, better than Brad and Angelina-"

"They've broken up by the way," Killian smirks softly, knowing of Tink's love for the couple and how crushed she was at the news, she almost cried at it, called him near tears and he had to ply her with ice cream and tissues. "So not the greatest love story-"

Tink blinks, twice and then once more a few seconds later, worried frown on her face. "Do you want your love story to be 'she hid something from me from the beginning of our relationship'? Because I sure as hell don't want that to be it, you deserve more then secrets, Jones."

Killian sighs, sipping at his water, considering her words. "I'll talk to her soon, promise."


Exactly a month after their first date, well not the first but close enough, Emma confides in Mary Margaret that she still hasn't told Killian, making the woman gasp and scold her, and Emma shrinks in on herself.

Biting her lip, she hugs herself, accepting her scolding from the nicest woman in the world, who she knows only wants the best for her, she knows that well, but she...she just can't tell him. "Don't you think he'll realize as you get bigger, you're two months pregnant, you can't hide it forever." She reminds her, making Emma groan.

She knows Killian will notice the second she gets a bump, he practically has a map in his head of her body, every curve, every freckle, mole or scar, he knows it all. He has a tendency to let his hands skim over her body after they've been intimate, pressing kisses to any of her blemishes and marks on her body, so she knows he'd notice even a little bump.

But, she also doesn't think she can tell him now, too scared, and she has an appointment in four weeks she doesn't want to go alone to, but she also won't not go, as her baby is more important then anything in her world, on the same level as her job, Killian second for now- he'll move up, it's only been a month.

A couple of Mary Margaret glares, staring at her doctors appointment slip and tea later, she knows she has to tell Killian very soon, but it doesn't stop her from sitting on her kitchen floor with chocolate ice cream, bun on her head and sweatpants on, crying her eyes out.

Mood swings may be coming early, or maybe that's just her...


Her love for chocolate ice cream doesn't go away, and she's discovered that she dips crisps in it and it makes her practically moan, having about seven tubs in the freezer of ice cream and two hundred packs of crisps in the cupboard.

Killian's taken to side eying her, frowning at her moans, grumbling about how it sounds like she's having more fun eating then she does in between the sheets, to which she looks practically offended and drags him to bed.

(He's not complaining, though he keeps saying she's insatiable.)

The only thing that's becoming harder to hide is the fact she keeps on buying new bras, wearing lots of elastic pants, and craving weird foods that Killian goes to get for her. She's ten weeks pregnant and planning on telling him the next time she sees him she promises herself, the next time, as soon as, no backing out.

As if he could read her mind, he walks through her apartment door with bags of food, using a borrowed key, and she almost tells him like she promised, but, like usual, she just thanks him and runs.

Oh, she's so dead, so, so dead.


Unfortunately, she doesn't tell Killian the next time she sees him, or the next time, or the next time, and she knows she running out of time before she gets a bump, one that he'll notice and he'll know about.
One that he'll probably run from, not wanting her or the baby.

And that thought, him not wanting them, that's what always makes her pause in her telling him, and ultimately, what makes her decide not to tell him, no matter how wrong it is not to tell the man you're slowly falling for that you're having his baby.

She knows its wrong, she tells herself it's wrong each and every night, but it doesn't mean she's going to tell him, she just can't risk it. Even if he will find out, and leave, and probably sign away his rights or think she's an awful mother and go for custody, which he probably would get considering she'll be awful at it, she just can't.

With everything in her, she hopes he'll forgive her, because she sure as hell isn't forgiving herself any time soon.


Sorry I haven't posted in...a long time... but I have had the worst time of it soooooo I haven't had time/ haven't been well enough/ haven't stopped being sick long enough.